Patton stood in front of Logan's door and rang the bell, feeling slightly nervous to see his boyfriend's parents again. Not that they were intimidating people, but he just really wanted them to like him. Logan told him on multiple occasions that he didn't have to worry,but he couldn't help it. He was just happy they had invited him to their small Christmas Eve Eve party, or the night before Christmas Eve party, which he'd never heard of before, but he was just glad he kind of got to spend a bit of the holiday with his boyfriend.

The door opened revealing Logan's mother who gave him a friendly smile. "Ah Patton, glad you could make it." She allowed him to come in. "Logan is up in his room, you can go ahead and find him."

"Okay, thank you for letting me come." Patton smiled back at her.

"Of course, Logan doesn't have many friends, so anyone who's close to him is as good as family to us." She explained.

Patton felt a surge of happiness at her words, and couldn't help but let his smile expand a bit. "I'm glad to hear that, I'll go find Logan now."

She flashed him another smile before going back into the kitchen where Patton could see Logan's father talking to another man and woman. He then quickly walked up the slightly cramped set of stairs into a dimly lit hallway. There was light coming from one of the rooms, so Patton walked towards it seeing Logan through the partially opened door, cleaning up. He knocked on the frame before slowly walking in.

Logan quickly looked in his direction, seeming to get slightly startled, and quickly closing the chest at the end of his bed, that he was putting things in, almost shutting it on his fingers.

"Oh my God are you okay?" Patton asked, quickly moving over to him.

"Yes I'm quite alright." He replied adjusting his glasses. "You are a bit early, and startled me."

"I guess I am..." Patton trailed off. "Sorry."

"You have no need to apologize." Logan smiled, standing up and walking over to him. He paused for a moment before wrapping his arms around the shorter.

Patton smiled, returning the embrace, and holding on for a little bit longer. It had only been a few days since winter break started, but Patton hadn't seen Logan at all, and it made it feel like much longer.

Logan eventually pulled away and moved over to close the door as loud Christmas music started playing downstairs followed by a choir of off-key voices singing along. "Sorry my dad gets a bit too into things, especially with my aunt and uncle around.

Patton chuckled. "That's okay. I think it's cute how your family is so close." he then looked down to the item in his hand wrapped in red and green paper, as if just remembering it was there. "Oh, um, I bought you a present." He held it toward him.

"You did not have to do that." Logan told him walking back over to him.

"No it's okay, it's Christmas after all." Patton handed it to him.

Logan smiled. "Thank you." He sat down on the edge of his bed, Patton joining him. He then somewhat careful unwrapped the paper to reveal a book.

"I always see you reading this series, It's the newest one, I hope you don't have it." Patton explained.

"No, I do not, but it sold out almost immediately and they haven't had the second publication yet, how did you get it?" The nerd asked, perking up.

"I have my ways." Patton stated confidently. "It doesn't matter as long as you like it."

"I love it." Logan replied.

Patton then pouted slightly. "More than me?"

Logan let out a slight laugh at his playfulness. He then wrapped an arm around him, pressing their lips together for a moment. "Never."

Patton flashed him a satisfied smile before giving him another peck on the lips. "Good." He then turned his body towards him, wrapping his arms and legs around the other male and nuzzling his head under his chin.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked, returning his embrace anyway.

"I want to cuddle..." Patton replied. "It's a cold night, don't you want to?"

Logan laughed at him. "I do."

-&-

Patton and Logan were still on his bed next to each other, but had moved up to sit back against the headboard of the bed, and Logan was flipping through an old photo album his mother had given him a while ago, that Patton had asked about. Said boy was leaning on his should looking over him at the pictures, and giggling at a few of the ones when he was younger. His arm was wrapped around his boyfriend's securely.

"Ah yes, and that is when my Uncle Lenny forced me to where a zebra uniform for a costume party when I was 10. I was not very happy about it, but we couldn't find a costume I liked in time." Logan explained.

Patton chuckled. "You were so serious even back then." He watched as Logan flipped the page. "Who's that?" He asked pointing to a young girl.

"Ah that's my neighbor, she was my first friend I guess, before I met Virgil, and... well you know who. We've know each other since we were little kids, but go to different schools, so don't get to talk much anymore."

Just then the bedroom door swung open and Roman walked in. "Alright the party's finally here, better stop fucking you two!"

Patton, startled a bit and sat up, but Logan remained unbothered, seeming slightly unamused.

Virgil soon walked in after him rolling his eyes. "Don't be so crude when his family is literally downstairs idiot."

"You invited Roman?" Patton asked.

"No I invited Virgil, but I wasn't about to tell him he couldn't bring his boyfriend." Logan responded.

"Boyfriend?" Patton looked at Roman suddenly, almost looking betrayed.

