Ian's pov

I sit by the window where the sunlight illuminates the room and hold the diary close to my heart and  take a sniff, which faintly smells like my mother.
I flip through the pages and find some flowers pressed between them
My eyes catches a page with lots of heart drawn and picture my mom in her early twenties writing this with excitement and a giddy smile .
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[23  february 1993 ]
I found my mate after 23 years of existence .I was beginning to become envious of all my friends who found their mates long ago. I saw him near the barren lands . I was terrified at first . He had mud stains on his face and clothes.He have shoulder length hair. He  looked shabby and starved with his clothes torn in various places and his cheek bones showing .
But if you ask me I would say he is the most beautiful man  .
Everyone looks handsome when seen from the lens of love .
He is my mate . So love is certain , unfiltered ,immediate .
But he turned around and ran with a ferocity and after I stared the spot long after he was gone . It clicked in my head.
He might be a Pariah.

[2 march 1993 ]
I have been going daily to the outskirts of our territory near the barren lands in hopes to see my mate again with food . As dressed up as I can be without raising my mama’s suspicions. But everyday proved to be a disappointment . I would leave the food basket there and the food would disappear when I returned the next day so I held on to that as a sign and continued to hope.
Today was different though I was l loosing patience I wanted to talk with him. So I decided not to leave the food basket as I was about to turn and walk away . He appeared from the camouflage of the bushes . He cleaned up well as much as he could. First we kept staring at each other and then he smiled. I melted . we talked.
I learnt his name .
Benedict .

[11 july 1993]
After having several arguments with my family and my pack members because they weren't ready to accept a pariah as my mate . I decided to leave my pack and live with Benedict in barren lands permanently. I didn't know what to expect, this was the land of pariahs. The outcast. The criminals which were banished from different packs. I was crazy and I was terrified. But I got to know this was a land of families too who welcomed me with open arms . They addressed me as Luna . I turned to Benedict , astonished , he hadn't mentioned his title to me. These pariahs had formed their own pack outside their packs and they loved Benedict .
I was worried about what will I feed on before coming here. I would be filled with thier love I was sure now.

[5 august 1994]
I wasn't trained to be a luna . But when people look up to you , you learn to play the part despite your fears and inhibition .
Food is scarce . food is always scarce. I am trying an experiment to grow crops on this land . Water is also the problem, I hope rain this year will solve this problem .
Benedict looks at me like he is guilty for dragging me here. He tries to love me more . I love him too. I don't regret my decision .But I have to try for my child to give him better . yes I am pregnant. I haven't told Benedict yet .

[19 january 1995]
How the loss of your unborn child makes you hollow . my dreams .my hopes .shattered with the miscarriage . I was a female unable to think for a long time. Benedict licked my tears and was patient with me all the time . I am standing because of him . He is my strength.
The crops grew although less .But this land can cultivate we will have more than rodents to feed on .
And like this land I will once again be fertile . I will hope . Always .

[2 june 1996]
This is the most proud I have been , We had a ceremony in the honour of my first born child ,Ian . The ceremony in which I had to bite Ian’s hand so that it bleed a little and all the members lick his blood sworn their loyalty to their future heir.
Little Ian felt the pain first so he cried a lot but later as the wolves nuzzled their muzzle to smell him, adore him. He was smiling .

[21 september 2000 ]
Happiness is followed by shadows of sadness. The wolf committee got a whiff of the pariahs living happily . they are building a prison and destroying our crops . We have managed to run and hide. Yesterday though when Samuel returned he said they caught him and injected him with some serum . Today he was behaving like the rabid , they accuse of all pariahs to be .Fear has never been more evident in the eyes of these wolf who made a good life even after being wrongly accused and punished for the crimes they didn't commit.

[10 october 2000]
More of us were caught and put in the prison . Benedict  left after kissing me and Ian goodbye. He said he had to fight for his people. He said to run away or go back to my pack if he doesn't return. For the safety of our son. I held him tight for long and cried hard . I wanted to beg to not go but I knew he had responsibility towards these people. Our people. I promised I won't run . I would wait for him to return and I would care for our pack.

[4 may 2002]
Will i ever be able to tell my son of my cowardice. I ran away after they attacked us.I fought till I could but we were outnumbered. I had to protect him ,nothing else mattered .It was chaos and bloodsheed. I live for him after my mate's death , the only reason I don't die.
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My father was the Alpha of Pariahs?
The committee is involved in the plight of the pariahs ?
Some serum made them rabid?

I have been injected three different times in less than six months .

I am not able to shift now. Alysia says we are mates.we meet at the laraxia meeting after turning eighteen for the first time. Does that mean that the antidote Olivia gave me, made me unable to sense my mate. But I was also injected during the civil war of torpedo?

I pull my hair in frustation.
I am pulled away from my internal thought process by the chiming of my phone. I ignore it the first time. It rings again . I get up and pick it up .

“Sanders” it’s Marshall Nelson. “How are you son? I just got informed you were attacked by the pariahs, why were you at the barren lands?”
So I explain him everything .

“Crawford? He is here at the Simkah. He has always been a suspicious fellow . Anyway I need you here for further investigation. I suppose you are resting in your pack.”
“Yes sir ” I answer.
“Surely you are coming back soon?”
I hesitate , I have missed my home, Aiespur but there is a need of some serious investigation. I have to have a conversation with Olivia that's another thing to do.
“In about 2 to 3 days ” I say after a thought.
After sometime restless and in need of fresh air I try to shift in the front of the yard.
Sweat beads collect on my forehead. I hit the floor in frustation.

“Easy there ” Elias comes from behind the trees amused by my agony or blissfully ignorant.

“Easy for you to say” i retort standing to my full height.
"Are you okay ?"he asks
Do I seem okay? Instead I say “I have been better.”

After his face shows the sign that he is thinking whether or not to ask the question he states“Alpha said you would be our delta.” he is prying he wants me to elaborate.
“Yeah well..” I don't know whether or not Alysia has told him that she senses that I am her mate. I choose to be vague.

“This pack has you as the delta force.” I smirk.
He laughs.
“Do not patronize me Ian.”

After that it’s an easy back and forth banter. We sit at the footsteps of the cottage. He asks about my years spent in Simkah . Although spending time with Elias was never a delibrate choice of mine. It feels good to have someone like a brother who knows you since a long time.
“It was nice catching up , but it's time for the formal dinner." He says getting up ready to leave "Too bad I can't extend this invitation to you since you no longer hold the title of Delta of our pack. ”

“Dinner?” I bring my brows together.

“Yeah , with the former Alpha and Luna of phalanx pack and their son. Apha ,Beta ,Gemma, Delta and former Alpha and Luna of Aiespur.”

“Marcus Martini?” the Alpha of Phalanx is here?

“No, their other not so good son. Lucas ” he clarifies. “Well as we speak Alpha Alysia is giving him the tour of our pack ” he adds expanding his palms in exaggeration.

“Interesting.” the information has left me mildly annoyed.