Dear Journal,

Am I cursed, or am I just an idiot? Once again I've managed to find a villain in a seemingly good guy. Moriarty was strike one, and now Bayley is strike two. If I find one more guy who's like either of them, I will never date again.

Even though neither of us said the words, Bayley and I are done. We have been for about a few months now. The single life is actually kind of nice, once you get used to it again. Nobody is holding you down, nobody is lying to you.

Amanda is amazing beyond words. Only a best friend would come grab you in the late hours of the night after you asked her to help you move your things out. Only a best friend would welcome you back to her place with open arms and let you stay there for as long as you needed.

The first day back in Maryland was the hardest since Mandy asked the question. I wasn't up for talking about it so soon, not when it was still fresh, only happening the day before. But it didn't take long, because that night when I couldn't sleep, I spilled everything to her.

Since Mandy knows of my past with Moriarty, I could tell her the real reason why Bayley and I were no longer an item. She'd brought up the saying "like father, like daughter" when she also remembered Mary's incident. It's bitterly funny, because it's true.

Does this mean I'm addicted to a certain lifestyle too? Am I attracted to dangerous people? I'd been with Moriarty, then there had been the affair, and now I found out Bayley had been a sniper.

Now I wonder if Mary and Bayley had known each other before the Skype calls. Had Mary been a part of Moriarty's web of connections? It sounds a little farfetched, but she's an assassin, so the possibility isn't ruled out.

"You're writing again?" Mandy asked.

I looked up at her to see she was ready to go out. Ever since college was done for her, Amanda was constantly out. She did have some money to pay for it all, though, being that she's a waitress. She enjoyed it, mainly because she worked hard and got rewarded in the end with big tips.

"Yes. Problem?" I retorted lightly.

"Um, yeah, I'm worried you'll be stuck with cabin fever. Come on, it's my night off. We're going out; you get no say in it."

"Is it just us?"

Mandy laughed. "You wish, don't you? No, Derek and Taylor are coming along."

"Which one are you dating again?"

"Taylor. I'm telling you, Rachel, I think Derek wants you." She winked.

I wrinkled my nose. "Disgusting."

"Come on, you know I don't mean it in that way. I'll admit I phrased that wrong."

"You did," I agreed. "Where do you plan on going?"

"You know, out."

"Gee, specific, Amanda."

She rolled her eyes. "See? You're crabby. Either it's the cabin fever or it's that time of the month again."

"I think the latter."

"I'm telling you, this will help you a lot." She pouted, leaning over the arm of the chair I sat in. "Trust me."

* * *

I didn't realize Amanda wanted to go out later, like, in the evening.

We started our night off with dinner at Applebee's, nothing too big or fancy. Taylor and Mandy were almost all over each other to the point where it made me sick. She did find a looker; she had that kind of luck. He was on the taller side, with lighter blue eyes and very light brown hair. His voice was smooth, so it didn't seem hard for him to catch a woman.

Derek was the complete opposite of Taylor. He had very dark brown hair, a tanner complexion, and deep brown eyes. His smile was charming, I admit, and his voice had a roughness to it that was refreshing to hear. We were the uncomfortable ones at the booth since we had to watch Amanda and Taylor. It was awkward, so Derek and I constantly made fun of the new couple in front of us.

Once dinner was over, we ended up in one of the many parks in Maryland. The sun was beginning to set. My stomach churned at the gooiness of how this night was going. It was like Taylor and Mandy didn't know Derek and I existed, they were stuck in their little love world. I guess it was better that way. At least they weren't trying to force Derek and me together, but in a way, they indirectly were by becoming so interested in each other.

I just hoped Mandy didn't invite Taylor over for the night. I had a rough hunch as to what would follow. I wasn't up for having a restless night hearing those two do it in her bedroom. I certainly wasn't up for staying at a motel for a night just so I could sleep in peace.

While Mandy and Taylor went on ahead, they left Derek and me lingering in the back. We silently walked side by side.

"You have to wonder why they brought us along if they're only focused on each other," Derek broke the silence.

"They're trying to shove us together."

"Oh, you think so?"

"Come on, Derek, I know you aren't stupid. They're trying to play matchmaker."

"This isn't the first time Taylor has tried to help me out."

"I know that feeling." I felt nauseated, reminded of Max and Darien, how they'd introduced me to Bayley. I shivered, wishing Max and Bayley had never become friends. "They think we can't handle our own love lives."

