4 years after
14:23

cold.

it didn't feel the same from the last time he went to the beach, instead, he feels empty and cold. something about the air just feels incomplete and he knows exactly why, but he doesn't want to put his finger on it as it would cause him to feel sad.

however, it would be absurd that he'd make his way to the beach knowing that he would be miserable. regardless, he wanted to see it before he prepares for summer festival he'll be performing with his band.

so, as a way for him to say he had a reason to go, he brought his friend with him.

"mister, you're awfully quiet today." the little girl, who's not so little from four years ago, spoke beside him. though he's seen her at least once a day, he's still surprised at how much she's grown.

he shuts his eyes, feeling the wind past him. "wasn't i always quiet?" he smiled, remembering how much he couldn't form words, to a point where frustration would take over him.

she stares at the tall boy who towers greatly over her, curiosity filling even if she already knows what had taken place, she can't help but be curious about the boy being solemn since he acts as if nothing happened. still, she can't figure him out no matter how much she'd stare. she thinks he would end up saying, 'you have to grow up to understand' when she's aware it's nothing she has to grow up for.

humming as she leaned back, the wind pulled strands of her blonde locks - that he constantly nagged her about, since it's a flashy color - away. "i guess so, you were really shy the first time i met you." she said, "or you were probably just dumb."

his breath hitches at her remarks, it was definitely spot on and like an arrow to the heart. "yes,"

she was more confused than earlier, as the latter would keep the conversation going like usual, but the short response took her by surprise. "what, just yes?" she turns to look at him again, quizzing a brow while he remained nonchalant.

nodding with a soundful hum, "yes."

her confused look didn't go away, but she pouts at the limited response that was given to her as she turns her gaze away. "you'd come back with a roast, or something." she mumbles, but enough to let him hear.

right, he just soaked it all up. a simple three word sentence was the only thing he wanted to tell to the person who made him feel home, safe, and everything that describes of such. at the time, he wasn't able to figure out what he felt, despite the amount of romance series he used to sit for.

which makes him wonder, it was so long ago; the day he almost said it, yet he can't exactly remember when he was about to. could it be the day we cried at the kitchen counter? he thought.

the past has been a little bit of a blur ever since he started getting treatment, but he always kept his memories about younghyun in check. he doesn't want to forget him at all.

"it's been four years, right?" he turns to yerim, who has her eyes flickering shut.

she realizes she almost dozed off from the silence, and jaehyung's voice brought her back to her senses. "uhuh, right." she rubs her eyes, yawning as she did so. "that weed dude is probably out by now."

weed dude. he smiles to himself now that he's aware of what it was unlike before. "i guess, do you think he still smells like weed?" he jokingly asked.

"if he does, he would've served for nothing, then." she remarked, her tone falling into a deadpan. "i wonder why he served, it's just weed." adding on, but her curiosity doesn't reciprocate with jaehyung. he could only assume that he understands, especially from what he's seen.

the look younghyun always had on him was guilt, and jaehyung could definitely sense it. at the time, he wasn't able to comprehend it. yet every time he sees the person who nurtured him having a sad look on his face, with a strong tinge of guilt, it frustrated him. the frustration had only gone worse now that he could piece out knows why younghyun felt that way.

"i think he couldn't handle the guilt, it looked like he was drowning in them, too." jaehyung spoke ever so softly, though the words that came out pierced him. "if it weren't for me, he wouldn't have done it."

the sentence only made yerim upset. throughout their little friendship, jaehyung spent the most guilt-tripping himself for not noticing the signs. "don't put yourself down like that, mister. it's better he serves his time in jail than making a living off of drugs." she stated.

he sighs, his wisps of breath evaporating into thin air. it's winter, after all. for him, it's gotten way colder than it has ever since he left younghyun. "you know, you're pretty wise for a fourteen year old." he commented, walking away as soon as he did before he could get tackled by the little girl.

"of course i am, but i threw out all my plans for you 'cause no one would even think about going to the beach on december!" she yells, but he's already walking off to the distance. groaning reluctantly, she lifts herself to catch up with the lanky dude. "and honestly, that was pretty dumb of me!"

while he was walking, he thought of a petty comeback that came off as a question. "how much do you wanna bet that younghyun's gonna come here?"

"none, stop being so delusional and get over him." she furrows her brows as she catches her breath, "he's ugly anyways."

