*Soleil*
Finally the last exam is over and I actually graduated, saved by english and math, without Zac I would have failed miserably. In more than one way, because I had studied my ass of the last week trying not to think about him. I hurry out the School, finally free, the summer in front of me. I don't have to see..

"Sol, hey Soleil wait". I hear someone call behind me.

Oh shit, it's Zac ! I panic, trying to pretend that I didn't hear him.

"Hey wait a minute". Zac and his damn long legs catch up easily. "Hey come on Sol, wait a moment".

"What ?" I stop, looking defiantly at him.

"Uhm I just wanted to wish you a good holiday and such". He suddenly looks hesitant, like he regrets stopping me. Gone is the confident Zac.

"Oh Well thank you Zac, you too". I bite him of and turn to walk away.

He quickly catch up again on the trail behind the church. "I am leaving for the hike soon Sol". He says, but I keep walking. "Please stop, I want to..".

"Want to what ?". I stop and glare at him as angrily as I can manage.

"Listen; I know I have been an idiot. Do you think it has been easy for me ?" My glare softens as I hear the desperation in his voice. "I would wish this was different". His eyes is just as sad as when I visited his house. "Things are just very complicated right now".

"I don't know what you are talking about. You don't have to explain anything. We were done with the homework, so there was nothing more to it". I won't let him hurt me again.

He looks very surprised. "So that's it, it was nothing else to you ?"

I am hesitating, but then I remember how deeply he hurt me. "Look I get it okay. You were grateful for my help and thought you would be nice and give the poor awkward nerdy girl a kiss as a thank you". I have to go away, my throat is closing up and tears are threatening. Why did he have to come bother me, I had been doing so well.

"Could you please stop trying to walk away, and just listen ?" He grabs my hand gently, as I try to leave again.

I pull my arm loose. "What do you want Zac ? Do you want me to say that it was totally okay for you to pretend we had something and let me feel like a complete idiot outside Your door". I can't stop the tears any longer and I dry them of with my sleeve.

"The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you". He seems caught of guard, and gently pulls me aside to let two other students pass. "Oh shit Sol, don't cry". He desperately tries to dry the tears away, but new ones keep springing fromme eyes. "It wasn't supposed to be like this at all". He takes my face between his hands, his eyes locking into mine.

"No need to apologise; I'll be okay". I sniffle.

"I can see that". One of those cute lopsided smiles appears. "Believe me, I have been just as upset. I did mean every word I said that day, it wasn't a lie".

"Why are you telling me all of this now ?" I ask balling my fists, to keep them still. My fingers are tingling to get wrapped around his neck, so I can press myself into him. Him being so close to me has that effect, along with the painful look in his eyes.

He sigh, letting me go. "Because I am leaving in a couple of days". He say sounding totally disheartened, looking back down the path, like he is checking if someone is there. "And I don't know if I am coming back".

My head snaps up. "Not.. not coming back ?"

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye". He looks at me, his eyes begging. "Sol they told me at the family dinner after I left you. They are talking about moving to Scotland, to were my uncles used to live. My father and the others can get work there. So we are going there to look at school for my brothers and things like that. That's why I stayed away, I didn't want to hurt you by starting something and then have to leave".

"Start what ?" I whisper.

Without answering he places his hand on my cheek and look at me so lovingly, my breath catches in my throat. The warmth and his well known scent makes me shiver.

"So it's not that you don't care about me ?" My eyes are trying to focus, my inside is a mess and I feel a bit lightheaded.

He shakes his head and his face lights up in one of those glorious smiles I can't resist. "I have tried, but I can't stop thinking of you; I told you that". His laughter is a bit hoarse. "Hey I thought you didn't care about me, all I have seen of you lately is Your back".

I hikse out a choked up laugh.

"I don't know what is going to happen Sol. But I just wanted us to be okay before I go". He scrunch up his forehead. "I am going to think of you all the time, how it could.. should have been, if just..".

"If just we could have been together ?"

"Yes". He say softly, then he lowers his head and kisses me. As he pulls me into him I can feel how much I missed him. His desperate kisses telling me that he feels the same. But the moment is bittersweet; I enjoy being in his strong arms again, but the knowledge that this could be the last time I see him, makes me hold onto him harder, in a desperate attempt to make the moment last.

Reluctantly he lets go of my lips in the end, after about twenty minutes. "I'll do anything I can to get back to you". He whispers, voice laced with pain, as he holds me as close to him as he can. "I have to go. I hate it so much, but I have to leave now".

"This is not fair Zac". I sob, the tears flowing down my face.

"I know". His eyes are shining much more green than usually, bright with unshed tears, that he clearly fights. "I should have let you be. I was selfish in needing to see you, to hold you one last time. I am so sorry Sol". He lets go, and run back towards the school.

I hide my face in my hands, sobbing out all the pain. When the wind hits me with a rather hard blow through the trees, I look up and the sprint the rest of the way home.