Jhanny.

"Pangako mo yan sa akin. Secret lang natin ito, Nishey," nginitian nya ko ng pagkatamis.

"Pangako ko rin sayo ito. I'll keep this secret with you. Kailan ka babalik, Patpat."

"Hindi ko pa alam, pero pangako ko sayo babalikan kita."

May tumawag sa kanya pero hindi ko marinig ang kanyang pangalan. "Paalam, Nishey. Let's meet in the future," tinalikuran na nya ko.

Tiningnan ko lang sya habang naglakad palayo. The friend that I've met before. I forgot his name. I forgot who that is.

Tahimik.

Masikreto.

Too many secrets.

••••

Nagising ako dahil sa sobrang ingay ng aking alarm clock. Tsk! Inabot ko ang side table at mabilis na pinindot ang off button nito. I still want to sleep, but I need to wake up early.

It's just a dream.

And I've been having the same dream over and over. But this time, it doesn't look like a dream. It's more like a mere puff of memory that was forgotten a long time ago. It feels so real. Tumayo ako at at inayos ang kama, naligo, nag-toothbrush, nagsuot ng uniform, at bumaba ng hagdan ako para kumain.

Ako si Jhanny Nishey Alvarez, our family owns the biggest chain of bookstores nationwide. If you have heard about famous publishing companies, then we own that printing press. Marami kaming libro pero hindi ako ganun kahilig magbasa.

"Good morning, dad," bati ko sa kanya.

"Oh gising ka na pala. Come join me for breakfast," inihanda ni daddy yung kakainin ko.

"Asan po si manang, at yung ibang katulong?"

Napansin ko kasi na wala sila ngayon. Madalas naman silang busy sa paghahanda tuwing umaga.

"Nagday-off, si Selly na lang ang natira kaso nilakad nya si Feather."

Feather is the name of my chiuaua. Hehe! Pero bakit nga ba Feather? Dogs don't have feathers but I find it cute and unique. Umupo na ako at kumain.

"Jhanny, anak, hindi muna ako ang maghahatid sayo. Ipapahatid muna kita kay manong. May investor kasi ngayon sa bookstore. I need to entertain them."

"I understand, dad. Good luck!"

He kissed me on my cheeks before leaving the house. Dalawa ang kotse namin kaya walang problema. As usual, I ate alone without my maids. I usually eat with Manang Selly, but since she's with Feather, I am eating alone. Nakakabingi ang katahimikan.

My mommy died when I was five years old. She's with God now. I can't remember her face, but I've seen her on pictures and magazines. Naglagay ako ng sticky note at idinikit iyon sa ref.

'Manang una na po ako, ha.
- Nishey'

Pumasok ako sa kotse at pinagdrive ako ni manong papuntang Claverion. Nakamasid lang ako sa labas ng kotse habang nakasandal ang pisngi sa kamay. I sighed when we stopped at a traffic light.

"Kumusta po ang klase niyo, Ms. Nishey?" manong breaks our silence.

"Wala po masyadong ganap."

It's still the same and usual routine everyday. Napabuntong ako.

"Susunduin niyo po ba ako mamaya, manong?"

"Pwede rin po kapag hindi ka masusundo ni sir."

"I'll text you in case. I heard na may investor sila ngayon, he'll be busy."

"Masusunod po, Ms. Nishey."

Pinaandar ulit ni manong ang sasakyan nang mag-green light. I hope something good will happen to me today. Unusual things hopefully. Ipinarada ni manong ang kotse sa harap ng gate. Binuksan ko ang pinto at nagpasalamat sa kanya bago tuluyang umalis.

"Thank you, manong. I'll text you later po."

"Have a good day, Ms. Nishey."

Nishey ang tawag nila sa akin sa bahay. My mom requested our maids and drivers to call me that since panlalaki raw ang Jhanny. Our maids call me Nishey, our drivers call me Jhanny. Pero kahit ganun, natutuwa ako at hindi ako nagreklamo. Nagbago lang yun dahil may isang lalaki ang tumawag sa akin as Nishey sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon.

The kid in my dreams that I can't even remember.

"Morning," pagbati ni Jen sa akin.

"Good morning, Jen," saka ako naupo.

