chapter two drifting...

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Kenny has to admit that this school day has drained her more than she thought it would. Starting off the day with a biology quiz followed quite soon after with an exam in algebra is a good way to suck the life out of anyone (though algebra one of her favorite classes). She just feels like her brain has been worked too hard to focus in any other class. And she has so many left. The day isn't even over yet, so when she nearly falls asleep in her last class of the day, she's not entirely surprised. It took all of one small dream for Colie to notice her face pressed against the desk and throw a pencil at her.

Kenny swears the tip of the pencil stabbed her in the back of the head.

Colie thinks she's bluffing.

...She's not.

Anyway, Kenny needed the three-second power nap because she promised Liam she would go to his tryouts today without thinking of the perpetual exhaustion she has after school each day. Nonetheless, she's going to go. It was a promise after all. Colie waves her off, telling her she can't make it because she's got some dumb study group with Mason. This leaves Kenny alone on the bleachers with groups of friends all around her. Two brunettes sit in front of her, and she scooches her knees to the side to avoid brushing either of them in the back.

The bleachers really are a tight squeeze.

Watching Liam play lacrosse brings back a lot of childhood memories for her. It was all he wanted to do when they were kids. Every time she would pull out something different like a soccer ball or a board game, Liam would pull out his lacrosse stick and a ball and force her to go outside and actually play lacrosse with him. What started out as a real hatred for the sport soon turned into a love of hers. She didn't love it enough to actually play (in addition to the fact that girls aren't allowed on the team? It's rude, really), but she loved it enough to watch. She feels the same way about hockey. (Kenny's just not athletic, OK? Let that be known).

Kenny expected a lot of things from going to his tryouts today. For example, she expected to see her friend play lacrosse again. She hasn't seen him do that in a while, not since their old school (and we all know how that turned out). She also expected to watch him make first line because he totally would. And she expected to see a whole bunch of girls waiting in the crowd for some guy on the field, like all of those scenes from the movies. Kind of what Kenny is doing. Sue her. He's her best friend; it's basically a free pass, right? She's so not one of those girls from the movies...Right?

Actually, thinking about the fact that she's currently sitting alone when she knows barely anyone at this school from the month she's been here brings a tightness to her stomach. Everyone's watching the team's tryouts and yet somewhere in the back of her annoying brain, she's worried if they're staring at her or talking about her or judging her. Thoughts run wild in the back of her head, and she finds her bottom lip being harshly gnawed between her teeth. Surely she could go on her phone and at least act like she's got someone to talk to, but she can't because Liam is playing and she promised him she'd watch him and her only two other friends are in a stupid study group —

Anyway...

What she did not expect was for Scott McCall, the current captain of the lacrosse team (who she's heard so many amazing stories about — rumors, perhaps? She doesn't know), to be absolutely terrible at the sport. She also did not expect the brunette directly in front of her right knee to call for a do-over when Liam played a fantastic play. A do-over.  She has never heard such a thing.

Maybe she hasn't heard of such a thing because there is no such thing as a do-over in athletics.

Nonetheless, Liam goes back to his original position and tosses the ball around a few times in his net. Kenny can feel her legs start bouncing. Liam only has to repeat what he just did before. Easy peasy.

"C'mon, Liam," she mumbles. She can feel her heart start to pick up in her chest, going thump thump thump at a rapid pace. Her hands wring together in her lap, looking for something to fidget with to avoid any nail-biting. So, yeah, Kenny loves to watch Liam play, and she loves to watch lacrosse but the competitiveness of sports really stresses her out. Like badly. (Another reason she doesn't play any).

The next series of events is even crazier to Kenny than everything that has already happened.

When Liam tries to make the goal and the boys in front of the net slam into him, she can literally hear a crack from where she is sitting...and it is so clear that he is not OK. There's a series of gasps that erupt from around her, and Liam drops to the ground with a groan. She loses sight of him as the team forms a barrier between the two from their places on the field. Kenny finds herself standing in her seat, waiting for the crowd to separate in front of her. She can't just walk onto the field, right? Can she?

She thinks she will.

So, she does.

