Tenten arrived at the market, holding a basket, feeling very wifely in her getup. She soon spotted her first shopping item.

"Excuse me, I would like to buy fish," she told the vendor.

"How many?"

"Err.." She smiled helplessly. "I don't really know. As long as it's enough for…ah…my husband."

The vendor's eyes suddenly lit up. "How big… is that husband of yours, huh, dear?"

Tenten imagined Neji's finger, then grinned. "XL, I think," she smirked.

"Oh, you should get milkfish then," suggested the fish vendor. "Then stuff it with lots of onions so he would be lively. That's what my husband and I did, and now, when the whole family goes shopping together, we look like a community instead."

"Really?" Her eyes widened. "How old are you, by the way, Ma'am?"

"87," said the old woman proudly.

"You certainly don't look like it," said Tenten, impressed. "Looks like you and your husband had betrayed your menopausal period!"

"That's why I always change husbands; they could never keep up with me."

Tenten whistled. "When I grow up I want to be just like you, Ma'am, a real fighter!"

The selling woman waved her finger proudly. "Eat balot and penoy(3) every morning and evening. It'll strengthen your knees, giving you the power I now hold."

The younger female jotted that down. "Okaaay… balot…" She grinned wickedly. "Looks like Neji has a new dish! Hehe!"

….

After buying another ingredient, Tenten went home and started her cooking.

She looked at the milkfish swimming happily in the basin. "Poor fishie… you look so happy, so at peace. And here I stand before you with a merciless intent of ending your blissful existence. Shit, Neji, how could you make me do something so cruel as this?"

She got a knife and then stared sadly at the fish. "Sorry, fishie, but if I fail again in making this meal Neji-approved, I may be driven away from my new home sweet home. And I can't afford to let that happen!" she cried as she presented her arguments before the swimming creature. "I've already fallen in love with this house, never mind if its attic is in the basement!

"Besides, I think I've developed a crush on the master of this house." She wrinkled her nose. "Even though he is grouchier than my father when my mother ran away with a man he used to date too."

Thus, with a heavy heart, she proceeded to stab the slippery creature. A second passed, and squirts of blood splashed everywhere.

"Son of a giant, MY HAND!" With that, Tenten blacked out.

….