I can't shake the overwhelming sadness that had been enveloping me the last hour on the car ride to London. I can't help but wish that Phil was going with me. We should be starting University together, like we had always promised each other. I miss him already, and I don't know how I'm going to survive an entire school year without him.

"Are you alright, Chris?" My dad asks me, driving our expensive sports car to my new school and away from my love.

I hadn't told him about my relationship with Phil, and I wasn't planning on it, as he's one of those people that is completely against homosexuality in any way, shape, or form. Instead, I just nod. "I'm just a bit nervous," I admit reluctantly.

"Why? You've always made friends so quickly."

I scoff. Clearly my father has never understood my situation. Throughout my years at school, it's always been Phil who's helped me make friends. "I'm actually not that great at socialization," I explain. "I'm a bit awkward, you know?"

Dad rolls his eyes. "Come on, you're my son. Surely you're just belittling yourself."

I groan. "No, I'm just a nerd and have trouble talking to people."

"So what if you're nerd? You're an interesting bloke. You're smart, handsome, and talented. Girls should be all over you!"

What's with parents not understanding their kids' situations? Has he not noticed that I have trouble talking to people? Does he not understand that I'm afraid of social interactions? Anxiety can be a bitch, and having parents that don't understand definitely isn't helpful, either.

"Nevermind," I say, ending the conversation before I get too worked up about it.

For most of the drive we sit in silence, until the last hour, when Dad decides to turn on the radio. A Muse song comes on and we both loudly sing along.

Even if Dad and I don't always get along, one thing that has always connected us is music. Ever since I was a lad, Dad would play music on the record player or on the radio. I would always do my best to sing along, even if I didn't know the words. Dancing (well, more like wiggling), became common, too. It wasn't music until I was shaking in my diaper to the beat.

I think of Phil, who shook his ass with me when we met. We both listened to music and became inseparable in grade school.

Now we're separated.

I fear that I'll fall into depression without him. He's always been my rock, and ever since we started dating, he's all I can ever think about. I want to feel his smooth skin against mine, I want to kiss his soft lips, and pull myself into his warm touch. I miss him so much already, and school hasn't even started.

When we pull into the campus, I sigh, secretly hoping that Phil would be there, waiting for me. Instead, a bunch of other freshmen are trying to gather all of their stuff in one swoop so that they don't end up making multiple trips. I can't help but laugh as many of them drop some of their things, try to pick it up, and drop something else. At that point they give up and leave it on the ground, deciding to make multiple trips anyway.

Luckily for me, I came prepared with a pack mule, I think, looking at my dad.

We each grab a suitcase out of the trunk, and I grab two other important bags. One of them contains my toiletries, while the other holds my guitar, my most prized possession.

Dad closes the trunk and we start to walk towards the closest entrance. We're nearly there when someone bumps into me from behind, knocking all of my stuff out of my hands.

"Hey, watch it!" I shout at him. I look up at him and he stares down angrily. He has dark brown, curly hair, with brown eyes so intense, it's almost like they're boring holes in me.

"Why don't you watch it, you pillock!" He replies in a thick Scottish accent. He's actually very attractive, and if I didn't have a boyfriend, I think I'd want to ask him out to dinner at some point.

Of course, that's assuming he's not as big of a wanker as he comes across as.

"Well sorry if it's a bit hard to see," I counter snarkily, referring to the fact that I was carrying a bunch of stuff in front of my face.

The attractive man rolls his eyes, then spits on me before walking away.

"Well, he was sweet wasn't he?" I ask my dad, who helps me to my feet.

Dad just sighs. "I hope not everyone here is like that," he says.

We bring my things into the lobby, and I tell my dad to go ahead and set them down. "I need to use the restroom," I explain, before running off to find where the toilets are.

I walk in the door to hear a very familiar voice humming Wonderwall by Oasis. "Phil?" I call out, and peek around the corner, where my boyfriend is standing there washing his hands.

