De'Shawn's POV:

It's 7 o'clock. Time is moving slow. I decided to cook and clean up some before I go to Sandra's house. I got a slight head ache right now, my head is pounding but I can't let that set me back. I'm scared to take any pain meds because I might fuck around and die. I can't even trust De'Mario anymore. I don't even want to sleep next to him anymore. I won't even take this shit from him any more. The love I had for him is lost and for the life of me I just can't find it. I'm too weak to look for it now. It's sickening just thinking about the fact that I believed in him. I believed that he believed in me. I believed that he was worth my life, so I lived for him. I lived for him, and I'm the one who's standing here looking like a fucking fool. Cooking dinner, for him. Acting blind and ignorant, for him. Holding in all my feelings just so I can be with him and all I get is this meaningless ring on my finger and a broken necklace around my neck. My own children that I broke my back for don't even give a shit about me. So, what am I here for? Maria's got enough of my teaching to be on her own now so why am I relevant? Why?

I caught the tears that snuck their way out my eyes with my sleeves. I sniffled and continued to cut up the vegetables. My thoughts continued to haunt me as I cooked quietly. Music only brings back bad memories.

In the middle of me cooking, D walked in with Ms Dora the Explorer. My whole mood just got worse but I continue to cook. I clenched down onto my tongue just so I couldnt blurt out anything rude. She wouldn't even look my way and I know she could see right through this ticking bomb. As D took her coat and set it on the rack, Maria and the twins came downstairs.

Trinity: "Mommy!!!" She shouted. My head shot up quick and before I could get happy that she was calling me mommy for the first time, I learned that she wasn't even talking to me. She and Shario ran to the bitch and clung onto her for dear life with huge smiles on her face. I don't know if I'm angry. I don't know if I'm sad. But I sure that I am hurt and biting my tongue wasn't just enough because not only didn't the bitch greet them back like it was normal. D didn't seem to catch onto the disrespect. Maria's dropped wide open when it happened so I know he heard it. I cleared my throat and walked over to the crowd slowly.

Me: "You got five seconds to leave my house." I said calmly while I removed MY kids away from her. "Don't you ever, in your life, let my kids address you as mommy. I carried them. Not you. Now, leave." She attempted to leave but D pulled her back.

D: "She ain't going nowhere." He frowned at me. "Raq, go upstairs to the room." He pushed her to the staircase. I looked at him like he was crazy then everything in my caused to grab her by her neck and pull her to the front door. He tried to pull her away from me but I was too quick. Maria held the door open for neck as I threw her out of the house. Shut the door and locked it before feeling my feet lift up off the ground and my body being turned around and pushed up against the door. "What the fuck is yo problem!?"

Maria: "Daddy, Let her go!!" She tried to help.

D: "Shut the fuck up and go to your room!" He shut her down but she wouldn't stop. The twins cried and hugged each other at the sight.

Maria: "Dad, Let her go, now!!" She demanded as both their hazel eyes became black. I knew this situation was bout to turn for the worse.

Me: "Maria, please go to your room. It's okay. I'll be fine, I promise." I said unsure but she didn't move. She just glared at D.

D: "You never answered my fucking question, what the fuck is your problem!?" His hands slipped to my neck and Now I'm fighting for my life because his grip is tight as hell.

Maria: "She's pregnant!" She shouted and he frowned throwing me to the floor hard enough to make me feel paralyzed for a few seconds.

D: "it's not mine so get the fuck outta my house." He dismissed me quicker than his hand waved me off.

Me: "What the fuck you mean it's not yours? You're the only mothafucka I've ever fucked in my entire life and this baby's not yours?!" I struggled to breathe.

D: "You sure about that? I've known different." He hinted at the times of me being raped. I teared up and shook my head. I don't even have the strength to say anything else. I stood up and walked into the kitchen grabbing the sharpest knife I could find. Maria looked at me with fear in her eyes.

Me: "Don't worry, I'll finish the job for you." I walked down the hall to the back door that connected to the pool area.

Maria: "Mom, please don't." she cried.

Me: "Watch over your brother and sister, I'll be back." I lied.

Maria: "Promise me you won't do anything stupid." She teared up.

Me: "I won't." I said stating that I won't promise her but she took it the other way. I climbed up to the roof with the knife and sat on the edge.

Finally alone. I have time to take all the pain and misery away. De'Mario can love her and have his family. I'm done crying, I'm done giving up, I'm ready to sacrifice myself for happiness. I've spent nearly my entire life loving a man who doesn't want me. I spent years trying to give birth to children who don't claim me. I'm worthless.

Me: "I finally over. I'm tired of this life." I glance at the bordered up house where I spent 5 years of my life. A laugh escaped my lips. How can I be so fucking stupid? I sliced my wrist the first time and tears of joy fell from my eyes. I could feel the pain releasing from my body and the happiness filling me up. By the time I slit my wrist for the 10th time, I was high and wanted more. Lifting up my shirt, I set the tip of the knife against my hip. Dragging it along my waistline, I cry more tears of joy. The blood drips on the ground after covering my legs. My vision began to blur and my heart began to slow down as I fell off the roof. Keisha, I'm coming home.