Can't Even Think Straight {24}
“Sebastian said he loved me,” I said happily.
“I know Evan. You’ve only told me five trillion times,” Rory reminded me.
“You could at least be happy for me,” I said with a pout. “Especially since I kept my promise to you and didn’t fuck the guy last ni- I USED THE DIRTY F-WORD OH MY GOD I’M SORRY.” I slapped my hands over my mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Rory said.
“RORY CONNOR KELLY! YOU JUST SAID THE BAD F-WORD THREE TIMES!” I cried in horror.
“Sorry mom,” Rory said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
“I’ll tell your mother on you! I’ll also tell her that while your name is ugly, it is very fun to say. Rory Connor Kelly, Rory Connor Kelly, Rory Connor Kelly,” I chanted happily.
“You have fun with that Evander,” Rory said, smirking when I whacked him in the arm and pouted.
“Evan,” I said sternly, whacking him in the arm again. “I’m going to legally change my name to just Evan!”
“You know you won’t,” Rory said, smacking my hand away as I went to hit him again.
“I don’t have to. My boyfriend loves me,” I said joyfully.
“That had nothing to do with what we were talking about, and you just wanted to say it again,” Rory said with a sigh.
“Psh, no. That totally fit into our conversation- SEBASTIAN AMSEL LOVES ME!” I began to bounce up and down as we walked towards our lockers. “LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!”
“Yep, you’re definitely gay,” Rory said, shaking his head.
“But my gay boyfriend loves me so I’m okay with that!” I said happily.
“Indeed I do.”
I smiled widely and spun to face an amused looking Sebastian. He held his arms out to me and I jumped into them, kissing him as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Sorry Rory,” he said apologetically, flashing Rory a smile. “I can’t control what he says about me, or how often he talks about me.”
“I don’t talk about you that much!” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Evan, he’s all you ever talk about,” Rory grumbled.
“Lies! I talk about other things besides Sebastian. Speaking of Sebastian, did you know he’s in love with me?” I smiled happily and kissed Sebastian.
“Come on; I better get you away from Rory before you make him mad,” he said with a laugh, grabbing my hand and kissing my cheek.
“Too late for that,” Rory grumbled.
Sebastian pulled me away from him and out into the main lobby. I grinned up at Sebastian and squeezed his hand.
“Say it,” I said eagerly.
“I love you Evan,” he said, laughing a little.
“That’s what I like to hear,” I said smugly, kissing him.
I turned to keep walking and jumped a little, hiding behind Sebastian. Jason and Kyle were watching me, leaning against the wall together. Jason smirked at me, a knowing look in his eyes.
Oh my god they were going to kill me soon! Maybe I should just tell Sebastian now so that they would go after Rory. It was Rory’s fault I still had my virginity, after all.
Hm…Maybe they would decide that Rory was a better punching bag than me. Then they would leave me alone for good! Yea, yea. That could work. That could definitely work.
“Evan, calm down. They’re not going to hurt you. I promise,” Sebastian said, offering me a reassuring smile.
“Psh, I’m not scared of Jason and Kyle. They’re pathetic. You’d have to be twice as pathetic to be afraid that they’re going to beat your face in. And I’m not path- AH!”
Something caught my ankle and I stumbled forward, losing my grip on Sebastian’s hand. I began to descend towards the ground and just prayed that it didn’t break my attractive face.
Arms wrapped around my waist and then Sebastian was pulling me up and into his arms. He steadied me and frowned deeply, concern in his eyes.
“Are you okay Evan?” he asked.
“Totally fine. Wasn’t about to break my face,” I said, clutching Sebastian’s arm for dear life. “I could’ve just died Sebastian. DIED!”
Sebastian ignored me and glared at someone. I turned and yelped in surprise. Sebastian tightened his hold on me.
“Jason, I could assume that was an accident and let you go, or I can accept that you did that on purpose and I can hurt you,” Sebastian said, his calm composure returning.