My eyes went down sharply as I felt Derek try to grab my fingers. Shyly, I pulled my hand closer to my body. I knew that he liked me—I trusted Amanda's word on it—but I was far from ready to try and go after him. I barely knew him, he barely knew me. We were still strangers to each other.

"What's your biggest issue with relationships?" he asked.

"Trust," I said instantly. "My past two ended up being liars. I fell for bad people." My eyes went to the ground. "You?"

"Gold diggers."

"Wow, are you rich?"

"I wouldn't consider myself rich. I'm right where I want to be."

I nodded. "So your relationships are one-sided. Your girlfriends use you then throw you away once you're no use to them." I shook my head. "People like that deserve to be with their own kind. Do you have a job?"

"I teach self defense."

I briefly examined Derek. "I can see that." I smiled.

He chuckled. "Some of the other trainers get pissed off by me sometimes."

"Let me guess, mainly women want you to help them. Is that where you find your relationships? You date students?"

"It's not inappropriate, Rachel."

"You admitted it!" I squeaked, laughing.

"It's technically not inappropriate. They're of age, and I'm not teaching at a school."

"I think technically it's wrong. Maybe I should start taking classes," I noted. I was partially serious about it.

"I could always teach you if you want, but I won't charge you."

"That wouldn't be fair if you gave me free lessons." I pouted.

"Love is in the air!" Amanda squealed. She was hanging on Taylor's arm, her smile looking to fill up her entire face.

"Shut up, Mandy, you're drunk," I called.

"I'm less drunk than normal!"

I guess that was a good thing.

* * *

Taylor helped Amanda into the house like a gentleman. I watched him with hawk eyes. If he tried anything on her, I would be on his ass in a second. If Amanda had my back, I had hers. She did a lot for me; I had to repay her in some way.

Derek leaned against Taylor's car, as he was our chauffeur for the evening. I looked over my shoulder at him, beckoning for him to come in. I didn't want him out by himself at night. Self defense instructor or not, night was a dangerous time to be out alone.

"I wouldn't want to go in there," he warned me. "If Taylor is staying, you better hope you have earplugs."

"Oh God, is he loud?" I cringed.

"You don't know the half of it."

I gagged. "Great."

Derek chuckled. "That's why I'm out here."

"Isn't he your ride?"

"Yeah, but he might not be if he's staying over."

"Just take the keys."

"And then have him on my ass the next morning? No thank you." He shook his head.

"Well, if Taylor is staying, I guess that means you're staying too. Unless you would prefer to sleep in the car. Your choice."

Derek caved, coming to join me. Amanda and Taylor had disappeared, but we heard them from her bedroom. This was as quiet as it was going to be for the night if what Derek said about Taylor was true.

"We'll suffer through it together," I joked. "You can take my bed if you want, I'll sleep out on the couch, or in the chair. It doesn't matter, either way we'll hear them. Nothing is soundproof in here." I frowned.

"Eh, let's just stay in your room just in case. Taylor's told me a few—"

"Ah, don't!" I covered my ears.

"We could always sleep in his car, like you suggested."

"There wouldn't be enough room. I'm not up for an uncomfortable night."

"Just steal Amanda's car and we can drive to a motel or something."

"She hides her keys from me." I scowled. "God only knows that she'd hide them in a place where they'd be going at it. We'll just have to tough it out in here." I led Derek into my bedroom, shutting the door and locking it. "If you have to go pee, good luck with that adventure."

Derek was looking over my small room. "You're not much of a decorator, are you?"

"It isn't really my thing." I grabbed one of the pillows off my bed. "I'll take the floor."

"Nah, toss me the pillow. I'll sleep on the floor," Derek offered.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Give it here."

"Okay." I threw him the pillow. "Suit yourself. I hope you find the floor comfortable, because it's going to be a long night for both of us."

It turned out that the long night wasn't intolerable. Despite the occasional noise coming from Amanda's room, Derek and I could hear each other talk. We spent most of the night talking about anything to pass the time and free ourselves of the awkwardness between us.

I felt more like myself when talking with him, but a part of me held back in trying to work for something more with him. He seems to be pretty real. No affiliation with criminals whatsoever.

I wondered what talking with Derek would open up for me. If he was as pure as I thought he was, then maybe he was the keeper for me.

He was my last hope for a relationship, I'd struck out twice. One more strike, and I'd be done.