Question: do you believe in the whole concept of zodiac signs?

Answer: to an extent. Almost everything I've read about libras is accurate, but I don't completely agree with the pairing system. I mean if I find myself a South Korean man who isn't a Gemini or Sagittarius I'm jumping into that relationship haha.

Chapter 32 - Ramifications.

Oliver

My eyes were shut dreamily and my hands folded into a fist on Khalid's chest, grabbing a handful of his shirt and crumpling it up. Khalid stood frozen, even his breathing had seized as he just stood there, motionless. 

I couldn't tell the look he had on his face because I squeezed my eyes shut as I took in the deepest breath ever, taking Khalid's scent into my soul. The hands that were formerly fisting his shirt were now carding through silk clumps of his hair.

How much I'd wanted to do this.

The kiss remained as just a smack and my drunk self wasn't satisfied. Opening my mouth and getting my tongue to graze over his upper lip, he speedily grabbed me by my arm and pulled me backwards and away from him. 

"Wha-what are you doing, Olly? What did you just do?" His breathing was unsystematic and hasty, trembling and matching the bewildered look on his face.

Fluttering my eyelids severally, I licked my lips hungrily and savoured the taste of the kiss I just stole. Despite hearing the question he'd just asked, my mind was far away from him and I had no intentions of answering.

"I-I need to go," he turned rapidly and twisted the handle of my door, pulling it open.

"Are you just going to leave me?" I asked, displeased by his reaction to my innocuous kiss. 

"I'm not leaving you, I'm going back to the party we both should be at. You can follow me if you're still interested," he replied quite indifferently, facing his back towards me.

"Yeah sure, I'm-I'm still interested," I mused after taking cognizance of the tone in his voice a few seconds later. "Let me just get my keys, wherever I dropped them," I murmured, running my hands over my body and darting my eyes in every direction on the floor in search of my keys. 

"Here it is," he uttered quickly, handing the key over to me.

He made sure to avoid physical and eye contact and my drunk self just thought he was overacting. I only just stole a kiss from him, I didn't rape him or anything given the fact I'd been doing that to him in my mind for so long.

"Thanks," I spoke plainly.

Khalid got out and I followed, locking my door before walking down the hallway. He walked ahead of me, not slowing down or sparing me a simple glance even as we got into the elevator. 

The second we stepped into the common area, it seemed like Khalid removed me from his friend's list just as quickly as he disappeared from my side and joined Alex and the others. He exchanged a few words with him and the next thing I knew, Alex sent a glare my way. 

I automatically stiffened and feared the worst. Lots of what ifs trooping in and out of my head, but I decided to shove it aside. At least for tonight. I wanted to spend the rest of the night happy and I needed more alcohol to achieve that.

Standing at a spot and scanning the room, my eyes instantly fell on Kevin who was dancing on his knees in front of Mako with a bottle of wine in his hand. I burst into laughter when Mako tried to get him to stand up but he only started screaming the song lyrics. 

My eyes were fixed on Kevin and Mako, I didn't notice when Sam walked up to me. I didn't even notice that he was present in the common area when I stepped in with Khalid.

"Hello Oliver," he greeted, extending a hand for me to shake.

"Olly, please," I corrected, taking the hand and forcing a smile. I truly wasn't in the mood for new conversations, but I was greatly in the mood for more alcohol.

"Olly, sorry," he noted. "You did tell me that you loved being called Olly instead of the full thing," he added, returning the fake smile I had on with a genuine one.

"Yeah I did," I confirmed dismissively, taking my eyes back to Kevin and Mako who were still struggling. 

"Yeah," he replied nervously, fiddling with his plastic cup. "I was thinking… ummm, do you maybe want to come to my room after the party?" He suggested and my brows just furrowed on their own, a confused frown making its way across my face.

"Come to your room how?" I questioned, looking directly at him.

"Like come up to the fifth storey, my room, and maybe spend the night," he rephrased, making his point clear.

That only deepened my frown and aggravated my confusion. "Why would I want to spend the night in your room?" I threw another question his way with an even more displeased tone. 

"It's just an invitation, I was thinking you might want to spend the night with someone," he broke our eye contact and sipped from his cup.

"Well, no. Thank you for inviting me, but I'm already spending the night with someone," I forced another smile on my face but the genuine smile on his was already gone. 

"Oh, I guess I'll have to find someone else," he muttered to himself, walking away and drinking from his cup.

"Find someone else'? What are you talking about?" I narrowed my eyes at him but he'd already walked away.