"Chris!" He calls back, a huge grin on his face. I run over to him and jump into his arms, kissing him hard. "I was supposed to surprise you! You ruined it you fucking wanker," he teases.

"I think you and I both know that I can't let a surprise stay secret for long," I giggle.

Phil shrugs in agreement. "I'll wait for you outside," he says, allowing me to go pee before we can do anything else.

When I walk out, I see my dad talking to Phil, a big grin on Phil's face.

"So you transferred to UCL?" Dad asks him, and Phil nods.

"I figured I could take the same classes here as I could there, and Chris is here, so I went ahead and transferred. I'll have to get a few more credits than I would have otherwise, but I think both Chris and I will be happier." He smiles at me, and I blush.

"Are we roommates?" I ask excitedly.

Phil sighs and shakes his head. "Since I registered late, they wouldn't let me choose my room. I'm roomed with three other blokes already," he says, and I hang my head a bit. "Don't worry, Chris, we'll still see each other," he reassures me with a smile.

Somehow, he always knows the right things to say.

"Well, do you mind helping us move Chris' stuff into his dorm?" Dad asks, and Phil immediately goes over to help. I love the way he's so willing to assist, even when it's not his job. I love the way his cheeks get even more pink when he's in my presence. I love the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles. I love him. I love him with every fiber of my being. I am in love with Philip Harvey.

We carry my things into my room, where I'm met by three other blokes staring back at me, including the wanker who bumped into me at the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" He asks me, and I bite my lip nervously, a habit I picked up from Phil.

I swallow nervously, then smirk. "I live here," I say.

He groans. "Of course you do. That's my damn luck," he says with a roll of the eyes.

I shrug. "Guess you're stuck with me," I grin, all of my nervousness gone. This guy's bark is worse than his bite. I doubt he could hurt a fly.

My dad leaves me to get accustomed in my new room and I grab Phil's hand a pull him to a bed. He sits next to me and grabs my guitar case, reading my mind.

"You play?" The taller bloke with the curls asks me.

I nod. "Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to be a musician," I say simply, before beginning to pluck the strings.

They watch me, stunned, perhaps at how good I am. Not that I think I'm good, but I'll admit that I'm better than most people. I look to Phil, and he's watching me with the same awe-struck gaze that he stares at me with when I'm rambling on about some crazy idea.

I pause for a minute, forgetting the frets for the song I was playing. I sigh and shake my head. "Sorry. This part always messes me up. I just started learning it last week."

"You just learned that last week?" The chubbier one asks.

I nod, and the rude one scoffs. "Jonny Boy is just as good as you are on the guitar. He's better."

"You play?" I ask, looking at the shy bloke, allegedly named Jonny.

He blushes and nods shyly. He's actually quite adorable, and if Phil wasn't in the same room as me, I might try my luck at some flirting. Yes, I love Phil, but a little flirting never hurt anyone.

"Can you play some for us?" I ask eagerly.

He blushes harder as I hand him my guitar. "Well... I'm better on electric than acoustic," he says quietly.

"How about we all introduce ourselves to the new lad," the chubby bloke suggests.

Jonny nods, but the rude bloke shakes his head, annoyed. "I'm Guy," he says, despite. He tells me his major, and despite his bad first impression, he's actually quite interesting.

"I'm Jonathan," the shy bloke says. He starts talking about how he's going to school to be an astronaut, and I love how his eyes sparkle when he's talking about it so passionately.

"I'm Will," the chubby bloke finishes. He's a simple person, and he tells us about how he wants to be a musician, while also being well-educated and strong.

"He's the most balanced of us all. He's like Superman," Guy teases.

"Well," I begin. "I'm Chris. I'm majoring in Ancient World Studies, but I want to be a musician, too," I admit. I turn to Phil and he smiles. "And this is Phil. He's my boyfriend."

"Not very talkative, eh?" Will asks with a smile.

Phil shrugs. "I'm usually more social but I would rather let Chris get to know you blokes himself. You'll see me around, don't worry."

"I wouldn't want to talk to Guy either, don't worry," Jonathan teases, his laugh ringing out in the small room.