Kenny excuses herself when she accidentally bumps one of the girls sitting in front of her as she steps off the bleachers. She can't find it in her to bother to turn around and properly apologize because she's watching the guilty party for Liam's injury carry him off the field with an arm draped over each of their shoulders. Her legs are carrying her in his direction without even thinking about where they're going because she knows she can't just leave him alone. When she finally catches up with the boys, she opens her mouth to immediately spew out a bunch of questions regarding Liam's situation but she's cut off before a single word can escape.

"Um, who are you?" one of the boys asks (the one that isn't Scott McCall), glancing quickly over his shoulder at her. Kenny barely hears him, her thoughts running wild about what she would have to say to Liam later when they were alone. Does she apologize? Does she say anything at all? Like, his entire season could be fucked up before it even begins —

"Kendall," she says. "Er, where are you taking him?"

"The hospital," he says.

"Right, well, I'm coming, too."

"Excuse me?" he asks. His brows pull together, and he opens his mouth like he's going to argue her statement, but this time she beats him to it.

"What? I'm not letting him go alone —"

"He's not alone —"

"He doesn't even know you — Who even are you —"

"Kenny," Liam mumbles. She meets his eyes — his sad, blue eyes that tug at her heartstrings — and closes her mouth. "Please."

Kenny doesn't say anything else. She doesn't want to make the situation worse for him. If there's one thing she can do right now, it's this. She's practically helpless anywhere else. What can she do?

"OK, fine," the boy grumbles, leading them towards an old, blue jeep. They walk at a slow pace, practically dragging Liam through the parking lot as they approach the vehicle. Kenny hates cars that belong to teenage boys. They're always so dirty and small — "You two can sit in the back."

"Gee, thanks," Kenny grumbles, pulling her lip back between her teeth as she watches the two boys assist Liam into the backseat. Liam winces as he moves his leg, and Kenny climbs in behind him. Thankfully, the cluttered backseat manages to fit both her and Liam, albeit semi-comfortably. She looks at Liam, but he doesn't meet her eyes. "Do you want me to call your mom?"

"No," he says quietly. He fiddles with his hands in his lap. "My stepdad is working. He'll probably call her."

"OK."

Kenny thinks about Liam's rambling from the other day about wanting to make captain — or even first line — and her heart aches for him. His face was so bright and his eyes practically glowed and he laughed over and over and now? Liam is a shell of himself. He's worked his life around making the lacrosse team and yeah he's only a freshman, but it's the beginning of everything. What he does now will impact him for the rest of his high school experience.

Not being able to make the team with a good position this year will only make it harder for him next year. Kenny knows that. She can't help him through that.

Scott slips into the passenger seat after a very heated whisper discussion with his friend, who slides into the driver's seat. Kenny doesn't acknowledge them as he begins driving towards the hospital.

"Are you OK?" she asks Liam instead. Liam shakes his head, never removing his eyes from his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry..."

Kenny isn't very good at comforting people; she just can't think of what to say. So, she says nothing. Instead, she brushes her shoulder against his and leans her head on him. She feels the comforting pressure of his head leaning against hers. Her phone vibrates with a continuous flow of messages from Colie and Mason, knowing the news must have spread by now. She ignores them; they can be caught up later.

But Liam? Well, he needs her now. Not later.

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The hospital room is quiet as Kenny turns the page in her book (Romeo and Juliet for her English class — so not exciting). In an attempt to keep herself busy while Liam continued to not say anything, Kenny had pulled out the aforementioned book and began her homework since she probably wouldn't be doing it later. She had tried to talk to Liam, but she can't force him to say anything. That wouldn't be fair of her. He'll talk when he's ready; he always does.

Her brain begins to fill with what if this and what if that and what the hell do I say to him? questions. Nagging and nagging and nagging, and she still doesn't say anything. The room is filled with an awkward silence and yet she still can't find the words to say. Comforting isn't her thing, but she just knows she has to be here. His mom is at work and his stepdad has yet to arrive. Liam shouldn't be alone, so, even if it's awkward, Kenny isn't going anywhere. Her brain can nag her all it wants. She will ignore it.

She begins to prop her feet on a nearby table when she hears a sigh leave his mouth.

Kenny closes her book and stares at Liam. He's on his back, hands crossed over his stomach, watching the plain, white ceiling above. When he hears the book drop onto the table, he turns his head and finally meets her eyes. Glossy blue eyes meet her brown ones, and she finds herself frowning again.