"you can't say that when you're the embodiment of squirtle." his brows lifted with a sigh as he retaliates, throwing her off completely by how haphazard he is when he comes back to insult her, even if it's not even worth getting mad about.

yet, she couldn't bite back. "shut up." she gritted, frustrated at herself because she knew she couldn't make fun of jaehyung's looks.

he stuck his tongue out childishly, but due to her independent nature, she only cringes in response. "you're so immature, i can't believe it." she crosses her arms as she huffed. "were you always like this?"

"dunno, no, actually i think i always was." he hums, "if i wasn't, i wouldn't have gotten my head bonked that day." though it was an odd way to word it, yerim knew exactly what he was referring to and she just nods in agreement.

"actually, do you remember what happened during your time in that place?" his breath hitched, he couldn't really blame her for being curious.

however, as much as he wanted to answer, he couldn't bring himself to say a word about it, or even think about what took place. it scars him so much, that even a thought or a flash of those memories would place another scar on him.

he doesn't want to remember it.

through his firmly shut eyes, he felt a stroke of warmth against the back of his hand. "it's okay, mister. you don't have to tell me." she spoke, ever so softly when she saw how he choked his tears up.

"thanks." he mumbles, his eyes looking down as he wipes the little tears he couldn't manage to keep in.

it was a norm for the both of them to go back and forth like this, since throughout them being acquaint with one another, jaehyung was the most who changed as he was going through therapy. yerim learned a lot of things about sympathizing, - especially since she's diagnosed a sociopath - but sometimes, her cluelessness gets the best of her. thankfully, he knew it's something she isn't aware of, so he doesn't mind it at all.

"let's head back. i got band practice." he cuts through the silence.

"right, i have to run errands for the bakery today." yerim lifts her backpack up to her shoulder as she wipes off the sand from her bottom, "oh right! when is the festival again? i can't keep up with dates." she asks, though she knew exactly when the festival would take place.

"on the third day of february."

she smirks playfully, but tries to hide it. "okay, that would be enough time then." she says as she's already walking off in a different direction. "i'll see you! bye!" she waved.

waving back, he yells, "get me sausage bread for tomorrow!"

as she disappeared in the distance, he would usually take his leave as well, but being by the beach was different. for some reason, he couldn't just walk away yet. he wanted to stay, just like how it was back then at the bus stop, but he knew he couldn't turn back time.

unconsciously, his legs made its way towards the shore, and through his leathered boots, he felt the coldness of the water hitting his feet. "it's awfully colder than last time." he spoke, though there was no one to listen.

still, he wanted to get the words he kept in his chest out. what's the harm in doing so? someone might see him, but it doesn't matter to him anymore, and more importantly, it's only because he feels that he won't ever meet younghyun again.

but, the words that came out were nothing of the ones he constantly thought of. "do you still wake to sunsets?"

-

a month later
younghyun
15:32

stretching out my arms, it felt unreal how i'm standing here once again. though i had another apartment that wonpil bought for me the other day, i had to come back to the old one just to pick up some things that i forgot to throw out.

if anything, it's mostly just the clothes.

except i won't be alone taking them out. "yo, i wonder if you still got your weed closet in here." dowoon playfully joked as he trailed behind, and i laugh along.

but, i knew it isn't there anymore. "it's gone, don't worry. you won't smell any reggies." i said.

though i'd rather serve full time of what my actual sentence should've been, but due to wonpil's stubbornness being so strong, he tried to get rid of evidence that proves me of selling drugs. i was still sentenced to jail since i was checked and, well, i basically surrendered myself.

four years was enough for me to reshape myself, and now that i know better than to sell drugs and buy cabinets from shady websites, i decided to start getting rid of things that reminded me of my past since i've already come to embrace it.

there's so many traces of the immature self that i was, scattered all over this apartment. from the empty fridge to the stacked boxes of trash from the drugs i was packing. i hadn't thrown them out due to laziness and such.

moreover, the small heap of clothes that i didn't bother changing as i was so lazy to get out and shop for new stuff. i mean, come on, i was a drug dealer just so i could feed myself and my parents. i couldn't really lavish as the only thing that sold was weed, and that alone helped me pay my bills.

we've been packing up since we stepped in, just laughing at some things i used to own. i didn't really leave a lot, i even asked wonpil to get rid most of the things, but he just took the food.

"i still wonder why you had a stock of pancake mix and stuff that relates to it." dowoon mentioned as soon as i thought of it. the countertops were only stacked with such, and the fridge was just a bunch of eggs and almond milk.

