Juri eyed the milk and cookies on the end table beside her. His milk and cookies. They even had his name on the plate in decorative red and green frosting.

Silly humans, thinking that Santa ate their silly human food. Or cared about their silly human young. Or looked anything like their silly human depictions.

Juri took a cookie and bit into it, her eyes falling on the children sleeping in front of the Christmas tree. No doubt they'd stayed up as long as they could to catch a glimpse of Jolly Old Saint Nick.

Saint… She suppressed a chuckle, and downed the glass of milk.

Then she heard it. The soft crunch of snow, a bell’s gentle chime. Here he comes. Juri shrunk into the mouth of the narrow hall, letting the shadows consume her.

A cloud of smoke came down the chimney, along with the smell of pine, thistle and filthy demon.

The cloud coalesced into a pillar and began to take form. From a pair of obsidian horns to pristine white hair and a pale, gaunt face. The rest of him was hidden by a heavy red cloak.

Oh sure, it was endearing when Santa snuck into people's homes. But if she did it, she got two warning shots to the head.

Juri wound a dreadlock around her finger and tracked him across the room. He knelt in front of the children and held his hands out like a hobo in front of trash fire.

If only that were so. She could kick him in and watch him burn, roast marshmallows atop his horns.

His face took on a serene calm as he fed on the innocence of the sleeping young ones. The wrinkles disappeared from his brow and his cheeks filled out a bit.

Should I kill him now? Juri stroked the leather whip at her side. Nah, whoever's house this was, they kept their shit nice. No need to ruin it.

The demon pulled several nicely wrapped boxes from beneath his cloak and tucked them under the tree. While his offerings were harmless, it didn't make him any less of a fucking creep.

Damn demons. When he smoked back up the chimney, she opted for her own exit -- the window. Her breath fogged in the chilly night air, coloured red and green by the Christmas lights lining the house.

Juri took a few steps back before leaping up to the roof.  The demon was leaning against the chimney stack, no doubt giddy from his meal.

Not looking so jolly are we? She pulled her whip from her belt, and with a well-practiced flick of her wrist it cut through the air like greased lightning.

The demon didn't know what hit him until the braided leather was around his neck. His body became semi corporeal as he tried to smoke away, but her whip was designed to cripple his kind.

The sight of him trying to claw his way free made Juri so giddy that she burst into song. “Oh up on the rooftop reindeer pause.” She pulled on the whip, dragging his flailing form through the snow. “Out jumps good ole Santa Claus.”

He snarled at her, revealing his unnaturally sharp canines. But that snarl was easily erased by a quick kick to his face.

“Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go.” Juri took hold of one his horns with her free hand and braced her foot on the back of his head. “Up on the house-top click, click, click.” With a vigorous tug, the horn snapped free. “Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick.”

“Demon… hunter,” he choked out, pushing himself up from the snow. His red eyes glowed brighter than the Christmas lights as he glared at her.

“Merry Christmas, Santa.” She waved his broken horn in front of his face. “Or should I call you by your real name, Snix? Where’s my presents?”

Snix gave a mirthless chuckle, blood staining his teeth and dribbling down his jaw. “You're on the naughty list.”

“What's going on up there?!”

Juri looked over her shoulder to see a few denizens of suburbia  gathered in the street, their feet tucked into uggs and bodies swathed in winter coats. They looked like a group who enjoyed harassing sales workers and bitching about how millennials were ruining everything.

She turned to face them fully and kicked a cloud of snow their way, eliciting a collective flinch. “Demonhunter business. Now get lost.”

“I'm calling the cops,” one of the women said, bringing an iPhone to her ear.

“Yeah, you fucking do that, Susan.” Juri turned back to her business, only to find her whip cut and the demon gone. “Shit.”

Snix was tearing across the empty field east of the houses, his red cloak flapping behind him.

Oh no you don't. She leapt from the roof and gave chase. The frigid air made her lungs burn as she pumped her legs as fast as they would go.

Snix glanced over his shoulder and hulk-jumped higher than the treetops, the ground caving in his wake.

A tremor rolled over the snow, knocking Juri off her feet. She stumbled headlong into the crater and hit her shoulder on a rock before eating shit.

Son of a bitch.

With a groan, she rolled onto her back in time to see Snix’s ride pass overhead -- a sleigh drawn by eight quadruped, horned beasts that the humans thought were reindeer.

Juri saluted it with her middle finger, just as a black stone fell to the earth, narrowly missing her head. Her lips curled into a snarl as she examined the object.

A lump of coal.

~~~

Written for: Prompt Wars
Prompt: Santa Claus is coming to town. You are oath-sworn to stop him.
Word Limit: 1000 words
Final Word Count: 944 words