"Don't say it, please," he whispers. His brows pull together like he's trying to suppress what he's really feeling. Sadness and anger clouded by an emotionless face. Kenny knows better than to think he's actually fine.

"Say what?" she asks. She crosses her legs on the chair and rests her hands in her lap. Her phone vibrates on the table — a message from Colie, no doubt, as Kenny has yet to text her and Mason back — but she ignores it.

"That you're sorry," he says. He moves his hands and presses his palms to his face, rubbing them harshly against his eyelids. Kenny's sure he's seeing stars right now. "You always say sorry when you didn't do anything —"

"But I am sorry —"

"Kenny, seriously —"

"Sorry," she says again. "I mean — uh — sorry..."

Her heart picks up and beats rapidly. She can see Liam's getting upset with her, and she knows it's not her fault but still. She's obviously making this harder for him, and she hates that. She doesn't say anything, just closes her mouth and bites the inside of her cheek. There's a swirl of nerves in her stomach, flying up to her throat and back down. She's a little nauseous. She feels her mind take a step back, teetering off the edge of a cliff.

Brown eyes break away from the blue eyes, and she twists her fingers in her lap.

"Kenny," he sighs out in exasperation. Kenny can hear the shift as he sits up. "Look...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you...I just —"

"It's fine," she says immediately, another way of apologizing in her eyes.

"No, it's not," he says. "You didn't do anything. I'm just in a bad mood."

Kenny wants to apologize again...That's what she does. But instead, she doesn't say anything, just looks back at him. He's already watching her, a frown etched on his face. A handful of warmth swells in her chest, pulling her off the edge and holding her steadily on the ground.

Before Liam can say anything else, Kenny's phone vibrates on the table again, and then again.

"Who keeps texting you?" he asks.

"Um, Colie and Mason," she says. She grabs her phone and unlocks it, pulling the messages up. "I can text them back later, though. They can wait."

"What are they saying?" he asks, and then, he groans. "Fuck...Does the whole school know I busted my ankle on the first day — what a joke —"

"You're not a joke," she says. "They're just wondering if you're OK."

"Tell them I'm not."

"Um —"

"I'm kidding, Kenny," he says and raises a single brow. "C'mon. Lighten up. It is my life that's over, anyway."

"Oh, shut up," she says, setting her phone back down. "You're life isn't over, Liam. You'll be fine in a few weeks. The season will barely have started by then."

"I won't be on first line, though —"

"We'll figure that out when we get there, yeah?" she says. "No need to stress about it now. That won't help anything."

Liam bites his lip in thought, breaking their eye contact and looking around the room. It's quiet for a little while, and Kenny can hear the scuffing of shoes in the hallway, the steady beeping of monitors, families talking quietly —

There's a soft knock on the door, and Kenny turns her head. Liam's stepdad stands in the doorway, a clipboard in his hand, and a smile that offers a warm greeting sits on his face. Kenny's always liked him. He's been the nicest father figure to Liam after his dad, and she thinks Liam really needed that. Plus, he plays lacrosse with Liam when he can...which means Kenny doesn't have to play lacrosse.

Liam's eyes shift downward momentarily like he's too ashamed to look his stepdad in the eyes. Like he's embarrassed about what happened.

Kenny finds herself standing up from her seat. "Hi, David," she says.

"Hi, Kendall," he says. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," she says. She looks at Liam, but he's already looking at her. "I'll leave you two alone...I'm just going to — uh — do you want some water or something?"

Liam nods. "Sure...please."

Kenny returns a nod and leaves the room, leaving her phone on the table as she does. She doesn't need it anyway. She rounds the corner outside the room, and the air momentarily leaves her lungs when she rams into a body almost immediately. She hadn't been looking, but surely there wasn't anyone just lurking outside Liam's room, right? Well, obviously there was but —

"Oh, my bad!" the voice says. "I'm sorry."

Kenny groans as she finally looks up, meeting the eyes of Scott McCall. His brows are furrowed in worry while his hand rests on her shoulder to steady her. Over his own shoulder is his friend Stiles Stilinski (she heard Liam say his name earlier), who has his own brows raised in surprise and his mouth agape. Kenny looks back at Scott, shrugging his hand off her shoulder and taking a step back.

