15.

Apparently the wind had heard our silent prayers, and soon the Serena was once again drifting through the waters as if she were a majestic bird. Smoothly she left a trail of waves behind us as the all surrounding clear waters made place for a small piece of land drawn against the horizon. It felt like the crew had hold his breath to watch the slightest piece of civilization and we were finally able to escape the imprisoned feeling of the open waters.

It was already early in the evening when we arrived at the port. It was hidden between the cliffs, only a trained eye could decipher the tiny village from the sea. Dickens, Paulina and a few men had left to reestablish our provisions. The others were just cleaning the ship and ourselves as we finally had the time to give both the vessel and our bodies proper inspection without the sun threatening to scorch our skin off. Some men had brought kettles filled with fresh water on the upper deck as we all encircled them and swiftly took off our shirts to enjoy a nice bath. It was in this state Paulina and Dickens found us when they returned, everyone including Paulina, carrying buckets and tons filled with supplies. She cocked her eyebrow at the display and as if she hadn't need to search at all, her eyes found me. Her gaze was burning my bare chest as she hungrily stared at it. Her eyes hovered over my tanned skin, drinking in the sight of my sore muscles with a glint of lust hiding behind her long lashes. Although flattered, I felt uncomfortable as the man behind her shot her a quick glance.

Dickens abruptly instructed her to collect the provisions and make an inventory and obviously annoyed she could no longer watch me, she followed him inside the ship. I couldn't help but grin. Back home, I knew the ladies wanted me. I was a good catch on the marriage market. Good looking, an impressive reputation, a wealthy family... The thought of my family stung. I hadn't really considered them into this whole adventure. For all I cared, the Rovers were my family more than the McAchen ever were. My mother was a young, frivolous being, often only interested in vain popularity and gossip. She was pretty and friendly, yes, but that was about it. When it came to my upraising, she had left that task to the many nannies and governesses whilst she continued organizing tea parties and going to socialite events until well past midnight. My mother and I never really bounded over anything. She held the perception that a lady of class should not be tainted by education or knowledge. The only thing she really cared for was the perception other people had of her. She was completely different from Marianne Rovers, who was a lot older and carried wisdom wherever she went.

My father and I had a difficult relationship from the very beginning. After all these years, I haven't figured out yet exactly why, but I assume both of stubborn natures have to do something with it. From early on, my father wanted the best education for me, which I did not desired at the time. I wanted to have fun with my friends instead of studying in an empty library with some noisy old man watching wherever I went. It didn't help that as the years continued I openly displayed my dislike for all he gave me, often returning the discussion about me being ungrateful. It wasn't that I was ungrateful, rather that I really didn't want to be there and learn about twisted visions on the world and its politics. My father praised certain ideas, which I couldn't accept. The weird mood that hung around the McAchen Manor was the main drive to leave the estate as much as I could. My father and I regularly had fights where he always concluded that I wasn't worth any of the honor he had provided me with. Rather than be confronted with my father, I flee away to the Rovers Mansion, where I actually did feel at home. It resulted in me only coming home to sleep and if my father or mother requested me home, which didn't happen all that much. It was rather a burden that fell of their shoulders when they didn't have to provide me any of their attention.

Back on the Serena, the chaos of the ship returned as the goods were loaded onto the ship. Especially when Dickens returned with the message that tonight he was going to show us his good side. We had been working so hard that we were starting to forget why we choose this though life, he declared. Others apparently immediately knew what that meant, but to me I was really wondering what that could be. « Search out your nicest shirt, gentlemen, and hopefully, you won't return with it tomorrow morning! » He yelled out on the upper deck as the others joined him by cheering and whistling. Abby walked over to me and pulled me downstairs, shoving a clean shirt to my chest and a simple black coat. « Your first party with us, how lucky you are to have survived long enough to witness this. » He grinned. A bit later we were all collected on deck and I was surprised that apparently everyone had indeed tried to make themselves a bit more appealing. The shirt I was wearing was a bit too big, but tucked inside my trousers, nobody would notice. When I was talking to Castor I noticed he had even taken the time to remove all the bloodstains from his jewelry. He noticed me looking « For the ladies, wouldn't want to scare 'em. » He winked and a few heads arched to look at the upper deck.

