*Soleil*
"That's it ! I am never gonna learn this. So if I am not to get a melt down we need to stop now". I get out through gritted teeth and exhausted huffs. I have just ended on the ground for only God knows which time after trying to jump. I have done my best and nada is happening". I point to my sweaty and sore body.

Gudrun straightens up and looks at Marta who sighs. "Alright then, five minutes break. Then I come with something else for you to do".

"What just happened ?" I say, letting Gudrun pull me to my feet.

"You are fighting, you are doing Your best. Marta knows that and she is just at frustrated that she can't help you over Your barrier". Gudrun answers.

"Barrier ?"

"Sol, you have the ability in you. You have to believe. Maybe you just need to focus on something else than staff training. Sometimes the solution comes unexpected". She sends me a friendly smile.

Marta come back out with a big painting and a rolled up poster. "Forgive me brother, but sister Sol here need Your help". She hammers a nail into a tree, hanging up the painting and stick the poster on top of it".

Both me and Gudrun breaks down in giggles.

She turns and walks towards us, a lopsided grin on her face. "Yeah I know, not the best likeness, but this will have to do". She nods towards the poster from 'The wolfman' and hands me a small leather pouch. "Here".

I open it and scrunch my brow when I see the purple ampuls with the poison.

"Don't worry, it's just coloured water, to see how good you hit". Marta explain and step aside. "Now try and see if you can hit him from here".

I carefully pull out one and throw it like a dart after the picture. It just graces the lower left corner, but it just fall dead on the ground, still intact.

"Come on; more power. They are made of glass, you need to break them". Gudrun calls out to me.

"But are they even going to break ? When they hit a body I mean". I ask.

"Sure the bitter galdr the real ones are closed with will make sure they do break on impact". Marta say.

"And those beasts have muscles of pure steel". Gudrun giggles.

"When you are using these you need to remember that the high hamram are very smart and very fast. They are not going into the same trap twice, so you need to always be one step ahead. Can I borrow the pouch ?" Marta holds out her hand and I quickly hand it to her. "This poison gives us an advantage. It will make them unfocused and slow them down, but if you only throw one you are almost sure to miss. They are simple to darn fast". Marta turns towards the poster, taking an ampul into each hand as she throws both of them at the same time.

The first one hits the wolfman in the face, the second flies pats the frame but it still breaks.

"This throw works if you know which side the hamram is going to move to. We never know, so we always throw three at a time". She pulls three new ampuls. She whispers again, as she swing right, then left and then right hand again.

This time one hits right in the middle of the poster and the other two breaks on the frame on each side of the poster.

"Wow". I had hoped that this would finally be something easy for me to practise, but I already know it won't.

"One on each side and one in the middle ups Your chances of hitting with at least one. Remember you might only get one chance. Next time he will know as soon as you reach for the pouch. Even if they can't smell us, they know the scent of aconite and as I said, they rarely fall for the same trick twice". Marta hands me back the pouch. "But start with throwing one, when you can hit with that you can move on to throwing two and three". She sends me a warm smile. "I'll go get some more".

"What was she whispering ?" I ask Gudrun after Marta has left, as I try throwing an ampul, it flies by the target.

"It was her galdr. Her personal song. It is different from the one we use in the circle". Gudrun answers. "It strengthens her seiðr".

With a grunt I throw a new ampul. This one hits the corner of the painting and breaks. I can't help letting out a cheer. "Why haven't you teaches me that yet then ?" I take up the last ampul, it also breaks against the frame.

"Nice throw". Gudrun say sitting down. "Come sit next to me". She pads the grass and I come sit down. "We have been so busy training all the practical things that you need to know. To protect you against the dark one. But seiðr is much more than fighting the enemy". She closes her eyes and puts her hands on the grass. "Try doing just like me and tell me what you feel".

I do as she tells me. For a while I am just feeling the grass, before answering. "It is soft and cool. It tickles".

"Try and imagine how that tuft of grass came to be. How the universe send stardust and made the possibility for our earth to be. How fertiliser and rain made the small seed grow. And the sun nurtured it, so now you can put Your hand upon it. Open up Your senses and try feeling the grass again". Gudrun says in a warm low tone. "Open Your mind down into the ground and up in the sky. What do you feel now ?"

I close my eyes, feeling the sun on my skin, how the dampness from the ground makes me cold. I run my fingers over the grass and reach out to feel. "It is like I can feel every straw now. I can feel ..". I stiffen.

"Don't try to hold onto reality. Just feel and tell me. No matter how silly you think it sounds". Gudruns voice is soft and encouraging.

"They are not the same length. Some of them are dying and others has just been born". I say hesitantly.

"And how can you say that by just touching them ?" She asks.

For a moment I let my hands slide over the grass again. Below me weak rhythmical sounds starts to hum, one by one.

