De'Mario's POV:

Me: "Bae, say Hello to Facebook for me and give me a kiss."

She did as she was told I had James record us. I have lifted her in my muscular arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist. We engaged in a French kiss and I heard Mia take a picture. Shawny looked at the cameras and laughed while I kissed her neck. We let our foreheads rest on one another and I told her that I love her before making an announcement for Facebook.

"De'Shawn Hill Soon to be Smith is mine. She belongs to me. I'm her Daddy *wink*, her Best friend, her Big brother, her lover *Kiss* and her Soon to be husband, Shit, the father of ALL her children *Thrusts hips against hers*"

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Me: "Don't cry, beautiful. I'm right here."

She smiled and nodded.

Shawny: "Yess, I know. Baby, I know."

I smiled and bit my bottom lip.

ME: "I love you."

Shawny: "I love you, too."

She leaned in to kiss my lips and gaze into my eyes. The last tear fell and she sniffed.

"I thought I lost you."

I wiped her tears away and kissed her nose shaking my head.

Me: "I know, baby. I don't want you to ever see me like that again. You'll never lose me. You hear me?"

She nodded.

Shawny: "Yes."

Me: "That's my girl."

I kissed her forehead and embraced her in a heartwarming hug.

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Priest: "Do you De'Shawn Hill, take De'Mario Smith as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Shawny: "I do." I said with a proud smile.

Priest: "Do you take De'Shawn as your lawfully wedded wife, Through sickness, through health, and til death do you part?"

Me: "I most certainly do."

Priest: "Well, then. You may kiss the bride."

I lifted the veil over her beautiful Brown glistening eyes slowly and smiled widely. She blushed adorably and I leaned down to kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her lips sweeter than ever. We rubbed noses and I rested my forehead onto hers. Everyone cheered and the Priest waited for them to simmer down.

Priest: "I may now pronounce you, man and wife."

Shawny: "Thank you."

Me: "For what, baby?"

She began to tear up and her voice was shaky but I can tell the words had to be said.

Shawny: "Seeing me, when I was invisible."

Me: "Well, you found me when I was lost."

Shawny: "You swept me off my feet and fulfilled my wishes and dreams."

Me: "You risked yours to give me a second chance in life."

Shawny: "You never left my side, even when I thought you weren't there."

ME: "You taught me how to live, laugh, learn, and most of all... Love."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her in by the waist.

Shawny: "I love this man."

Me: "That's my baby girl."

She pecked my lips as we laughed.

Shawny: "We made it!"

Me: "Finally."

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Jr.: "Dawg, it's too late." He shook his head but I snatched my arm out of his grasp.

Me: "Fuck that!" I shouted and ran into the house. Mia ran pass me and out the door but Shawny and Maria were still upstairs yelling my name. I knew my babies were okay. I have some hope.

Maria: "Daddy!!!" She screamed bloody murder.

"Hold on, Baby. I'm coming!!" I shouted as I pushed through the smoke and upstairs.

I made it into Maria's room Shawny and she was hugged up. Tears were coming out of there eyes and I saw nothing but fear. A heartbreaking fear. I have a choice to make now, I can take Shawny first or Maria first. Whoever I take first has a guaranteed chance of making it out of this house alive but the other one is slim to none. Shawny saw it in my eyes and she whispered something in Maria's ear that made her cry harder and not want to let her go. Shawny pushed Maria towards me and nodded slowly.

Shawny: "Take her." She demanded with a tear.

Me: "Shawny, you're pregnant and-"

Shawny: "And I would never forgive you If she dies because you chose my life over hers." She said sternly more like she wanted to give me faith. Shawny loves Maria too damn much as If she was actually her daughter. She wouldn't dare put herself before Maria. This was a no brainer for her. She loved her that much. She would give her life for her. Even our unborn children that were almost here. I gave Shawny a hug and a kiss before picking Maria up and disappearing into the smoke.

Dr.Kareem: "De'Mario!" She shouted loud enough to knock me out of my thoughts. I didn't jump, I wasn't startled, I was upset. She interrupted me while I was in the middle of a tragic ending. I never get past that part. It's like I'm not allowed to relive the part where I go back into that house and save her. My mind or the world won't let me. I want a chance, at least mentally to save her.

Me: "What?!" I semi-yelled with attitude. "Man, I can hear yo ass, I got ears." I frowned and glared at her.

Dr. Kareem is my psychiatrist, I've been seeing her for the last few years and as you can see, this shit ain't working. They won't take me into the mental home cause I take care of the kids by myself but they've put me on meds for chronic depression, bipolar disorder, and they said I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. Where the fuck they get that from? I don't know but I do know that I'm not finna take them damn meds they got me on. Only ones I do take are the ones for my bipolar dis odor and that's because I've been on since Shawny and I got married. Other than that, they can suck my dick.