Dickens appeared, wearing a deliberately designed red coat, that revealed a stiff white shirt tucked inside well fitting black trousers. His wild beard was shaven neatly into form and his dark unruly hair was covered with a flamboyant broad hat. The last rays of sun captured several glimmering chains resting against his tanned skin. However most of the men were looking at figure behind the powerful captain.

Paulina had decided to wear an elegant deep blue dress, the fabric stuck to the long sleeves on her arms and bodice until the skirt flared open somewhere in the middle of her thigh. The fabric was covered with a veil, decorated with tiny little crystals. Her hair was freshly washed and still a little damp as it was left loose to dry. She was breathtaking in the simplicity of her gown. I had seen many gowns in my life, and I had to admit, not a single one would've looked better on her. Dickens walked towards the plank, on his arm the lovely Paulina who was beaming with pride. Before descending and showing us the way, Dickens turned around « Gentlemen, tonight might be the last festive evening in a while so... Fiesta like there's no mañana! » The crew roared and followed excited for a night off duty. Whatever happened tonight, would remain a secret underneath the star kissed sky that was slowly displaying above us.

We walked up a path, pressing ourselves to the side of the cliff. Nobody wanted to spend this festive evening tumbling down a rocky downfall towards death. The village lights were looming above us, the sound of music coming closer. As soon as we spread on the central place, the festivities around us were in full process. The entire tiny village was decorated with lights and candles, several bands playing on different locations. Seamen from all over the world were hanging on the lips of the local beauties who didn't hesitate to pour them another glass of hearty liquor. Absolom cried out in joy before he found a tap to hang underneath, the gold beer washing over his shirt. I grinned. If this was a pirate party, I was pleasantly surprised. The ambiance was good and dare I say, even better than the stiff parties my mother and even Mrs. Rovers organized where protocol had to be respected at all times. I was remarkably relaxed. Everyone went their ways, I remained close to Lock and Castor. Obviously they had been here before and introduced me to two young ladies, Graceline and Evangeline. Castor bend down to whisper in my ear « Sisters. » with a suggestive rise of his eyebrows.

Although the girls were pretty, they did not avert my attention from the girl standing next to a few others watching one of the dance floors from underneath her lashes. Paulina took a long gulp from a delicate glass of wine and from the looks of it, she was surrounded by what seemed to be the Pirates Elite. Only captains and the higher ranks accompanied her, together with the most unique women of the festivities. She looked around and could barely hide her boredom in her expression. She longingly looked over to the dance floor, her arm snaking around Dickens bicep, whispering something in his ear. He grinned, but nonetheless remained where he was and continued talking to a fellow pirate who's goatee was slightly smoking however, he didn't seem to mind. I tried to pry my eyes away from her, looking at the dance floor instead.

Both men and women were dancing in a way I had never seen before. Being so close to each other, making such suggestive moves would be regarded upon as highly inappropriate in my circles. But then again, I was as far as I could be from what I was used to. I was surprised by the ease the women danced around, their long skirts twirling around their legs. A lot of them wore short sleeves, some even completely bare shoulders, and the sweat was shimmering on their tanned skins. The smell of grilled food and strong liquids filled the village, mixing with a strong smell of the ocean coming from the beaches below us. Castor and Lock were chatting with the two sisters, Castor obviously trying to get one of them alone. Lock, however, shot his mate nasty glares every time he tried to ditch him with the other sister.

A long slender arm was thrown over my shoulder. I looked up to see an unfamiliar face with a red painted mouth smile at me. The woman was swimming in a strong perfume. I had to force myself not to gag. Although, very beautiful, she seemed vain and not really interested for as soon as she noticed I wasn't going to catch, she immediately released me and stumbled towards her next victim. Absolom didn't seem to mind at all as he willingly wrapped his arms around the woman's curvy figure.

I took a sip of the bottle of rum that was passed along and remained quiet. My eyes immediately looked for the deep blue dress that was standing a bit higher above, looking down at the frivolous behavior of the crew. Hungrily, I let my eyes roam over Paulina, the thought of her actually witnessing drawn to the back of my head.

