*Soleil*
Well I guess Davina is going to be right. The longer time that passes, the easier it gets to get through the days. When I think about Zac I used to get this pain in my chest, it made it hard to breathe, but now it has been replaced by a dull aching. Now when I have given up on ever hearing from him again, I prefer the numbness, that has taken over my body again.

There is a sound from my phone and the nightstand, it is probably Divina and her daily temperature taking of my mental health, I bring my legs down from the windowsill and walk to the table. 'Hi Sweetie just wanted to remind you about my invitation. We would be so happy if you would come by, just write me back when you can and tell me, so I know how many we will be. Hugs Mark'.

Damn I forgot everything about Mark. I had even forgotten my own birthday, it's on Friday, Friday is the day after tomorrow. My first thought is to say no, but then I come to think about how Wicca and Mark had saved me the first time I went down because of Zac. Maybe this summer wiccan party was just what I need.

'Hi Mark, I would really like to come. What time is it and where ?' I put down the mobile and walk out into the kitchen, were my mom is cooking dinner. We are going to have a nice dinner today, as she is of work for once.

"Hi sweetie, good thing you came out, we are going to eat in a minute". My mum answers from the stove.

"I want to hear if we have any plans for Friday ?" I ask.

"I'm not that old young lady, I can remember the day I gave birth to you". She laughs.

I push out a smile, it looks like my mom is looking more forward to it than I am.

"Well I was thinking if it's okay that I go out with some friends for a party instead ? I mean we are having my birthday party nn Saturday". I ask very carefully.

She look up from the steaks. "Is it Zac who has invited you ?"

I breathe out and force a smile. "No, and I'm not going to hear from him again it's just Mark who has invited me". I wonder what she would say if I had said: 'I'm just going out in the woods, dancing around naked with flowers in my hair and pray to a heden Good, you got no problem with that, do you mom ?'

"Are you sure it's a good idea ? We are going to get up early saturday". My mum ask.

"I just need to get out and get something else to think about". I say with a slight shrug. Something else, means something else than Zac and my mum knows this. It's kind of a cowardly card to pull, but it is true, kind of. I want to have something else to think about.

"Okay then, it's not every day you turn 18 after all". She smiles at me in that mom way, that tells me she is going to say what she says every year. "Oh wow I can't believe it's 18 years since you were born".

"Yup, I'm officially a grown-up and I can wote and everything". I sent her a happy smile and give her a big hug. "Thank your mummy for understanding".

We sit for long time talking after we have eaten the dinner. it's a long time ago we have had time to just sit and talk. It's actually nice I think, even if my mum is clearly avoiding a touchy subject.

"Mom please stop, you don't have to treat me like I'm made of glass any longer". I say when I can't take it any longer.

"What do you mean ?" She takes a sip of her glass and try to look like she doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"As I said earlier, Zac is long gone and I'm okay with it. I just want to get on with my life and preferably without any guys in it".

"Oh baby". She looks at me worried. "I wish I could help you. I hate to see you this hurt. But you can't give up because of one fool. There will be more headaches out there you have to get through and one day when you least expect it, there he is, the right one".

"Davina said the same but it's not worth it. No, no more guys for me, I'm actually considering joining a convent, if I can find a place where they allow Iphones". I get up and start cleaning the table.

When I have done the dishes I'll go back to my room and check my phone to see if Mark has answered. I have to messages and the first one is from Mark as expected. 'Perfectly, We are meeting up on the last parking lot outside Oak grove, 5 o'clock. You don't have to bring anything. we got it all'.

'Okay see you tomorrow'.

The other one is from Davina. 'Can you call or text me when you have time. I've got a birthday present for you. I am worried about you doll'.

'Well I'm okay. I can come by tomorrow afternoon. See you then'. I put away the phone and get ready for bed.

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It is sunset, but not the same time as it usually is when my dreams begin. The ground beneath my bare feet are damp and the cold wind caresses me, giving me the chills. The full moon is already high on the horizon and it's pale light shines over the treetops.

This time there is no creatures in the stones or anywhere else. I'm sitting all alone on the small hill in the stone circle.

I realise, that I am singing an unknown song. I lift my hand and a wind starts to turn like a small tornado in front of me. It gains strength or fall down as soon as I wish for it and when I get up, lifting both hands over my head, it turns into a full tornado, filling the entire stone circle. I am singing at the top of my lungs and they wind is roaring around me as I stand in it's quiet eye. Energy feeding the wind, beams from me. A power giving me an indescribable feeling of might. I get an urge to see how far I can go, how much power I can tame.

This is when a bone chilling roar breaks through the wind, I stop singing and the tornado immediately dies down. There is sound of things breaking and from the trees a giant wolf emerge. It's teeth are showing and the dark fur is stribed with fresh blood. I know I should be scared, but I realise I'm calm and ready to face it.

Slowly the wolf starts to turn, a grotesque sight where the tendons and bones writhe and turn. It gets onto two legs, reaching for me and trying to get to me. When the stone circle stops it, it roars in anger and throw itself again and again against the invisible wall. I recognise it's roar. It is one of the two monsters I've seen in all my dreams, but were before I only saw a shadow of this creature it is now completely clear in front of me, a freak starting to take the form of a human, a werewolf.

The monster gives up on getting through the wall and try to dig its way under the stone circle with its big claw. When it realises that this is impossible too, it's throws back it's head, letting out a long frustrated howl and turning its eyes on me. The whole time this enormous creature is staring directly at me, while pacing back and forth on the other side of the border.

Even if the monster is almost half a metre taller than me, I still don't fear it. I walk slowly and composed to the edge, composed I meet the green eyes staring at me, filled with hatred. With a high and clear voice I start singing for the wind while reaching my hands towards the sky. I am ready to take the fight. The wind blows up when I close my eyes and sing out and unknown song.

The power beams through my body and the feeling of power gives me the strength to feed the wind. The monster roars in anger, but it can't break my concentration and I keep singing.

I quickly open my eyes and reach my hands out in front of me. The wind is at my beck and call and sends a hurricane towards the beast. It tries to hold on to the ground, but its claws are changing into human nails and is no longer able to dig into the dirt. In the end it loses its hold and is torn away by the storm. I just exactly see the last patch of fur fall of the body, revealing the skin of a man underneath, before he disappear between the dark trees.

I fight to get free of my blanket, gasping for air. Those dreams are going to kill me soon. I got to find out what they mean or I'll go crazy. The monsters are taking up more and more space, blocking out the peaceful feeling the dreams start with. It didn't make any sense at all. Is my subconsciousness trying to tell me that I should make a horror movie or what ?

Contrary to the other times I have awoken from my dreams, I can't sleep again and I just lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling. A growing uncomfortable grabs me and I have a feeling that I am overlooking something. Like a word that is right there on Your lips I feel like the explanation to my dreams is just beyond my reach.

The wind. There is something in the wind too.