If I could shoot myself right now, I would.

After all these years, eight to be exact but it's not like I'm counting or anything, I'm still obsessing over Colton. Every move, every thought, every breath – I need to know about it. I'm worse than a fangirl.

It's not like I already didn't know it, but I'm declaring my brain my biggest enemy. Colton, you've officially been dethroned.

However, regardless of my mini accomplishment against Colton, it's still all his fault which I guess means he's in charge of my new enemy and I lose. Again. As per. As always. I really need to stop overthinking.

But it's my disease. Re-informing myself of everything that has ever gone on including or excluding Colton is how I function. Taking control of the wheel, I steer myself into a self-depreciating, downward spiral. One that magically appears every time I see him. It's as easy as bada-bing bada-bong, make all common sense gone.

Looking up, I'm in the bathroom. At some point during my trance, my feet must have guided me here. Breathing in deeply, I count to three before allowing myself to deflate gradually.

I wring my hand, dancing a little and trying to free myself of the tension. Of course, it doesn't work, so changing tactics I step to the sink, turning on the faucet. The cold water flows freely, small splashes escaping the porcelain sink. Again, I inhale deeply, letting my hands scoop the water in an upward motion. Small trickles of water start from my brow and meet at my chin, eventually landing in the sink.

I look up into the mirror and frown. Hazel eyes stare back at me, holding a story of a thousand sorrows. Brown hair lays dangling around shoulders limply, all energy leaving the strands. The odd freckles disappear and their value also does. Snap out of it. Don't do this.

Two growing blurs walk towards me in the mirror. Shaking my head, I straighten my posture, twisting to reposition myself. "Hey."

  "Why did you leave after the ceremony?" Brooklynn asks.

"I needed space to think."

"Lexi, no offence or anything, but going away to think is probably the stupidest thing you've ever done."

"Brooke!"

"No, it's okay Ashley, she's right. I shouldn't give my thoughts time to grow, it only makes them worse." I sigh.

"What's bothering you?"

"Everything and nothing at the same time."

"Colton?" Brooklynn urges.

"Yes and no."

"Either you tell us or you don't. I'm not about to stand here and force you to walk the plank if you don't want to." Who the heck would want to walk a plank, anyway?

"It's just something Gianna said about one of the prizes, it struck a chord."

Ashlynn's eyes crinkle and her brow furrows. "You mean the prize about coming to camp free next year?"

"But that prize has been same all these years, Colton always won it."

"Exactly." Their eyes flash with understanding, piecing the rest together.

"So, you're wondering why he won every year?

"No. I'm wondering why he had to win every year."

"Which would mean you think he had an ulterior motive back then about why he had to come back." Ashlynn continues.

I nod, allowing her words to settle over them.

"You've come up with two ideas, haven't you? Why he might financially need the prize or if he wanted to win each year to come back and torture you again. The latter appearing as the better answer because Colton never seemed to be without. So, now you've overthought yourself into an oblivion. Right?"

"Pretty much." Brooklynn had got it spot on.

"So, if that's the case. Then you need to get revenge. That boy caused you five years of pain and side effects, even after he vanished that night. Not once did he take responsibility for what he did."

"Brooke, no! He's not even done anything to her yet. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Lexi needs to move on, not drown in her past again." Ashlynn's chides.

"There is no way he's changed. Did you not see the way he stared at her earlier before walking past?"

"I did, actually. And do you know what I saw? Some underlying regret."

"Underlying because determination was ruling."

"Determined to–"

"Stop! Please." I shout over their squabble.

"But–"

"No! Brooklynn he's not even done anything yet. I can't go back to where I was. I can't go back to being a shell of myself. I can't go back to being the little girl silenced in her own body, too scared to speak. No, I won't." I slam my hands on the sink.

Ashlynn moves closer to me, reaching her hand out to rub my shoulder. "Look, I know I'm stronger now. What happened to Peyton that night fed my strength. I was determined not to let her down after everything. But I don't want to start all of that again. Look where it led to, it was a disaster!"

"You're right, Lexi. But mark my words Colton's not going to have an easy summer if I have anything to do about it." Brooklynn grumbles, quirking a small smile.

"I know that, this is you we're talking about." I chuckle. "And just know that if he does try anything, I'll be on him like Donkey Kong. I mean look at these muscles, they'll surely make him quake in his boots!" They laugh at my tensing spaghetti arms that couldn't hurt a fly.

"Oh, shut up! Wonder woman has nothing on me!" Their bodies vibrate violently, laughing till tears are pouring out of their eyes making me pout. "I know I was joking, but it's not that unbelievable, is it?"

"Oh no, Lexi, you're really macho, tough and scary. In fact, I think you grow a moustache every time you get angry." Brooklynn smirks.

"I hate you."

"We're just joking, physically you've got about as much strength as Flat Stanley but mentally you've got a flame inside you," Ashlynn says, smiling.

"Oi–"

"Get over it. I've seen stronger frogs. But anyway, that's not why we came to find you. We've got your rota." Brooklynn hands me over a sheet of paper whilst I'm in the middle of acting indignant.

"You've got group Vivimus, Brooklnn has Nos fruis and I have Magna Sumus. You're also partnered up with Braden for this week." I skim the freshly printed-paper and see she's right.

"Oh, I've got our old group?"

"Yeah, they're a brand-new set of campers. I've got annoying fifteen-year olds, though. How fun." Sarcasm lingers thickly in Brooklynn's tone.

