day 27 with jaehyung
17:15

i didn't forget that the boys were coming over today, but it surprised me how early they were. they'd usually be here at least thirty minutes late, but they came before it even hit five.

right now, we plan to take jaehyung for a little hang out, but the rejecting weather tells us to stay inside since the storm isn't going to calm down anytime soon, so we decided to watch a movie instead.

the couch was already cramped with the three, dowoon, wonpil and jaehyung. sungjin and i decided to sit by the kitchen counter as it isn't too far from the living room, but enough for the both of us to have a silent conversation.

"i'm pretty sure it's hard for you to tell him he's leaving, isn't it?" sungjin says, drinking on his cup of soda as he glanced at jaehyung, who's completely occupied by the couple.

"i don't think i'm going to tell him." i respond, sighing as doubt starts to fill over me. "but, i don't know if i'm going to do the right thing."

he freezes, his face turning into a serious one. "what do you mean?" he puts his cup away, and i could feel that he's definitely concerned.

"it's a rash decision, but i plan to leave him at a bus station where kevin and i are supposed to meet."

though, i recall he wasn't drinking anything, sungjin still manages to spit out something from his mouth. "what the fuck— you idiot, of course that's a rash decision!" he raises his voice, but enough so that the others won't be able to hear.

i knew i would get this kind of reaction from him, knowing that he's way more responsible than i am. "what am i supposed to do then? what if he doesn't remember who kevin is, and when he gets taken away from me, he's just gonna burst out crying?" i ramble on, even if it won't faze him.

"so, you just decided with that, as if there isn't any other choice?!" he spits, and his hands were forming fists. "i'm resisting the urge to punch you right now, but i want to hear what you have to say first."

what's there to hear? you've heard this a thousand times. i thought to myself, he knows how i used to struggle with anxiety, heck, it was even the reason why we became friends. i don't want to burden him anymore, and what does it matter if i tell him what i really feel? there isn't much time left, this is the last day jaehyung is staying here.

"i don't know what to do, hyung." it was the only thing i could say.

"yes, you do. it's in the back of your head, you're just scared."

it's silent, sungjin's fists were already clenching in anger, but he was still careful with his tone.

yet, "i understand." his grip softens, "but, you have to think about this carefully. jaehyung is traumatized, and abandoning him like that isn't going to help it either." he adds on, and i just listened. "of course, he's going to cry, maybe throw a tantrum, but that's all because he's grown attached to you as well."

"you can't change what he feels right now." my eyes widen from his words that were shooting right at me. "but you can change the outcome, and abandoning him is the last thing you want to do."

right, my vision was too narrow to realize this. there's so many ways to have jaehyung leave without a problem, yet i decided on something that would make him more broken than he already is.

i only have a day to think about it, but something with sungjin's words made me realize that i don't need time, i just need courage.

"thanks." i mutter.

he chuckles, patting my shoulder. "you're still an idiot, even in this book." i hear him say under his breath.

"huh? what are you talking about?"

dowoon's voice draws my attention away when calls out for the both of us, "yo, are you guys in for monopoly?" he asks, and i see jaehyung waiting patiently for our answer as his eyes gazes into mine.

i scoff, "hell yeah."

—

21:31

four hours was enough, though it was a little loud earlier, i was able to gather my thoughts and ultimately decided on something that won't hurt jaehyung at all.

they left a few minutes ago, and thankfully, jaehyung didn't seem so sad about it. the last time they left, the atmosphere was way too gloomy for me.

oh right, i realized i had to talk to him. "jaehyung," i call, his head popping out from the couch as he was sitting on the floor. "i gotta tell you something."

he doesn't move.

"come here, idiot." i pat the chair next to mine, and he immediately springs upward as he rushes his way towards the chair. "careful, you might fall."

i didn't speak, not yet. instead, i gaze at his stance. he has both his palms inbetween his legs, and his eyes were glimmering as he waits for me to say something.

i turn my head away as i held my laugh, fuck, he's so cute.

faking a cough, i fix myself before he gets confused. "anyways.. we're gonna have to talk about it, no matter what." i start, yet i already want to shove a fist up my mouth. what the hell was that word choice? why do i sound like the world is going to end?

regardless, i continued as he seems to listen. "you're right, i was just keeping you in." i say, but his facial expression doesn't change. "that's why.. i found your friends, with the help of wonpil and dowoon."

"friends..? you mean, wonpil and dowoon are my friends, right?" he still manages to be cute in situations like these, and i can't help but bite my lip as i tried to hide my smile.

i have to get to the point, as soon as possible. "yeah, they're your friends, sungjin is your friend too." i say and he smiles, "but i meant, your friends."

"my friends?"

"yes, the ones you met before me."

he seemed to understand, as he moves back a little from surprise. "i know, i've already spoke to them, and we're planning to bring you back." i continued, even if it feels like my heart was dropping.

just like me, he continues to listen as well. "you're going home tomorrow," i say. "and you'll be put under therapy, so that you'll gain your memories again."

i shut my eyes, i can't bear to look at him, or i'll burst into tears. something about the air screams sadness and grief, but as soon as i felt his cold touch on my hands..

"okay." it was the only thing he said.

the tears that were forming in my eyes splatter as i quickly flutter them open, "wait, what? are you not sad?" i ask, and he shakes his head.

his smile was soft, but his face looked sad. "i'm happy you're telling me the truth." he says, as he starts to cry.

my breath hitches, "you.. why?" before i knew it, my tears fell down my cheeks.

"b-because.. i believe in you." he says inbetween his muffled cries, wiping his tears away with his jacket. "and.. i'll make sure to find you when i get better."

no..

i love you. i wanted to say, but i pull his arms and held him in a tight hug.

—

yes the kiss was an accident i forgot to say

and BEFORE ANYONE JUMPS INTO CONCLUSIONS::::: YOUNGHYUN LOVES JAE PLATONICALLY!!@@ fjzdjkszhzjdndj just sayin anywayz