"Alexis... Alexis... Alexis..." A never-ending chant echoes around the blank walls of my mind.

The lashes that hold the key to the world, and my ticket out of my subconscious, flicker in excitement until finally the gate unseals. My eyes fly in an out of focus, blinking and re-adjusting to their new painting that is finally revealed.

Trees. Trees sway in the background.

Hills. Hills decorate their canvas.

Camp Albanica. Counselling. Colton.

I look around, a frown of bewilderment etching onto my face. Eyes poke at me from every direction attached to faces that belong to campers. A significantly larger body kneels at my side, his face is coated with an unfamiliar emotion. Both his arms are outstretched, one curls around my back, the other latching tightly onto my knee. An unwelcome fire sets off everywhere he touches.

This is too much. It's too much.

"Are you okay, Alexis?" he asks.

The world spins and twirls, performing an exquisite dance. Nothing makes sense.

"I-I... I-I, I need to go." I'm up on my feet in a flash, moving faster than any Black Friday shopper you'll ever meet.

I run. And I run.

My feet choose their own path leaving me out of the loop; I don't know where I'm going.

Until, I'm there. Where this whole mess started. Where he... where Peyton...

Don't go there. Don't do it Alexis.

Fear bubbles out of me in shapes of all kinds, my hand draws to my head, pulling at my forehead. I try to shake the overwhelming feeling that's crawling over my body but to no avail. Like spiders spinning their webs, it gets bigger and bigger with each second. Sweat trails down my neck, moving to the rhythm of my erratic pulse. Everywhere tingles, screams in agony, fights rationality.

I open my mouth and let my chords pierce the air. A melody of torment meeting the chorus of sorrow.

"Fuck!"

Anxiety sucks major balls.

I need to let this go. Why can't I let it go? Why do I let Anxiety stomp all over me? I do so well and then BAM, Anxiety comes and pops my bubble.

I'm living but when is it my turn to be alive?

"Arghhhh!" I throw my hands in to the air.

I walk over to the edge of the cliff, my toes hanging over the ledge. Tonight, I play with fear.

Slowly, I outstretch one of my legs, my body turning till I place my foot in front of the other. Baby step after baby step, I tip-toe along the length of the cliff, each step with a deliberate dangle over the edge. Teetering on the line of the living and the dead is my much-needed energy drink. All I feel now is adrenalin. And for a moment, I'm normal.

The sky gets darker, the bottomless cavern starting to prepare for its next prey. Shadows come out from where they hide and march in circles of harsh forms. Rocks that form the cavern seem to enlarge, their jagged edges seeming to extend, cutting through the air like kniv–

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you seriously that idiotic? Do you want to repeat the events of that night?" a voice shouts through the crisp air taking me by surprise.

I wobble sideways, struggling to regain my balance. My heart enters my throat and I close my eyes. Not again.

But then there is an arm tugging me back to safety. A face full of anger but eyes full of fright, protecting me.

"Edna..." I whisper.

She shakes her head. "You can't come here. Just, please, don't come here."

I stare at her in shock. She stares back, vulnerability washing over her face.

The wind wraps around us in a quiet type of shock. But then something in her eyes changes. Her fear turns to rage.

"I mean honestly, sometimes I wonder if Peyton did the right thing that night. You take everything for granted without a care in the world." She pauses, breathing deeply. "Birds have wings to fly away from danger. Be a bird. For god's sake, be a bird!"

I blink.

"Are you in there?" She waves a hand in front of my face, her nose scrunching behind her glasses.

I whack her hand away. "Go away Edna."

"No."

"Well just tell me what you want then and stop acting like a damn Magic-8-Ball."

"Of course, you'd be acting this way. Of course, all your dim-witted friends would be acting this way too. But hey-ho you group together and form a band of unity. You support each other, care for each other and leave me like a chipmunk." she shouts, arms flapping wildly.

I frown. "What are you talking about?"

"Figures I'd have to dumb it down for you. Chipmunks are abandoned by their mom in their early life and are left to fend for themselves. You left me to fend for myself."

"I don't understand how I left you alone? You don't like me Edna. Stop talking in circles."

"I was there too! I was there too that night!" she cries.

She clutches her chest tightly as if shielding herself from danger. The energy seeps out of her, leaving a drained skeleton behind.

I stare at her for a moment in thought. That night took a lot out of all involved, we left camp only a week into it and no one knew if we could return the next year. Edna handled it by herself, but she always handled everything by herself. I did try to talk to her but she'd always trudge away in her plaid cut jacket and skirt combo. A stick permanently lodged up her backside too, mind you.

But the facts remain the same. She was hurting too and no one gave her a shoulder to cry on.

"Edna..." I reach out for her. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

She nods, snatching her arm back. "Well it doesn't matter anyway. Just stay away from here."

And then she's gone, leaving behind only a trail of far too strong perfume and scepticism for me to follow back to camp. Adding another confusing person to add to my list.

Was everyone in this camp drinking red-bull for breakfast?

I close my eyes, knowing what I have to do. In the words of Troy Bolton, I have to 'work this out'.

No more weak Alexis. She can get a one-way ticket to Brooklynn's wrath when someone deletes her pre-recorded shows. No. It's time to shake this off. And I think I know just how to do so.

Step One: To show Colton just exactly what he missed when he was gone.

The revolution of me.

okay so you might be saying to yourself currently, hey this isnt a friday but thats bcs i cant update tomorrow so i thought i'd just update earlier rather than later!

also i know the last few chapters have been a little heavy but remember after a flashback it probably will be bcs in case some of you haven't worked out she suffers from pstd from the night.

i promise the next few chapters are lighter and more funny with a very funny prank scene appearing in the next chapter... oops spoiler alert haha!

anyway thanks for sticking with my annoying ass (:
_____

Qotc: Should I continue with this book? Sometimes I feel its just really bad? Idk maybe its just bcs mother nature is coming over for tea, but I just feel like I suck at writing.
_____

Now these stunning covers are by Ellehsornna, a huge, huge thanks for taking the time to not only make one beauty but two! <33

Rmbr you can send any fan art to: [email protected] — if you'd like to make camp alabanica some! (:

_____
love you all,
xox,
jessie.

P.s. ITS NEARLY CHRISTMAS!!!!