Chapter 18 - Get The Prince

After a while we get back to the stables because it’s late and I don’t know about him, but I’m knackered. It’s been a long day and I need my sleep if I want to work tomorrow. Not that I want to but I have to. Once we’re at the stables we remove the tacks to then lead the horses to their stalls so they can have rest.

“Thank you, Ella,” Niall tells me as we make our way out of the stables. “It really helped and it was nice.”

“No problem,” I reply with a smile but I lose it as we get closer to the main building. “I guess I see you around and good luck with Zoe.”

“Wait,” he stops me when I try to leave him behind. “Won’t I see you tomorrow? At the stables?”

I blink in surprise although a part of me was secretly waiting for this, but still. I don’t really know what will happen between him and Zoe, what his decision will be, but I don’t think spending time with him, alone, at night, is a good idea.

“Please,” he adds when I haven’t said anything yet.

“Maybe,” I reply and I know he’s not pleased because his smile is not honest, but that’s all I can promise for now. “Goodnight, Niall.”

“Goodnight, Ella,” he says and I turn around and run. It’s not like I’m running out of time or anything, but it feels right to run when I have my heart beating this way, when I have a funny feeling in the pit of my guts and when I know he’s still standing where I left him, watching me disappear.

I honestly don’t know what’s happening with me but I certainly never felt like this before. It’s like the fact he’s a mega celebrity doesn’t matter anymore. I mean, yeah, I still have that voice in my head and Rhonda’s face smiling at me, but it’s not as present as it is when I’m near any other celebrity. Even Harry, who’s probably the only celebrity I actually like in the whole world. The problem with Niall is that he’s Niall, he still has this thing going on with Zoe.

I believe him when he says he doesn’t love her anymore and I know I don’t know the full story, how it was before and how it started to break, but I know I helped to get to that state. He came here, to this retreat centre to fix his relationship but instead he is trying to find Mystery Girl, AKA me, and spending time with me, AKA Mystery Girl, at the stables when he should spend that time with Zoe. I know it’s self-centred to feel responsible, but I can’t help it, and I want to make amends for this mess I’ve made. That’s why I keep pushing him to try with Zoe, but at the same time I don’t want him to.

Ugh!

And it’s so easy to be around him once I forget he’s a guest and lift the barrier I put between any celebrity and myself. It’s so easy to talk to him and to listen to him. I don’t know why he trusted me so easily as to tell me all these things and I don’t know why I care, I actually care. I’m not pretending and I really wish I could do something to fix all his problems because there’s something about his smile I can’t describe.

In what kind of mess did I get in?

By when I’m in the employees’ wing, I’m not running anymore but my heart is still beating like crazy in my ribcage; but that’s probably because I ran so fast and not only for overthinking. I’m heading to my room when I run into Charlie.

“Ella! I just went to your room ‘cos I— you okay?” He asks me and only then I look at him. “You have that lost face again. Did something happen?” My lost face, as Charlie calls it, is the expression of complete absenteeism when my head is a mess and I’m trying to make sense out of everything that is happening. Probably, the very expression I have plastered on my face right now.

“Yeah… I think… yeah,” I reply making no sense at all and I can see how Charlie’s expression changes and now concern is all over his features. “I’m fine.”

“Hell you are. Come.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders and guides me to my room and I know I’m frowning. I’m still trying to think, to figure out what I’m doing.

We walk into my room and he leads me to my bed where he helps me to sit. I think my brain stopped working, overheating or something because I’m acting like a real idiot.

When people say that overthinking kills you, believe me, it’s true.

“Ella, what happened?” He asks me, sitting leg-crossed in front of me, even taking one of my hands. “But first, close your eyes and take a deep breathe. It looks like you’ve been holding your breath for three days.”

I do as told and close my eyes, trying to put my mind in blank and take a deep breath, but it’s not enough so I take another, and another until I start to feel how my heart pace slows down a bit. Charlie was right, I was holding my breath.

I open my eyes again and he’s in front of me, his concerned expression clear and unmistakable. “Can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“Niall,” I say and if he looked concerned before, now he’s utterly shocked and I think his brain will overheat.

“Pardon me?” He asks and I take another deep breath. I have loads of explaining to do.

“That day you told me that Niall was my mystery guy I went to the stables and met him there. It was an accident, but anyways, we met there and talked. That’s why I decided I was gonna help him with Zoe, which is what I’m trying to do. But since I know he is the guy I kissed at the ball I— I dunno, it’s different. I feel different. And I swear I’m trying my best to help him with Zoe, but he keeps telling me that things are not okay, that he’s not in love and he doesn’t want to try but he doesn’t wanna hurt her. And he keeps telling me that he wants to find the girl from the ball and I—”

“Hold a moment,” Charlie interrupts me. “He doesn’t know you’re the same girl?” I shake my head from side to side. “Ella.”