"it was all we ate at home." i responded with a sigh, it's not even something to be proud of. which left me thinking, how did we even survive on pancakes? all we ate was that at home, and we barely ordered shit.

i do remember that he did like takeout, except i didn't, so i barely ordered it. i was such an asshole.

dowoon had a look of confusion as he turned to me, "just.. pancakes? how were you not tired of it?" he asked.

"he was fine with it, so was i. we ate a lot outside anyways." giving an exasperated sigh, both to myself and how much my back is straining from picking up things.

he just stared, before he goes to continue packing. "weird." the short answers was so dowoon of him.

though it's been a while since i've done it, the urge to smoke is so strong. it's weird, i barely stain my lungs, but whenever i do, it's when i need a break or something like that. it used to be weed that sets me back, but i've gotten rid of the entire closet and there wasn't much to relieve the withdrawal during my time at prison.

so..

i had to settle with candies.

standing up from where i sat, i grabbed the coat hanging on the rack. "gotta buy stuff from the store, you want candies?" i ask as i wore my coat again, walking towards the entrance.

"nah, i need two g's." he teased.

it's undeniable that dowoon's everything a person wants to be; mysterious, smart, has way too many friends. basically, a perfect slate. yet, regardless of all his good traits, he still manages to make himself punchable.

i couldn't argue, i kinda walked right into it. "whatever, go get your weed somewhere else." i wave off, fixing my hair as i headed out.

the scent of the hallway hits me with nostalgia again, though they added more lights to it which killed the calm vibe it used to have. it's still somewhat calming in its own way, but it's just awfully bright.

not that it's a big problem for me, i'm never coming back here anyways.

hitting the button for the lift, i didn't expect for the doors to slide open by the instant. as it opens, i see a figure of a girl with a slightly annoyed expression, hiding away under her scarf. ignoring it, i step into the lift.

as the door shuts, my hands were already in my pockets while i rested my shoulders on the wall. it sounds weird and sappy, but damn, i missed this lift. i don't even have any significant memories of it.

still, the ride down is nostalgic.

the silence in the air was cut when the girl spoke, "you're the weed dude."

at first, i didn't pay any attention to it. i assumed she was on the phone or something, but the way i could feel her stare tells me that she's definitely talking about me. it also hit me that she was talking about weed.

turning my gaze to her with a bewildered expression, she seems pretty shocked herself. then, i realized, it's the kid that knew what weed smelled like.

"oh, it's you." i gulped, she still lives here? i thought, and i knew i had to run away. i don't wanna talk about drugs and stuff to a kid right now, and more importantly, the urge to eat candy had grown stronger.

the elevator had already reached the ground floor and there wasn't any chance for me to be shocked as there were already a crowd waiting to get on the lift.

it's a perfect chance for me to run.

i ushered my way out, but it was too late. the kid already has her hand on my wrist as she pulls me away from the crowd, and out to the entrance door.

"yes, i knew it, you'd be out around this month." she says with a relieved tone, a proud smirk on her face though i have no idea what she's triumphant about.

feeling awkward, i could only scratch the back of my head. she's still staring at me and i felt more awkward just by standing here. i can't believe a kid could be this intimidating.

she leans over, the strands of her blonde hair were cascading down her scarf. "do you still remember me?" she asks.

"i wouldn't be so shocked if i didn't," i responded, but i realize that i forgot her name. no, wait, she didn't even mention it.

or did she?

shit, i forgot.

i knew i had a weird look on my face already, since i'm trying to dig through my memories but i just can't remember her name at all. damn.

"before you say anything, yes, i'm sooyoung's niece. and the name's yerim." she blabbered on, and i felt my soul leave my body. fuck, she's sooyoung's niece. as much as i want to get rid of my past, it feels like it's catching up to me, or worse, it's already ahead of me and i haven't realized.

i let out an exasperated sigh just to feel myself in my own skin. "this sucks." i mumbled.

even though i haven't directly gave her a response yet, she immediately speaks with enthusiasm, "i know a good idea! let's do some catching up, i've got a lot of stories to tell you." she gave a cheeky grin.

"we weren't even that close, why would you tell me your stories?" i grumbled, turning around as i started to walk away. i just want to pop a candy in my mouth, damn. pineapple pops sounds tasty, too.

i hear her trailing up behind me, "because, i'm sure you'd want to hear them." she says, mischief lacing in her voice.

