Unedited

"Love is doing the hard things, for the greater feeling" - Unknown

    -A month and a Half later-

    I sat in my same old office staring at the endless amount of emails I felt I always had. Ever since the article had come out about ‘New York Bridal Shop Owners’ I’ve had emails from clients either confused, worried, or defending our business. I shut the computer down. My eyes were going to fall out of my head if I didn’t head home and get some rest soon. There was a slight knock on the door. Laying my head down on the desk I let out a sigh before slumping back up in my chair.

    “Come in.” The words sounded slightly defeated. It had been a long day but it was still early in the morning, honestly it had been a long month. From terrible dates, to disastrous customers, and plenty of weddings. The door slightly opened, a head peeking in through the crack. I turned to see who needed my attention.

    “What are you doing in here all alone?” Clara opened the door deciding it was safe. She shimmied through the room before taking a seat on the long sofa. I leaned my head against my hand, resting my elbow on the table.

    “Trying to get some emails answered and some bills paid.” I rolled my eyes, not out of annoyance but more of a shrug. The last month had felt like a routine. I had gone on dates with these boys from Tinder. Dates that seemed like every other date I had been on. Plenty of hoe hoppers and night walkers.  I wasn’t getting anywhere with any of these guys. I hadn’t even gotten passed a first date. “Do you think i’m being too picky?” I blurted out.

    “Umm, always?” Clara shrugged her shoulders while throwing her hands in the air. She obviously had no clue what I was talking about. Realizing I hadn’t given her enough information I figured I should probably explain to her my thought process.

    “All these dates I’ve been going on, none of them have worked out. They’ve all been worse than the last. I haven’t been able to have any fun on any of them. Am I just being too picky?” The words fell out of my  mouth and as soon as they had I felt like I was just begging for confirmation that it wasn’t me. That everybody else was the problem.  Clara stood up walking around the office. She grabbed a few bills out of the organizer on my desk. Looking through them she gently placed them back.

    “Seriously?” She questioned taking her seat again. I nodded my head almost too eagerly. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something before quickly closing it again. Kicking her shoes off she laid back on the couch.

    “Yes, i’m being serious. I mean I haven’t been on a date worse than my date with Stephen, but they definitely haven’t been good. That one guy didn’t even show up.” I thought back to all the dates I had been on in this last six weeks.

    There was the business salesperson who didn’t stop talking the entire night about how great the stock market is in Nebraska right now. There was the guy who just simply didn’t show up. The guy who ended up bringing his sister because he didn’t have a ride to the restaurant and he wasn’t sure she would come back to pick  him up if she left. I couldn’t forget about the gym junkie either, he had dumped like a gallon worth of protein mix into his water at dinner. That was before the protein shake he made on the table.

    “You’ve only been on four dates Erin. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will a relationship.”

    “That’s literally the idea of dating apps,” I chuckled to myself for a second. “They are all about just meeting these guys and hooking up. There’s no relationship or love. There is definitely no bonding and getting to know a person.” I pulled at my shirt. My nervous tendencies were starting to show.

    “True,” Clara paused for a moment. I wondered what she was thinking about. I watched the girl very closely. Her hand was tapping against her knee, her feet hanging in the air. “But you’ve only been on four dates, do you really think you can judge how an app works after only four dates?”

    “Um, yes.” I nodded my head with a slight chuckle. Of course I could judge the app on the four shitty dates I have been on.

    “Oh silly girl, you need to just keep trying.” Clara smiled, I looked down at the time only to realize I had an appointment with someone in a few minutes.

    “Sorry to cut this conversation short, I need to go meet a girl for an appointment. Lucky for you though I do have another date scheduled for tonight. Fingers crossed it goes well.” I tried to perk myself up slightly before leaving the office. I made my way down the stairs and into the main room. A young bride walked in the door.

    “Hi welcome to Little White Dress Bridal, I will be with you in just one moment.” I walked behind the counter to grab my notebook with all of my information in it. Heading back around the table I opened the book looking for the brides name. “Are you Rebecca?” I asked with a smile. The bride eagerly nodded her head. Her short brown hair bouncing as she did.