Dr. Kareem sighed and put her clipboard down. She interlocked her fingers while leaning on her elbows and staring at me dead in the eyes. I ran my fingers through my once dreaded head but now nothing but just curls. I cut my dreads off because it reminded me of the man that I used to be, the man that died, the man who was happily married with kids. I was tired of looking into the mirror every day and having to see the pain. I wanted it to all go away. So, I cut it all off. Everyone including Maria was telling me that that was the sign that I was getting worse. Cutting off the dreads is what lead to these therapy sessions and they don't do anything but piss me the fuck off.

Dr.Kareem: "It's been almost an hour and the only thing we've accomplished was testing whether you can hear or not." She removed her glasses and scratched her head.

Me: "What the fuck do you expect me to do?" I said angrily. "The only reason I'm here is to keep my kids. Other than that, you ain't doing shit for me."

Dr.Kareem: "See, that's where you're wrong." She sat up and cleared her throat. "You just told me what I was doing for you, I'm helping you keep your kids. Do you want your kids?"

Me: "What type of fucking question is that? I know you fuc-"

Dr.Kareem: "Then act like it." She cut me off. "You've been my patient for three years now and we haven't made any progress. You're the same man that walked in her three years ago holding on to something that's not even here anymore. Now, I understand it's hard and I've seen worse but you have three kids to raise by yourself, you're still young and you have not even tried to recover." She explained.

Me: "There's no reason to recover, from what? I'm fine, I'm still living and my kids still ain't gotta want for anything." I smirked.

Dr.Kareem: "Mr.Smith. Have you ever asked them what they wanted or how they felt? Did you even think for one second that settling down in depression may be affecting your children? " She asked.

Me: "What, so what chu saying is that I'm a bad father and I should move on and forget about Shawny?" I asked in return. She obviously was getting upset but so was I so I don't give a fuck.

Dr.Kareem: "It's been five years, De'Mario." She stated the obvious.

Me: "Thanks for the reminder. I'm reminded that every time the twins have a birthday. Every time someone wants an interview, the royalties she's still getting from her music, every night I go to sleep, and every moment of the fucking day I am haunted by the memory of her and that day. Now, tell me something I don't fucking know."

Dr.Kareem: "This is not going to get better If you don't want it to." She calmly said.

Me: "Fuck getting better, There's nothing wrong with me!" I stood up. "Why df are yah trying to make it seem like I'm crazy. You said-"

Dr.Kareem: "Will you please, Calm down De'Mario?" She asked and stood up. "Look at me, look." She held my face in her hands and stared me in the eyes. "You're not crazy, far from it. Just a very sad, angry, guilty, and hurt man. That's all. It's okay. There is nothing, I mean nothing crazy about that because all have a breaking point and apparently that was yours. Now, can you please work with me?"

Me: "Then why am I taking medicine?" I narrowed my eyes.

Dr.Kareem: "First of all, you're not taking your medicine, I can tell you that much. Second, the medicine will help If you let it. I wouldn't give you a prescription If I didn't think you needed it. Trust me, it'll help you get back on track. You'll be smiling more and will get a second chance to raise your children in a happy home. Because this, right here, this is a waste of your money, it's a waste of our time including your kids, and it's all because you are holding onto depression as If it's going make you feel better."

Me: "I don't want to forget about her. I don't want to just throw away everything she built just because she's not here. I want to make it like she never left."

Dr.Kareem: "Look at it like this. Let's not talk about De'Shawn for a moment. I want you to tell me when is the last time you've laughed, well smiled? "

Me: "The day she died, before the fire." I sat down and sighed while rubbing my face in my hands.

Dr.Kareem: "When's the last time you've cried? " she sat down.

Me: "This morning, uh. yeah, this morning in the shower. I was thinking about her and what happened on our honeymoon. She really made me happy that week. I wanted to smile, and I wanted to laugh, but that wave of pain came in and I instantly started crying. I mean.. the shit is horrible. & it's like, I don't even mean to think about her but she always on my mind. Everything reminds me of her, I don't know what to do." I stopped talking and took a moment to wipe my tears and keep from crying.

Dr.Kareem: "You see this?" She blurted.

Me: "What?" I said as I furrowed my eyebrows.

Dr.Kareem: "This is what I call progress." She said with a smile. I sighed.

Me: "So, what now?" I asked.

Dr.Kareem: "That's up to you, I recommend that you take your medicine but until you choose to do that, try to be more open and brake that she'll that keeping you from healing and moving on with life." She sighed. "Part of you died when she did and you want to never bring that side back to life because you'll feel like you've betrayed her. I can see it in your eyes and I'm sorry that this happened to you. You may not be able to bring her back but we can bring back you. She died, you didn't. But her spirit still lives in you but you're killing yours to hold onto hers. You need to let it go."

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