"I can feel them all.. all of them.. every single one. When I touch them I know who they are. They are showing me". I look up, letting my eyes slide over the trees. "Them too, the trees over there". Amazed I stare at the new World opening to me. "It is weird; I mean I always thought you were talking to nature, but I didn't know it was talking back. It is like pictures kind of, like I know exactly how long that tree has been there".

The trees start whispering along with the grass. I stand up, looking around feeling like I just arrived on a whole new planet. Gudrun laughs and get up next to me. "Or like they share their memories, like the vaetter".

"Exactly like that yeah. But why haven't you taught me earlier ? This is awesome". I smile.

"You have so many things to learn and the most important was for you to defend yourself". Gudrun say.

I no longer listen to her, but stand enchanted and listens to the surroundings that sings to me like they had done in my dreams.

"What is this ?" Martha comes out of the door.

Gudrun smiles and stretches out her hands. "She asked what you whispered."

"Now I know why you asked forgiveness of the tree. I thought it was the fairies you talked to, but it was the tree itself right ?" I ask her, feeling overjoyed.

Marta nod. "We do not need more ampoules right now." She laughs shaking her head. "Come on, now I'll show you our world". Gudrun smiles.

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"Honestly it is rather overwhelming". I say as we enter the circle. "I am starting to get a headache from all these voices". I rub my forehead. The trees, the grass and the flowers all have their own sound.

"Lets go sit down. And I'll teach you to turn it all off again". Gudrun picks a spot where the sun has been shining the whole day and the ground is nicely warm. "Close Your eyes and try to imagine that you are taking all the impressions and collect it in a ball, pushing it away from you".

"I have tried that. It's like grounding yourself right ?" I remember it from the magic circle in my room. And moments later I got a ball of light hanging in front of me, humming slightly. "I Think I got it". I focus to keep it. "What now ?"

"Try making it smaller and slowly push it into the ground". Gudrun say.

I focus the best I can, pushing all the sounds into the ball, and as they enter the ball and I slowly shrink it, the volume turns down. With shaking hands I push it down, and see it disappear bit by bit underground... Immediately everything goes silent and I open my eyes. The trees are just trees nodding in the wind, and the grass is no longer whispering.

"That was indescribable". I sigh, feeling very moved. "But damn I am tired now".

"It will get easier with time. But it takes a lot of power and energy". Gudrun say. "But don't worry, you can heal yourself through your galdr".

"Heal ?" I lift up my shirt. "All my bruises are gone".

"It is the galdr that has healed you". Gudrun laugh softly. "Up here we unlimited access to the power. That is were we draw our seiðr from when we fight the hamram".

"The hamram". I feel less enthusiastic all of a sudden.

Gudrun looks at me for a moment. "You know what ?" She starts.

"No what ?"

"Sometimes the calling gets to much for me too and then I need to be reminded what an amazing gift it also is". She runs her fingers over the grass and look up at the trees. "Then I go here to sing, it always lifts my spirits". She stops and look at me. "Do you want to see something really cool ?"

"You mean more cool than this ?" I am not sure I believe that it is possible.

Gudrun just smile and hold up her hands. She starts singing softly and sway from side to side. I brush a butterfly away that comes to close to my face. When I look after it I notice more. From everywhere butterflies flock to Gudrun and before I can phatom it she has hundreds swirling around her.

"Oh my God". I whisper.

"It's crazy right ?" Gudrun opens her eyes but continue singing. She raises her hand and a flock of butterflies instantly land on it. "The animals is also part of the balance. We can hear them just as the plants".

Gudrun stops singing, and the butterflies fly away. Soon we are alone and it kind of feel like a dream. "Does it work on big animals too, like could I tame a lion ?"

"It takes a lot of practise and it is very dangerous if you fail". She says strictly, then she smiles. "But yeah. I Tried once with a bear. And Well we can sometimes get into a hamrams head, force it back to human form, but only if we have time".

We spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the forest and the plants and animals in it. I really enjoy learning this and for once feeling happy.

"You never told me the galdr Marta used ?" I say as we walk back to the cabin.

Gudrun laughs. "It's all I have done all Day. The words you use doesn't matter. It is only a tool to get in contact with Your powers and with nature. It is nature and our kin and helping spirits that allows us to use the power, the words are just the switch".

"You mean it is like a placebo for my head, to open up for the power ?" I ask.

"Yeah you can say that. You are cheating you brain into thinking the words have the power. But it is Your own powers you activate". Gudrun explains. "You have seen that I get premonitions right ? Now you know how I receive them, it is the connection between everything living that sends it to me".

"That is why Siri said I should sing from my heart the first time in the circle, when I met the vaetter". I realise that we have been working towards this the whole time.

"If we had asked you to feel the balance through nature that first day, you would have tried to hard and it would never had come to you. Siri told that you were singing with the trees in Your dream, so we knew it would come with time". She put her arm around my shoulder.

I send her a tired smile and she laughs. "I Think it is enough for now, you are looking totally crossed eyed".