I looked into the barrel, not even able to see my life flashing before my eyes. This was the end and I knew it. I had gone too far, way too far. This man didn't trust me, he never did. And now here we were, him being the upper hand and on the verge of killing me.

« Conway! »

I didn't even realize someone was yelling at him before the sound of the gun went of and my arm was drown in pain. I clutched it, wondering why I was still alive and why death hurt only in my left arm. I looked up, my gaze dull with black spots as the scenery in front of me became focussed.

Dickens arm was held low by Paulina who was now shouting in his face. He shouted back, but their words were inaudible for me as the shot still echoed in my ears. Through the piercing tone, I finally could make out their conversation as slowly my senses came back to me. The entire crew had rushed to the deck and had probably stumbled upon me falling on deck and Dickens holding a still smoking gun in his hand, a mermaid pinned against the wood. But Paulina had guided him away, she had prevented me from being killed. I was so grateful that apparently, after all, she did choose my side.

That was until she glanced my way and I saw her eyes being furious. She looked at the mermaid and pointed at her, shouting words into Dickens face. « Obviously the mermaid tricked him, Conway! We can't lose another man this close to Bermuda! » She slapped his arm, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to emphasize her words.

« She cursed him! It probably has been going on since she's here, remember how he looked at her! We both know he has been visiting her. »

I didn't fully comprehend her words as shock was still taking over the rush of blood that was flooding through my veins. « You're not going to let him away with this! » Dickens shouted back in her face, his own features deadly pale and his eyes seemingly enlightened.

« Who do you think I am? He needs to be punished. » Paulina replied, finally pulling away from Dickens and looking back at me. « He might've been under her influence, but he shouldn't have been so stupid to let her. The shrimp nearly destroyed everything we worked for. »

« Which is why we should kill him. Paulina, don't act silly. It will be much easier if we just kill him on the spot. »

It was highly unpleasant to hear them bickering about my faith in such an offensive manner. No one of the crew backed me up. Apparently, I was alone.

« Killing him is the lightest punishment he could get, Conway. » Paulina's eyes were burning with fury. She directed her gaze towards the captain and he understood her notion. « How many? »

« Thirty. »

« Make it 50 and the boy can stay. » Her lips formed a stiff line. I heard some men murmur around me, saying this was the toughest punishment anyone had received from the two tirans. She seemed to contemplate the idea and finally she nodded, turned away and was ready to walk back to wherever she came from. However, Dickens grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to him. « This you're going to watch, my love, for I feel you need it as well. »

Paulina visibly swallowed but quickly restored her posture. She didn't say another word and stood next to Dickens who instructed the men to bring the whip. It wasn't until then I realized what was going to happen to me. My eyes grew big and two men pulled me up, tore my shirt away and bound me against the mast. I winced as they shove my arm, the bullet wound still fresh and dripping. I wasn't going to survive this.

I heard silence overcome the crew as Dickens shook a tingly object. The keys. « And whose are these? » He said, his voice in a mocking tone. My heart was beating loud in my ears, I didn't know if I would stay conscious through all of this torture. I was surprised when the voice of my friend sounded vast towards his captain.

« Lock, you've got the honor. » Dickens pushed the whip into his hands and stepped back. For a few moments it was deadly silent on the ship, whilst I tried to look at Lock, begging him not to go through with this. His eyes found me, although he was obviously angry, he seemed to feel sorry as well. He looked at me and then back to the whip, probably wondering what to do. The dull click of a gun sounded behind his head. « Come on, Lock. We don't have all night. »

Lock finally looked at me, and mouthed sorry before he tore his gaze away and lifted his arm. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I'd sure faint from the first strike. We all held our breath waiting for the sound of leather on flesh to cut through the air.

As soon as it did, all my muscles tensed to avoid the pain overwhelming me. My vision immediately blurred and I gritted my teeth not to whimper or beg for mercy. I was going to take this like a man. With every strike, I thought I was going to faint. It was only my hatred for both Paulina and Dickens that kept me standing. I would not crumble under their sight.

And so Lock continued, as the crew remained awfully silent whenever the whip slit through the air to land on my bare back. I was happy I didn't see the wreckage that must've been my skin, but I felt the warmth of blood dripping over me. The smell of iron gushed in my nose. I could focus on nothing else than pure willpower to remain standing and take in my punishment. I couldn't even think clear about why. It was solely my instinct that prevented me from fainting on the spot.

« One last blow. » Dickens announced, satisfaction dripping from every word. Finally my torture quit as I couldn't help but a scream to escape my lips as I dropped to my side as soon as my hands were released. Someone brought me a cloth and pressed it against my back as the world around me came back to live after the most painful experience in my life. I was constantly drifting in and out of consciousness, unaware of where I was headed as two men pulled me back up and carried me to the hammocks. The only thing I could see was Paulina's face when she turned around and left everyone behind. The frown, the stern line that was her mouth, her pale appearance and the sudden weariness she wore. But her eyes were full of life but I was afraid I would never figure out why.

For days I remained in the hammock, resting as Abby silently took care of my wounds. I was grateful it wasn't Paulina's task to take care of my abused back but Abby was none the better. He worked without speaking, finishing efficiently in time and then leaving me alone to rest. Lock had come up to me in the morning after, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Of course, I knew this wasn't my fault, in fact I deserved it for I had betrayed him. But that didn't take away that I felt like, although I survived, I was dead. Castor came up everyday to bring me food, but the others avoided any contact with me. Castor confided me that Marina had been put back into the cellar with the only one who could stand her magic. Lock.

I felt another flash of guilt through me as I remembered how he had looked at her the first time he had seen her. I didn't dare to ask Castor, afraid he was mad at me too but he saw the question lingering in my eyes whenever I asked how Lock was. But never did he tell me.

The week passed as I slept the days away, fever lurking every night. Paulina hadn't come down here and I was glad. I could never forgive her for this, I thought. Being bedridden, gave me time to think. Saving Marina had failed and ended up with both her and myself being punished. I would never trust Paulina again after she inflicted this kind of horrendous pain on me. Abby still refused to speak to me, Lock was both betrayed and punished as well, and Castor had to do all of his tasks alone and obviously didn't trust me either. There was nothing left for me at the Serena. I just had to get out and leave, hoping somewhere else would offer me anything better.