Apparently I broke 'judge rules' and the consequence is uploading another chapter? Mmmkay, jueka1 , whatever you say...

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Flynn tried a couple more times to get me in Ashton's proximity, though being alone with him was difficult. Over the rest of the term—yes, a whole seven weeks passed—I went to this party and that. A couple more late night adventures. Even a movie outing—whereby Ashton sat next to me, his hand twitching on the armrest the whole time though never making the leap.

But then one weekend, just after the first term of the year came to an end, we were at Ashton's house for a movie marathon in his living room. A couple of other girls were there, Fraser (to everyone's dismay, surely), and even Flynn.

When Ashton got up to grab some drinks from the kitchen, Flynn nudged me and told me to follow him.

Reluctantly, I got up—annoyed to be leaving at a good part of the film—and did as required. 

When I entered the kitchen, Ashton's brows shot up. It was the first time we had been alone in all these weeks though, with that stewing tension between us, so it was no suprise he was shocked... and no surprise that he then glanced around the room, evidently aware of the same thing I was.

"Need help?" I asked, rounding the island and standing obnoxiously close to him. 

The nerves that came with being like this around Ashton had disappeared long ago, especially with all the shoulder bumping he's done, or his leg pressing against mine as we've sat next to each other, or just before as his hand draped over the couch behind me. 

I knew he was into me—that part was undoubtable. I just needed him to take the leap with me so that I could tick him off.

Ashton gave me a smile and shook his head. "I'm alright."

My brows furrowed as I wondered what I should do now that my excuse was gone. I was waiting for the part where he told me to head back into the living room—that he'd be back shortly. But it also never came.

Then he said, "I've been meaning to ask you something, Callie... but there's no right way to phrase it in a cool way, which has been throwing me."

My heart began to accelerate as I wondered if the kiss had finally arrived. That soon I wouldn't have to subject myself to outings that involved Fraser. That surely this question centred around finally taking me up on the offer I made all those weeks ago in history. "What is it?" I pressed as he bit his lip, eyes avoiding mine.

"Are... are you and Flynn a thing?" His eyes hesitantly met mine, taking me off guard.

"Me and Flynn?" I asked, shocked to hear the words come from his mouth. Because seriously? All you'd have to do is look at us and know he didn't feel a thing for me. 

He nodded, confirming I heard right.

So I barked a laugh. "No. We're just good friends," I then said.

His grin grew wider, cockier, as he abandoned the bowl of chips he had poured in favour of leaning over the counter, closer to me. 

And, surprisingly, for the first time in a while with him, my heart let out a little stammer.

Iridescent blue eyes meeting mine, he said, "I know it was silly to assume. You're too pretty for him anyway."

But then the feelings I was growing in that moment disappeared in an instant. Brows coming together, I said, "What does that mean?" 

Flynn is attractive. He's really good at sport, so I hear, fit as hell, a smile that still melts my heart... Not that I like him of course. 

But it's him who is too good for me. He'd never go for me... Which is why he hasn't. Which is why he has been adamant about ensuring everyone knew we were 'just friends' when they asked... so how could Ashton even worry about that in the first place?

Ashton began to move his head ever so slightly closer as he spoke. "It means he's... well... I suppose some of his people might be into him but you're like... not his type. Or kind." Then his gaze trailed down from my eyes to my mouth, as though somehow he believed the words coming out of his mouth were in any way alluring.

But the phrase 'his people' echoed in my head, it's implications seeping into my blood and causing it to boil.

And while Ashton—in my silence and in his unwavering focus on my lips—continued to lean in, not noticing the fury that had tainted my stare, I took a decently sized step back.

Finally, he paused, eyes flickering up to mine in shock that I hadn't let him kiss me.

I had so many things I wanted to shout at him at that moment. 

So many retorts. 

So many words vile words bubbling to the surface, begging to be spat in his direction.

But the fact I still had to complete the list was in the back of my head, forcing me to bite my tongue on to all things I wanted to say that were dying to come out. 

Which meant, instead, I said all I could get out in that moment. "I'll see you back in the living room," I breathed.

"How'd it go?" Flynn asked as we walked out of Ashton's house, waiting by the street for my aunt to pick us up.

