Didn't proofread. Hope we don't mind?

Thanks to jueka1, brightyeolie, and amiva0402.

Enjoy...

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The gentle chatter swarmed the library as others lingered around after school hours, cramming for an assessment and studying for an exam with the help of various peers and teachers.

Flynn was already there before me, seated in the corner of the library with his books out and ready.

As I wheeled closer, he immediately looked up at me, a soft smile taking hold of his face, causing my heart to flutter.

Don't, Callie... Don't.

Pushing right up to his desk, I made sure to take the seat facing him instead of next to him. Because being right by his side was stirring all sorts of old emotions I was trying to forget. Earlier in maths, consumed in his familiar orange and sandalwood scent, I struggled to stay focussed on the issue of helping him.

"So where should we start?" I asked, avoiding his gaze that I knew was already dissecting every crevice of my being, making me squirm inside... but not in the same way that the other boys did.

It's dangerous, Callie... boys are dangerous. And that's why we are in this library in the first place instead of inviting him over again.

"I don't even know," Flynn said back, finally pulling his eyes off me and to the textbook. His fingers began to thumb through the pages, seeming to not really search for anything. "I only just scraped a pass on the last exam, so I think I missed a chunk from the last term which is why I'm even more behind now."

With a slight nod, I opened my own textbook to the very first week of last term and said, "Well let's start at the beginning then."

"We've only got two weeks," he said in a small voice.

"And we have maths class for independent study and an hour every day. We will get there, don't stress, Flynn."

His eyes still danced with worry, but he forced a smile onto his face. "I do have the best tutor."

Ignoring his statement even though my heart was throwing a party in my chest at his evident tenderness towards me still, I turned my attention back to the book and began to dive into the work.

In the end we studied for almost two hours. Almost every other student had left the building at that point and some of the teachers were starting to give us wary glances as if to say, 'Will you go home so we can'.

But eventually I decided it was time we called it.

Closing up my book and packing up my things, Flynn began to mirror my actions, all the while casting me many glances.

As I began to push myself out of the library, I was overly conscious that Flynn had slowed his steps to keep pace with me.

And as we put our belongings into our bags, it was clear he was waiting for me as he threw his backpack on, making no indication to leave.

Throwing my bag on my lap, I pivoted my chair to begin pushing towards the front entrance and, just as expected, Flynn started to move... as though it were natural to walk by my side.

"So..." he started as we came within a few steps of the front of the school. "Who is picking you up?"

"No one," I muttered back, already starting to push onto the footpath, ready to wheel home.

"I see..." He had slowed in step, hands clutching his backstraps as I began to start putting some distance between us. Then he said, "Wait, what?" Immediately he began moving, jogging after me until his steps were in line with my wheel pushes. "Did I keep you from your ride?"

Shaking my head, I said, "Aunt Jojo is only able to pick me up on Thursdays and Fridays."

He was quiet for a moment as he nodded, taking in the information. But then he said, "What about Noah and Sara's mum?"

His name coming out of Flynn's mouth caused my body to stiffen. Coming to a stop, I felt my stomach began to churn with that familiar wave of nausea.

Flynn took a few steps in front of me until he realised I was no longer moving.

Turning around, he cocked a brow as his eyes scanned my face. "Why'd you stop?"

Eyes drifting down to his chest, I admitted, "I don't get a ride with them anymore." Then I began to push my chair again, without saying anything more.

"Oh," was all Flynn said back. He didn't push. He didn't pry. But he did go quiet for an insurmountable amount of time.

Long enough for us to cross the street.

Long enough for us to go past the skatepark, where many of the younger kids from school were still loitering.

Long enough for me to wheel past his street and notice he hadn't left my side.

"Flynn?" I suddenly said, coming to a stop and breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" he asked, head snapping up, gaze meeting mine, consumed with worry.

"You missed your street," I said, nodding my head back the way we came.

Seemingly not quite present, he turned his head, glancing back at it before meeting my eyes again. "I know," he then said.

Pressing my lips together, my heart began to thud in my chest as I wondered where he was going with this. "Well... bye," I said. And before this conversation could go any further, I began to push forward again in the direction of my home.

It didn't take long though for the footsteps to echo on the pavement behind me, eventually catching up.

"What are you doing?" I said, not even looking at him this time.

"Walking you home," he responded nonchalantly.

"I can walk myself home."

"Indeed. But I just want to be sure."

"I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will."

"So go home."

"I will. After I see you get home safely."

I pulled myself to a stop again and turned my head up, glaring at him. "What are you doing?"

