harry wakes up instantly, his heart pounding against his chest. he didn't have a nightmare or anything, just one of those dreams where you're falling, then wake up.

he looks around the room, the first thing he notices is that louis isn't in the bed, or the room. the comforter on his side of the bed is pushed to the side. even though it's now been three weeks since louis' nan died, he still gets worried, and jumps from the bed. last time louis broke down was scary for both of them.

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁

harry walks upstairs in louis' flat. he had been upstairs in his flat before. there's only his bedroom, a bathroom, and a smaller spare bedroom, up there. his place isn't big, but it isn't too small. it's perfectly functional and spacious enough for two people anyway.

louis isn't in his bedroom, yet the door is unlocked, which is something louis never does if he's not home. so he peeks in the spare bedroom, then bathroom, where he finds him sitting on top of the small counter, squished between the wall and sink.

he's been constantly checking up on him. it's only been a few days, and his nan was louis' second mother in his life. with his dad gone and his mum working all the time to keep up with things. so he knows louis' definitely going to be fragile to handle. he doesn't want something happening to him.

"lou?" he asks softly, leaning against the door frame. louis turns his head the tiniest bit, but keeps his eyes out the window. harry stalks up behind him, and slides his hand onto the mans hip. "what're you doin?" he mumbles.

louis leans into his touch a bit, "counting the cars that go by," harry can barely hear him, "uhm, i don't know what to do and I don't know how to handle this so i'm counting cars," his voice breaks, and he feels as though he's going to start sobbing, "and you lost my place."

harry frowns, "i... i'm sorry, babe."

louis doesn't say anything for a minute. he sits there with harry's hand caressing his hip. "harry i need you to leave, please," his lip is trembling, but harry can't see that, "because i need to cry and throw things and be crazy for a long moment and cry myself to sleep for once and i can't do it with you here," his voice gets high. harry can tell he's crying.

"louis. you can't handle this by yourself," he starts.

louis leans out of his touch, "please!" he exclaims, "please harry leave! i need to be alone!" he lowers his voice, feeling bad that he just yelled at harry, who has been so so perfect through this.

harry just nods though. a still nod as he takes a step back out of the bathroom. then two more, and all the way until he's out of the house. he waits outside in his car though. he doesn't dare leave. if louis does something to himself and he's not close enough to help than he'll hate himself.

the second louis hears the front door shut he lets out a loud wail, and his head falls to the side against the wall. he cries and cries, and after a time he goes into his room, tugging the sheets off the bed angrily and throws a book onto the ground. a few others fall off the shelf with the force he pulls it with. he pushes his work things off his desk, throwing down the chair as well. he takes stumbling steps, tugging at his hair and letting a long scream escape him. then, breaking down some more, he falls onto the ground in the mess of pillows and blankets and sheets. he lays there, curled up and sobbing horribly.

meanwhile, harry is outside. it's been twenty minutes, and knowing louis, he needs to get back inside. so he does. he does it quietly, and when he hears louis upstairs he goes up, not surprised at all when seeing the mess in the room. he sinks down besides the crying man and pulls him onto his lap, in his arms.

louis' hands grip harry's shirt tight, "don't leave m-me!" he sobs, "i-i'm s-sorry! so sorry! i l-love you! i've alw-ways loved y-you! j-just don't le-leave me please," his eyes are squeezed shut.

harry kisses the top of his head, "it's okay, baby, it's okay," he murmurs, holding the back of louis' head and rocking him back and forth. he holds him tight in his arms. "i'm not going anywhere. i love you too," he murmurs, rocking him back and forth.

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁

harry makes his way out of the bedroom, and down to the kitchen. he finds louis sitting with a cup of tea in his hands. louis smiles at him. "you're up early," harry says.

louis snorts, and jerks his head towards the clock. "you're up late," he tells him. harry looks at the time, and gasps.

"jesus! it's twelve already?! i have to go meet with the lads! shit!" he exclaims, running back into the bedroom and grabbing his phone from the side table. he texts niall saying that he may be running a bit late, and when louis comes into the room he turns around. "could i borrow a shirt?" he asks.

louis nods, "i didn't know you had to go somewhere. i wouldn't have let you sleep this late," he says as he pulls open one of the drawers and tosses harry a long sleeved tshirt.