"He didn't tell you?" Logan asked. "Virgil let me know like a few days before break."

"You said you didn't want people to know about us yet." Roman turned to Virgil.

"Yeah well... Patton and Logan don't count. They're our best friends, I don't expect you to keep it a secret from everyone." Virgil admitted.

"Oh good, because you know, I really wanna show you off to people so they can be jealous of how cute of a boyfriend I have." Roman winked at him flirtatiously.

A light blush dusted Virgil's cheeks as he looked away from him.

"Could you two be anymore...hm... whats the word? Cheesy." Logan asked them.

"Hey now you know how I felt watching you and Patton all the time." Virgil shot back.

"Yeah yeah we're all in love, now let's eat!" Roman exclaimed, placing the snacks he brought on the bedside table. He then jumped onto the bed with the two of them, pulling Virgil down with him, the boy going down with much protest.

-&-

Logan walked Patton out after everyone had left. "You sure you don't need me to take you home?"

"No, Jaxon said he'll be here on a few minutes." Patton smiled at him.

"Logie!" A voice suddenly sounded to their side and they looked over to see a young girl making her way across the snow covered front yard.

Patton recognized her as the girl in the photo earlier, she was older and developed, but it was defiantly the same girl.

"Hello Sydney." Logan greeted her with a smile.

"Sorry I couldn't actually make it tonight, but I think my parents will let me come over for dinner tomorrow, if that's okay." She stated.

"Of course, you know my parents practically see you as their own daughter." Logan replied.

Something about the statement irked Patton and he didn't quite know why, still he remained calm.

"Just in case I can't, I wanted to give you your present now." She handed him an envelope.

"Thank you Sid." Logan replied opening it and pulling the card out. Inside was a brown bookmark. "A leather bookmark, thank you, I've been meaning to get one, my paper ones always tear."

"Yeah I got your name pressed into it too, for fun." She smiled brightly.

Patton found himself growing more annoyed. He didn't like Logan using a nickname for her, or smiling the way he was, or the fact she got him such a nice gift, and that she seemed to be so kind and sweet...and pretty.

"Oh, right." Logan turned to him again. "This is Patton."

She looked as if just noticing him there. "Oh, hi, it's nice to meet you." She chimed in a sweet voice.

Patton smiled too despite not actually wanting to. "Nice to meet you too."

Logan watched as a car pulled into the driveway. "It appears your older brother has arrived, I'll see you after the holidays Patton."

Patton smiled at him and nodded. He didn't like how Logan didn't introduce him as his boyfriend, but he didn't want to possibly ruin the night by bringing it up. He turned, starting toward the car.

"I'd better go too." Sydney stated, going back toward her house.

"Be careful, the garden's slippery." Logan warned.

"I will!" She called back.

Patton got in his brothers car feeling the warmth wash over him as he closed the door.

"Did you have fun?" Jaxon asked.

"Yeah... it was fun." Patton stated simply. He didn't like that Logan didn't kiss him goodbye. He didn't like that he seemed so worried about her. He didn't like it, and he didn't know why.

-&-

Jaxon got home from Christmas shopping and picking Patton up from Logan's and opened the door with a bit of difficulty as he held many bags in his hands. "I'm home!" He called kicking the door shut with his foot behind him. He placed the bags on the floor, realizing he got no response. "Ashton?"

He noticed the bathroom door open and peeked in but when he didn't find his new roommate there, so he walked into the bedroom. The bed was made and no one was there. He felt a slight amount of worry, but then reasoned with himself. Calm down, he did say he may go out for a bit this afternoon. He looked at the clock. It's already past 11... He shook his head. It's okay he'll be back soon. Still he pulled out his phone, shooting him a quick text, before starting to unbag and wrap the presents he bought.

-&-

Jaxon paced back and forth in front of his bedroom door, with his phone to his ear listening as it rang and then once again got nothing but voicemail. "Dammit Ashton, where the hell are you?? You can't pull this shit, please... at least pick up your damn phone... Call me back." He hung up.

It was half past 2 in the morning now, and his slight worry had turned into full-blown anxiety. Sleep was definitely out of the question, and he found himself reaching for his keys to drive around and hopefully find him. Just as he did however he heard someone unlocking the front door. He quickly moved into the living area as the 18-year-old walked through the door.

Jaxon let out an exasperated sigh, moving over to him. "Ashton, what the hell?? do you know how late it is?? Where have you been, you should have answered your phone-" He stopped talking as he had to catch the boy a bit as he stumbled. A strange smell reached his nose and he suddenly found his temper sparked even more. "No fucking way... Are you drunk??"

Ashton suddenly pushed him away, seeming angry himself. "Yeah, so What?? It's none of your damn business." He pushed past him.