"no, i don't."

she seemed annoyed already, "what do you mean you don't?!" oh yeah, she's definitely pissed. "you do. my stories are the best, everyone knows it." she bursted, and i almost thought she was just an immature adult but then i remember she's just in high school or some shit.

"i don't care what people think about you." regardless, i rolled my eyes as i was completely uninterested. "if it's about candies, i'll sit my ass down and listen." i replied, still walking away.

she raised a brow with a mocking pout on her face, "what, are you a kid?" she taunted, but i ignored her and continued to walk, picking up the speed in hopes to tire her out.

and, after a few minutes, it worked. "wait, fine, i'll tell you. it's about jae." she panted.

i stopped as soon as i heard his name, turning around slowly to see her sly smirk. shit, i fell for it, but who wouldn't? "now i got your attention, let's do some catch up." she pulled my wrist for the second time today.

i guess i have to, my curiousity is already eating me alive.

-

the day of the festival
younghyun
20:07

i stood by a food stall as i was instructed to, and i could feel my irritated look on my face. i wouldn't have stood my ass up for this, but somehow the three insisted on joining in, and me, of course, i just can't miss out.

who knows, what if one of them does something embarrassing and i don't get to see it?

other than that, it was a surprise to me that both yerim and wonpil were acquainted with each other. no wonder why she knew the day i got out of jail.

i sigh irritatedly, thank god i didn't wear anything stupid, but it's crowded and a bit warmer on this side of the food stall they agreed we'd meet up on. regardless of me being the less excited one, they were all incredibly late. they were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago, but where the fuck are they? this sucks ass.

the whole idea of going to a festival after my release from jail was all yerim's idea, and when i thought about it, i realized that she has ties with wonpil because of sooyoung.

damn, the old me would've spent days hitting his head on the wall, but i just sucked it up and accepted the fact that i can't run away from my past. it's too late, it's right in front of me already and i am just too lazy to do anything about it.

though i'm not entirely against the plan, i just can't help but wonder why they agreed on hanging out at the festival. i would assume they would be fine on eating out, but as soon as i proposed the offer, they furiously refused and i didn't bother finding out why.

still, it's quite fishy. damn, they're gonna plan something lame, aren't they? i grimaced, the thought of those idiots pulling something cringey makes me feel weird all over.

"hyun!" yerim's voice was so loud, i almost thought she was holding a speakerphone. it's surprising she got along well with wonpil. i turn to the sound of the noise, and i see sooyoung with a smirk itching on her face.

while yerim rushed her way excitedly towards me, sooyoung seemed like she's plotting something with that evil look she naturally has. even after seeing her face in every errand i used to make, her face is remarkably scary that i just can't get used to it.

yerim tugs at my sleeve, "it's good you decided to come." her word choice sounds suspicious, her enthusiastic tone made up for it. "the plan would be ruined if you didn't."

"yeah, no shit. this whole plan is made because of me and i don't wanna be an asshole." i say as i could feel my eye twitch in annoyance, but i fixed the look on my face as soon as sooyoung started shooting glares at me.

she comes closer, and threw a punch at my shoulder. "you didn't bother contacting me, you suck." she says with an angry pout on her face.

i sighed. of course she'd be mad at me, it was probably because i deemed it wasn't important striking a conversation with her, which caused me to forget she existed altogether. does it even matter if i did message her?

still, i'm kinda at fault here. "my bad, i had a lot of things to do." i said, but she doesn't seem convinced, i continued to speak anyways. "i forgot to ask yerim, too."

"just say you completely forgot about me." sooyoung crosses her arms, and i just smiled because it's true, i did forget. "it doesn't affect me that much, don't sweat it." the frown on her face quickly turned into a bright smile as she patted my shoulder playfully.

i can't tell if she's mad or not. "of course it doesn't, you have a lot of friends." yerim butts in before i could get to say it myself, but i hummed in agreement instead.

sadly, it only stroke her ego. "yeah, i'm quite popular." she flips her hair with a smug.

"weird." i mumble.

"what's weird?"

i snicker, "you say you're popular but your follow count on instagram is still the same from four years ago."

yerim gasps softly as we both watched the smug on sooyoung's face disappearing by the second, and slowly, she lifts her foot up to reach her sandal with ease. "you better fuckin' run now."

"a-alright, chill out, i'm sorry." my hands were up as i backed away slowly, but sooyoung's glare was so intense, i had to tug at yerim's dress. "fuck, help me out." i whispered.