Jason, who was standing way too close for comfort, snickered. “You won’t do shit to me, pretty boy. You don’t want to get in trouble. It would ruin your perfect reputation,” he said, smirking.
Sebastian returned the smirk, a dangerous look flashing through his eyes. “You’re right. I’d hate for people to get the assumption that I rely on violence. However, let’s say I caught you outside of school with no one else around but your pathetic best friend there. And let’s also say that I just happened to let it slip to Rory that you two were going after Evan again. That wouldn’t be very pleasant now would it?”
Jason glared at Sebastian. Kyle, who was standing slight behind Jason, glared as well.
“Jase, he’s not worth it. Neither of them are. Let’s go,” Kyle grumbled.
“Yea, just get out of here! You weirdo with your fetish for looking at nudes of yourself,” I said, narrowing my eyes at Jason.
“What?” Jason asked, looking truly confused. “Seriously, you’re weird Evan. You have problems. And just because you’re dad works at the school, it doesn’t mean I’m afraid to hit you here. So shut your damn mouth.”
Sebastian pulled me so that I was behind him. “I’m getting very, very impatient with you Jason. If you so much as look at Evan ever again, I will make you regret it,” he said, gripping Jason’s shirt tightly and getting right in his face. “I highly recommend that you don’t piss me off.”
“You’re just another faggot Sebastian,” Jason hissed, though I could see the fear in his eyes.
Sebastian sighed. “I really don’t like that word. But, have it your way. I’ve warned you, and I won’t warn you again. Next time you bother Evan, there will be consequences, and I can promise you that you won’t like them.”
He released Jason and shoved him backwards into Kyle. Kyle steadied him and the two glared at us before hurrying off together.
“You’re so politely terrifying,” I said, staring at Sebastian in awe.
He chuckled and pulled me into his arms, kissing me. “I wasn’t about to stoop to their level of angry threats. But I meant what I said, so tell me if they give you any more trouble,” he said.
I nodded and the bell rang, making me jump. I kissed Sebastian deeply and gave him a goofy grin.
“I enjoy how protective you are!” I announced. “But I have to go to class. So, see you in lunch, oh sexy boyfriend of mine!”
I gave him a little wave before heading to class. When lunch came, I hurried to the lunch table, dragging Rory with me.
We sat across from Sebastian and Murphy. I watched them curiously. They were arguing about something.
Oh! Maybe Murphy had admitted he found me attractive, and now he and Sebastian were fighting over me! My dashing good looks were a double-edged sword. On one hand, I was attractive. Duh. On the other, I was too attractive for my own good. My physical appearance ruined friendships, relationships…Sigh.
“You guys can stop arguing over me,” I said, reaching over and patting Sebastian’s hand sympathetically.
“What?” Murphy asked in confusion, turning to face me.
“You can stop arguing over me,” I repeated. “Murph, I understand that you want me because I’m sexy, but I’m not leaving Sebastian for your ugly ass.”
“Evan, I’m straight. And I’m not ugly!” Murphy whined, pouting.
“If you’re not Sebastian, you’re automatically ugly in Evan’s eyes,” Rory said, rolling his eyes.
“Well, that’s a given. But you really are unattractive Rory. I mean, what’s with that hair cut you have? Your bangs are uneven!” I said, flicking his uneven bangs out of his face.
“You are the stereotypical gay, I hate you, and my hair is fine,” Rory said, smacking my hand away from his hair.
“Evan, I don’t know why you keep calling Rory unattractive. He’s really not,” Sebastian said, watching me in amusement.
“Oh, now you want to cheat on me with my best friend? Huh? Huh? I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE HIM FROM ME RORY. YOU ARE A SHITTY BEST FRIEND!” I cried, smacking Rory in the face.
He reached out to hit me back, but Sebastian’s long arm shot out and he gripped Rory’s wrist firmly. Rory sighed in annoyance, glaring at Sebastian.