Gaya nang dati, nakatitig na naman sya sa playground. I don't understand why she keeps staring at the playground, but I also stared at it.

-Flashback-

I was alone in the playground, playing swing by myself... as usual. Nadapa kasi ako habang tumatakbo kaya iniyak ko na lang at napadesisyunan na magpahinga sa swing.

"A-Ang sakit, ang sakit ng sugat ko," pag-iyak ko nang makita na dumugo pa ito. Naramdaman ko na rin ang paghapdi.

"Oy, bata, ayos ka lang?" tanong niya sa akin.

A kid approached me. I tried to look at his face but I couldn't because the ray of sunlight is blocking it.

"Bakit ka may sugat? Teka, heto panyo, punasan natin yang dugo," he wipes the small blood on my knee.

Sa tuwing maiipit yung sugat, napapaaray ako dahil sa sobrang hapdi.

"Ayan, hindi ako sure kung hindi yan mahapdi pero at least nalinis," ngiti niya. "When you get home, clean your wound, okay?"

Tumango lamang ako at pinunasan ang aking luha sa mata. "Salamat."

Isang ngiti lang ang natanggap ko mula sa kanya. The ray of sunlight disappeared and I clearly saw his face. Ang gwapo-gwapo nya kapag ngumiti kaya kapag nakita ko ang ngiting iyon, maaalala ko siya.

After that incident, I realized that we go to the same kindergarten. I thought I can be friends with him for a long time but it didn't happen as I planned. His family was leaving the city.

"Aalis na kami rito, lilipat kasi kami ng bahay," malungkot niyang sambit.

"B-Babalik ka ba?"

"I want to. If ever I'm old enough then I will go back here and meet you someday. Promise me we'll meet again here," he reached his fingers to me for a pinky swear.

"Promise," and I pinky sweared him.

"Pangako mo sa akin yan. Secret lang natin ito, Nishey," he smiled.

"Pangako ko rin sayo ito. I'll keep this secret with you. Kailan ka babalik, Patpat."

"Hindi ko pa alam, pero pangako ko sayo babalikan kita."

May tumawag sa kanya pero hindi ko marinig ang kanyang pangalan. "Paalam, Nishey. Let's meet in the future," saka niya ako tinalikuran.

That was the last memory I have with that kid. Bumabalik ako sa playground kada uwian hoping that I'll see him again. Hoping that he will come and see me. Pero mukhang malabo na yun dahil sobrang tagal na rin ng panahon. It feels like I'm waiting for nothing.

-End-

I've waited too long for him, I got tired and stopped. Ayaw ko nang maghintay pa sa wala. Bumalik yung diwa ko nang makita si Yver sa playground na katapat lang nitong school.

"Ano ang ginagawa ni Yver dyan?"

"Parati syang nandyan, alam mo ba kung bakit?" malamig na tanong ni Jen.

"Not a clue, Jen." I sighed.

Nakatitig ulit siya roon. Ano kayang iniisip ni Jen? Sa lahat ng taong may sikreto, siya lang ata ang hindi ko mabasa.

"J-Jen, anong naaalala mo dyan sa playground?"

"A promise..." bulong nya. "Of two persons."

"Pangako?"

"Nangako ka na ba minsan, Jhanny?"

"Oo. Noon." I slumped my face on the desk.

"Don't tell anyone about this."

Pasuspense naman tong si JEN eh!

"O-Oo. Ano ba yun?" nilapit ko ang tenga ko sa kanya.

"I promised a boy when I was a kid. He's my first love and I'm still trying to find him."

"What!" tinakpan ko kaagad ang bibig ko. "May first crush ka?"

"I do but... I can't remember. Promised me you won't tell anyone, Nishey," she stared at my soul saka ibinalik ang tingin niya sa labas.

She just called me Nishey! Magtatanong pa sana ako pero wala na siya sa mood makipag-usap.

"I promised." I whispered.

Naaalala ko ulit ang panaginip ko. Sino ba kasi ang batang yun? I decided to go at the garden, magpapahangin lang. I was walking when I tripped on a rock. Tanginaaa, buti walang tao dahil nakakahiya! Nadapa ako!

"Ouch!"