"Poor Brookie-poo!" Ashlynn giggles. "Come on, let's go meet our groups!"

Later that afternoon, I stand in front of six, little campers. "Hello girls and welcome to Camp Albanica! Your group name is Vivimus, the best group there is! I should know, it was my group when I came here!" I beam at the young girls standing in front of me, trying to encourage a reaction out of them.

The six girls all react differently. One very daring child gives me grin back while another stifles a giggle. One girl edges away from me, moving out of her place in the circle. Great, I scared her off.

I turn down the voltage on my beam to a grin. Okay, let's try this again.

"Do any of you know what language the word 'Albanica' comes from?" All eyes are on the floor, no one wanting to be the first one to speak.

"French?" the daring grinner asks.

"No but good guess!" I laugh, shaking my head.

"Spanish."

"English!"

"Chinese?"

"All very good guesses but no. Would you like to know?"

"Yes!" Five bodies lean slightly towards me.

"What about you Briella, are you not interested to find out?" I look at the little girl with pigtails and tiny glasses who has yet to say anything. The most I've been getting from her is a nod of the head. Hmm, I'll break you.

Deciding they've probably ran out of patience, I tell them, "It's Latin! Do any of you think you know what it means?" Smiling warmly at the girls, I try to encourage them.

"To have fun!"

"To... play?"

"To learn."

"An adventure?"

"To eat loads and loads of sweets!"

I could only laugh at their suggestions.

"Is... is it because there are lots of things to do here..." a small voice trails off. I broke her.

"Why Briella, you are right! 'Albanica' means opportunities!" I smile at her proudly, reminded of myself. "See what happens when you join in? You find out you're the smartest here!" The other girls start to shout in protest of my teasing while Briella giggles quietly.

"Alright, alright, you're all incredibly smart! Happy now?" I think I'm going to like these girls.

"Alexis, can we have a dance party to High School Musical's songs?" One of the girls asks, which results in twelve eyes staring pleadingly at me.

"Well... sure." Searching on my phone for the playlist, I put it on, trying not to cringe. High School Musical was my jam back in the days.

"I want fabulousness!" I sing with the girls, busting out my best moves. Some songs are just annoyingly addicting.

A laugh escaping, I watch some of the girls who are grabbing brushes from their bags and holding them up to their mouths while singing. One girl is doing an impressive sprinkler, another the shuffle, one just doing the catwalk and one jumping from bed to bed. I'm going to ignore that for now, please don't fall.

When the verse lulls for a dramatic build up, I run and slide to a stop just in time for when it starts again. I dance around the girls, weaving in and out, twirling and spinning them. As the music comes to an end, I flop onto the floor, all energy disappearing.

Faint slapping noises start to become louder and I pick my head up from the floor, confused. The noise only gets gaudier and I listen silently trying to navigate the sound.

"Who's that?" Briella whispers tugging at my sleeve.

I follow the direction her eyes are pointing to which is the large bay window that looks out onto camp. My body flies back onto the floor. The one and only Colton Moreno had just witnessed my embarrassing dance show. Crap.

After holding my eyes in embarrassment for a minute I decide it's time to face the music. Standing up, I peel my body off the floor before turning off the music.

Beating erratically, my heart thumps, growing with every step till I'm at the door and opening it. "Um... can I help you?"

"No."

"Uh, okay?" Frowning, I watch him scratching his neck. A slight blush creeps up it.

"Look, I'm here to say sorry?"

"It sounds like you're asking a question."

"Yeah, well believe me or don't, I'm off," he mutters, turning and walking down the cabin steps. I watch him walk away, stunned.

Unbelieving the encounter, I continue to watch his ridiculously, dark, brown hair, his towering figure and his broad back slowly become a silhouette and then he's gone.

I honestly can't think of a better time than any for an Agony Aunt to magically appear.

I'm still staring at the spot where Colton once was when Edna disrupts my vision. Great.

"What do you want, Edna? I'm seriously not in the mood."

She smirks, a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, I know exactly what kind of mood you're in because I just saw who you were speaking to."

I sigh, of all damn days. "Get lost, Edna."

"Oh, the kitten wants to play tiger now does she? Well, you're playing with the big dogs now then and one of them just bit you."

"Jesus Edna, can you not just speak like a normal person for once? Am I dog or a cat?" Rubbing my face, I inhale deeply.

"Okay, I'll dumb it down for you. You're playing with fire and fire burns. Get ready to scorch till you're a skelton of what you are. Precisely? Get ready to morph back into your weak, timid mouse that we know so well." She cackles.

"First of all, how ironic considering you're tiny. Second of all? Get the hell out of my face." I slam the door shut.

HELLO!

back as scheduled for a Friday update! this was slightly longer than usual so i do hope you enjoy and its not too long!

{I didn't want to delete the bit below as it was a highlight for me}

this has been an extremely good week for me on wattpad!

i started a competition called Eventual  Elites: Take to the Stage! Over at EventaulElites ! the overwhelming response has just shocked me to the core! it's great!!

i reached 100 followers today!

1k reads today as well and I only have 3 chapters up!!

it's just been great!! I thank you all so much!

also people started the comment story so that was fun!

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NEW:

comment of the last chapter: goes to AuthourX for her comment - 'Oh no he didn't SLAP HIS SMUG MUG ITS LIKE THE MALE REGINA GEORGE' - it just cracked me up!

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Qotc: Fave food?
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thankyou!! see you soon!

xoxo,

jessie.