“Control that obnoxious thing you call a boyfriend,” he growled, yanking his wrist out of Sebastian’s grip.
“I’m going to ask that you don’t hit Evan, no matter how much he deserves it. It won’t make me happy,” Sebastian said, his arm falling back to his side, a grin on his face.
“So what were you and Murphy arguing about if it didn’t have to do with me?” I asked, ignoring my pissed off best friend. Psh, he’d get over himself. He deserved to be smacked for trying to take my man from me!
“Just over who the worst substitute is,” Murphy said, rolling his eyes at me. “We had Mr. Grubbins last period. Just his name should give away the fact that he’s a fat asshole.”
“Grubbins, Grubbins, Grubbins,” I said, furrowing my brow. “Ew, that is an ugly name. But so is Rory. Too many awkwardly placed R’s.”
Rory smacked my arm, ignoring the glare that earned him from Sebastian. “Shut up Evander!” he grumbled.
“Hey now! That was mean,” I said with a pout.
“You guys are the worst best friends ever,” Sebastian said, raising an eyebrow at us.
“We’re good best friends! Rory’s just, you know, hard to deal with. His ugly name, his odd shaped face, his horrible haircuts, his shitty personality…It’s a lot to handle. I should get an award for putting up with him,” I said with a sigh.
“You’re being a drama queen again. And if anyone deserves an award for putting up with someone, it’s me. Do you know how obnoxious you get? You’re okay for, like, the first ten seconds. And then you open your mouth and it all goes downhill from there,” Rory said, glaring at me.
I opened my mouth to tell him off, but the bell exploded, making me jump. Dammit! That bell always made me jump. Did it think I was a frog or something?! Because I could assure you I wasn’t. I did a lot of things with my tongue, but catching bugs was not one of those things. And I didn’t have gross, slimy skin.
Hm…You know, now that I think about it, Rory was kind of like a frog.
“Evan, come on,” Sebastian said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my seat. “Stop sitting there smiling at the ceiling. It’s creeping me out.”
“You’re like a frog. Ugly, slimy, and disgusting,” I said, turning to Rory and smiling pleasantly. “I’m glad I made that connection!”
“Get him away from me before I strangle him,” Rory snarled at Sebastian.
Sebastian sighed and dragged me away from Rory, walking me to class and kissing me deeply. “I love you Evan. You’re going to Murphy’s house afterschool, right?” Sebastian asked, hugging me.
I nodded happily. “Yessir I am! And don’t worry Sebastian. I’ll protect you from Liam and Cecilia. I promise,” I said, patting his head.
“Thank you. I feel so safe knowing you’re there to protect me from a small child and a harmless girl,” Sebastian said.
“Good!” I said, pecking his lips before going to class.
The day crawled by until the final bell rang. I hurried to my locker and grabbed my stuff before skipping my way over to Rory’s locker.
“Hurry up!” I said impatiently as I watched him exchange his books.
Rory sighed as he zipped up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. He shut his locker and glared at me.
“Why can’t you ride there with Sebastian?” he asked in annoyance.
“Don’t question me fool!” I cried, glaring right back at him. “NOW LET’S GO, GO, GO!”
I grabbed his wrist and dragged him down the hallway and out of the school. We went down to the parking lot and got in his car.
“This is why I ride with you. Because I get to control the radio!” I said cheerfully, turning on Adam Lambert. “OH, I WANT YOUR NAKED LOVE!”
“That’s disturbing, and I wanted to listen to Alesana,” Rory said, pulling out of the parking lot and taking off towards Murphy’s house.
“Too bad! We’re listening to Adam Lambert,” I argued, turning the music up even higher and singing along with it.
We pulled into Murphy’s driveway and got out of the car together. Murphy’s mom let us in and we went down to the basement.
“Take him. Save my sanity and take him,” Rory begged, shoving me at Sebastian.