"hey guys!" dowoon's deep voice boomed across the crowd, catching our attention we see the couple and sungjin together. i sigh in relief, thank god. they appeared at the right time.

sooyoung fixes her composure, sliding her sandal back into her foot. "i'll let you off the hook." she glares at me.

"what took you guys so long?" yerim asks.

ironic. i wanted to say, but i knew i'd get my soul ripped out from my body, so i kept my mouth shut. "there was some traffic, but we pulled through thanks to sungjin." wonpil explains, but i could see the exhaustion coming out from sungjin.

i was concerned, and then i remembered. the couple was definitely stressing sungjin out the entire ride. "don't even think about it." he pats my shoulder, but i felt his hand quivering as his face turns glum.

damn, he's seen some things.

"we got caught in traffic too," sooyoung spoke, "there was a lotta people walking by, i just bumped them." she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders while the three looked like their blood rushed low.

yerim adds on, with a bright smile, "we apologized afterwards."

"jesus fuck." i muttered, these two are fucking psycho.

dowoon scoots close to me, "i got some candies for you," he hands me a handful of wrapped candies, and it all felt warm. "they're all caramel, just how you like 'em."

"i like them when they aren't melted."

"give me some!" yerim extends her palm out. if i were being honest, i wouldn't give any to the kid, but the candies felt like its melted and that's the only type of candies i don't eat.

i take her hand and dropped all the candies onto her palm, "you can have it, i'm not feeling it anyway." i said and i see dowoon's look of disbelief at the corner of my eye.

"alright, what should we do first?" wonpil starts pulling out a map from his pocket, unfolding the pages as he reads through. "the fireworks start at twelve."

"twelve? it's not even new years," i commented.

"who gives a shit, at least you get to see it." sooyoung retorts, "you haven't seen the fireworks in four years, right?"

it's true, but i never really paid any attention to fireworks anyways, and it hasn't just been four years, probably even more. "well, it might be my first time in god knows how long." i responded, and she seemed confused as i am.

seriously though, when was the last time i've seen it? was it that summer festival in high school? i'm not too sure.

while they were reading the map with wonpil, i continue to wonder about the fireworks issue i have with myself. damn, was i really a hermit?

"oh, they've got some rides going on. let's check it out." sungjin suggested, and dowoon agrees almost too quickly. "i mean, it's gonna be long until jae-"

i doubt anyone heard what he tried to say, since yerim's hand were as quick as lightning. "there was a mosquito." her usual enthusiastic voice fell, while sungjin shuts his eyes and nodded slowly with her hand still on his mouth.

it was silent, they seem to be struck by shock or something but they were oddly giving each other looks. i couldn't sympathize, it was almost like they were avoiding my eyes. "what's up with you guys?" i asked as my brows furrowed.

however, sooyoung's voice took ovee my question. "let's check out the rides then!" she beamed as she walked ahead.

"ayo, wait up, we should check this first." dowoon followed and so did the rest.

they're acting weird. i thought, but i shrugged it off before trailing behind.

-

23:46

as i thought, they wouldn't leave until they see the fireworks. we spent the entire time just roaming around the area, playing carnival games and riding.. well, of course, the rides. it was odd how time passed quickly since all felt so short.

it might be of sooyoung posing for a picture every time, and the others were taking their pictures as well. though i would do the same, it wasn't my forte so i didn't bother.

now, we're just waiting on the fireworks. the area was already crowded when we were looking for a place to sit, but the amount increased in just a few minutes. i guess there is a lot of people hyped up for this festival.

well, there's a concert going on as well. i haven't paid any attention to the music, but the majority of the crowd seems to be big fans of the band.

"geez, when is he gonna perform?" yerim groans, leaning on the table we sat on. "i'm getting sleepy.." she says as dowoon offered his shoulder to which she quickly leans on.

"i guess now? i don't know, weren't you the ones talking or something?" wonpil responds. i couldn't put an input into the conversation or anything, since i have no idea what they're talking about. the rides had taken my energy as well, so i can't be assed to ask.

"he said before the bombs start." it was sungjin's turn to join.

i could feel something tingling and it's trying to escape my pants. shit, it's my bladder. i need to piss. "hey, i gotta go to the bathroom." i stood up from the table as their eyes quickly followed me.

"isn't the bathroom a bit far? you won't see the entire fireworks show." sooyoung had a concerned look that she shared with everyone else, but i couldn't care, my piss is coming out and i am not going to stop it just for a bunch of fireworks.