Maybe he heard me, maybe he didn't but he didn't bother to reply to me anymore. 

Taking a deep breath I walked over to the table and poured a drink for myself. Regret for what I'd done had already begun to weigh on my paranoia but I shook it off and drowned it in a sea of beer foam. No matter what might have happened tonight, I refused to spend the rest of the night worrying. I decided to enjoy the rest of it just like Kevin was.

Looking over at Khalid who sat beside Alex on a sofa, talking about only God knows what, my jaws tightened and I almost squeezed the cup in my hand. 

I took another round of deep breaths to calm myself. 

Happy thoughts only, I reminded myself just before I joined Kevin on his awful dancing frenzy. 

***

Waking up the next morning, my head, which was planted into one of my pillows, hurt like crazy. Rolling to my side, I blinked severally before fully opening my eyes.

Kevin who was supposed to still be asleep by my side was sitting at the edge of my bed, bemused and staring blankly ahead. I shuddered at the sight of him, the way he sat so still kind of frightened me. 

"What are you doing?" I muffle-groaned into my pillow, burying my head back into it.

"We've school on Monday," was the first thing he said. He still sat motionless at the edge of the bed, looking somewhat petrified by the thought of school.

"Oh God," I groaned again. "I know we have school on Monday. Can't we just enjoy this weekend without thinking about school?" 

"Maybe you can, but I can't," he sighed and crawled back up to the bed to sit cross-legged in front of me. "I've a wicked headache," he blurted. 

"Same," I snorted before laughing completely. "I doubt my headache is as wicked as yours though, you took so much yesterday," I informed, smiling at the way he rubbed his temples.

"Yeah, I know. I've taken enough for the entire semester. I don't think I'm gonna drink again till this semester is over, I don't even think I'm going to attend another party," he whined. 

"How did we even end up here, in my room? When did we come up?" I sat up, wincing and sucking in air at the pain I felt in my head. 

"Dude," he dragged his speech, trying to recollect, "I don't even know," his hands fell to his legs when he failed to remember.

"Me neither, so don't beat yourself up. I'm pretty sure you can remember more than I can," I chuckled, resting my head on the headboard.

"All I can remember is some guy named Sam asking if I would want to spend the night with him and then Mako pulling me away from him," he delayed in his speech, "that was around the time Khalid and the rest who were sober enough started cleaning up," he finished, pressing the bridge of his nose.

"They cleaned up last night?" I asked, raising a brow.

"This morning, you mean," he corrected, lying back down and placing his head on the soft pillow. "What says the time?" 

"Hold on," I stretched and leant over him to get to my bedside table. 

"You're gonna suffocate me," he mumbled a complaint into my stomach. His warm breath tickled my bare skin since my shirt had given way, revealing the lower part of my torso. 

"At least that's better than being killed by alcohol," I chuckled, retrieving my phone and returning to my previous position. "Oh my God, it's 4PM," I gasped, turning to Kevin who was equally shocked.

"Today is wasted," he realised, sinking into the bed. "I need to leave before six or the school campus will be closed by the time I get there."

"What's the rush? Spend another night here," I suggested, digging my fingers into his hair and gently playing it with.

"As much as I would love to, I can't. I don't have enough clothes here," he refused, glaring at me for what I was doing to his hair but I ignored him and continued.

"Screw clothes. I've clothes," I dismissed his argument. "Please? We also have tons of assignments to attend to, what's better than doing it together?" I persuaded.

"I don't have my texts here with me," he stated.

"We can use my texts," I shot back, there was no way I could let him win. "Shirley is here too, I don't know how long she's going to stay but we can work together."

He sighed, "Fine."

"Yay," I cheered and ruffled his hair vigorously this time before jumping out of the bed. Walking to my fridge to get myself a drink of water, I said, "I'm hungry and I need food, but I don't think the girls are awake yet." I turned the cap and opened it, gulping down just enough to soothe my burning throat.

"Can I get some?" He requested from the bed. 

"Sure," I threw him a bottle. 

Drinking more from the bottle, a few drops leaving my mouth and trailing down my neck, I remembered everything from last night— or this morning— as clearly as day. Even if the sweet feeling of Khalid's lips on mine didn't dwell on my lips, I could still remember the look on his face after I kissed him. 

The way he pulled me away from him, the way his attitude turned cold after the kiss still hurt me. It was still too early to feel regretful for doing it because we hadn't spoken about it yet. However, I silently hoped and prayed I hadn't just ruined a friendship. 

