It was weird to think that it was already Thanksgiving. Time was flying by when life wasn't chaotic. You'd think it'd be the total opposite since life would be calm.

For once, I was spending some much needed quality time with my adoptive family. It wasn't just us three, though. Max and Darien were going to try and join us later on, as they had to make stops at their families' places first. Amanda would have come, but she was meeting Taylor's family today. She seemed pretty serious about this relationship, much more than when she had dated Alex, and he was a while ago.

I'd extended the invitation to Kendal and Madison. Kendal said she'd make it over later, as she was spending time with her family. Madison wanted to come, but with so many places she was going, she highly doubted she would be able to stop by. I guess her relationship with Gabriella was still very serious. I'd teased if this meant wedding bells in the future for them both.

I'd left a little bit of a surprise out for my adoptive parents. They'd been kept in the dark about most of my life, but today was the day where they were going to get caught up. I could tell them about what was going on with other people in my life; I just couldn't give them every detail about my life. If I didn't tell them squat about Moriarty, I wasn't going to mention anything about Bayley to them, though I was sure his name was bound to come up at some point once they realized he wasn't coming.

My adoptive parents were floored when they saw who I brought along for dinner. Mom was eager to welcome and usher Derek in while Dad looked him over, inspecting him. It was weird how I had two dads, my adoptive and biological.

Speaking of my biological dad, I hadn't talked to him lately. I didn't know what was going on with his life currently, just like he didn't know what was going on in mine. I hoped his life was on the mend like mine was.

With the TV playing a football game in the background, Mom and I got the table set and ready. Derek was with my dad, left alone to face his gaze.

"I see you've moved on," Mom noted quietly. "Things didn't work out with Bayley?"

My heart thumped in my chest painfully. "No."

"It's a shame. I liked him, Rachel. He was a keeper."

"Derek is too, you know. Give him a chance."

"Oh, I am, sweetheart." She squeezed my shoulder. "It'll take some time getting used to him is all. Boys, dinner is ready!"

The TV wasn't shut off, as Dad and Derek wanted to listen to the game. I watched football if there was absolutely nothing better to watch. I understood it sometimes, but I never favored any team. It seemed like every time I watched it, new rules were put into effect with the penalties.

With the TV as background noise, we ate. Dad and Derek mainly talked while Mom and I ate quietly. As I stole glances at Derek, I couldn't help but see some similarities with him and Moriarty, mainly the hair and the eyes. This had been happening for a while, ever since I started going out with him back in September. I would start to see things in him that I had seen in Moriarty or Bayley, the two lying men I'd fallen in love with.

I partially blamed Derek for bringing back my nightmares too. Every once in a while my mind would bring back that night at the pool. Each time, somehow, I could find Bayley in his cover; see the nerves in his eyes. I could hear him yell "No!" right after he took the shot and hit me in the shoulder. After that, I could always hear Moriarty's maniacal laughter. Other nightmares consisted of them both working against me. It often involved Bayley kidnapping me or they were both in the same room, with Bayley restraining me while Moriarty taunted me.

Not all my nights consisted of nightmares. Sometimes my memories peeked through, showing me some better times. The better dreams all involved Bayley, how we'd had such a good connection, how I'd considered being married to him if he'd asked me.

But those dreams reminded me of a thing that would never happen again. Bayley and I were over. We hadn't talked since our relationship ended. I had no traces of him with me except for his image imprinted in my brain. I'd given him back the anniversary necklace on the night I asked Mandy to come get me.

"Rachel." My dad's voice brought me out of my deep thinking.

"Sorry." I blushed. "Zoned out. Did you ask me something?"

"I asked how John was."

"Oh. Truthfully, I don't know." I wrung my hands in my lap. "I haven't talked with him a lot lately."

"I hope something isn't wrong," Mom fretted. "Things were starting to get great for him."

"Sorry, who's John?" Derek asked.

"He's my real dad," I explained. "I'm adopted."

"Huh, I never knew that."

"I wanted to tell you later on. It's a big personal thing."

A loud rapping on the door saved us from awkward silence. I rushed to get it, more than relieved to find Kendal grinning at me. She hugged me.

"Thank God you came at the right time," I breathed.

"That's what I'm here for," she sang. "Did I miss dinner?"

"Nope. Come on in."

Kendal really helped out. She'd been a little taken aback by seeing Derek with my adoptive parents. She shot me an accusing glare, I blushed. She quickly introduced herself to Derek and got everyone talking again, everyone except for me. I watched them all, my mind muddled with thoughts.

At times I wanted to fiddle with the double heart nestled on my skin only to find it missing. It had been around my neck every day since Bayley had gotten it for me. Now it was gone, just like he was. My heart drooped a little.

Despite Bayley being a liar, I kind of missed him.

Kendal talked with Derek much more than she needed to, but it was good for me, as I couldn't really pay attention to anyone or anything at the moment. When Mom called me back to help her with the dishes, I shuffled in like a robot.

Mechanically, I washed while Mom dried. I couldn't clear my head.

A sharp pain erupted in my hand. I hissed, pulling my hand out of the soapy water. A thin line had been cut on my palm. Blood seeped through.

"Damn it," I growled.

"Rachel!" Mom gasped quietly. "Keep pressure on it and stay here."

I didn't have to wait long for her as she came back with a massive bandage. I mentally hit myself for my stupidity. A full mind was dangerous for me.

"What's gotten into you?" Mom whispered. "You're off today."

I gently laid my injured hand along the edge of the sink. "I can't focus."