"Why are you still here?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Kenny doesn't particularly like the pair of boys, she's decided.

"We're just — uh — checking on Liam...How is he doing?" Scott asks, and Stiles sighs from behind him, leaning against a far-away wall with his own arms crossed. He rolls his eyes at his friend.

"He's fine," she says. "No thanks to you two."

"Oh, come on," Stiles starts, groaning in irritation. "He was showing off — he practically did it himself —"

"Stiles," Scott says.

"Wow," Kenny says. Scott looks back at her, and she squints her eyes. They're so close that Kenny can see the gel in his styled hair and how crooked his jaw is and how brown his eyes are. She raises a single brow. "You two are charming, aren't you?"

She doesn't wait for a reply as she scoffs and walks away. She's only out here to get Liam a cup of water, anyway. She doesn't have to hold a conversation with either of them, especially if they're going to blame the entire thing on Liam or apologize to her when it's Liam that should be getting the apology.

Kenny stops at a nearby water fountain, grabbing one of those disposable cups from beside it and filling it with water. She walks slowly on her walk back, careful not to spill a single drop of water as she does. The task deems itself as difficult, but she manages not to spill anything. Thankfully, Kenny's clumsy side managed to keep itself at bay during her trek to the room.

She finds herself alone outside the entrance of the room; Scott and Stiles seem to have left the area. She feels a small sense of relief not to have to talk to them again. She didn't know what else she'd say if she was forced to converse with them another time. She stops outside the door, hearing a voice getting louder as it approaches. She will absolutely not spill this water by running into someone else today. No, thank you.

David appears from within the doorway and pats Kenny's shoulder reassuringly as he leaves the room. She quietly shuffles back inside, setting the cup of water she had retrieved on the table beside Liam's hospital bed and sitting down in the chair she had resided in before. She pulls one leg onto the chair and rests her chin on it, watching as Liam chews on his lower lip.

"What did he say?" she asks quietly, wrapping her arms around her raised leg. She finds comfort in the pressure she's applying to her leg. That minimal compression easing the swirl of nerves that arose once again in her stomach.

"Well," Liam mumbles. "It's big...and bruised...and broken."

Kenny almost finds herself apologizing again, but stops before she does. "OK...How long until it's healed?"

Liam shrugs. "Not sure...He didn't say. He'll be right back — just running to get the stuff, or whatever..."

"OK," she says.

Once again, she finds herself at a loss for words, but it doesn't seem like Liam wants to talk all that much anyway. He lays back against the hospital bed, crossing his hands over his navel like he was doing earlier. He watches the ceiling, and Kenny wonders if he's imagining stars up there...if he's trying to imagine something better than this.

If she wasn't a pile of nerves right now, that's what she'd be doing. Staring off somewhere, letting her mind drift into some fantasy, some scenario that was never real and never would be real. Perhaps rewinding to earlier in the day where she could prevent Liam from ever feeling like this.

Liam is very often an angry person, she knows that and she understands it, but Liam is very rarely a sad person. So, when Kenny sees him like he is now, she doesn't know what to do. She's mastered the art of dealing with his angry outbursts, but this? This is uncharted territory, and Kenny would never want to say anything to upset him further.

"Who were you talking to in the hallway before?" Liam asks then, his voice soft, but she can still hear it. It's quiet everywhere else, anyway. Almost too quiet.

"Oh, um — Scott and Stiles were out there," she says.

His brows pull together, and he angles his head to meet her eyes. "What? Why?"

This time, Kenny shrugs. "Said they were checking on you..."

"Hm," Liam hums, turning his head back towards the ceiling.

"It was weird," Kenny says then. "And Stiles is kind of a dick —"

Liam cracks a smile, but just barely. "Why's that?"

"He's just been so rude this whole day! Like, he basically blamed you for the whole thing —" Kenny finds her body heating up as she rants to Liam. Sometimes, she uses ranting as a way to relieve her stress and anger. It just works for her. She's not always too good at confrontation, so the act of ranting to someone else about it gives her some ease. "— and obviously it wasn't your fault. He's literally years older than you...like why would he feel the need to project that —"

"Kenny, relax," Liam breathes out with a chuckle. "It kind of was my fault —"

"No, Liam, it wasn't," she says. "I was there and I saw the whole thing. You're not to blame at all."

