I open my eyes. My surroundings not quite so clear yet, I squint at what looks like the games field.

Oh. Oh, no.

In the whirlwind of the years I'd forgotten a few, crucial pieces of information. Colton's mom and brother left him. His dad's an abusive drunk. He has a secret. A secret that I didn't know but desperately wanted to find out.

Forgetting had been my bliss but now that I'm painfully aware of that night once again, I'm unsure how to react. We're all a result of our environment when it comes down to it. Maybe he didn't choose to become so volatile, maybe it was learnt through circumstance? But he still had a choice. You always have a choice.

And Peyton's right, I should've stood up for myself sooner and I'm glad I now have, but honestly? I can't be bothered scheming anymore, it's just not me. I'm strong in my own way and I don't care what anyone else thinks, I don't need anyone to validate me, so why should I continue to stress about it? It's about time I handled this my way and not simply avoid the issue. And really, my prank was crap anyway, it was just a pathetic excuse to let loose some steam and get the girls off my back; two birds killed with one stone.

I can't predict how Colton will respond to this fresh style but he can do what he wants, I couldn't care less. A small (stupid) part of me does care about him though. No matter how mean, he didn't deserve his home life — no one did. At the end of the day, it was easier to forget what Peyton had said, even if it was true or not, it made him human and ultimately harder to hate. It was annoying and just like the rest of that night, I tried to blank it but it and now it had come back to bite me in the ass.

Basically, I'm shook.

"Alexis!" I snap my eyes in the direction of the shout to see Brooklynn and Edna on the field, a bag of soccer balls beside them.

Children stand across from them in red and blue bibs although for the most part their just covered in dirt from a few tumbles. Each team seems to have gone for a different hairstyle, the french braid versus the pony tail. I dubbed the pony tails the winners: less mucky with hairstyles intact.

Brooklynn gives the word and the children run to the changing rooms located beside the dirt patch which is really just a hut with a fancy sign. She then beckons me and I follow suit.

"Hey," I say once I've reached them.

Brooklynn narrows her eyes. "Why aren't you with the rest of your campers fixing up your cabin?"

"I was."

"But now you're not."

"Well done Captain Obvious."

"You're being snarky."

"I learnt from the best."

"What are you trying to sa—"

"Alright, we're playing soccer not ping-pong, so save it for later," Edna interjects.

I send her a grateful smile.

"Fine." Brooklynn huffs. "Just give me one clue, has Colton got anything to do about it?"

"No." It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the full truth.

"Braden?"

Okay, now that's something I'm willing to get some advice on.

"Maybe?" Can't come on too strong, no one likes over spiced food.

... why are my metaphors always about food?

"So that's a yes. What's he done now?" Edna asks regaining my attention.

"Well for one, apparently my legs are always open and two, he wont tell me why he's always running after Colton like a headless chicken."

"Come again?" Brooklynn tilts her head slightly.

"I glanced at Tanner and Colton and now I'm an unconfirmed item with both of them. And the latter is self-explanatory."

"Sounds like he's just jealous."

I blink at Edna.

"Oh c'mon, it's obvious to everyone there's something going on between the two of you. Plus he's always been oddly protective of the girls he's liked. First Brooklynn, now you, old habits die hard." She shrugs.

"He doesn't like me."

She makes a face. "And I don't like using figure's of speech."

I frown. "Guys with crushes don't act like... well dicks."

"Guys think with their 'little me's', so uh, yeah, they do."

"Still doesn't explain why he won't tell me anything about Colton."

"It's not his story to tell." I make a move to interrupt her but she cuts me off. "Yes, I know, it's frustrating but life's frustrating. Build a bridge, get over it and wait for Colton to tell you."

"But—"

"Nothing. Anyway, even if he could, Braden probably wouldn't tell you, it keeps you at arms length from Colton."

"Him too," I grumble.

"Ah, but that's why women are smarter." She winks.

Brooklynn coughs and it's only then I realise she's been strangely distant from this conversation. She seems to be standing sulking to the side and if I didn't know her better, I'd think she's glaring at me. But she's got no reason to be mad, so I'm probably overthinking things. I think?

I laugh, returning my attention to Edna. "Now that's something I can agree with."

"Of course you can, I'm the smart one out of the three of us."

"Hey!" Brooklyn and I chorus.

"It's true." We can't argue with that so we send a daggers Edna's way, laughing.

"Whatever, I should probably get back now, I don't think I trust Braden and a saw and well, Tanner's too goofy to be responsible." I say after the chuckling dies down.

Edna mouth gapes. "Wait, you actually left them two in charge?"

"Um... yes?"

"What are still doing here? Go, before you're sleeping back in a tent tonight!"

Brooklynn rolls her eyes. "For someone so smart, you sure are dramatic Edna. See you later Lexi."

"For someone with so much to say, you sure were awfully quiet a minute ago." So that didn't go unnoticed by Edna either then.

"I had nothing to say."

"You were pestering me about the subject for like two minutes and then you went mute. You can't have lost your tongue that quickly?" I ask.

"But I did."

"Okay, Brooklynn, whatever." I sigh. "See you later."

I give them a small wave, then start on the trail back to the cabins. I duck under a few green branches, the leaves creating a delicate arch. My mind runs to Brooklynn's absurd behaviour but I shake my head. There's too many puzzles in my life to start putting all of them together. But she's successfully distracted me from earlier in doing so, so I can't really say anything.

If only my life was simple.

some of you said you liked this double update thingy, is this a general consensus bcs im happy to update wednesday and friday if its wanted?

____
qotc: pineapples on pizza— yes or no?

___
i do have more fan art to post, my laptops just being a royal douche, ughh! but yes, you know the drill, i won hate you if you want to send any to [email protected]!the supports really been spurring me on to update— so ty!
___

thanks for reading!
xox,
jessie.