Jess and Yadiri woke up a few hours later without any hangovers of any sort, Kev and I were jealous because we'd been trying to abate ours with Pringles and ketchup— awful combination but what could we do? 

We spent some time over a game of scramble. Just as I expected, Kevin was very good. It did get to the point where we were both in a tight corner so we started over. 

The four of us spent the rest of Saturday together after 'breakfast', as we called it. They did later go out to the balcony to meet up with the rest and chat about how fun the party last night was and so on, but I dismissed the idea of going with them.

Despite wanting to talk with Khalid as soon as possible to get things cleared out, I wasn't ready. I was far from being ready. I feared he might ignore me which would probably hurt more than getting slapped or punched by him. 

The more I thought about it, the more terrified and embarrassed I became. I had previously believed that it was still too early to feel regretful, but right now I felt nothing but regret for what I had done during the party. That look on his face was one I hadn't seen him wear too often and I was overthinking things. 

Me
Hey Jess.

Jess
Yeah? You're not sleeping yet?

Me
No, not yet.

It was around 1AM on Sunday and Kevin was already fast asleep. He'd gone to bed over an hour ago after we'd come to a conclusion to get as much assignment as we could done the next day, which was today already.

Jess
What's up? I'll be going to bed very soon.

Me
Nothing much, I just saw you online and I decided to hit you up. I've been texting with Mason.

Jess
You lover boy.

Her replies were instant, so was mine. That was exactly how Jess and I always texted, we paid utmost attention to each other's chat box. The second I received that last text though, I paused for a few seconds and my eyes began to sting. 

Shutting them whilst taking deep breaths, my heart felt heavy as it pounded my chest and I wished I could get rid of all kinds of emotions and feelings that were burgeoning inside of me. 

At this point I was deeply regretful for kissing Khalid and I wasn't ready to suffer the ramifications of that action. I also hadn't thought about Mason until he texted me earlier in the evening, he wasn't even on my mind when I shamelessly threw myself at Khalid. 

I was so caught up in the moment that I actually thought Khalid would kiss me back, then I will gently tell Mason off. That didn't go too well for me. Up till that very moment he texted me, I hadn't thought about how Mason would've felt if he found out I was kissing someone else.

Me
Yeah, boy in luv here.

I added a laughing emoji which was a complete contrast to how I truly felt inside. That's probably the front everyone has to put on to look happy on social media. I'm sure we've all had those days. 

Me
How's everyone? 

Jess
Everyone where?

Me
Everyone in the dorm. You all met up, right?

Jess
Yeah we did, everyone was okay. I think you and Kevin are the only ones who ended up hungover.

She teased with a laughing emoji. I normally would've reacted, but I wasn't in the mood to do so, I brushed it off.

Me
Was Khalid there with you guys? 

Jess
No he wasn't, they said he's not feeling too well or something along that line. 

Me
So a hangover then?

Jess
Something like a running stomach, but he'll be fine. You and Kevin are still the only ones who ended up with hangovers.

My eyes stung again and my facial muscles trembled and twitched after reading her last text. I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe that my kiss was too repulsive; it gave him a running stomach.

Me
Okay.

That was the only reply I could come up with. 

Jess
Is everything alright?

Me
Yeah, of course, everything is fine. Goodnight. 

I went offline and turned my phone off. I didn't even bother to say goodnight to Mason who was still texting me. 

Texting with him just filled me with so much guilt. Being online reminded me that I could be texting with Khalid at that very moment, but I'd just ruined that. 

Changing my sleep posture over a gazillion times, I finally forced myself to fall asleep without shedding any tears or thinking too much. My breakdown was something Kevin did not need to see. It was still too early for a breakdown anyway. 

Khalid and I hadn't talked properly yet so maybe I was just being my normal paranoid self who keeps overthinking everything. 

Waking up the next day, which was Sunday, my hope was renewed and I had high expectations for how the day was going to turn out. For one, I truly hoped and prayed that I would get  to talk with Khalid today, maybe even get to spend time with him in the garden. He was going to call me like he always did.

Khalid isn't mad at me or upset that I kissed him.

I kept reassuring myself.

***

Shirley, Kevin and I were currently in my room working on our assignments together. Chris had left us some hours ago because he was such a distraction so a vote was cast for him to stay or to leave, Shirley lost. 

We'd been able to achieve quite a lot since he left. Honestly, it was enough to call it a day but Kevin and I were dedicated to get to our goal before dropping the pen.