This time Flynn was the one avoiding my stare. Looking at the ground. Looking at the cars passing by. Looking at the sky above my head. He finally said, "It's getting dark. And these streets aren't safe."

"That's some conservative numpty bullshit and you know it. These streets are as safe as any others in this town."

Heaving a sigh, he said, "I just want to... spend a few more moments with you, okay? Even if we aren't talking. Even if you can get home on your own. Walking around the neighbourhood at this time is comforting. And even if you and I never really did this before... It's bringing back some fond memories."

My heart throbbed in pain as I realised he was alluding to the times he used to walk the streets with his uncle.

And because there was nothing more I could say to that, I merely turned my chair and accepted the fate.

Flynn and I didn't say anything the rest of the way to my house.

I just pushed my chair as he walked by my side in silence. Neither of us looking at each other. Just taking in the surroundings, somewhat feeling safe in each others' company. But also feeling lost at the same time as this awkward energy still seemed to permeate between us with all the unsaids dangling in the air.

I wanted to ask why he came back to school.

I wanted to ask more about how his family was doing.

I wanted to ask what he had been doing all this time.

But, at the same time, those questions would open up so many doors of conversation that I'd potentially never be able to close again. And I didn't want to grow comfortable with having him around again... not when he could so quickly just disappear.

The only words we exchanged on the rest of that trip was when I turned into my driveway. I didn't plan to say anything as Flynn seemed lost in the land of memories as I glanced at him before wheeling away.

But then his warm voice called out behind me, "Have a good night, Callie."

Glancing over the back of my chair, I met his kind gaze—still contorted with pain—as he forced a familiar Flynn grin onto his face while raising a hand in the air.

"You too," I said back to him, giving him a small wave.

His grin fell into a satisfied smile. Then he turned on his heel and disappeared from my sight.

I sat out the front door the whole time, watching him go.

He never glanced back to see that I was doing this, which made me feel better.

But the whole time I watched him slowly saunter down the street, head turning this way and that as he took in his surroundings, I couldn't help but wonder what was truly going on in that head of his. And what the cost would be on my heart if I really did try to be his friend again.

"Callie? Callie? Earth to Callie," mum's voice said, yanking me from my stupor.

My mind had been playing Flynn's expressions on repeat ever since I got home—the whole time during my shower, as I got changed, as I did my homework, as I set the table for dinner. I couldn't help but wonder how long that pained expression was going to linger in his stare. If he'd ever smile like he used to. If I really would be able to bring back his old self or if... the cost on my heart would be too much.

Could I just be his friend again?

And how could I be his friend without thinking of our romantic period?

I know I pushed it aside before when I had my first kiss with him but... that was different.

With the way he looks at me now, a part of me wonders if he still holds the same feelings for me.

But the more reasonable part reminds me that his mind and heart only had time for me before. Now he was concerned with much more. Now he didn't have time for silly relationships. Now—

"Callie!" mum called again, calling me back to the dinner table once more.

"Sorry, what?" I asked, blinking at her.

Dad and Lexi were staring at me in concern, while a crease had formed between mum's brows as her eyes were going over me in a dissecting manner. "What's got that brain of yours going?"

Glancing at Lex and dad again, I gave her a slight shrug and pushed the food around on my plate with my fork. "Nothing really."

"Where were you this afternoon?" dad then tried.

Heaving a sigh, I said, "At school."

"But why were you at school for so long?"

"Because I was helping a friend study for an exam, okay?" But then my breath seemed to disappear as I realised the word that had slipped my mouth.

Friend.

"Who?" dad pressed. "Ashton?"

Shaking my head, I looked back to my plate. "It's no one."

"It's not no one," mum said softly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be in this funk. Talk to us."

"Oh, because you've always been so forthcoming about your lives?" I shot back at mum and dad.

Not wanting them to pull any more from me, I slammed my fork down on the table and pushed away.

"I'm not hungry anymore. I'm going to my room," I forced out, hating that mum's face fell at my sudden lashing out—a thing I hadn't done since the Noah incident.

I wheeled back to my room, hoping that the peace and quiet of my four walls would give my brain the space it needed to figure out this tough equation I couldn't solve. But I really didn't know why I continued to hope for anything anymore...

It took barely any time for my door to push open after me as mum slowly crept around the door as though she were trying to not disturb me. All the while my eyes stayed locked on her as I lifted myself out of my chair.

"What's going on, Cal?" she said as she took a seat at the edge of my bed while I fell onto it, gaze fixating on the ceiling.

"Nothing is going on. Why does there have to be something?"