    “I’m seriously so excited about this appointment.” I led her towards her own private area, with her own pedestal and dressing room. She beamed with excitement that I was beginning to wish I would one day have. My mood was both brightened and worsened Rebecca.

    “We are very appreciative of your excitement. Hopefully that means you’ve heard good things.” I tugged at the shirt I'm wearing  trying to make myself look more professional.

    “Well I’ve been trying to get an appointment here for so long now. I was beginning to think you guys just didn’t let anyone in.” A  pang shot through my heart. Our doors were always open for anyone. I was here to help as many people as possible.

    “Well glad you got one.” I paused for a moment, directing the girls to the couch. Looking at the bride I put a smile on my face. “How about you and I head into the dressing room and we can get an idea of what you want.” I led her towards the dressing room, she waved bye to her friends.

   
    We entered the small room with the single desk and vase with lilies hanging over the side. The excitement from Rebecca was almost addicting but for some reason I just could seem to get me out of the slump I was in. I had a date tonight and I think the emotions from that was just really bumming me out. I was terrified that this date was going to be bad just like every other one. I was halfway through my bet with my mother and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle this.

    I sat down in my seat. Rebecca taking the only other seat in the small room. I cleared my throat trying to push my nerves way down. I needed to make it through this appointment. I tried to force another smile but this one seemed more forced than the other twenty forced ones.

    “Okay, so tell me about what you are looking for and your venue?” I opened my notebook getting ready to write quickly. Usually brides just spewed their ideas and it was a struggle to keep up. Rebecca didn’t seem to do that. She was overly excited this entire appointment but as soon as we got her into the dressing room she seemed to calm down.

    “I’m not really looking for anything, I’m already married….” She paused for a moment. If I had a drink I would have spit it all over the wall. She was already married?

    “To the guy this wedding is with right?” I questioned not really sure if the question had made any sense or not. What had I gotten myself into? Was I going to have to lie to her entire family for the rest of this consult? I wasn’t good at lying, I wasn’t good at hiding my emotions. I definitely wouldn’t be good at hiding a secret like that.

    “Oh yes of course.” She cut me off. My mind had raced to so many different situations. I relaxed a little. At least there was no secret I was going to have to hide. “We got married earlier without telling our families. I didn't want to have to worry about all the hassle.” I smiled, she was probably  right, it sounded awfully hard to plan a wedding.

I finished helping Rebecca just before it was time for lunch. She paid my mother at the counter for the dress she had finally decided on before leaving without a second thought. It made me happy to see how excited brides were in their new wedding dresses. Meeting up with my mother and Clara, we decided to take a slightly early lunch.

    I ordered the same food I always ordered at every restaurant. We sat in the same table we always did, and we talked about the same stuff. But Rebecca had really stuck with me. The things she had said about marriage. The wedding wasn’t important it was the journey you take with your best friend. In her case her journey took her to Cabo and they eloped. They still haven’t told either of their parents and it’s been the most relaxing part of their entire relationship not having that constant worry.

    Clara snapped her fingers in front of my face waking me from my daydreaming. I mumbled an apology before looking at the two woman in front of me.

    “Earth the Erin. Seriously are you okay, you’ve been acting weird all day.” Clara gave me a slide glance digging into her food. I nodded my head shrugging my shoulders at the same time. I guess that sends mixed signals.

    “Yes I’m fine, I’m just really nervous about tonight.” I twisted the straw in my drink before grabbing my first french fry. I stared at it a little more interested than one person should be interested in a french fry. My mom grabbed a fry off my plate quickly popping it into her mouth. I glanced away from the fry in my hand, no emotion. She shook her head flinging her arms up in the air.

    “Damn, something is really wrong with her. She always freaks when I do that.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at how dramatic my mother had become. Sometimes when her and Clara got together they fed off of each other's personality way too much.

    “You really need to get over all of these dates that have gone wrong. I don’t understand why they are affecting you so much. Do you not remember how many bad dates I’ve been on?” Clara shoved a forkful of lettuce drenched in ranch into her mouth. I watched as the nearly perfect weirdo chewed awkwardly. I shook my head again.

    “Just not ready to sit through another shitty date.” I grabbed another fry plopping that one in my mouth too. I figured I should probably actually eat my food before our lunch break was over.

