The sun's hidden behind
a pack of clouds,
Sweet sounds of birds chirping,
Longing for a clearer sky
But would it change me?

By the bedpost, I lay
In quiet tranquility of a monsoon breeze
My sleep paralysis demon haunts me,
Tells me, my subconscious is haunted.

I see children fly kites outside on the field,
I could be merry, but they'll be merrier,
For I am choked in my own arguments
Mother told not to fight with my shadows
But never warned me about the demons lurking behind them.

Blurry vision as the raindrops fall
Holding onto the window sill -
What if the heaven's weeping for me too?
What if this is the final call?

I see smiles but mine's restrained,
Lost under covers of who I could be
of how I have become, of adulthood and all it's challenges.
The drizzling outside reminds me of my childhood laughter
As they fade, so can I feel my soul.

I sit back, on the clean bedsheets,
As I fight the conflicts within me
I should have been braver
But what I am, is just like an army without a confederacy.

Every morning I wake up,
Resurfacingly questioning my existence,
Am I in a delusion or in a crisis?
The voice at the back of my head, laughs
Says, "You're just another missing piece of the destruction puzzle."

I walk around, asphyxiated
Tongue tied, drowned in misery
Descartes' Dormez, do I need to say much?
But how do you sleep, when your mind palace is just another shipwreck?

                 - Anurima Mukherjee

P.S. - Fighting inner demons is probably the last thing one would want in their life. This poem is dedicated to those who are fighting  their inner demons.
Sorry for updating after so long. I have been through some hard stuff, and it sucks. I love all of you, take care. Stay safe and stay hydrated.