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➳ part four // experiencing

The next day flew by my head. Completely.

The only things that stuck with me was the fact that Vanessa was where she always was at the earliest hours of the day: by the fence with a book in her lap. Aside from that, all day, Vanessa and I gave each other knowing glances whenever we made eye contact.

She hadn't spoke to me all day and I didn't attempt to. She was the bold one. If she wanted to talk to me, wouldn't she just say something?

I hadn't told my parents about our conversations. Not that I wanted to keep it secretive, they just didn't need to know. On top of that, I wouldn't know how they'd react to me spending time with a girl on family vacation.

However, yesterday Nessa did say that she would talk to me, or interact with me in some way today, and I haven't got much of that yet.

Around 11 o'clock in the late evening, I heard a light tapping on my window. I knew what it was, and I didn't even let her know I heard it. I simply walked out of the camper, making sure not to disturb my parents.

I made my way around to her lot to see that, like me, Vanessa was still in her clothes from earlier today. "Come on," she said. Without any further explanation, she began walking away, down the road of the campsite.

I quickly jogged forward to catch up to her, confusion running through my mind. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see, Ash."

"Are we leaving the campsite?"

"No."

She looked down at the ground, almost unsure of her own response.

"Well kind of," she said, biting her lip. I couldn't help but smile. I rarely got to see her nervous, and when I did, it was one of the cutest things I'd ever let myself see.

The walk was pretty silent, though she'd occasionally walk into me to make me laugh, claiming that the silence was 'too serious' for her to handle. I consistently rolled my eyes as a response, shoving my hands in my jean pockets more and more with every nudge.

Sooner rather than later, I saw where we were headed to. It was one of many boating docks here at the campsite. "You have a boat?" I asked, completely unknowing. "No, you idiot. We're going to steal one," Vanessa said in a tone that was almost too serious to be taken seriously. "Not funny," I mumbled, trying to hide my obvious amusement.

I saw Vanessa pull a set of keys out from her pocket and walk over to a boat, which was obviously the one her dad owned. "Are we even allowed to do this while everyone's asleep?" I asked, a bit of worry lacing my words. She chuckled quietly.

"If they wake up, tough shit. They'll sleep again. Plus, this thing is only loud once it starts up. It runs super smoothly on the water," she said, hopping in the boat effortlessly.

She turned around and looked at me, waving me over, signaling for me to get in. I chuckled nervously as I stepped in the boat. "Can you even drive this thing?" I asked, more or less to get on her nerves. As expected, she scoffed.

"Of course I can. Even if I couldn't, it'd just be more fun, now wouldn't it?" she asked, winking at me before starting up the boat.

She was right, though. It only rumbled for a few seconds before the sound disappeared in the air, only leaving a soft purr behind it.

"Nice," I mumbled as Vanessa began to drive the boat forward onto the lake.

It was very entertaining to go out and drive by the campsite, seeing what people do with their lots. Certain people go all out with the lights and outdoor furniture, and some of it seems plain unnecessary to me.

Eventually, Vanessa rode away from the edge of the campsite, heading more towards the open water.

I have to admit, this whole thing was new to me and it took me a few minutes to get comfortable. I knew Vanessa wouldn't go and do something terribly dangerous, though...would she?

And that's the crazy thing about her. She always keeps me on edge and second guessing. I never know what she's going to do next.

I really wasn't expecting it when she stopped the boat, either, but she did.

Before I could question her actions, she pointed towards the sky. "Just look," she said. I followed her gaze and my eyes met the sky. My jaw dropped in an instant. The sky was beautifully lit up with stars. I rarely ever see the stars. I used to live in the city, and the street lights make stargazing impossible.

"Do you ever worry about anything, Ash?" Vanessa randomly asked. Sure, the question itself was random, but her asking a question like that certainly wasn't. This late in the game, I picked up on the fact that Vanessa's just like this. This is her. This is who she is and what she acts like. She asks what's on her mind, and she doesn't really think about the outcome. I love her open-mindedness.

I tore my eyes away from the sky to look her in the eyes. "Doesn't everyone?" I asked, instead of giving her the answer she probably wanted. She chuckled and looked down. "I guess you're right," she said.