    “Well what is the name of the guy you are going on a date with tonight?” My mother asks.

    “His name is Andrew or something like that. I’d have to check. Honestly I didn’t really go through his profile a whole ton.”

    “YOU BROKE RULE NUMBER ONE!” Clara nearly jumps out of her chair throwing her silverware on the table. I jumped in my seat, the sudden loudness of her voice startling me. I wanted to laugh and scream all at the same time. My heart was racing so fast I could hear it in my ears. My mother in the same boat I’m in.

    “When the hell did you give me rules?” I panicked questioning the psychopath sitting next to me. I wanted to switch seats. Honestly I wanted to switch tables. Can I get new friends? Clara started coughing on the bite of food that was left in her mouth from her yelling. She leaned over in her seat hacking and coughing away at the lettuce stuck in the back of her throat. I looked around the room. I didn’t know what to do. My mother handed her the glass of water sitting in front of her and she happily took it. Downing as much water as she could between fits of choking she eventually calmed down. I could feel my face turning red. People were beginning to pull out their phones. I’m sure any second if this keeps going on they would start filming us.

    “Oh god Clara are you okay?” I questioned. My heart was still racing. Clara had gone from scaring the shit out of me to nearly dying all in the matter of a minute.

    “Yes, pay the damn check, we have to go back to the shop right now! I need to do some internet stalking!” She placed her hand in the air like she was about to conquer a mission. I slightly smacked my forehead. These people I hung out with. I wouldn’t want it to be anybody else. A smile was forming on my face, my heart rate was finally able to slow down. Clara jumped from the table, pulling her wallet out as quickly as she could. Running to the lady at the cashier she handed her a fifty dollar bill before whipping her hand through the air. She obviously wanted my mother and I to come immediately.

    “I’m not even done with my food!” My mother yelled. Clara didn’t care. She turned around marching her way over to my mother before grabbing her arm and dragging her out of her seat. My mother stumbled behind her nearly falling to the floor. I could feel my face getting red again. I left my seat quickly following the circus act out of the diner and onto the busy New York streets. The place we were at was literally across the road from the bridal shop. By the time I was on the sidewalk, Clara had already dragged my mother halfway to the shop. I ran into the road trying to dodge the cars to catch up to my people. I was out of breath by the time we hit the front entrance. I really needed to start working out.

    Clara led the way up to my office. She burst through the door nearly forcing my mother onto the couch. She managed her way into my chair furiously typing on the keyboard. It didn’t take her long to access my tinder account. She swiped through all my information finding an Andrew.

    “How does it feel to be manhandled?” I teased my mother. Placing my hands on the back of the chair Clara was sitting in, I leaned over her shoulder watching her. She pulled up Andrew’s profile, her eyes scanning the page as if her life depended on it. I tried to read the words but she was moving too quickly. She was a girl on a mission.

    “Looks good!” She said quickly closing out of the web browser. Now it was my turn to throw my hands in the air.

    “What you barely even looked!” I shouted back at her. If anyone was in the hallway they probably thought something completely different was going on in here.

    “Excuse me, I’m still waiting for my apology Clara, was it necessary to pull me away from my lunch like that?”

    “Yes!” Clara and I said in unison. We both looked at eachother before high fiving. Something we did whenever we both said the same thing at the same time. My mother rolled her eyes.

    “Okay now that we know he isn’t going to try to kidnap my precious Erin, we need to get her all dressed up and pretty for tonight!” She shook her hands excitedly. I pretended to act offended.

    “You say that like I’m not always pretty.” I shot her a side glance. She shrugged her shoulders.

    “Yeah yeah whatever. Come on let’s find you a dress.” Clara grabbed my arm and opened the closet in my office. I only had a couple of emergency dresses just in case I had an important last minute dinner with a client or a vendor. Clara shuffled through them obviously annoyed at her lack of choices. I wasn’t going to have an entire wardrobe at work. That seemed ridiculous. “You have literally nothing here!”

    “Of course I don’t, how many dresses do I really need at work?” I exclaimed.

    My mom and Clara both gave me death glares at the same time. “You work in a bridal shop, and you asking how many dresses do you really need?” Clara spoke slowly making sure I heard the irony in that sentence. I shook my head.