"Well... I know you haven't quite been yourself since... well, you know. But today you're even more different. As though you're lost in thought about something."

Mums and their intuition, my mind grumbled. "I just need to think it through is all."

"Think it out loud."

"I'll pass."

"Callie... Evidently you're struggling to work through this one on your own. And what did I always tell you when you struggled with algebra the first time?"

Heaving a sigh, I said the very words I told Flynn this afternoon in the library, "When something is too difficult to handle, find someone more experienced and talk it through with them. By doing that, two heads can eventually find the answer to the problem."

"Exactly," mum said with a nod, evidently proud of her motherly advice.

Groaning, I forced myself back up to a seated position and decided to cave into her wishes and unleashed all in one breath. "Flynn is back at school after a term off and he's straight away following me around again firstly because he saw I was in my chair but also because he seems like he wants to be friends again but he was being really pushy about it at first and then he wasn't but then he was struggling in maths today so I helped him out and then I somehow ended up offering to tutor him today and we were in the library all afternoon which was why I was late and in some ways it feels just like old times with my best friend but I'm also super scared I'm being a dumb naive fool like I was with Noah and I'm also scared that he will just disappear on me again and I don't know how I can deal with it if I lost him again so I keep thinking distancing myself from him is best but he's so insistent and kind and warm and I've missed him so much and I feel like a jerk not being there for him after everything he's gone through and—" I cut off as I ran out of breath and words, taking in a few deep inhales and exhales as the oxygen refueled my brain.

All the while, mum sat patiently, waiting for me to continue.

"How did you ever forgive dad after everything, mum?" I then softly said.

"In the same way your father learned to forgive me. We realised that our lives were better with each other in it than without. Even if it hurt. Even if it meant sometimes we ended up stupidly getting together again only to break up... because when you find someone who gets you in ways no one ever has before... sometimes you just need to hold on no matter how many bumps get in your way."

Slowly nodding as I took in her words, I then squeaked out through a tight throat and stinging eyes, "Should I forgive Flynn?"

"Oh honey," mum said, immediately wrapping her arms around me before the waterworks came out. "Only you can decide that. But what does your heart tell you?"

"That I really want him back in my life because he feels so safe. But I'm absolutely so damn terrified of feeling safe around anyone."

Mum was nodding as she stroked my hair, her body's jostles indicating her movement to me. Then she said, "Flynn did break your trust, only for Noah to demolish what was left. But you never really knew Noah. And Flynn... well, you knew him inside and out."

"If I knew him so well, then how did I not see him completely abandoning me?"

"He never went through grief before. Loss can really change people... And we never know how we will react to it."

"He said that he didn't mean any of what he said... but what if he's just saying that now that he's back at school and is just regretting his choices?"

"I'm sure he regrets a lot of his choices. Like not spending more time with his uncle when he was around. Like not confessing his feelings to you sooner... Like leaving you when times were tough. But whenever you're sad, Cal, you like to be alone. The whole time Flynn was your rock as you knew each other. He was the big warm smile you turned to when you were overwhelmed with all the new changes. You didn't know that weak side of him so I guess that's why he wanted to hide it from you."

I buried further into mum, relishing in her comforting smell as she continued to stroke my back and her words danced around in my mind. "I don't think I'm ready to date him again if that's what he wants."

"You don't need to date anyone, Callie. Not unless it's what you want."

"But I do miss his friendship," I added.

"Then be his friend again," mum said.

"But what if he disappears again?"

Mum sighed and pulled me away from her. One hand freed itself from my arm, coming to my face to wipe my tears and move my hair out of my face. "People are temporary in our lives, Callie. That's what life is about. But we need to make the most of the time they are here. They come and they go and all we have left are the experiences in between. But if he does go again, then you have me, your dad, your sister, Sara, and your aunt right here to help you through it again. And in some ways, you've dealt with that pain before. It will hurt that you should have seen it coming, but you will also have strategies to cope with it. Yet life is too short to push away everything that scares you. You have to live life instead of hiding from it."

Lip quivering, I nodded as the tears unashamedly poured down my face. And as mum pulled me back in for a hug, I heard the door gently push open.

And not long later, another pair of arms—clearly my sister's—wrapped around the other side.

And then a familiar heavy set of footsteps echoed through my room, the bed jostling as a third person sat down. Dad's hand pressed against my back, his thumb tracing comforting circles.

I knew then that mum was right.

I had many around me to help me deal with the pain of losing him again.

I just had to be brave enough to open my heart one last time. At the very least to his friendship. I owed him that after everything he had done for me this year.