"That should be the answer," Kevin mused, gently biting the head of his pen whilst keeping his gaze fixed on the problem.

"Yeah sure it is," Shirley approved idly. 

"You think so?" I asked, scanning the problem as well. I'd also solved the problem and arrived at the same answer as Kevin, so that was bound to be the right answer.

"You're asking Shirley for approval?" Kevin scoffed, looking up at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, why not?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "She understands stellar dynamics, I'm sure she understood the introduction part at least," I added, turning to Shirley who didn't even seem to care that we were talking about her in that manner.

"I know she understands but her attention is far from what we're doing," he pointed out, sending her a questioning look. "You want to prove me wrong?" 

"Huh?" She blurted, looking from me to Kevin.

I hadn't noticed Shirley had been absent-minded until Kevin mentioned it. 

"See?  told you her attention is not here with us," he crowed. 

"It is, I-I just didn't hear what you said earlier," she objected, defending the blank look on her face.

"Okay then," Kevin cleared his throat and adjusted. "What problem are we talking about?" He asked, pointing the end of his pen at Shirley who drew her shoulders up.

"Ummm it's on stellar dynamics, obviously," she scoffed and laughed nervously. 

"That's basic, even Chris knew we were solving problems on stellar dynamics," he stated. "I mean what question number are we currently solving?" He reworded his question, shoving the textbook closer to Shirley.

"Question number six?" She said it as a question. It was clear she was unsure and only taking a wild guess. 

Kevin clucked his tongue and folded his arms, wearing a displeased frown he said, "There are only three questions on that page, I don't know what you're seeing," he mentioned, shaking his head at her.

"I-umm… that was the umm... I thought it was ummm…" Shirley trailed off. "Okay I wasn't paying attention, get off my back already," Shirley gave up and fell back on the floor with a laugh, facing up to the ceiling. "I'm just not in the mood to solve things now, my head still kind of hurts and Jess doesn't have any more green tea. You boys finished it," she emphasised the last part. 

We were either sitting cross-legged or sprawled out on the floor, solving the problems together. 

"Like she mentioned; we are the only ones who ended up hungover. So we deserved every cup," Kevin stated his own point. 

"You deserved every cup," Shirley garbled, mimicking his tone with laughter in her voice. "How did you even get so hungover, Mako realistically spent half of the party trying to get you to stop drinking," Shirley wondered, drawing invisible circles in the air. 

"I'm extraordinary, okay? Get that," Kevin bragged, wearing a proud smile on his face. 

Shirley garbled his last sentence, mimicking him again. Watching these two argue was truly a comic relief but I eventually blanked out of their argument when I started overthinking again. 

Solving problems with Kevin was a good distraction but now we'd taken a break from that, every thought I'd been trying to get away from came flowing back at full speed. Even more intense than they were the time. 

The suspense was killing me. I just wanted to talk with Khalid and know what my fate looked like.

We'd spent another hour or two working on the rest of our assignments. It was nearing evening now, Kevin and Shirley had to head back to the dorms on campus before it got too late. 

Shirley had taken a shower and gotten all of her stuff from Chris's room. I soon came to learn from her that Khalid had left the room for both of them to enjoy alone. She also said he spent the both nights in Mako's and Justin's room. 

I couldn't deny how relieved I felt when I found out he hadn't spent the night in Alex's room. I still couldn't explain why I hated seeing the both of them together so much. 

My original anger towards that friendship accompanied with my most recent encounter with Alex just made me hate it even more. However, from where I currently stood, I was unsure if I still had the privilege to worry about such things, if I still had the title of Khalid's friend. 

Kevin had prepared as well and it hurt me that he was going back. I enjoyed his company so much, it hurt that I would be going back to spending my nights alone. I made him a sandwich as a parting gift. 

I'd spent the whole of Sunday attending to my assignments with Kevin and Shirley, I hadn't even had the chance to have a good talk with the girls. 

"Here," I handed him the sandwich when Shirley returned from Chris's room with her bag, ready to go. "From me to you. Enjoy it when you get back," I smiled as I watched him take the small plastic plate from me.

"Thank you so much," he returned my smile then put the plastic plate into the little backpack hanging on one of his shoulders. 

"Are you guys going to hug now?" Shirley asked, pointing at the both of us. 

"Maybe," Kevin turned to me and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Getting the message, I instantly threw my arms open and hugged him. He leant into the hug, wrapping his arms around me and gently tapping my back. 

"For real, are you guys going to propose now?" Shirley pressed on, feigning frustration. 