"...I was just trying to show off," Liam says. "You know, new school...new people...I got myself into it."

"Why would you do that? You know you're good."

Liam's quiet for a moment. "I don't know."

"Well, I'm certainly not apologizing to him —"

"I didn't ask you to."

"Good because —"

There's a loud scream that erupts from the hallway before the remainder of the sentence leaves her mouth. A bone-chilling, eerie scream that sends a shiver down Kenny's spine. She can feel her hair stand straight on her arms. Liam shifts his body like he's trying to get up, but Kenny beats him to it. She plants both feet on the ground and walks over to his bed, feeling the warmth as she stands next to him. It radiates off of him and fills her chest with some comfort.

"What was that?" she whispers.

"I don't know," he whispers back. "But, Ken I —"

She leaves his side before he can say anything, his hand barely missing her forearm to hold her back. He leans his weight onto his arm, holding himself up as he watches her place her hands on either side of the doorway, looking up and down the hallway. Her hair shifts with every movement of hers.

"What's happening?" he asks.

She doesn't answer him. "Hello?" she calls. "Did anyone hear that?"

And then everything happens so fast that Kenny can barely comprehend the events as they're happening. She can see Liam getting up from the bed in her peripheral as a boy walks around the corner of the hallway — the one she had been in earlier.

The boy turns around, his eyes meeting hers like he knew she was standing right there. Kenny's eyes start to blur as she sees the blood covering him — his hands, his body, his face...everywhere. His eyes — his cloudy, white eyes — stare back at her, but neither of them moves. Kenny feels frozen in place, like maybe if she doesn't move he won't see her. If she doesn't make a sound, he won't know she's standing right in front of him with Liam shuffling around behind her. She can hear Liam say something, but nothing really at all.

All she knows is that Liam's questions and his voice and his presence are drawing the attention of whoever — whatever — is staring right at her.

Her hand moves slowly behind her, reaching for the edge of the door. The boy watches her, his eyes never once leaving hers, and she's sure to not move her's either. When her hand grabs the door, she moves quickly, backing into the room and trying to close the door behind her.

"Kenny, what is going on?"

Just before the door clicks shut, there's a hand that reaches around it, halting its movement. Kenny pushes with both hands, but it fails to comply even though she's applying as much pressure as she possibly can.

With one big shove, the door flies open, and Kenny falls to the ground. Liam jumps back, stumbling on his bad leg when she yelps. Her heart beats outside her chest, and her mind is working so fast that she can't keep up with any thoughts. She's living everything now instead of planning for any what-ifs. She doesn't have time for anything that's going to happen because this is happening now.

Because right now, Kenny is being lifted off the ground before she can even process it.

"Kenny!"

One second Kenny is standing and the next she's flying, smacking the wall behind her. Her head bounces off of it, never quite feeling the impact of it, just the thump of the back of her head colliding with the wall sounding like actual gunfire in her ears. A loud bang and a crack and she's drifting immediately. Something — her blood? — slides down her back, warm and wet.

She can't feel the racing of her chest or the shaking of her hands anymore because it feels like she's in the clouds. As she slides to the floor, she feels nothing but numbness, almost like she's detached from herself, suspended in the air above like some sort of ghost. Her eyes shed a few tears and black dots start to speckle her vision. Her head rings like she's got flies swarming around her, and she's dizzy. She tries to bring herself back to the now with the shake of her head.

"Kenny?! Oh my god —"

As Kenny once again drifts into nothingness, she feels herself floating, like she's under the dark water and can't reach the surface again. She hears the constant whooshing and dull screaming of her best friend, but she can't see anything. It's all dark... there are stars and —

"What are you doing?!"

"Get him out of here —"

"Kenny! Please —!"

Kenny's brought back, just under the surface of the water — just barely drifting — by a sharp pain in her hand. Her eyes don't open, but she knows what it is. She does.

She knows this is what death must feel like.

Author's Note: WELL this was a whirlwind wasn't it? Are we all okay? I'm certainly not, this was insane to write. AHA. Anyway, love you all, I hope you enjoyed. There are a few hints dropped in this chapter for Kenny's background, but no big deal if you don't pick up on them! They'll come together in a few chapters!

Let me know what you think! xx