It was quiet for a few seconds before I broke the ice, for a change. "Why do you drink, Vanessa?" I asked. She didn't look up at me, but I could tell the answer took her by surprise. Her body language changed and she almost seemed to be more tense.

"I just...I want to. I like the taste of some drinks. Not all, though. My mom lets me drink on some holidays. The Fourth of July, for example, or New Years. Like I said, I really don't do it often. When I find a drink, though, I don't really think twice about trying it," she explained, pausing every here and then. I nodded.

"What do you worry about?" she asked me, returning back to her original question to me. I shrugged a bit, looking up at the sky once more.

"Politics. The music industry. Family troubles. Aliens. The zombie apocalypse," I listed, making Vanessa laugh, and I mean, really laugh. It was the first time I had ever heard her really laugh, and it made me happy. It also made me laugh with her. She has really, really contagious laughter.

"Well, those first few things seem pretty legitimate," she said, smiling at me. I nodded, sucking my lips in.

"Why did you bring me out here? Y'know, other than the fact that this is gorgeous," I said, letting out a happy sigh.

"I've done this before when I've been out camping. It always looked so beautiful and it brings me so much peace and tranquility. It takes me away from stress. It frees me of my worries," she said, referencing her earlier questions.

I was almost shocked at her long explanation, feeling a sense of satisfaction and tranquility, myself.

"Overall," she began again. "I guess I just really wanted someone to experience it with." I couldn't help but let my smile grow bigger, allowing my head to fall and look at my feet. "Thank you, Ness. I love this, truly," I said honestly.

"You're welcome," she replied, and though I wasn't looking at her, I could almost hear her smile.

We sat there in a peaceful silence a while longer, looking at the stars and examining the fresh, blue water around us.

"What do you fear?" she said, causing me to jump in surprise. She giggled. "Did I take you out of dreamland?"

"Fucking kind of," I mumbled, holding my hand over my chest, making her full out laugh.

Once my heartbeat returned to its normal pace, I answered her.

"Failure, I guess. Not being good enough," I simply stated, looking to the other side of me, seeing nothing but water and the moonlight's reflection off of it. "You?" I asked, still not meeting her gaze.

"Drowning."

My head snapped at her.

"Drowning? Really? You drove us out into the middle of a lake and you say you fear drowning?" I asked over dramatically. She nodded, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "Yep."

I shook my head smiling at the boat's floorboards. "I don't know what to make of you, Vanessa Williams," I mumbled.

"I know. No one ever does," she said. She almost sounded disappointed when she said it, which made my smile turn into a frown. "But, unlike them," she started again. I felt her hand reach mine. She slid her fingers, which seemed surprisingly small, into mine, intertwining them.

"you like the fact that you don't know me. And I can tell."

"How's that?"

"You don't question me much. You let me be myself and you don't try to figure it out. You just except the fact that it's me. Also, you didn't pull your hand away, and you're blushing right now."

And goddammit, she was right.

"Where does your dad go all the time," I ask, looking down at our hands. I heard her sigh, making me look her in the eyes. "Home. Sometimes, anyways. He misses the TV," she said, which I found entertaining. Not going to lie.

"At night, though, sometimes he goes out with his friends to drink. I can tell. It's a bad habit of his and I know he's trying to crack it, but it's hard, you know?" she asked and I nodded. "It's why my mom left. It became too much for her, but I mean, I don't blame her. I probably would have left him, too, especially if I was as independent as she is," she ranted on, shocking me.

I wouldn't expect her to open up to me like this. Despite the fact that we are in the middle of the lake, holding hands, looking at the stars together, I still wouldn't have ever thought that she'd be this open. No one else I've ever met would have been.

"I'm sorry, Ness."

"Don't be. I live."

She smiled up at me. Suddenly, she began to laugh, making me furrow my eyebrows. I couldn't help but hide my smile, though. "Your hair looks so dumb right now," she said, making me roll my eyes.

Vanessa pulled her hand out of mine and turned the key in the ignition of the boat. "How about we head back and you can fix that. Or sleep. Whatever floats your boat. No pun intended," she said. I chuckled softly and nodded.

"Yeah, sure. Let's go back."

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