Sebastian caught me easily and pulled me into his lap as he sat on the couch. “Happily,” he said, kissing my cheek.
Rory grumbled out a string of curse words as he dropped next to Murphy on the couch. I pouted at him.
“You and your naughty words,” I said, shaking my head at him. “Your mother would be ashamed Rory Connor Kelly!”
“Evan, stop talking to me before I hurt you,” Rory groaned, rubbing his temples.
“Evan, let me distract you,” Sebastian said.
“Wh-”
My question was cut off as Sebastian’s lips met mine. Oh yea, I definitely liked Sebastian’s distractions. They were nice. Mmm.
I kissed him back. He licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting his tongue in. Our tongues rubbed together playfully, and I tangled my hands in Sebastian’s hair, pulling him closer to me. His arms wrapped around my waist.
“Ew!”
We pulled away from each other and I glared at the little menace standing at the bottom of the stairs. Liam pointed at us.
“Sebastian, you guys were kissing!” he said in disgust. “Kissing is gross!”
“I guarantee he turns out to be a male stripper,” I grumbled, letting my hands leave Sebastian’s hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued to glare at the friggin’ brat that had so rudely interrupted us.
“Evan!” Murphy cried, trying not to laugh. “Don’t say that about my little brother!”
Liam bounded over to us and pouted at me. “Move!” he commanded.
“Make me!” I challenged.
Liam gripped my arm and yanked me off of Sebastian. I crashed onto the floor and stared at Liam in disbelief as he gave me a smug grin and hopped into Sebastian’s lap.
“Hi Sebby!” he greeted brightly.
“Liam…you just threw my boyfriend…” Sebastian said, coughing into his arm to disguise a laugh. “That was rude of you.”
“Aw, it’s okay Sebby,” Liam said, waving his hand dismissively. “No one likes him anyways!”
“You friggin’ brat,” I grumbled, pushing myself into a sitting position. “I totally let you do that! I’m not weaker than a seven year old child. I swear. SEBASTIAN DON’T LISTEN TO HIS LIES. I LET HIM THROW ME SO THAT HE COULD FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF. I’M A GOOD PERSON!”
Sebastian laughed and stood up with Liam in his arms. He set Liam down and offered his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet, kissing my cheek.
“Yes, I can tell you love children and want to help boost their self esteems,” he said, smirking and hugging me.
He took my hand in his. “We’ll be right back,” he said before pulling me upstairs and down the hall to Murphy’s bedroom.
He shut the door and locked it before pulling me over to Murphy’s bed. We laid down and cuddled together.
“Sorry. I just wanted a little alone time with you without Liam nearly killing you,” Sebastian said, kissing me.
“I let him do it on purpose!” I lied, pouting.
“Right, right,” Sebastian said, fooled by my incredible lying skills.
He wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head on his chest. I had never been so happy in my entire life. Cuddling with Sebastian just made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside and holy shit I was gay.
“I love you so much Evan,” Sebastian whispered, pressing his lips to mine.
“I love you too Sebastian,” I said, the words coming honestly and easily. I knew somewhere along the way, I really had fallen in love with Sebastian. Not just his looks, either. I loved his personality. I loved how caring and sweet he was. I loved how protective he was. I loved everything about Sebastian Amsel.
“I’m so glad you kissed me that day in the classroom. They day you found out I was gay,” Sebastian said. “Otherwise we probably wouldn’t be together right now.”
“We wouldn’t?” I asked, frowning.
Sebastian shook his head. “Of course we wouldn’t. I had been lying to myself about my feelings for you. You had just been a game to me. A way to entertain myse-” He snapped his mouth shut and slapped his hand over it, his eyes widening.
I looked at him, suddenly feeling hurt. “I was just a game to you?” I whispered.