"yeah, but i don't think i'll be able to hold it until then." i responded, "don't mind me, i'd probably see it from the bathroom anyway."

it was my first time seeing dowoon stammering, "w-wait, dude, you're gonna miss out. i think they're putting different shapes and shit." he says, but at this point, i can't be bothered to hear their bullshit about the fireworks as my pee is about to fucking burst.

"how about this, just record the thing and i'll watch it later." i was already pulling my leg out from the seat, but they seem persistent about keeping me from taking a piss.

wonpil then stood as my other leg finally came out, "no, well, we just want this to be special since we haven't seen you in so long."

"right, you could pee on the tree right here." sooyoung pointed on the plant decor behind her, and i groaned. "just please, sit your ass down for a few." at this point, they sound like they're begging for me to stay.

but fuck, i really need to pee. "i don't understand, it's just fireworks?" i said, and whatever they plan to do, i'll just apologize for being an asshole but i just have to let this trickle out.

"that.. that's not it!" yerim exclaimed, but i was already walking away.

going past the crowd, it was only now that i realized we were sitting close to the stage. there wasn't even a proper view of the fireworks around here, so why do they want me to see the fireworks so bad? it's not like it's the last time they'll shoot that shit in the air, and it's most likely going to happen a few more times this year. i could just see it some other time.

i could feel my wrist drag behind me, and i see a desperate yerim panting. "wait, please, it's not just the fireworks." she heaves out, and at this point, i'm getting pissed. i don't want to burst in anger in front of her, especially since she's just a teen, but this is bullshit. i need to pee and i can't do that just for something trivial.

"i don't know why you want me to stay so bad, but i just have to pee, holy shit." i argued, but i choke up as soon as i see tears forming up in the corners of her eyes.

oh shit, was it really that serious?

i start to panic, there was a bunch of people surrounding us and i can't have her cry or i'll seem like a bully. she doesn't try to argue either, but she let her head hang low as she cries silently. "i.. i'm sorry. i don't understand why i have to see the fireworks." i explained, but it seemed to make things worse than it already is.

she gave me an angry look, "it's not the fireworks, damn it!" she bawls.

rather than feeling guilty for making her cry, i felt my blood boiling. "holy shit, then what is it that you're stopping me from peeing?!" if i could, i would be crying out of frustration but i don't want to lose my calm in front of other people and yerim.

"i can't tell you!" she argues.

"then just let me pee!"

do you still wake to sunsets?

"he's starting, he's starting!"

eat home alone?

"what the fuck are you on ab-"

we almost got into a bicker until the voice of the person singing on the stage cuts through the crowd's noise, and even myself. "watching the moon rise asking on and on,"

it wasn't of me to be mesmerized over someone singing, but why am i so captivated by their voice?

i look up to the stage, and everything else blurs around me when i saw the singer. it was like seeing a star shining through the brightest lights, and everything feels so tranquil just by the sound of his voice.

and then, oh, it just struck me.

the person on the stage, it's jaehyung.

"i'm worried your tears still wake you up at night." his voice continues to flow through, and though it was rowdy with the amount of people around me, all i could hear was him.

it's just him now, i can't even feel myself.

it's really him.

"and you know why,"

he's.. singing.

"but you don't know why, at the same time."

he looks so different now.

his voice is incredibly soft, but empowering enough to leave me standing still like a rock. i can't believe it, no, it's not that i can't believe it..

it's him, of course he could do it.

"who holds you on your 50 proof high?" though he's singing, he has a soft smile on his face and he does it so carelessly, it's amazing.

"been worried all night, wondering all night.."

so, this is what you meant, huh.

"who loves you now?"

he looks up from the ground, and my breath hitches. "who wipes the problems? leaves turned autumn.."

i know i'm bullshitting myself, but i felt that we just shared a look with each other. it's impossible, but..

"when they won't stop falling,"

he's smiling.

"from your eyes,"

his smile, so genuine, so warm.

"and from your sighs,"

i still remember the last time i've seen it.

"who loves you now?"

before i knew it, i had a stupid smile on my face. i didn't feel like crying either, though i thought i would if i ever saw him, but all i felt was nothing but happiness.

without a thought, i mumble, "i'm glad you're doing well."

it was everything i wanted to see.

-

OMG..

OMG OMG OMG OMG ??

ITS OVERR!!!!@!!!@&#@*@(#*

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING

shoutout to jesse and gemi for this

and also rui

yep. thanks for 4k and i love you all . it was a long ride after all