Unedited

"Love is a dangerous game to play" - Unknown

"I'm so sick of going on all these ridiculous dates. I wish I wouldn't have schedules so many of them so far in advance." I complained to a few of the girls in the lobby of the shop. We were waiting for another couple of minutes before opening the store. This Tuesday was going to be a slow day. We didn't have very many appointments and I wasn't sure we were going to have that many walk-ins either.

"I bet." A girl named Natalie responded. I wasn't too sure they actually cared about what I had to say. Maybe they were just responding because I was the boss. I knew Clara was interested and I knew she cared about the things I was saying.

"I have another lunch date today with some business-man. Honestly a month ago a businessman was exactly what I wanted but now that I think about it. That's just not really who I get along with." I laid my head down on the table. I really shouldn't be wasting my fifteen minutes break like this. I should be relaxing and enjoying some time with my friend.

"Because you are a business woman, I think your life would be so boring if you hooked up with a business man." I shot a glance over to Clara. What did she mean?

"Why?"

"Because do you really want to go home at night to some man who is just going to bore you with numbers and spreadsheets? That's why Andrew interested you so much. It was an adventure. You did something you've never done before. It was new and fresh and something we all know was way out of your comfort zone." I couldn't help but chuckle. Clara was right and I knew she was.

Honestly, that's why Carter and I got along so well. He pulled me out of my slump and helped me get out and do things. I've never skipped school until I started hanging out with Carter. He helped me learn who I really was and that was a good thing in a friendship.

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," I said to Clara. She was truly a good friend and I loved everything about her. I wasn't sure how I would have made it through this bet all by myself.

"Duh!" She stood up from the table heading back towards the lobby. "I need to go make some brides fabulous." With the over dramatic exit, the room suddenly felt empty.

"I guess I better get back to it guys," I said to the other girls in the room. They all stopped their conversations and said their goodbyes. I smiled at the other girls that worked for me. I should take some time to really get to know them. Clara had always been my right-hand woman and I've never ventured past work relationships with anyone else. I never saw a reason too.

I found myself back in the lobby of the bridal shop. Looking around the nearly empty room there really wasn't much I could do to help anyone out. I decided to head upstairs and try to answer some emails before I left for my lunch date. It'd been weird the last few months I'd spent more of my lunch breaks on terrible dates than I actually spent with my mother or Clara. I wasn't sure I liked that.

Turning on the light in my office I found my seat and clicking the computer to life. It wasn't long before I had followed my same routine to my emails. Pulling my phone out of the back pocket on my jeans I set it on the desk. There weren't any messages. My heart sank. Andrew still hadn't messaged me. I couldn't take this anymore.

I flipped through the apps on my phone until I found Tinder. If he wasn't going to message me I was going to message him. My brain was playing tug of war. My heart thinking of too many boys. Carter and Andrew fought for the attention in my mind. Finally, I was on Andrew's profile. I didn't know where to go from here. Was I supposed to just say hello? Do I freak out and ask him why he hasn't messaged me yet? What do I do?

I locked my phone quickly throwing it against the table. I couldn't text him. I had no reason to and no idea what to say. I wasn't that kind of girl. Maybe he was really busy, maybe he didn't enjoy the date as much as I had. I couldn't do that. I grabbed at my hair resting my elbows on the table balancing my head against the palms of my hands.

I was so frustrated I had wanted to cry. I didn't know if Andrew was worth it. I knew he had made me feel so amazing. Did he not feel the same way though? He wasn't making any obvious advancements towards going on another date. I didn't want to sit here and waste time if things weren't going to go anywhere. Did I actually want things to go anywhere?

I wasn't sure how to react to Carter being back in town either. Was I supposed to text him and go hang out just like we used to? Where was our relationship supposed to go? There was nothing going on in my life that I really understood right now. All I knew was I wasn't going to be able to make it through the date I had at lunch.

I tried to find something, anything that would distract me from the boys. They were consuming way too much in my mind and I simply couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted them to not control so much of my everyday activities. I wanted to know what I was doing in my life again. I wanted to not feel so helpless and confused.

I read through the first email on my computer. It was an email from a client. I read further into the email a little confused at where this was going. They were informing me that they were canceling their appointment due to a negative post they read about our shop in a magazine. My heart sunk. I knew exactly what article they were talking about.

"Stephen," I said to myself. Hot tears started terrorizing my eyes. I wasn't sure what to do and I knew I needed to get out of here. He was hurting my business and I hadn't even talked to him in over a month. It'd been awhile since he had posted that hurtful article.

I rushed down the stairs leaving my office door wide open. That broke rule number one. Running towards the door, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. I ran smack dab into my mother knocking both of us off of our feet. Why did we have to wear heels to work?

