TaiFeng sat at her desk and stared dazedly at her empty sword stand.

Fang Zishu was gone. Really gone this time. And Juexin was God knows where. Her hands went toward her left arm as she subconsciously rubbed where her tattoo was. A mighty dragon, huh? It was meant to be a sign of strength, of willpower. 

But all she could think of was that sickening feeling in her stomach as she plummeted further and further down, blood spraying, bones shattering, writhing about in constant agony until-No, don't think about it. It's in the past. 

She died once; she came back. Everything that happened was in another life; there was no use in dwelling on it. 

Just focus on your work. Right, she was here for a reason; she should get her head in the game. 

Fishing through her desk for talisman paper, she just sighed and ignored the throbbing pain in her back. 

She could deal with it later, or maybe she'd go to the hot springs later. That would be nice. 

She just pushed the feeling in the pit of her stomach away. As she started making talismans, her hands just moved on their own. 

Her brush moved robotically as she had just made talisman after talisman like a printing machine.

"It's already that late?" TaiFeng looked out of the window to see a darkening sky.

'When your life falls apart, the rest of the world still moves on without you.' TaiFeng looked dourly at her desk. Well, maybe she could have a quick soak in the hot springs.

TaiFeng dazedly walked along the brown gravel path; the stones were smooth and shiny and had about four shades of brown. Right, ChenHe picked it, didn't he? He said it would go against the dark plants along the edges. What did he call it, Three Shades of Autumn or something? Taifeng didn't really understand it, but he looked so happy, so she just let him do whatever he wanted. 

Foxgloves and pansies were dotted along the soil, along with a few ferns. Come to think of it, were those pansies always there? They looked new. Did they grow while she was gone? She wondered what else had changed while she was gone. 

There were a few extra lanterns dotted around the area, which looked more like they were purely for illumination than decoration. Probably Gao Song's idea. Although, she could see that somebody had moved some delphinium plant pots next to the stands. 

As she gazed at the well-arranged plant pots, she couldn't help but think that it was probably ChenHe's idea to make them look aesthetically pleasing. She could almost picture him fussing over every detail, complaining about the lack of balance and harmony, until he finally decided to drag the pots over himself.

TaiFeng had already arrived at the entrance to the hot springs. The sliding door had a patched-up hole from when YiZhang was mopping the floor and slipped and fell head-first into it. It took ten whole minutes to get him out, mainly because Gao Song and Gao Liang couldn't stop laughing, and ChenHe tried to paint a portrait of the whole thing. 

TaiFeng closed the door and messily flung her clothes over the clothes rack; bits of dry blood clung to the insides, but she could do her laundry later. 

TaiFeng gently eased herself into the hot springs, trying not to aggravate her wounds any further. 

"Ahh, this is pretty nice." She sighed. Come to think of it, she had never actually tried it; she was just always too busy. Busy, huh? She would definitely be busy for the next... Well, she'd be busy. Back when she was Jennifer, she barely did anything.

 She lazed about in her dirty little flat, watching dramas and eating discount junk food. And then, all of a sudden, she was thrust into a world that she had to carry on her shoulders. Perhaps it would have been better if she had just walked past Wei Ying that day they met. No, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she had done that. 

There was no changing what had already happened. All she could do was look to the future, and at this point, it seemed like she was pretty good at it. 

She just mulled about in the water for what felt like hours.  Her fingers were all pruney and clammy, so she figured it was time to get out. 

Her back was still aching, but at least it was a little better. 

Xichen slowly made his way to TaiFeng's office; he couldn't put it off any longer. He knew it would be awkward to ask about the blood on her hems, especially since she just confessed, but he needed to know. 

Xichen watched as TaiFeng ran a hand through her long black hair; she let out a tiny yawn.

'Cute,' he swooned, but his look quickly changed as TaiFeng pulled all her hair to the side and started combing it out.

Gash upon gash, endless criss-cross wounds that went deep into her skin, still red raw and some still dripping with blood. 

"...Qian Hong?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. 

The sound of a bottle being smashed on the floor rang out in the otherwise silent room. 

TaiFeng quickly covered up, hoping that Xichen didn't see anything.

"TaiFeng, wait!" Xichen seemingly teleported to her side, gently grasping her arms as though she might break. 

"... You saw, didn't you?" TaiFeng's upper lip trembled, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. God, she should have been more careful. Why didn't she check if she closed the door properly? 

"Where... Where were you these past three months?" Xichen said in a barely audible whisper.

TaiFeng's lips were pressed tightly together as if held by an invisible force, while her eyes avoided any contact with his gaze. The tension in the air was palpable, and silence hung heavily between them.

"I..." She trailed off; what was she supposed to say? 

" It doesn't matter." 

"I am not leaving until I get an answer." Xichen firmly said, his eyes swirling with so many emotions, too many for just one person. 

"Where were you?" 

TaiFeng clenched her fists until her nails cut into her palms. She couldn't say it, because if she eased up for one moment, she'd break, and she didn't need an eternity of glueing all the pieces back together. As a leader, nobody needed a weeping mess, so she couldn't afford to cry for a millennium and then some more.

"... Do you not trust me?" Xichen whispered, 

"Of course I trust you! I... I love you."

"I love you so much that I don't know what I'll do if I do say it. Because I know you deserve someone who isn't broken." 

"TaiFeng, you are not broken!" Xichen raised his voice. 

"You are strong and kind and have trouble with opening up to people, but you are not broken. The girl I fell in love with then is the same person in front of me now." 

"Burial Mounds." TaiFeng enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug. 

"What?" 

"I was whipped in Nightless City. Afterwards, Wen Chao threw me into the Burial Mounds, and I was stuck there for three months."

Xichen wanted nothing more than to resurrect Wen Chao so he could kill him again and again until there was nothing left but dust. Nothing in the world could be enough to compensate for everything TaiFeng had gone through. He would gladly burn the whole world if only to see the warmth returned to her. 

"It doesn't matter." Xichen finally spoke, breaking the silence. 

"W-what?" TaiFeng looked like a startled deer. 

"I said it doesn't matter. You're still the one I want to be with forever." Xichen laughed as TaiFeng looked so confused and shell-shocked,

"Um, sorry, I think I still have hot spring water in my ears, u-um." Taifeng stuttered about while Xichen just kissed her forehead. 

"Nope, I think your ears are working just fine. I know that you won't tell me everything right away, but I have the rest of my life for that. If you're willing?" 

"I'm willing!" TaiFeng blurted out, the youth and vibrancy briefly returning to her face.

 "I, uh, yes, I'm definitely more than willing. I didn't ever think that I would ever, uh, ha, well." 

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired. Lie with me?"

"Mn." TaiFeng lay her head against Xichen's chest. She could feel his beating heart and his golden core spinning around in his dantian. What was it like having one of those, she briefly wondered.

Xichen carried her over to the small cot at the side of her office and laid her down next to her. TaiFeng buried her head into the crook of Xichen's neck, inhaling that chamomile scent. Good god, she could live off of that scent.

"Lan Huan, can I ask you something?" TaiFeng whispered, hoping he'd say yes to what she was going to ask.

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"... Will you marry me?"

"..."

"Huh?"