"Give up on that, nobody is proposing to anybody," I announced, smirking at her. 

"Well that's just sad," she chortled. 

We broke the hug and started heading out of my room. I was to see them off till they get into a students' shuttle bus back to the school dorms. 

"However, if someone was to propose who would it be?" Shirley dwelled on the issue with another question, she seemed genuinely enthused about our bromance.

"Ugh," I groaned. "You don't want to give up do you?" I chuckled, locking my door before joining them to walk to the lift. 

"Nah, not yet," she shrugged, shaking her head.

"I would probably be the one to propose," Kevin replied dryly.

I gasped. "You betrayer," shrieking, I smacked his arm gently. 

"Not even going to lie, I approve. That's how it's supposed to be," Shirley supported and I turned my shocked eyes to her.

We got into the elevator and made it to the ground floor.

"I can't believe I didn't attend a church service today," Kevin muttered remorsefully, but loudly enough for us to hear.

"Welcome to my club," I let out air from my nose and threw an arm over his shoulders. 

"Is this your first time of missing church on a Sunday as well?" He asked, turning to look at me. 

My arm was a bit stressed and I could tell I was weighing him down because he was a few inches taller than me. He didn't brush me away or mention it anyway, and I was glad he didn't. My height always found a way to embarrass me. 

"I've not attended a church service since I came to Denberg," I replied in a flat tone whilst trying my best to nurse a straight face.

"Goodness gracious," he gasped, placing both of his hands over his mouth.

"What?" I shot back, shyly tearing my arm away from around his neck and dragging my feet. "It's not like I go to church every Sunday back at home. It doesn't mean I won't go to church though. I'll attend a church service soon. Not now, but soon," I explained, leering at him from the side of my eyes. 

He'd already brushed it off, he wasn't judging me at all. Neither was Shirley. She wasn't even interested in our conversation, she walked ahead while texting on her phone.

"Make sure to send pictures of everything we solved to the group chat so we can write it down," Kevin reminded me. 

"Sure, will do. If I don't Shirley will murder me anyway," I chortled.

They'd found a shuttle bus minutes after leaving the big, black gate of my dorm. Waving them goodbye— despite knowing that I would see them in school tomorrow— I watched the shuttle bus drive off before walking back into my dorm and heading up. 

On getting to my storey; the fourth storey, I decided to go all the way around in hopes of seeing Khalid. Taking deep breaths which turned shaky with every step that I took, I entered the long hallway and there Khalid was; at his spot, with his AirPods neatly placed in his ears. 

Squeezing my eyes shut and muttering a silent prayer, I swallowed the lump which had suddenly formed in my throat and continued walking up to him. When I got up to where he stood, he didn't seem to notice me until I tapped him slightly, making him jerk and turn his head in my direction. 

The way his eyes widened and his expression fell the second his eyes registered my presence made me bite my tongue until I got the metallic taste of my own blood in my mouth. Removing one AirPod and leaving one ear open, he stared at me with a hollow expression, waiting for me to say something.

This wasn't him, the Khalid I knew would've greeted me or, at least, made a friendly gesture of throwing an arm over my shoulder. Despite taking full notice of the acerbity in his attitude towards me I took a deep breath and greeted.

"Hi." Waving and forcing a ghostly, quick smile on my face, I blurted.

"What is it you want?" He asked, his voice was insanely plain and cold.

My shoulders slumped and I bit my tongue at the same spot, a bit harder this time, causing it to bleed even more. It was the only way I could stop myself from screaming out loud and losing my shit in front of him. 

"Nothing I-I-I—" I inhaled, then exhaled. "I just want to talk," I managed to get it out without a stutter this time.

"Not now. let's talk later, please," he replied instantly, taking his eyes which bore no emotions at all back to the dark screen of his phone.

"I just—" 

"Please," he interrupted me, pleading again. 

I couldn't understand the whole concept of not talking now, but later. I refused to understand. I wanted to talk now and get things sorted out. The suspense was killing me, I needed to get my emotions under control and uncertainty wasn't helping me in that endeavour. 

"I don't understand, why not now? I just want to tell—"

Before I could finish he brought his right leg, which he rested on the railings, down, shoved it into the appropriate pair of his slides and walked away from me. Leaving me standing there with my unfinished sentence at the tip of my tongue. 

He didn't stop for one second, he didn't spare me, at the very least, a quick glance above his shoulders. He just strolled away from me. 

Staring after him even though he'd already disappeared into the other hallway which led to his room, warm tears trailed down my eyes.