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IRL!

(Friday, September 2nd, 2022)

Morning Before SmackDown

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My cheek sears in pain, knocking the taste out of my mouth as she grips my chin harshly, the potent smell of her breath burning my nose.

"Where is it, huh?!" She screams in my face. "Where the hell is it?!"

"I don't know!" I shout back and her nails dig into my jawline.

"Don't play dumb with me girl."

Keep your face emotionless, I remind myself.

"I swear to God, I don't." My voice raises, cracking at the last word. Shit. The back of my teeth grinds together as her jagged nails sink further into the side of my face. I will not let her win, she will not gain a reaction out of me.

"We'll see you, you little bitch." She bites out, shoving me back by my face. As I push the hair out of my eyes... I feel it, and bile immediately threatens to rise up my throat. But I take it. I chomp down on the soft flesh of the inside of my cheek, and take it. Staring her directly in the eyes as the vile woman in front of me harms her daughter, pressing the end of her cigarette forcefully again my chest... and not a single trace of remorse to be found in her eyes.

I choke on a gasp, hyperventilating on short breathes that aren't fully reaching my lungs. My hands fly to my chest, scraping against the skin that feels like I've been pricked with tiny bee stings. I hear a voice trying desperately to reach my ears over the roaring sound and it finally dawns on me it's coming from my phone lit up beside my pillow.

"Crimson? Carmesi, what's wrong?"

Damian.

When my breathing finally smoothes out and my eyes adjust to the room, my heart rate relaxes a bit more. I'm in the hotel room. My hotel room. Safe.

"Crimson, can you hear me?" Damian's voice drowns in concern and it finally catches up to me. We facetimed last night until I fell asleep... unfortunately. I've been fighting sleep all week, doing anything and everything to stay awake. The nightmares have subsided lately to nothing but the average taunting... which means I knew I'd be in for the horror soon. The jet-lag of traveling to Wales caught up with me, and they won.

"You didn't hang up?" I swallow, picking up my phone.

Damian's eyes quickly scan the screen before he lets out a soft chuckle. "I fell asleep first, and I believe you said you'd take screenshots and draw on them to send to Rhea."

"Righttt." I nod slowly, the corners of my lips tugging up, though the dreadful memory from moments ago bites the back of my mind.

"Are you okay?"

I snap back to reality, and wave him off. "Of course." Fuck. I hate FaceTiming late at night. The only other time this has ever happened was once when Rhea and I fell asleep doing on the call and she woke up to screaming through the phone.

"CK." He says sternly, obviously not buying it at all.

The stench coils its way through my nostrils, making my stomach clench. God, I hate being able to remember every sound, every smell... burned into my memory forever. What could be a really cool party tricked twisted into haunting my mind.

"DP." I angle my gaze into the camera before taking a peak at the time. Seven am. Far too early for him to be awake. I know he'll argue we should've shared a hotel room, but Denni and I arrived here in Wales yesterday before him, Rhea, and Fergal did.

Denni had to stay up late to catch up on some work so she offered to sleep in the living room last night... which I knew bite me in the ass.

"I just need coffee and a good run on the treadmill, and I'll be fine." I sweep it under the rug. I can't dwell on them long. My throat closes, making it hard to swallow, and if I don't move on quickly the nightmares will drag me to the dark corners of hell. My ears grow hot while simultaneously beginning to ring.

"Why don't we get coffee together?" He suggests. I tilt my head at him. "I won't bring it up anymore, I promise." He swears. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

I sigh, always feeling like an asshole for wanting to dismiss him immediately, or Uncle Jack, or, but I'd rather be chained to a ring post than have to talk about it. The skin of my palms breaks and I suddenly realize my nails have been digging into my hands. I flex my fingers out, feeling the whiplash of my face being shoved back. The nail indents on my face. My arms. My wrist.

"I'll shower first, then text you." I say quickly before ending the call.

I need to rinse off the weak, pathetic feeling that's choking me and wash the sticky night-sweat off my body. I collapse back onto the bed, pulling softly on the roots of my hair. I'll feel better tonight. Everything melts away when it comes to wrestling. I will sign the contract tonight, and get to beat Ronda's ass tomorrow. If I could never sleep again I would, it being the one match I cannot seem to win, but none of it matters when I'm training, working out, or in the ring.

The bathroom door clicks open and I stretch my protesting limbs before coming out to find Denni hunched over, twisting a towel on her head.

Her eyes widen when she flips her head back up. "Sorry, did my singing wake or bother you?" She asks sheepishly. I snort a laugh.

"No, you're good." I'll pretend I didn't hear her belting out 22 while just warranting off a meltdown... "I was awake."

"You wanna get muffins or breakfast sandwiches in a bit, I'm starving."

I'm not sure if I can stomach the thought of food right now, but I can absolutely be convinced. "Damian mentioned coffee on the phone too."

"Even better." Denni grins. "Were you okay last night?"

I lick my lips. Chapped. Cracking. Dry. Nothing red lipstick can't fix. "Damian and I facetimed until I fell asleep." I admit, heaving a sigh.

Denni nods softly. "You don't have to..." Denni's experienced firsthand more than anyone has. She never pries, never pushes, and she's gotta be the nosiest person I know. But she knows more than she should, or I'm sure wants to, that's enough.

"I know."

"I drew pictures in the steam on the mirror, if you hurry you can probably still read them." She jabs her thumb behind her, knowing how to perfectly slide into a different topic of conversation easily.

"Guess I'll be on my way then." I hold in my laughter knowing she's so serious. She does it every time we've ever shared a bathroom, and few things seem to amuse more.

My spine greets the wooden surface of the bathroom door I collapse into once it's shut. I sharply breathe in and out, letting the warm steam clear my mind and nose.

I need to get my shit together before tonight...

And I will.

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Hey, heyyy!! Happy Monjey Night Mamiii & welcome back to Crim Ust!!

MOTHER HAS RETURNEDDD!!! And nobody is more excited than Crimson will beee, OMFGGGG her MENTORRR?!?!?!! (whatt who said that?!) "your fav wrestler's fav wrestler..." IKTRRRR!!! AHHHH!!! (not to mention Uso's are also reunitinggg!! what year is it again?!) JUST HAD TO SAY THAT ABOUT AJ BC I AM STILL NOT OVER IT & CRIMSON IS GONNA FREAKKKK!!!

Anywaysss... we haven't had a nightmare related chapter in a HOT minute... but trust they are not gone!! And I've actually had that scene/part written on a sticky note planned since like the spring lmao, I've been WAITINGGG for the right moment, & this finally felt like a time where nothing else has already been starting/going on sooo.... oof!!! But more of Crimson's trauma will be unfolded as the book continues... </3 (y'all are nottt readyyy...) And Damian & Denni are the BESTEST friends everrr istggg <333

Alsooo... should've looked it up sooner lmao but the SmackDown that's about to happen was actually filmed after the previous week's SD... oopsss lol, we're just gonna pretend they had SmackDown in Wales before Clash of the Castleee... everyone cool with thattt haha.

Thank y'all SOOO much for all the love & supporttt, & pls don't forget to comment your thoughts, questions, & reactionsss!! Anddd untilll next timeee... which will be the SD before Clash of the Castle, where Crimson & Ronda will sign their contracttt... what could possibly go wrong... hehehe ;)