"That's obvious. Look at me." She grabbed my chin. "What's bothering you?"

"Life."

"I need details; otherwise I can't help you, Rachel."

I sighed, looking towards the entranceway of the kitchen, listening as yet another football game started up.

"Oh." My eyes went to my mother's face. "This isn't working out, is it?"

"I don't know," I said lowly. "I want it to, but..."

"You're not sure if it will." Mom nodded her head. "Are you regretting dating him?"

I shrugged. "I mean, he's not abusive or anything..."

"You're either still trying to get over Bayley and you aren't ready to move on, or you haven't gotten over him and want to make up with him."

I scoffed. "Like I want to get back together with him."

"When I see you and Derek together, I compare him to Bayley. You don't look happy with Derek." She smiled sullenly. "I mean, you do, but it's not genuine. Ultimately, it's your choice to be with whoever you want; I'm just saying what I've been seeing. Derek may be a nice boy, but he's not Bayley. Now, let's put you on drying duty. Let me deal with the danger."

* * *

You don't look happy with Derek. I mean, you do, but it's not genuine. Ultimately it's your choice to be with whoever you want; I'm just saying what I've been seeing. Derek may be a nice boy, but he's not Bayley.

I couldn't shake Mom's words as Derek drove me back to Amanda's place. Was she right? Did I still need more time to get over my last relationship? Was it even possible that I wanted Bayley back even though he'd lied to me?

My thoughts weren't entirely about my love life, as my attention was split in half. Half of the time I was searching for answers to those questions, and any other time I was responding to Dad's texts. They'd started not long after Derek left my adoptive parents' place.

What are you doing about Christmas?

I'm probably going to be with my parents. Why?

Well, Mrs. Holmes invited us over to their place for Christmas. I figured you might want to tag along.

I had to bite back a bitter laugh. Was Dad serious? Did he honestly think I would want to go back to London after all I went through there? I couldn't help but want to go back, only for the sake of meeting Sherlock and Mycroft's parents. I wanted to know if those apples fell far from their tree.

I'll have to think about it. Are things any better with you?

They've stayed the same. The only change is Mary is getting bigger.

Well, yeah, that's what happens when women get close to having their baby. :p Anyway, I don't think I'd want to go back. Too much pain.

Please, Rachel.

Dad, it costs MONEY to travel. I can't crap it out when I want it.

"Who's got you so busy?" Derek asked.

"My dad, my biological dad," I explained. "He's asking about Christmas."

"Are you going to visit him?"

"Maybe, if I can afford it."

"How's your hand?"

"Fine." I stole a side glance at him. Derek had his lips pursed. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Derek."

"I would rather talk to you when I'm not driving, just in case we get into an argument. Don't want to risk road rage."

My phone vibrated in my hands, alerting me to Dad's response. I opened the message.

You'd figure out something. Besides, you kind of have no choice in this.

Why?

I MAY have told Mrs. Holmes about you, and she's expecting you to be there.

Oh my God, Dad! Seriously? You're forcing me to go?

Don't act like you don't want to meet his parents, Rachel. You've got to be curious.

...I am. You're trying to make me miserable for Christmas, aren't you?

No, I want to spend the holidays with you.

I smiled faintly.

I realized Derek was parked in front of Amanda's place. I was glad I had a spare key, as I was sure Mandy was still with Taylor and his family. I got out, hearing Derek climb out as well. I was halfway to the door.

"Rachel, I don't think this can work."

I stopped in my tracks, turning to him. "Derek—"

"Let me finish. I know you aren't going behind my back, because you're not that kind of girl." That hurt, because I'd never told him about the fake affair. That secret was still known only to me, Sherlock, and Mycroft. "But I know you're not in this relationship like you were when we first started going out. I want to know what's going on, Rachel."

I blew out a breath. "I don't know what it is; I'm still trying to figure it out. I know this is going to sound so cliché, but it's not you, it's me."

"It's got something to do with your latest ex, doesn't it?"

I nodded. "He's not trying to get back with me or anything, if that's what you're thinking. I haven't talked to him since the day we ended it." My throat felt tight. "You're right, Derek, this won't work out." I wrung my hands. "I hate that I probably made you miserable, and I'm really sorry for that."

"I'm not upset with you, Rachel. You wanted to try this, and it wasn't meant to be. I was surprised you even wanted to give it a shot when I asked you."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I knew it was a big risk asking you when you were just out of a relationship. I'd had a feeling something was wrong when you said yes so quickly."

"I wasn't using you in any way, I swear."

"I know you weren't." He smiled. "I'm not upset."

"Really?"

"I'm not." He shrugged. "I know you didn't want to hurt me."

"So we can still be friends?" I put hope into my voice.

Derek hugged me; I buried my head into his shoulder. "Of course. But, if you come to a point where you want to give this another go, I'll be waiting." He kissed my temple. "Goodbye, Rachel."

A weight was off my chest. I was glad Derek was okay with this. I was glad I could still keep him as a friend. He and I would definitely get along. Maybe if we got closer down the road, I'd consider trying to go out with him again.

Until my head was clear and my thoughts were organized, that was going to have to be put on hold.

I waved as Derek drove off. As I got to the door, my phone buzzed. Dad again.

So, what do you say?

I mulled over it as I turned the key in the doorknob.

Bring on the tension and awkwardness. 

**Hmm...want to take a poll. It's an experiment. Who ships what?

Rachlock (RachelxSherlock)

Baychel (RachelxBayley)

Rariarty (RachelxMoriarty)

Rachek (RachelxDerek)**