"it's fine, lou. i forgot to set an alarm so i wouldn't sleep in. i usually don't, but i always set one anyways," he strips of his shirt, and slips louis' on instead. the pair of jeans he had on the day before are at the foot of the bed, so he just puts them back on after changing his boxers, something he actually remembered to bring. even if he does have a few clothes left here and there at louis' place. he knows he can't fit into louis' jeans. the older man has shorter legs and an ass that he can't quite fill.

harry pulls on a sweatshirt and slips his phone and wallet into the pocket. louis is leaning against the door frame, and he walks up to him. "do you want to come with me?" he asks, sliding his hand onto the mans waist.

"with the boys? as in niall and liam and zayn?" he questions. he looks conflicted when harry nods. "i don't know, harr. i haven't seen them in years. it'd be weird wouldn't it?"

harry shakes his head, "no, absolutely not. they all know that i've been with you the past month. they've been wanting to catch up, actually. they know how I've always felt about you even when we stopped talking all those years. so the fact that you make me happy makes them happy," he smiles.

louis does as well, "you're so cheesy," he grins.

"i know. now throw on some clean clothes real quick," he pats louis' bum, and watches him quickly change into jeans and a tshirt and sweatshirt. of course, adidas being the brand. once he's ready and harry's brushed his teeth, since he rushed right back into the bedroom to change before going to the bathroom when seeing the time.

they take harry's car. it's not that far of a trip, but it's not short either. another reason harry had wanted to set an alarm and leave earlier.

louis' nervous to the point where once they get to zayn's place, he stays in the car for a solid five minutes. but soon after harry pulls on his arm, and gets him to come out. they go up to the house together, and louis feels much better when seeing that the house is big, but not as huge and expensive as he thought. he isn't surprised that zayn doesn't have an overwhelming house.

harry walks right in, using his own key. his hand is in louis', who is walking a bit behind him on instinct. "harry?" someone calls, "it's either harry or perrie," louis recognizes it as niall's voice.

"it's harry and louis!" liam grins, zayn at his side, "how are you?!" they both walk towards louis, each giving him a hug

"it's been years!" zayn comments.

louis puts on a smile, "yeah, been a long time. you guys are doing... so well," he shakes his head.

niall snorts from where he's leaning over the counter facing them, but comes around to hug louis as well, "that's not what we wanna talk about, lad. harry says you're a school teacher?" he asks, "that's pretty sick. i mean coming from someone who only has a tenth grade education but still, you know. people say the teaching business is hard, yeah?"

harry guides louis into the kitchen, "the only hard thing is finding a place to teach, and getting students to not hate you," he chuckles, "i think the fact that i know you lot helps. most of my students all know we were all on xfactor together. not to mention harry showing up unannounced at the school one day," he points out.

"how in the world did that go?" zayn takes a sip of his beer.

"what'd ya mean by that? nothing extreme happened!" harry pouts.

louis smiles, "students crowded around his car. i had to persuade them with less work for them to move enough to even get out of the parking lot," louis raises his eyebrows at harry, who shrugs as if it's not a big deal.

"well, we're glad to see you back, louis," zayn nods in all seriousness.

"he's right. we were all close on the show, we've missed you. sucks ass that harry didn't get in touch with you a million years ago instead of like yesterday," niall exaggerates.

liam chuckles to himself, "if anything simon should have just put all of us five in a band together. that would've been somethin cool," he shrugs.

zayn furrows his eyebrows, "yeah, sounds cool," he sets his drink down, checking his phone, "oh, perrie says she's here. go get the other cases of beer? we never put em in the refrigerator," he calls to niall while walking out. the blonde sighs, and pulls liam along to help.

harry squeezes louis' hip, "for the record, i wouldn't change anything. i'm glad things turned out like this. if things were different we may not of gotten back together," he mutters to him.

louis smiles, but then cocks his head and looks at harry, "gotten back together," he raises his eyebrows, "is that your way of finally asking me to be your boyfriend?"

harry bites his lip, "that depends if it's a yes or no," he says sheepishly.

louis smirks, "why would it ever be a no?" he jokes.

harry grins, "yay," he mumbles, going to kiss his boyfriend.

louis laughs, pecking his lips, "bout time hot-shot," he jokes, pinching his bicep.

-

eh shitty ending but it'S OKAY BC I FINALLY UPDATED WOAH