*Soleil*
For the first time since I arrived in Scotland I dream. But this is a brand new dream. It is everything mixed together. Warm hazel eyes and a beautiful smile is mixed up with wolves howling. Fairies and trolls shows up, twirling me around and beautiful elves tries to get me to follow them.

A person wearing a vǫlva cape and having a staff in her hand steps up next to me. She turns to look at me - it is me, or me as I can become if I follow the road the vǫlva me starts to walk. I take a step after the other me, but stops.

Behind me the warm eyes has turned into Zac, he is standing on the edge of the forest, reaching for me. Ecstatic I run towards him, wanting to throw myself into his open arms. But for every step I move away from my other self, I feel loss and sorrow. I stop again, caught between the two roads I can take. None of them wants to follow me in the other direction. I have to choose one of them.

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When the alarm clock rings I reluctantly open my eyes. Honestly it has to be a mistake, it can't be morning already. I am sure I just closed my eyes like 5 min ago. But the numbers on the alarm clock tells it is 7 am and time for my morning run.

"Morning sleepyhead, time to get up and get those running shoes on". Gudrun comes crashing in smiling brightly.

"Very funny". I answer grumpily and yawn. "Couldn't we sleep in like just once in a while ? I am a teenager I am supposed to sleep all day". I swing my legs out of bed, and pull on my sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

"Come on, you have already improved so much". Gudrun say, waving me with her.

I don't know what have changed, for once I am able to follow them, and we reach the halfway point and start to stretch I haven't stopped once. "Don't look so surprised". Marta say with a rare smile. "I told you that you would get it one day".

It is first when we reach the cabin, I feel the normal burning in my legs, as I throw myself in a chair, gasping for air.

"You didn't stop at all today, big improvement". Gudrun laughs, and start down another path with Marta. "See you in about an hour".

Siri comes out, handing me a bottle of water, which I gratefully grab. Then she starts asking me about different plants and herbs and their uses, it is hard to get the brain up in gear after the run. But I like this, it is interesting.

After about an hour Siri smile at me. "I think next step is for you to train some more with Your kin and tonight Gudrun will start teaching you runes". Siri pads my leg and get up to go back to the cabin. "Good work my girl".

I get up and walk down to the lake. I haven't been down there since I helped clean up after my melt down. Truth is that I am afraid to face what I have done. Walking down there I stare at the ground in front of me. My cheeks are burning and I fear the feelings connected to this place. When I reach the end of the bridge I finally lift my head, but my courage fail and I close my eyes.

You are a vǫlva Sol. You are to fight huge wolf men and you are scared of a lake. It's time to grow a pair !

I take a deep breath and hold it in. First I open one eye and see only dark water, but when I open the other a fish swim past, almost like a sign. Thank God I haven't killed all the fish. Relieved I look up and I can't believe my eyes. All traces of my hissy fit is gone. The bare spot is already covered by new luscious green grass. Hadn't I known how It looked before I would never know something had happened.

"Brothers and sister I greet you and thank you for your help". I call over the water.

An eagle scream and takes flight from a tree and a fish jumps out of the water for an answer. I laugh feeling freed of my guilt, the balance is indeed a powerful force. I breathe in the fresh lake air and nod to myself.

I am ready.

"Tjalfe ?" I call out and look around, but he is nowhere to be seen. "Tjalfe ? Where are you kin ?" I call worried.

The wind start moving around me and out in the water a small whirlwind appear. "Isn't this much more us ?"

I jump slightly when he suddenly stands beside me, like he has been there the whole time. My voice is a bit sharp, because I was worried. "Where were you ?"

When he turns towards me he has a look on his face I have never seen before. "I am a Jötnar". He say in a low voice, leaning closer. "I am not Your slave".

I take a step back, suddenly feeling scared and swallow hard. What is this ? He usually makes jokes of everything, kept things light and informal, so what is this pissing of the territory thing ?

With a resigned sigh he sit down on the bridge. "The dark one has started to move. They just don't know if they want to intervene yet". Tjalfe grinds his teeth. "It just pisses me of that I am being tagged here and can't do a damn thing".

"It's because of me isn't it ?" I ask carefully.

His voice turns soft. "It's not Your fault. I fucked up when I let you run amok. I should have known better, but it is my nature to be a bit reckless and wild. It was kind of cool sharing that with you, you know showing you a bit more of me". He shrugs. "So Your punishment is my punishment too. So because I was vain and let you destroy the lake we have been benched for the big game if it ever gets to that".

A glance at him as he sits there pouting. "Me, me, me. Whine, whine, whine". I say, laughing at his expression. I can see he is about to argue, but the. He cracks up, laughing out laugh.

"Maybe it is a good thing that I am not in charge. I am not alway to good at remembering the big picture". He say getting up. "What about we take those powers you have left and kick some ass ?"

"That's a date". He hold out his hand and I grab it, letting him pull me to my feet.