Naiiyak ako nang makita ang sugat sa tuhod ko. Napakahapdi. Ang sakit talaga. Umupo ako sa bench saka ko pinunasan ang dugo.

"Tsk. Ang hapdi." Naiyak nako.

I saw someone approaching me, looking at my knee. "What happened to your knee?"

"I-I tripped."

He sighed at rubbed his nape. "Ang tanga mo rin."

Grabe naman ito! Ako yung nadapa, sya pa itong galit.

"Shut up. You're not helping."

Lumapit sya sakin at kumuha ng malinis at maputing panyo.

"A-Anong gagawin mo?"

"Pupunasan ko lang yung dugo," aniya.

Habang ginagawa nya yun, hindi ko maiwasang mapaaray dahil sa hapdi at sakit. Ang sakit palang madapa. Haha! Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya habang ginagawa ang paggagamot when I remember the guy who helped me. They have the same way of treating wounds. Binitawan nya agad ang tuhod ko pagkatapos.

"We need to go to the clinic. Kailangan malinis ng maayos yang sugat mo."

"But it stings when I walk!"

"Kailangan mo pa ba ng saklay, ha? Tsk!" inis siyang lumuhod at nag-offer ng piggyback ride. "Come on. I'm never doing this again."

I never knew that he can be a gentleman.

Dugdug dugdug.

"I'm heavy," nasabi ko pa.

"We don't have time for that. Hop on."

I pursed my lips and sighed. Kumalma ka, Jhanny. It's just him. I hopped on his back, muntikan na siyang mawalan ng balanse but he managed to carry me.

"Nakakahiya..." saka ko sinubsob ang mukha ko sa kanyang likuran.

Pinagtinginan kami ng ibang estudyante habang papuntang klinik. He smells so manly. Ano kaya ang perfume nito?

"Stop sniffing me," he grins. "Alam kong mabango ako."

"Hindi ka mabango! Kapal muks."

I was caught off guard when he looks at me kaya't naglapit ang mga mukha namin. It took me a minute to break eye contact. Baka makita niya pa na namumula ako.

Binungad kami ni Ms. Lere, ang maalagain at mabait naming school nurse, nang makarating kami sa clinic.

"Jhanny, what happened?" she asked.

Kilala kami ni Ms. Lere, we've been in her club since first year. She's a club moderator.

"N-Nadapa lang po, miss."

Napatingin sya kay Mike na tumulong sakin. Mali ang iniisip niya.

"I'll wait outside, Nishey," aniya.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang marinig yun. Tell me I heard it right! No one calls me Nishey randomly.

"What did you call me?"

"Nishey," he replies. "Isn't that your name?"

Napalunok ako at tumango. "Thank you, Michael. Mauna ka na sa classroom."

"I'll wait outside just to make sure." Lumabas siya at nagpaalam kay miss.

"Linisin ko muna ang sugat mo, Jhanny ha."

"Opo."

Kumuha sya ng first aid kit sa cabinet saka cotton balls at bumalik sakin.

"Sino ba yung lalaki kanina? Boyfriend mo ba yun? Ang gwapo naman," nilagyan niya ng betadine ang sugat ko.

"No! Hindi po- aray!"

"Tiisin mo. Bakit ka ba kasi nadapa?"

"Tanga kasi ako, miss."

Naglagay siya ng band aid bago tumayo. "Be careful next time, okay? Mabato sa ground saka magflats ka na lang if needed. Nakaheels ka pala," paalala nya.

"Thank you po."

Students mostly wear heels. It's compulsory. But Jen is the only girl I know na hindi alam ang salitang heels. Nagpaalam ako kay miss at lumabas ng clinic. Paika-ika akong naglakad dahil sa mahapdi kong tuhod.

I saw him sitting at one of the benches, waiting. Nakatingin lang siya sa malayo nang mapansin na lumabas ako.

"You did wait," utas ko.

"I told you I'll wait," natingin siya sa tuhod ko. "Is it better?"

"Um, oo. Thank you talaga, Michael."

"No problem."

Sabay kaming naglakad pabalik sa classrooms namin. Everyone's staring because I look like a limp.

"Mabait ka naman pala," sabi ko bigla.

"Shut up."

Natawa ako dahil dun at napatitig sa kanya. I mean it tho.

-----