I let the water rush over my face, washing away the soap. At the end of each shower, I always went back and forth between scolding hot and icy cold water, shocking my body. It made me feel alive.

Which I needed because I was certain I was dead.

Izuna had avoided everything that involved me. He didn't take his meals in the great hall. He didn't sleep in his bedroom. I spent my time training, running and partaking in the other duties that were assigned to me when Izuna didn't require my services.

All in all, I kept myself busy.

All in all, I missed him so much it tore me apart.

I didn't feel any guilt regarding bedding that girl. I considered myself a free man to do as I pleased. And I'd preferred to move on sooner rather than later.

Truth was, not being able to have Izuna's company had woken something up within me; a hunger that I had to eat up. When I had penetrated that woman, melting into her as if she were butter, I had felt such a relief, I had come in ten seconds only to rest for ten minutes and then penetrated her again, this time having much more stamina, which was when Izuna had found us. Was it worth Izuna's despair? I didn't know. But his emotions were no longer my responsibility. And from the moment he left, his safety wouldn't be my responsibility anymore, either.

"I will go with him."

My words to the king when I'd talked to him.

"I'm sorry. Your place is here. Izuna is to go alone."

"But who will protect him?"

"He will be assigned a personal guard at the castle he's to call home. They have fine soldiers."

I closed my eyes. I had removed myself from the shower, dressed, put on a vanilla-white cape and headed out, and was standing in the early spring grey at the beach, looking out. I looked behind me and to the right, to the cliff I now saw as ours. On it stood a lone figure clad in black. Izuna...

I didn't feel the excitement I usually felt when I saw him, or the nervousness I'd felt this past week, since he'd gotten married. Instead, I felt a hollow sadness, a hole of nothingness. I turned and walked, climbing the cliffside, using my hands to go upwards. His cape was black, the opposite to my white one. I wanted it to be the other way around, him being the light, me being the darkness. His hair was loose, which was rare outside his bedroom, or my bedroom, and it flew in the wind together with his cape. I knew he knew I was behind him, yet he didn't turn.

"Izuna..." I began. He didn't answer. "Izuna, please, don't ignore me-"

"How dare you speak to me like that?!" He turned round. 

There was fire in his eyes. I had never seen him like this. I had never seen him angry. Izuna's anger was something out of this world, like he had built up every anger he should've felt during his twenty-four years alive and released them now, all at once. 

"How dare you diminish my behaviour to mere ignoring?! I don't want to answer you! I have no obligation to answer you!" He was fuming. I was speechless. "And even if I was ignoring you, I have every fucking right! I showed you love!" He was screaming now. "I showed you love and respect! I gave you a home! In here!!" He put his palm to his heart. Tears were chasing each other down his face. "Did you stop to think, for one second, that even if you and me are not an entity anymore, you could at least think about my feelings?! Did you never love me? Did you only love me when you could have me?! Is that the way it was?!"

Izuna was crying openly now, his lower lip trembling, tears wetting his face to such a degree there wouldn't be need for rain in a decade. He took some time to collect himself like true royalty, and when he continued speaking, his voice had darkened. 

"You handled watching me bed my husband better than I would handle the same situation. But know this. I would have done anything in my power to do you good. Not only didn't you do me good, you actively acted in a way that destroyed me. I was forced. Forced! You were not. Couldn't you at least have waited seven days before you fucked so I could leave? Couldn't you go to another room? Couldn't you talk to me first?! There were so many options, Tobirama! Yet you chose the one that wasn't an option at all!"

I couldn't answer.

I couldn't answer his rage.

I couldn't answer his rage because I knew he was right.

We stood there, the wind swirling around us, tying us together one final time.

"I don't want us to part as enemies", I whispered, and now I'd recovered somewhat from the shock of seeing Izuna angry, tears started falling down my face, too.

Izuna walked past me, stopped when we stood shoulder-to-shoulder, but not touching.

"That's beneath me", he said.

He didn't even bother to look at me. 

Then, he left, leaving me alone, looking out over the ocean, the frothy foam beneath, the unforgiving rocks shooting up the water, perfectly spear-shaped.

Nothing had ever looked so tempting.