I groaned as I tried to pick myself up off the floor. My mother doing the same. The tears flowed freely now. They fell from my face like a South Carolina rainstorm, creating puddles on my chest. My mother leaned forward. I couldn't hide the fact that I was bawling now. I didn't want her to see me cry.

"Oh, honey." She said pulling me into a tight embrace in the middle of the lobby. "It's not that big of a deal you were just going to fast it's okay." I only began crying harder at the sound of her words. She had no clue what I was crying about.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't..." I sputtered on a couple of the tears dragging down my face.

"Here let's go up to your office." My mother helped me up to the office at the top of the stairs. I laid down on the couch. I could feel my body shutting down from all the questions brewing in the back of my mind. "Honey, what is wrong?"

"The bet, I'm so confused. I don't know what I want who I want, what I'm supposed to do. All I know is that I'm so tired of living my life just waiting for the next day. Andrew hasn't messaged me back. I honestly don't know how I feel about the fact that Carter is back. What am I supposed to do with Carter being back? Do we hang out every day like we used to? Do we just leave it at lunch yesterday and a dinner date tonight? I don't understand what's going on with anyone and anything. I'm not myself and I'm not really sure how to figure out how to get back to myself." The words flew out of my mouth like a hurricane. I wanted to warn my mother to duck or take cover but it was too late. My brain had exploded and every little thought was shooting out at rapid speeds.

"Forget about the bet Erin, you need to do what is right for you." Her soft hands rubbed my back in comfort. I could feel the tears still flowing freely. I wanted them to stop. I didn't want to cry so hard.

"I can't forget about it mother. I just can't. I already have my dates set up for the rest of the days. I can't just cancel all of them." I tried to wipe the tears away. I wanted them to be done with. I was done crying. I didn't want to be that weak.

I sat up on the couch like lightning had struck me. I was pretty sure I had startled my mother in the process.

"Why can't you just cancel them? Hell don't even show up. I just don't want you dealing with all of this if it's just going to hurt you. I didn't mean to push you, I just want what's best for you." That was just it, this was what was best for me. I was going nowhere, and going on all these dates showed me that. I would literally just work at the shop, only talk to Clara and my mother and never ever find my happy ending. Carter would have never returned and I wouldn't have met Andrew. So maybe these boys were driving me insane but at least it was something I could think about, I could spend my time worrying about. It was something in my day other than just working and sleeping.

"No, I needed this. I know what I need to do. I need to go on my lunch date and really try. I need to go on my dinner date and figure out things with Carter. I need to either message Andrew or just get over the idea." I stood up brushing the black shirt I was wearing. I glanced at myself in the decorative mirror. My eyes were red and really puffy. Wiping at my skin I tried to do whatever I could to make myself look as normal as possible. I wasn't looking my best, but my date would never really know.

Quickly grabbing my purse off the top shelf by my desk I made sure to give my mother a hug before heading for the main door.

"Good luck Erin." I heard my mother shout from the top of the stairs.

"Thank you." I quickly rushed out the lobby doors hailing a cab. I needed to get to the restaurant I was meeting my date at. I was in the taxi as soon as it pulled up to the curb. There was no time to waste.

My heart was racing in the cap. I had no clue what I was going to do. My body and mind were starting to scare me. I was afraid I was going to run straight up to the man and kiss him or attack him. I tried to calm myself down by watching to cars driving by. It was New York so watching traffic was actually a pretty interesting thing. The amount of near accidents was amazing and if that didn't distract you I don't know what will.

I was nearly calmed down by the time the taxi pulled up to the restaurant. It was a nice Italian place I used to enjoy. I haven't been here for quite some time the last time being with Carter about a week before he left. My heart pang again at the thought of his name. I shook my head. I needed to stop worrying about all these other people. "Erin you are here for you. You need to calm down and just focus on the situation. You are here for you." The self-encouragement did little to calm me down. It actually made things worse as now people were looking at me like a mental patient. This is what I get for talking to myself.

I couldn't wait to get off of the stuffy streets.

I checked in at the hostess podium only to be told that I would have to take a seat until my date had arrived. We had reservations but since they were under his name he had to be there. I took a seat in the waiting area. Hopefully he shows up.

I tried to count sheep. I tried to name all the states. Hell, I even tried to count the teeth in my mouth. Time was just traveling so slow. I watched the clock. The minutes were passing by and still no date. How much longer am I supposed to wait? I wasn't sure how long girls typically sat here by themselves before people started to question. I started to question the situation. Like how many girls sat here lonely this week? How many of them had dates that never showed up? Was I the only one?