"Oh, don't tell my dad that Phil and I are dating, by the way," I whisper, noticing my dad coming back down the hallway of the dorm.

The others nod respectfully and when  my dad walks in, he smiles at the other four freshmen- even Guy. "You all will be good to my boy now, right?" He asks, the others snicker a bit, making me blush.

"Dad, you can go now," I encourage. The guys grin at me, then back at my dad, who gives me a sloppy kiss on my cheek before finally walking out, much to my relief. 

Phil looks at me, a loving and wild look in his eyes. I smirk in response, the look in his eyes giving away his plan immediately. "Chris, do you want to take a walk?" He asks, stirring up a ruckus between the other three guys.

"You're already gonna shag him, Phil? Ya just got to campus!" Guy teases.

Will laughs. "Sounds like little Chris is gonna get it on with his boyfriend today!"

"Nice going Chris!" Jonathan laughs. "Prepare yourself for a first day shagging!"

Phil blushes and rolls his eyes playfully. "It's just an innocent walk, guys!"

"Sure it is,"  Guy laughs.

I blush and walk out with Phil, him trailing right behind me. "Sorry for embarrassing you," he says sweetly.

Aw.

"It's alright. If anyone were to have embarrassed me, I'm glad it was you."

Phil chuckles. "You know you're really cute when you're awkward?"

We walk out of the dorm hall, and I'm a bit self-conscious about taking his hand. Sure, my roommates were fine with it, but that doesn't mean everyone will be. Still, when he reaches for my hand, I take it. I wouldn't want him to think that I'm ashamed of him, or that I don't want to be with him anymore, because there's nothing that I want more than to be with him. But, as they say, actions speak louder than words, and I'd rather let the world know that I'm dating Philip Harvey than let my reserved self ruin our relationship.

He takes me to a small wooded area just at the end of campus, and we sit on the bench and watch the cars pass by us. "This isn't exactly the romantic scenery I had in mind when I brought you out here," Phil says with a chuckle.

I laugh and turn to look at him. "You are the only romantic view I need to see," I tell him, and I lean in to kiss him. He kisses back, but not with as much confidence as he usually does. He must be nervous about being in plain sight, which is slightly surprising, though at the same time, Phil is a pretty reserved person. He's the more sociable one of the two of us, but he doesn't open up much. Even I have to pry things out of him sometimes.

When he pulls away though, I notice that he's distracted. He's almost never distracted, especially when we're on a date. He has laser sharp focus, and I can't help but wonder what on earth he could be thinking about.

"Are you alright?" I ask him. His eyes clear and his focus returns to me.

He smiles again, and it's hard to tell if it's fake or not. "Of course I'm alright! Every moment I'm with you is a treasure, my love."

The mood has been ruined, though. I feel bad for ruining the moment, because I know that he was just trying to be romantic, but obviously, something else is on his mind, and it's hard to focus on a date when you know something is bothering the person you love. It's even harder when they won't tell you what it is, then lie to you that they're fine when they're obviously not.

I nod, biting my lip to signal that I've had enough for today. Phil frowns and kisses my lips for good measure. "I love you," he says. "I promise that I'm alright, though. Ok?" 

I nod, even though I know that that's not true. "I love you too," I reply, kissing him back with twice as much force, and he accepts, smiling into my kiss and biting my lip. I moan, and ignoring the fact that the mood has changed way too quickly to be normal, I open my mouth and let him sift my tongue. I grab the back of his neck and run my fingers up his hair, feeling lucky that his hair is always in somewhat of a mess.

He pulls my hair, moving his tongue inside of my mouth in perfect sync with his tugs. I can already feel myself getting hard at his prying, and when he notices, he pulls away.

We both sit there, hair disheveled and out of breath. "We can't yet," Phil warns me between gasps for air. "We haven't found a secret location where we can without getting caught yet." He kisses me one last time before whispering, "but soon," making me shiver as he runs off, both of us completely forgetting that Phil is hiding something from me.