De'Mario's POV:

Death, every step I take is one step closer to death, literally. The healthy green grass covers the darkness beneath the surface. Gray and sometimes black rocks we call headstones sit on top of the grass to identify the corpses that lie six feet under them. I walk hand and hand with the twins on each side to Shawny's headstone. Maria followed behind us but she went for Kacey's grave first. Trinity held my roses I got for Shawny's vase in her free hand while Shario just kept swaying his free hand by his side. I kneel down to be eye level with the big granite headstone of my beautiful wife. It's like I can feel her spirit already like it's luring me into the soil.

A tear escaped my eyelids as I closed my eyes and ran my fingers across the carved letters on the cold stone. As I open my eyes and trace Shawny's name with my fingertips, the sorrow and pain in the headstone sent chills from my fingertips and down my spine. I take a deep breath to keep from crying in front of the kids but silent tears still fell. Clearing my throat, I began to speak from a broken heart.

Me: "Babygirl, it's been five years that you've been gone and it's still hard to believe that I had to let you go so early. I'm not really good at talking to a headstone to keep me sane but the carving of your name is what brings me back here. " I let out a small sigh of sorrow. "Shawny, my love for you is too strong to let go. I'm I couldn't save you, I tried and failed. It hurts because this time we cant start over. I fucked up and I fucked up really bad, just please forgive me, ple-"

Maria: "Dad, Dad it's okay. Calm down." She hugged me tightly while I cried into her arms. "Daddy, it wasn't your fault. You did the best you could and that's all That matters... That's all that matters.." I could tell she was holding back her tears but she remained strong. Then, Trinity hugged me while Shario just stood there not knowing what to do. I don't blame him, not one bit.

I'm a total wreck, believe it or not, There's not a day that I've smiled a real smile in I don't know how long. I've become an even more bitter person than before. Nothing can make me happy anymore, no matter how hard I try. I can feel the guilt growing inside of me each day. The bigger it gets, the more I start to consider not living anymore. I'm not even talking about Shawny at this point. I'm so badly depressed that I am upset with myself for putting my kids through this. My music reflects the life I wish I had and now I'm feeling like Wayne cause I ain't living the life that I rap about. Maria told me to not die on her and I hate to disappoint her but I'm already dead. Like I've said countless times before, That part of me the everyone loved and everyone cherished is DEAD!

My kids deserve someone strong and someone who's not thinking so selfishly as I am. I don't deserve to be here and I wish that I was the one who died that night instead of Shawny. My tears seep into Maria's shirt as she comforts me. Only fourteen years old and is taking care of a 34-year-old man and two kids. I can only provide first this family financially and somewhat emotionally, which means I'm always going to be here for them whenever they need me but I'm not capable of sanity anymore. So, If they want my advice, the blatant truth is what they will get and that's not good when you're talking to children. But after you've lost a huge part of you, you just don't give a fuck anymore.

Today is the twins fifth birthday and here I am crying at the headstone of their late mother. I must be the worst father ever and I agree that this is unhealthy but it's the only thing that keeps me going. I'm so devoted to seeing her again that I can't let go. Every chance I get, I come here to just simply cry. The twins may find this very disrespectful and rude to take them here for their birthday but here I am, with my selfish ways. I hope they understand one day that I'm not doing this to make them know who Shawny is but it's really for me to show Shawny that I didn't forget and I'm keeping my promise with taking care of these kids.

Trinity: "Daddy, why are you crying?" She asked looking me in the eyes.

Me: "Because I'm sad, baby girl" I replied.

Maria: "Yah, go back to the car. We'll be there in a minute." They did as they were told and I wiped my tears then took a deep breath before looking back at the grave only for them to water up again. I this shit man. "Dad?" She said softly after I've done embarrassed myself.

Me: "What?" I replied in a groggy and irritated voice.

Maria: "N-nothing," she hesitated. "I'll be in the car with the twins." She got up and walked away to the car leaving me in my sadness. I remained still as I stared at Shawny's grave until reality hit me. The sad part is, I was there until Maria honked the horn of our silver Mercedes Benz causing reality to never hit me at all. I kissed my fingertips and pressed them against the stone.

Me: "I love you, I miss you, and I need you." I mumbled. "Hold it down for me up there, Babygirl" I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes as I took in a deep breath and released. Opening my eyes, I return to my car and get ready to finally start my day. "Happy Birthday Trinity, and Shario." Once again I fake my happiness but I can never fake my love. I'm a walking example of depressing love. I love my kids to death but my smiles are never true. Id give my life for them but we will never have a "good time" it may seem like that to them but I will never be the same again.

----------------------------------------------------------

Updated Characters:

Tinashe is Maria's Character now.

Zendaya is Jordyn

Trevor Jackson is Terrence

Ray Ray (Mindless Behavior) is Ray Ray

Shad Moss (Bow wow) is Mario

Logan Browning is LaLa (La'Shawn)

Willow & Jaden Smith are Josh & Jermany

Becky G is Valentina

De'Mario is Micheal Ealy now (you'll see why)

Lisa is Taraji P. Henson