A tall slightly attractive man in a gray suit walked through the door. He didn't seem rushed but I had a feeling that was the man I was waiting for. He ran his hand through his salty blonde hair. I brushed the wrinkles out of my dress watching as he talked to the lady. She pointed in my direction. He thanked her. Grabbing her hand and holding it for an awkwardly long amount of time. Winking he began walking my way. I shook my head. A face smile covered my lips. Within the first three minutes of him being here, I knew I was going to be leaving early. So much for giving him an honest chance. But didn't I technically give him an honest chance by waiting for twenty minutes?

We were led to a table near the front of the restaurant and that made me happy. It would be easier to leave quickly if I really needed to. Since when did I start thinking like that?

"You look stunning." He said. His words came off as dead. They were emotionless. Or was it me?

"Thank you," I mumbled. I wasn't sure it was loud enough for him to hear. I took my seat brushing down my dress.

We sat at the table for a few moments before anyone had said anything. I had already decided this date was not going to go anywhere. I thought I was going to storm in here and really try. I thought I was going to make it work out.

"So what do you do for a living?" I looked up from the menu on the table.

"I own a bridal shop downtown." I knew he wasn't really interested in what I had to say. He was just making small talk to get this date over with.

"A bridal shop? Aren't you a little too young to own a bridal shop?" His question came off more as an insult. Of course he would say that.

"Why because I'm under forty?" I knew I shouldn't have said that. He leaned back in his chair a little taken off guard. I went back to searching through the menu. This wasn't going at all like how I had planned.

"Well, how did you get the shop?" Now I was a little caught off guard. I had expected him to just drop the conversation. There really wasn't a whole ton of meaning to it anyway.

"My father passed it down to me when he passed away." Sipping the water that was placed in front of me.

"Oh I'm so sorry to hear about that, and don't let this come off too harshly or insensitive but why didn't your mother get the store? You do have a mother don't you?" Of course, I had a mother, that was a stupid question. I had a mother that was amazing.

"He wanted to keep it in the blood family," I mumbled quickly not really wanting to talk about it. Evelyn wasn't actually my mother. I looked up to her as a mother, we were more friends than she was my mother. My birth mother had passed away at a very young age before I even had a chance to meet her properly. Evelyn and my father started dating a couple years after my mother's death and by the time I was four she had married my father and been with him until the day he died.

I hated it when people brought up or reminded me that I didn't have any birth parents left. It made me feel like an outcast. Evelyn had been the only thing I've known when it comes to having a mother. So yes she was that figure for me but she wasn't actually my mother.

"Blood family? Your mother isn't blood?" I really wanted him to realize I wasn't comfortable talking about this kind of stuff. Especially with strangers. Clara didn't even know that Evelyn wasn't my mother. It wasn't something I needed to tell her. As far as I was concerned Evelyn raised me and she was basically my mother.

"I guess you would say stepmother." The bile formed in the back of my throat as soon as I said 'stepmother'. That was not what she was. "Listen we really probably shouldn't be talking about this on a first date?" I mentioned to him.

~*~

I sat in my bedroom getting ready for my 'date' with Carter. Hopefully, it was better than the situation at lunch. I was still a little angry at how sexist and nosey that man was. I didn't even remember his name. He was such a waste of time. I had left early and took the rest of the day off. My mother understood having seen me in such a panic. I felt really bad. I'd been slacking so much at the shop lately. I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling of my apartment. There was a soft knock on the door and I knew it was Carter. He always knocked like that. I stood up brushing out the new dress I had put on specifically for tonight. I wasn't sure why I had tried so hard to look good. There was so much pressure on me to be perfect.

"Hello," I said swinging the door wide open. Carter set a basket down on the wood floor before wrapping his arms around my waist. My hands found their place on the back of his neck. His strong body lifting mine off the ground in an embrace.

"How are you doing?" He smiled at me placing me back on the ground. Grabbing his basket he bee lined it for the couch. I was a little dazed from the sudden embrace.

"It's been a day." I couldn't help but sound slightly exhausted and I felt bad for that. I really wanted to make the time we spent together better.

"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?" He opened the one side of the basket hiding the contents from me. I took a seat on the couch beside him. He removed two champagne glasses before pulling out a wine we used to drink when we were younger. It was the cheap stuff. The only stuff we could afford to buy underage.

"You really were such a bad influence." I couldn't help but laugh, a wide smile covering my face. This took me back to being nineteen again.

"So tell me about your day." He poured two glasses before handing me one. Leaning back against the couch he looked at me waiting patiently for whatever I had to say.

"Fine." I started. I took a sip of my wine before closing my eyes to rearrange my thoughts. Should I tell him about my date?