    “Ha-ha you guys are so funny.” I stuck my tongue out at them.

    “Here, wear this one.” She pulled out a blue dress that had long sleeves, and the back was cut out. I grabbed the dress from her. I could wear this but did I really want to wear something as sexy as this.

    It was like Clara could read my mind. “Yes you want to wear this.” She pushed it closer to my body. I hugged it  to my chest, before ushering the two girls out. “You better be putting that on!” Clara flung her finger through the air, trying to stick it in my face. I rolled my eyes. I took my time to take my clothes off, allowing myself some time to breathe. I hated undressing in my office. I hated the feeling of changing in a place that wasn’t designated for that.

Once I finally got the dress on Clara and my mother’s jaws dropped to the floor. I felt the color rushing back to my face.

“That looks amazing!” My mother complimented before running up to hug me. I hugged her back. “Tonight is going to be a good date.”

“You guys are acting like this is my wedding night.” My voice wobbled both with excitement and nerves. But they were taking this date way too serious.

~*~

I stood outside the restaurant as nervous as ever. You'd think with how many dates I've been on in the last month and a half i'd be a seasoned vet. I wasn't though. I rubbed my arms through the blue sleeves, mostly just so my hands had something to do. Tonight I was meet up with a really attractive man. Probably the most attractive one so far. A taxi sped to the side of the curb, a man jumping out shortly after. It was Andrew. I could feel the butterflies forming in my chest.

“Are you Erin?” He said in a scruffy voice, one I could honestly listen to forever. I smiled and nodded. He leaned forward his strong hand grasping my arm. He kissed my cheek leaving fire in the spot his lips had touched. Backing away he glanced over me one more time. “You look absolutely breathtaking.” He smiled before I wrapped my arm in his. He lead me into the fancy restaurant.

“Reservation for two, they should but under ‘Miles’” he told the hostess, her long sleek purple dress kissing the floor as she swayed. She smiled nodding her head before leading us through a bunch of overly dressed dinner-goers. My heart jumped at the sound of him organizing reservations for us ahead of time. He was already showing more potential than the other guys.

We arrived at a table that was well lit with candlelight, a small decorative floral centerpiece sat in the middle of the table. He allowed me to sit in the booth first before taking his own seat. The hostess smiled another perfect smile before leaving. I watched as a waiter rushed over to our table. He set two fancy glasses on the table before filling them to the brim with ice cold water. I mouthed a thank you, Andrews voice entering the atmosphere once again.

“How does a beautiful woman like you not already have a boyfriend or something? Why would you waste your time on an app like Tinder?” His voice was soft and tender, it felt very welcoming. I took a second to really take in all of his facial details. He was a perfect man, his jaw was sharp but rounded perfectly at the chin. His eyes were the greenest emerald I’ve ever seen a human being posses. His hair flowed like the ocean waves, traveling across his head leaving him with one of the most handsome hairstyles. His smile showed how white his teeth were, and his suit he wore gave him the aura of confidence.

I shook my head realizing he had asked me a question. I needed to learn to stop zoning out so much.

“If i’m wasting my time on an app like tinder, then why exactly do you have it as well?” I took a sip of my water. The cold liquid shocking me slightly.

“Okay true, that was a bad question” He said in a silvery voice. I nodded my head in response. “Okay, what brought you to the app of tinder?”

“My mother and my best friend made me get an account. Apparently I didn't date enough.” I rolled my eyes. I wasn't sure this was really what I wanted to talk about.

“What do you like to do? Or what do you do for a living?”  

He coughed slightly while covering his mouth. “I work in sales and advertisement. So mostly I just work from home or from my phone wherever.”

“Thats cool! So you don't really have a schedule to stick to. You really work whenever you want to?”

“Yeah, I make my own hours, but at the same time I also make my own paycheck it's actually really nice.”

“I own a bridal shop, I'm there some crazy hours sometimes.” The same waiter that brought us water came back to take our orders. I panicked, I hadn't looked at the menu at all.

“Can we have a few more moments?” Andrew questioned the waiter. He nodded before walking away. “Sorry, I just wanted a little more time alone with you before we had food to eat.” He reached over and grabbed my hand, holding it on top of the table.

I swear I could have died.