*Soleil*
"Here". Gudrun hands me a small drawstring bag made from rabbit fur. "I made it for you".

Carefully I open it, pulling out a white piece of fabric. It is a rune cloth like the one Gudrun has. I look at her with surprise. "Is this for me ?"

She nod looking very excited. "You need one for Your runes.. you need to make them first though".

Then she starts teaching me about the 24 different runes, all taken from the old Nordic alphabet the futhark. How they are separated in 3 different houses and what the different ones represent.

After almost an hour Gudrun looks at me. "Are you with me so far ?"

"Yeah I think so.. all those choices and paths, it kind of like with us right.. our path, our choices and the things we have to go through to become a vǫlva right ?" I say.

"Actually yes. It is the same for everyone getting the calling. We sacrifice our ordinary lives and the bliss of ignorance so to speak" she says.

"And what do we get ?"

"The calling my dear. seiðr and galdr". Gudrun smiles. "And the connection to the helping spirits and the balance. It doesn't come for free being blessed with a deeper meaning of life. It is our wisdom".

"I still fail to see our prize". I mumble.

"It will come; just you wait. There is so much more to the calling than fighting the hamram". Gudrun tells me, before continuing her lessons.

"Wow". When she is done I look at Gudrun full of admiration. She makes it Sound so easy. I look at the runes and sigh. "How do I ever learn all that in such a short time ?"

Gudrun lets out a small laugh and push a small handwritten book over to me. "Did you really think that is all ? This book explain all the runes much deeper and more detailed. It will take you years to fully understand. Marta and Siri prefers to let me read theirs instead of throwing them themselves".

"But they are.. I mean Marta is older than you, isn't she ?" Her and especially Siri must have had more time to practise". I say confused.

"No she is almost 10 years older than me". Gudrun answers. "But remember my kin, the lantern man, he granted me power to better understand the runes and still I can use a lot of time reading and understanding them".

"Why is that ? I mean when you know them all, then you can just read them right ?" I study the little stones on the table.

Gudrun goes to the pantry and comes back with a burner. Do you remember the three runes I threw for you, how they changed every time I turned a new one ? Each one is connected to the others. If you throw more runes it gets more detailed but also harder to read and easier to misunderstand. I always write down what I asked about and the runes, so I Can go back and see if I read them right". Her eyes shines with passion. "I still learn".

When Gudrun leaves me, telling me to get to know the runes. i start burning them into the little pieces of wood I had made. It reminds me of back in craft class in School were I had used one of these to make a name sign for my father. Life had been so much simpler then. But then I remember, I had been sitting alone making a name sign because my father had just died and I wanted him to have a name sign in heaven so the other angels would know his name. How could I forget ?

I look at the rune I am burning, it kind of look like a golf flag. I remember that one wynn, it represent happiness. It almost look like thurs. I pick up the thurs rune and place it next to Wynn. Happiness and Jötnar. The flag on the thurs is only half raised. It is Tjalfe's rune, a sign of chaos and destruction. I am not naive. I know he is capable of destroying everything around him and that he makes the big storms I see on tv - he kills people. It is just very difficult to see this powerful being and not the loving kin that has become such an important part of my life, especially when he holds me and comforts me.

I pack up my runes, and walk over to Siri and Marta. "I have made all my runes. Is it okay if I go to my room at read a bit about them ?"

Everyone is tired know and Siri and Marta has been talking about how to do from here. Siri looks up. "That Sound like a good idea. From tomorrow we will go fully in on the fight training the last couple of days before we go home. And then we all need a vacation. Next full moon I go alone".

"But what about the high one from last time ?" I ask.

"We can't see him any longer. It is only at their first change they are visible to us. Gudrun will have a premonition if he or the man he was with becomes a danger to us in the future. But we are going to look, just in more conventional ways. Gudrun has Great connections elsewhere than with the runes". Siri smiles. "If I see any new ones I will contact you right away".

When I get into my room I see a new message on my phone. Zac, the butterflies go ballistic in my stomach. I totally forgot to write him back. 'Are you okay Sol ? Can I come by or ?'

What am I to answer him ? Then I remember I never told him the official story. Shit ! He doesn't know. 'Hi Zac. Sorry I haven't answered you before now. I am in Ghana, so won't be home before about a week'.

I close my eyes and push the little envelope . It doesn't take many seconds before the phone starts vibrating in my hand and his warm eyes smiles at me from the screen. I panic and is about to reject the call, but for some reason my finger push the green button.

"Hi". I say, my heart trying to choke me by beating in my throat.

"Ghana ? As in Africa ? You never mentioned anything about that". His voice sounds in her ear.

"I..". She is unable to say anything else. All the feelings for him blossom up and she feels a pang in her heart when she remembers how broken she had been when he left. "Well you weren't there. I needed to get away". I answer through clenched teeth.

"I know". Zac sigh. "I just had to go. But it is over now. We are not leaving anyway; my father has gotten a job in town".

"So you are staying in School ?" I ask stupidly.

"I hope so". He laugh softly, but then he turns serious again. "So much has happened while I was gone. But I have been thinking of you.. quite a lot actually".

I realise that I haven't been thinking as much about him as I thought I would. I have been to busy, to stressed. "Zac.. I..". I bite my lip.

"Sol, I know I fuck up totally and that I probably don't deserve another chance. But.. arg fuck". He curses when the words fail him.

"It is.. it might not be.. the time is probably not right". I mumble.

"No, I get it". He answers sadly. "And you don't have to decide now. But I am not going anywhere. It was just that I wanted to tell you. And I am going to write you every day until you get home. Then maybe we can meet up one day and.. talk about it all".

I press my eyes hard together and grind my teeth not to scream. Everything I have been dreaming of for so long is getting served up for me right now - why now when I can't just say yes ? "Zac, it is ..".

"I don't care what happened. I just know that.. fuck it, I miss you okay ?i miss you so much and I am willing to do anything to get you back or what you would call it.. and now I better hang up before I make a complete ass of myself with stupid..".

"I miss you too". It just jump out of me. The second I have said it I regret. The World that he is a part of, the person he knows me as, none of them exists any longer. There is no use in dreaming of being normal. "But quite a lot happened for me too since.. I left. I just don't know if it is a good idea for us to see each other". The words sounds way to harsh and for a moment the ring out in my head as I realise that I don't mean them at all. I am burning to see him. What am I to do ?

"No you are probably right.. I is probably a bad idea". He say slowly. For a while none of say anything, then I hear him curse low to himself. His voice suddenly has an edge. "I am so damn tired of doing the right thing Sol. Aren't you ?"

"Yes". I whisper.

"Listen.. I don't expect you to.. Well I don't expect shit. But I am not giving up, not before you look me in the eyes and tell me to go to hell. So I am going to write you all the time. As I should have been doing from the beginning. And when you get home I am going to come by. I just want to see you, okay ?"

"Okay". I sigh softly. "But Zac I need to get to bed now. I am totally busted".

"Yeah, okay, sure". He apologises. "Sleep well. I am writing you tomorrow".

"You too. Night".

"Night Sol".