Pressing my lips together, I shook my head before I uttered, "It didn't."

Furrowing his brows, I could feel Flynn studying me for a moment until his expression softened. "Did he not—"

"I stepped away."

"Callie," he reprimanded. "You may have done that to me the first time but you can't—"

"I didn't want to kiss him."

He fell silent at my admission. 

And while I kept my eyes on the road, I could still feel his gaze burning into me.

Was my heart currently having a freak out over Flynn's mention of our kiss—a thing he hadn't even acknowledged existed since it happened? Most definitely. 

But overriding it was still that pent up anger towards Ashton. 

A part of me thought—was convinced—that if the guy was as nice as Flynn, I'd still feel all those same feelings stirring inside me. I felt them still around Noah. I felt them enhanced around Flynn. And Ashton had caused butterflies many times—though never as intense and they certainly had dulled as time went on.

But now, thinking about him, all I felt was deep-seeded disgust. 

And shame.

"Did you get scared again?" Flynn pressed when I didn't add anything further, voice soft.

I shook my head.

"Then what, Callie?" Though there was an edge to Flynn's voice as those words came out of his mouth. 

Not anger. 

Not sadness... 

Was it hope?

"He insulted my friend," I whispered.

"Sara?" Flynn asked. 

But one glance at him said all—he knew I was talking about him. Nonetheless, I shook my head, confirming his fears.

Face falling slightly, he said, "It's just a kiss, Callie. You don't need to—"

"I know. I'll tick him off next time... I just... couldn't today after what he said. I was too disappointed."

"People will disappoint."

I shook my head. "Disappointed in myself."

"Why?"

"Because for a second I actually let my heart get moved by him. And I disgust myself for ever being into someone like that."

Flynn's eyes danced around my face for a few moments before he whispered, "What did he say, Callie?"

But I just pressed my lips.

"I don't want to hear it?" he guessed.

"It will only upset you."

He nodded, hand warmly touching my arm. "Thank you for caring about me." Yet as the tender moment stirred between us and my body went glowy at his touch, it instantly disappeared as the familiar Flynn grin took hold of his face. "But next time just get in and get out and we don't have to see them again. Better to kiss the toads and have them gone from our sight, right?"

A groan left my mouth as I turned my head towards the approaching car—Aunt Jojo now in sight. "But there's still Luke," I muttered.

"We can come back to him towards the end... have a break from the boyssss." And Flynn did the stupid hand signal they always liked to do as if it emphasised their toxic masculinity.

I let out a snort in response as Jojo pulled to the curb.

Yet as I opened the passenger door to climb in, I heard Flynn mutter in a voice so low I don't think I was meant to hear it, "There's the smile I love."

I paused at the door while Flynn climbed into the back, my knees trembling from the words that rattled me to the core and had my face flushing.

Love?

Taking a deep breath, I climbed into the passenger seat, keeping my eyes fixated on the front, knowing there was no way I wanted to look at his face after he said something like that... just in case I started thinking I was seeing things I wanted to see—just like I did in the cubby.

"Did you have a good time?" Jojo asked.

But when I didn't respond, Flynn filled the air with his banter for me.

I don't know what he said to my aunt during that car ride. I was too focussed trying to bring air into my body before my face potentially melted off from the heat encompassing it. 

On trying to calm my racing heart that was trying to desperately to tell me I was falling for Flynn... or that I already had fallen for Flynn.

But if I was falling for him... wasn't this whole kiss list pointless? It was supposed to prepare me for Noah. 

So if I didn't like Noah anymore... shouldn't I just drop it?

But then another daunting reality hit me.

Firstly, Flynn and I were only hanging out so much because of the kiss list. If that was gone, all we had left were our classes and tutoring sessions—and Flynn didn't stick around much once we had finished the school work. With his grades on the rise, I was sure he was going to ask next term if we could drop them altogether so that he could have his evenings back.

So if I didn't have the tutoring or the kiss list... I would never see him. And I had grown too used to having him around, brightening my day. I didn't want to go back to a time pre-Flynn. He had become a constant I never knew I needed in my life.

But the second—and more important—thought haunting my mind what was the point in liking Flynn? 