Jaxon stopped him, grabbing his wrist. "Not my business??" he raised his voice. "How the hell is this not my business?! You aren't even of age yet! Not to mention all the bad decisions you tend to make! What the hell were you thinking?? It's almost 3 a.m. You can't be out that late, especially without telling me!"

Ashton scoffed. "You can't tell me what to fucking do!!" he slurred his words. "You don't own me, I don't have to tell you where I am, or do what you say!"

"Then at least answer your phone when I call you! The least you could do is tell me when your coming back, or at least tell me you're not dead for fucks sake!" Jaxon couldn't deny that the other's attitude was only angering him more.

"You don't have to meddle with my fucking life okay?? Just lay off!" Ashton started walking toward the bedroom again, ripping his wrist from his grip.

Jaxon quickly moved in front of him. "No! I won't, 'lay off!' If you're living here with me then there are gonna be some rules, and-"

"Then just FUCKING kick me out! THROW ME ON THE STREETS! I don't care! Finally get the fuck out of each others lives!" Ashton screamed at him.

"That is NOT what I meant!" Jaxon yelled back. "I don't want you to leave, I want you to GROW. THE. FUCK. UP!"

Ashton chuckled, swaying a bit, but not at all seeming amused. "Grow up? That's rich... Whatever!" He suddenly shouted. "Fine! Yes, I'm just a stupid kid in your eyes! Right?? You felt bad for me, you pitied me, but I'll always just be some troubled teenager to you!!! Some goddamn charity case and nothing more!"

Jaxon seemed almost disgusted by his words. "Ashton... What the hell are you talking about?? That's ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous??" Ashton shook his head. "No it's not! You don't understand!! YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME!!!"

"Don't give a damn about you?? Don't give a damn about you??? Ashton, why the fuck do you think I stayed up so late waiting for you to come back?? Why do you think I called you half a dozen times?? Do you even KNOW how WORRIED I've been??" Jaxon felt his chest tightened and he almost wanted to cry, but he managed to hold it back. "What the HELL am I supposed to do if you decide to go and do something stupid again, and I'm not there to stop it?? What the FUCK am I supposed to do if you die!?! How could I EVER possibly live with myself?? How am I ever supposed to feel comfortable leaving you alone again if you go out and do shit like THIS?? How could you ever think I don't care about you, or understand??"

"Because YOU DON't!!" Ashton suddenly broke into tears, taking in a sharp breath and falling forward. Jaxon caught him, both of them landing on their knees. "No one understands!!! No one understands how much I miss my mom, how much it hurts to constantly be reminded of her everywhere I go, what we used to do, how we would celebrate....or how I wish my dad could be the same as he used to be!!!" He let out a few sobs. "No one understands how anytime I ever have anything it's ALWAYS. taken. away. Do you know how scary it is, in those moments, to want to die so badly, how terrifying thinking back on that is?? You don't understand how I just want to make it all stop!! How I just want something, SOMETHING, anything... to just make things feel at least a little more numb?" He took some breaths, crying more.

There was a slight pause, until he talked again, his voice returning to a quieter volume.

"And do you know... how it feels... to finally find something...someone, who does make it feel better..? Who takes you to see the stars, and makes you feel like nothing bad ever happened... and how even more terrifying it is to feel like you may someday lose that person... so much so that even the thought of it drives you crazy." His voice started to waver in and out, like he was silently choking back more sobs. "And so you do stupid things, that you instantly regret... because you know now, that you hurt that person... and you never wanted to, so you're scared that maybe, once again, you messed things up..." He shakily breathed in and out. "Do you know how it feels to constantly feel like no one cares..?"

Jaxon took a long deep breath, feeling all his anger completely fade away. He wrapped his arms around the boy, cradling his head slightly, and letting him cry quietly into his chest. He rubbed circles on his back trying to soothe him as he was still shaking slightly. "Ashton..." He spoke quietly, like he was trying not to frighten him. "How could you possibly think no one cares about you..." He paused, hugging him closer. "When I'm always here holding you in my arms..."

Hey guys, I hope you like the new part! These is a bit lengthy of an explanation as to why I haven't updated in a while, like there are many genuine reasons this time, not just homework and lack of motivation, but like I said it is a long story. Let's just say a lot went down so far this year in my life personally and obviously Rona didn't help a damn bit. Anyway right now I'm okay, and I just finished my exams so hopefully I will have more time now, no promises. Anyways! Tell me how you like the new chapter! Fluffy beginning, hmm Patton May be a lil jelly too, and I'm sorry I ended up leaving off with a bit of angst, but you know Ashton is still working a lot of shit out. He'll heal, slowly, at least he has Jaxon to help him. Vote and comment, bye!
~Hannah😋