As her eyes found mine, I hid my shock. She was smiling and glanced one time at Dickens as if to put him to an ultimatum. He didn't give her the attention she wanted and with a smile on her lips she descended and it didn't take her long to stand in front of me. Though she looked almost regal, excitement was obviously running through her body, as she glanced around. It was clear she didn't get to the lower parts of the festivities that much and was dying to experience it. It must have been the party or otherwise the drinking, but without thinking I took her hand and pulled her to the dance floor. She let out a little shriek and watched carefully as I placed my hand on her hip, installing her hand in my other. Paulina watched me curiously as she leaned in a little closer. « What are we doing? » She giggled, a blush creeping over her cheeks. It was so unlike her, I had to believe it was the liquor and overall ambiance of the party who caused it.

The ale in my veins made me brave as I pulled her closer to me, our chests almost touching. « Dancing, of course. That was what you wanted, right? You escaped Dickens for me. » I grinned and even dared to wink. Paulina glanced back at Dickens who still hadn't noticed her disappearing. « I wouldn't exactly call it escaping... » She chewed her words carefully and glanced around. « But I might have to disappoint you... » all frivolity had left her voice as she backed away. « for I don't know how to dance. »

I was amazed. A beautiful girl like Paulina who did not know how to dance? It didn't bother me the slightest to teach her. « Don't worry... » I said and I leaned in closer as if telling her a secret « I don't know how to move like them either. » We watched the couples around us, squirming against each other, hands tangled in hair and dresses as the women swayed seductively and the men were trying their best to maintain themselves.

She giggled and I pulled her closer to me, comfortable by our proximity. I simply guided her around, often my feet being stepped on which was always accompanied by a series of curses coming from her delicate mouth. This girl couldn't dance like a lady, but talking like a pirate she could indeed. I let her twirl around slowly. We were completely missing the beat of the music to which others were moving like crazy, but we didn't mind. We were having fun. For once, it didn't seem complex to spend time with Paulina as we forgot where we were and who we were.

We twisted and turned, her posture slacking as she became more loose as we went on and on. She smiled and laughed out loud, only encouraging me to quicken our pace and leading her further away from the Captain. She didn't seem to notice or else she didn't mind at all. With Paulina, no one could really tell what was going on in her head. We reached the edge of the dance floor both panting and longing for a drink. Fortunately for us, a bottle of wine was passed in our direction. Paulina took it and set it to her lips. The figure in front of me of Paulina in such an exquisite dress, clogging the wine in the back of her throat seemed unreal to me, as she was such a contradictory person. She was the embodiment of both feminine grace and manly force. As she granted me a sip, she was smiling immensely and I wondered how many bottles she already emptied to amuse herself at the Captain's side.

Feeling daring, I took her hand and guided her away to the more quiet side of the village. She glanced back one last time, but apparently declared the coast safe for us to leave the chaos of the party. We walked a bit around, joking and fooling each other as we distanced ourselves further and further from the festivities of the village. We strolled towards one of the cliffs, where a few benches were placed as if anyone actually had the time to just enjoy the view. I sat down and quickly Paulina followed, grabbing the bottle from between my hands and balancing it against her lips.

« Are you drunk? » I blurted out, but she only laughed whilst throwing her head back. The gesture made her curls fall to her back and when she returned I noticed the slightly out of breath look she sported. « Who can tell on a night like this, Handsome. » She grinned and handed me the bottle again.

We sat down in silence, just watching the ocean in front of us. On the beach below us, the Serena was swaying softly in the waves. « Isn't it magnificent? » Paulina asked, but I wondered if it was a real question for she wouldn't take no for an answer. I leaned on my knees, looking at the view. How many times had I looked at the ocean and just completely ignored it whilst Paulina's attention was always directed towards the vast blue mass. « What did you do before you got on the Serena? » I asked and took another sip, letting the rich flavor caress my tongue.

Paulina was silent for a second, contemplating her words. « I've always lived near the ocean. It's the only certainty I've known. »

« And what about your parents? »

Her face hardened « I consider them death. »

I wanted to ask her about it, I was really curious but the change of her mood didn't escape me and now that we were getting somewhere else than mockery I didn't want it to stop.