While, with Noah, Lexi was convinced that he might like me based on how kind he was to me—and even I had noticed it had increased over the past few weeks—Flynn would never see me like that. 

I wasn't sure if Noah liked me... because it was all Lexi's speculation and my assumptions on his increased kindness in recent months.

But I knew for sure Flynn didn't have any feelings for me. 

Because he always said we were just friends. 

Because there was no shift in how he acted towards me. 

And, most prominently, even if he said things every now and then that moved my heart... what guy who actually likes a girl is okay with encouraging them to kiss other boys?

Besides, Callie, my mind tried to reason with me, You definitely like Noah. You liked him when he first arrived and you like him now. 

He's safer, familiar... And if Lexi is right and he has been extra sweet on you these days because he potentially feels the same way... Then I need to not mess up this opportunity.

But then shouldn't I just confess to Noah?  the other part of my brain countered. Tell him I like him and throw the kiss list altogether?

But I shook the thought away. Because I could... All of this would be over with a simple confession. Yet two realities haunted that decision: what if I was wrong... or worse, what if I was right?

If I was wrong, I'd be humiliated for confessing, and never be able to face Noah again. And the kiss list would still be over with, as per Lexi's bet. Which would mean less time with Flynn.

But if I was right... If Noah did like me, surely the next step is dating. Which means again, no more kiss list and... Dating Noah would mean I couldn't keep feeling these things for Flynn. 

Because that would be unfair to Noah.

Not that I was feeling anything for Flynn, of course.

In a final attempt to ditch Ashton from my life, I asked him at the end of the two-week Easter holidays if he wanted to go to the movies with me.

And as he responded with a list of people we could invite, I wrote back:

I was hoping it would be just us two...

Of course I added the ellipsis for extra effect.

It was very forward of me. But I was sick of playing this game with Ashton. Either he would kiss me or he wouldn't—I just knew I needed him gone and I could only accomplish that if we had a chance to be alone together.

And so my heart thudded loudly in my chest as I watched the dots appear and disappear as he typed his response.

Then finally, my phone dinged with:

I'd like that very much.

It was easy to tell he had made an effort. 

As I climbed out of my aunt's car—because no way was I going to let mum or dad drop me off on a date with a boy, only for them to bombard a guy I hoped to never see again after today except at school with questions they didn't need answers to—I noticed he had his best jeans on, a really nice shirt, and his hair looked like it had a touch of product in it.

"Hi," he said shyly as I approached him.

"Hey," I said back, looking everywhere but his eyes. 

Sure, I was nervous. It was my first date with a guy. 

But I was more nervous at how to get this over and done with without seeming too desperate—even though I totally was, though for different reasons than the usual implications that pertain to that phrase—than being anxious about whether he thought I was pretty or if I was being awkward.

"Shall we... head in?" he asked, hands awkwardly fidgeting at his side, like he wasn't sure if he should take my hand or not. But he decided on the not, thankfully.

I gave him a nod, and then followed a step behind him.

Ashton insisted in buying my food and ticket, which did make me feel a little guilty, even if he was a jerk—especially knowing I planned to ditch him if he kissed me today.

Then we headed into the cinema and took our seats.

We made awkward small talk—Ashton once again making a couple of remarks about Flynn and his cousins that made my stomach squirm with disgust. 

"It's like it's in their blood to steal," he said at one point, causing my fist to clench by my side as I tried my best to not punch him right in the nose.

But when the lights finally dimmed, Ashton pulled every ounce of courage he had within him and reached for my hand.

Fingers lacing together as the movie began, I did relish in this experience of holding a boy's hand while watching a movie.

Yet every time I glanced his way, and he shot me a small, anxious smile back, I kept thinking about who I wished was beside me right now. 

And it sent pangs through my heart.

When the movie was halfway through, I knew I was slowly running out of time. So in a desperate attempt to move things along, I rested my head on his shoulder.

He was quick to drop my hand, snaking his arm around me and pulling me closer.

And as the moments ticked on again, ever so slowly I turned my head until I was looking up at him.

Then, just like that, his eyes flickered down to my mouth as the screen lit up our faces. 

His eyelids slowly fluttered closed. 

And he leaned in, mouth pressing to mine.

Basically :'(