Sebastian slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth. “Evan, that’s not what I meant,” he said miserably. “I mean…you…”
“I what, Sebastian? I was entertaining? Fun to play with? So that day in the locker room…That was just you seeing how hard you could get me before you walked away?” I asked, hurt and anger rising in me.
“Yes,” he said, dropping his gaze from mine. “But I really did fall in love with you Evan! I admit it started out as just amusement, but I swear it’s not that anymore!”
He brought his eyes back to mine. I found myself starting to get sucked into those beautiful eyes. Sebastian shifted and crawled on top of me, pressing his body against mine, holding my gaze steadily.
“Evan, don’t be mad at me,” he whispered, his hot breath on my neck. “It started out as entertainment, but it ended up as real feelings. You just weren’t the kind of guy I thought I would fall for. You were loud, weird, idiotic, and obnoxious. But I love those things about you. So please don’t be mad at me.”
I shut my eyes tightly. “Stop it!” I cried, shoving Sebastian off of me. “Stop using your eyes on me like that!”
I got off the bed and headed towards the door. Sebastian grabbed my arm and tried to turn me to face him.
“Evan, wait! Please, can we talk about this?” he asked, sounding highly upset.
“There’s nothing to talk about!” I snapped, trying to yank my arm out of his grip.
“You’re being overdramatic about it Evan!” Sebastian cried.
“What am I being overdramatic about Sebastian? Huh? The fact that I was just a fucking game to you? THAT’S RIGHT, YOU MADE ME MAD ENOUGH TO USE THE NAUGHTY F-WORD!” I yelled, ripping my arm out of his grip and letting myself out of Murphy’s room.
“Evan, come back!” Sebastian said, hurrying to catch up to me.
“Leave me alone!” I said, my anger masking the pain I felt. “Just leave me alone Sebastian! I’m not a game! I’m not a source of amusement! I HAVE FEELINGS!”
I felt my emotions threatening to choke me. “Just because I say stupid things, it doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. You can’t just play with me,” I whispered, shoving him and going down to the basement.
“Evan, what happened?” Murphy asked in concern.
“Rory, take me home,” I mumbled.
Rory got up and grabbed his car keys. He came over to me and nodded. We began to walk up the stairs, ignoring Murphy as he called after us.
“Evan, please don’t leave. Please. I’m sorry,” Sebastian said, moving towards me with a deep frown on his face.
Rory shoved him away from me roughly. “I told you,” he growled.
Rory grabbed my arm and dragged me out of Murphy’s house. We got in the car and he pulled out of the driveway, taking off towards my house.
I remained silent the whole way home. Rory got out of the car and I copied him. We went into my house together.
“Evan? You’re home early,” mom said, turning around curiously. “Evan! What’s wrong?” she asked in concern, noticing my expression.
“Nothing,” I whispered, grabbing Rory’s hand and dragging him down the hallway to my bedroom before my mom could question me.
I locked my bedroom door and turned. I looked up at Rory with pleading eyes and he sighed and held out his arms.
I moved into them and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back as I felt my eyes starting to water.
“I was just a game to him Rory. I loved him, and I was just a game to him,” I choked out.
“Let’s go to bed. I’m tired,” Rory said, leading me over to my bed.
We laid down and I clutched at Rory. I didn’t want to be alone. My chest hurt so bad right now, and I just wanted someone here for me.
Rory turned the lights off and I buried my face against his shoulder, trying to hold back the flood building inside of me. I sniffed and Rory slung an arm over me.
“I really did love him Rory,” I whimpered. “The locker room…the bathroom…outside of Ty’s Grill…It was all just a game. Just seeing how I would react to him. I can’t believe I fell for it all.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I didn’t want to think about Sebastian. I didn’t want to think about anything. I didn’t want to think about the fact that I still loved him, or the fact that he had used me for shits and giggles. I just wanted this pain in my chest to go away.
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A.N.- Not the end!
So, do you guys think Evan overreacted, or do you think he had every right to be pissed at Sebastian? :p
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