“I know, Charlie, no need for a lecture right now. I can’t tell him because he’s looking for me and I don’t know what would happen if he knew,” I tell him and he shakes his head now. “And he keeps asking me to meet him at the stables, but he’s looking for another girl.”

“He’s looking for you,” Charlie corrects me.

“No, he doesn’t know that. He asks me to meet him while he wants to find another person,” I correct him this time and he sighs frustrated. “Don’t you see? I don’t even know what I want, Charlie.”

“Do you want to see him again?”

“He asked me to meet him tomorrow as well… I was with him before I came here,” I confess and he raises his eyebrows impressed. “And I— I dunno, I guess I want to. I like to spend time with him.”

“Then go and tell him that you are the girl he’s looking for. Maybe he already knows but he’s just waiting for you to confess,” Charlie ventures and I chuckle humourlessly.

“He doesn’t know, Charlie, because he asks me if I went to the ball and I told him the truth, that I was working the whole night.”

“But you went to the dance. You’re lying,” he says frowning at me.

“I’m keeping part of the truth to myself, that’s not lying. I told him the truth, I was working the whole night. I didn’t tell him the whole truth,” I say very seriously and Charlie snorts, very much like Ares does.

“Horseshit!” He scolds and my eyes widen. “You should tell him that you were there, you danced with him and you should do that girl a favour. Niall doesn’t want to be with her and I bet that if he knows it’s you the girl he’s looking for, he’ll break up with her for good and she’ll be able to move on and find someone who really wants to be with her. Is it fair for her to be with someone who doesn’t love her anymore?”

I don’t say anything, surprised by the emotion Charlie puts in his speech and for the things he’s told me. Things I didn’t think of before.

It’s true, it’s not fair for Zoe to be stuck in a relationship that is going nowhere. If I were her I wouldn’t like the situation either. Now I get why she looks so tired and why she was so grumpy with Niall, she must feel that Niall is not into it anymore and she’s tired that he can’t even accept that. She’s trying but he is not.

“Your prince sucks, you know that? He should be man enough and break up with her before even thinking of looking for you,” Charlie adds and I sigh.

“He sucks indeed,” I agree because it’s true, he shouldn’t be doing that. If he ever loved her, he owes her that. And if I keep pushing him to fix things, I’m not sure if I’m doing them any good anymore. “But I still don’t think I should tell him it’s me.”

“Why are you so stubborn?” Charlie groans in frustration and I giggle. “You also suck. You two belong together!”

I burst out laughing due to the patterns he considers to say we belong together, just because we both are terrible people.

“It makes no difference, Charlie. It’s not like if I tell him I’m his mystery girl he’ll ask me to leave everything and to ride into the sunset together. He’s still a celebrity, a guest. What do you think Rhonda could do if she finds out? I don’t want to have more problems, it’s my last summer here.”

“Who cares about Rhonda?” Charlie shoots back. “This is about you. What do you want? Plus, you’ll never know what happens until you try. Stop trying to fix a relationship that is over already. He wants to break up and you keep telling him to try, that’s only making things worse. I’ve seen this girl, Zoe, looking at him. It’s heart-breaking, Ella.”

I look away, ashamed for what I’ve been doing but I don’t think my other option is any better.

“Ella, you know you fancy him. I bet you have butterflies and everything,” he teases me and I feel heat in my cheeks.

“Seriously, Charlie, stop reading fan fictions. It’s turning you into a girl,” I tease him back and he punches me on the shoulder, softly, of course. “And I don’t feel anything like that,” I lie and he hits me again. “Oi!”

“I know when you lie, don’t even try,” he scolds me and I frown. “You fancy him and you’re gonna tell him tomorrow when you meet with him.”

“I don’t even know if I’m going tomorrow.” And I receive another punch on my shoulder. “Oi, stop that!”

“Me and you know that you’ll go, so stop lying. Your nose is gonna grow.” I chuckle at his words. “Tell him, okay? Go and get your prince charming!” He cheers excitedly.

And that’s the moment I hit him, hard. Not just because he hit me first, but because he said prince charming. Niall is not my prince charming or anything, he’s just Niall and Charlie will pay for calling him that.

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Dedication to @WriterWithoutWords. To be honest I haven't rode in many years, but I love to do it. I know about these things in Spanish, so it's kinda hard in English. i'm glad I'm doing it okay.

Bel, xx