« Oh, well, if you like to know. I don't particularly like my parents as well. »


She glanced to her side. « But you like your friend's family, the Rovers, right? » Bringing back thousands of memories, I wondered why she cared to ask. Paulina probably thought I wasn't really trying to get back home any more. Which, when I thought about it, could be true. « Yes... I consider them my family more than my own. » I admitted, leaving my thoughts to rush in silence as I focused on something else.

« But let's change the topic if you do not want mutiny on the Serena. » I tried to joke, but the thought about it made me feel hollow inside. « Let's get back to you... How did you get on the Serena then? »

Paulina looked straight at the water in front of us. Her eyes locking with a crescent moon. « You're not going to leave me alone until you got some sort of background story, do you? » she said and she took another swig from the bottle. « When I was six, I ran away from home... » she abruptly commenced without waiting for an answer. « I had been wandering all by myself that night, but from the little port town I lived, there wasn't really a way out but by boat. So, somehow I convinced Dickens into taking me with him. » What I heard wasn't anything new and I was certain Paulina was aware of that as well. « But the past is past. That's why I don't like to talk about it, my parents... » she looked back at the ocean with mixed emotions in her eyes. « They punished me before I ran off for something that wasn't my fault. Looking back I sometimes doubt my decisions, but I'm certain I did not make a mistake. » Her full lips were pressed together as her eyes were still locked with the scenery in front of her.

I placed my hand on top of hers. « Everyone makes mistakes, Paulina, I'm sure they'd understand if you explained it to them. »

She did not pull her hand away but she let out a loud laugh. « You don't know my parents, Felix. They are not the most forgiving of our kind. » Paulina's eyes landed on our hands, following the line of my arm until she reached my face again.

I hated her and both adored her, that I knew, when she looked at me with those eyes that held all those secrets. For the time I knew her, I got deeper stuck in all of her mysteries. She had kissed me, but seemed to be in love with Dickens for they shared so much more than stolen glances and one lost kiss. They had a past, yet here she was, sitting with me instead of parading on the arm of the captain. How could I want somebody that was obviously so far out of reach?

She stood up and dusted of her skirt, our hands no longer holding each other. Her brown hair was thrown over her shoulder again and I could see her inhale so deep her chest was rising and my attention was fixed on the medaillon resting on her skin. « Paulina? » I asked, standing up as well. She ignored me, and was obviously looking for some distraction on the only safety she knew.

I reached for her hand once more, and she did not pull away. I took her chin in my hand and slightly forced her hesitant face towards mine. « Was kissing me a mistake? » I whispered, uncertainty filling the air around us. If not now, I would not know when I got another chance to tear myself away from her before these feelings were about to burn me alive.

She did not look at me, her irises in the corner of her eyes still looking at the reflection of the moon onto the water. Her lip trembled and I was dying to kiss her again. But I waited, I needed an answer. « Paulina? »

She tore her eyes away from me and looked back up. « Felix,... » Her voice was a whisper and it was the first time I felt like there was nothing standing between us. The first time she might actually be telling me the truth.

« I don't know why I kissed you... But it shouldn't happen again... It's dangerous. If Dickens finds out, both of us... »

I stopped her mid sentence « Don't talk about Dickens. This is between you and me. I for one, enjoyed it. » I was amazed by my own words escaping my lips but I wouldn't take them back. It was true. She smiled. « I do not regret it either. » My heart skipped a beat.

« It was not a mistake. » She continued and I swear my heart was about to climb out of my body just so she could hold it. I leaned in closer to her, her face inches away. She was looking so innocent I could easily forgive her for the times she made me so furious I was about to throw her overboard. Paulina's long lashes batted her skin, several times as we just looked at each other, both waiting for the other to start. I could no longer hold myself back but Paulina stopped me by holding her hand over my chest. « I don't know what it is that you have that makes me want you. » She blurted out, her eyes focused on her fingers sprawled on my shirt. « But it makes me afraid because it is something I didn't take into account. » Her words rushed from her lips, as I pulled her even closer. « It scares me that I want you but I can't have you, Felix. It will only make things harder, so much harder... »

« I'm willing to risk it. »

She looked up at me, and she was sincere and very much sober when she opened her mouth. « It's not up to you to make that decision, Felix. » She pulled herself out of my embrace and I couldn't do a thing but to watch her leave. In the eye of the storm that was Paulina, I found myself to face the path of destruction that followed the silence.