Trigger warning: mentions of alcoholism and depression
And wow, oof I feel like it's been a while since we have seen my babies, I hope you enjoy!

Jaxon took in the familiar feeling his old school theater brought to him as he weaved his way through the crowd. Nostalgia hit him hard and he felt himself sighing with a content as some of the good memories resurfaced in his mind.

"Jaxon Sanders?" A voice suddenly rang out, causing him to stop in his tracks. "Could it really be?"

He turned to his side to see a woman standing there, dressed in heals and a pantsuit. "Victoria!" He exclaimed happily going to give her a hug.

"It's been too long." She started returning it.

"It sure has Vicky." He chuckled. "I remember when you were chugging Mountain Dew with my friends and I and screaming at the video game screen. Now look at you, Mrs. CEO."

She chuckled warmly. "Oh god no one has called me Vicky in years... And my father owns the company so it's not all that impressive really. What about you? How have you been?"

"Still in college, just trying to get by day-by-day." He shrugged.

"I admire you for working towards what you love." She then checked her watch. "Sorry Jax, I have to go." She pulled out a business card from her purse and handed it to him. "But feel free to keep in touch, I'd love for all us high-school buds to get together again."

"Will do, see you later Vicky." He nodded.

"Goodbye Jax," she replied before disappearing into the crowd.

Jaxon then continued his way to where he was going. He smiled when in the cast line Roman came into view, a group of girls just walking away from him. He watched as he removed his arm away from around his cast member, who he'd learned was Virgil, as the other blushed.

"Roman," he heard Virgil complain quietly. "Why would you do something like that? They could get the wrong idea."

Roman chuckled, "You're too paranoid."

"Roman." Jaxon called out approaching him.

"Jax!" He smiled as he hugged the older male. "Patton told me you were in town! God I feel like it's been forever."

"It really has. So how have you been, still getting into lots of trouble?" He chuckled.

"Always." Roman laughed himself. "Oh Virgil, this is Jaxon, Patton's one and only older brother."

"It's nice to finally meet you." Jax nodded in his direction. "Patton has talked about you."

Virgil seemed surprised by the statement but then shook his head. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Speaking Of Patton, I'm surprised you aren't here with him." Roman pointed out.

"Yeah well I figured I'd let the lovebirds have some time alone." Jaxon stated teasingly, causing the other two to laugh lightly. "Roman, can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Uh sure." Roman replied before stepping back with him alone, where no one could really hear them. "What's up?"

"Do you know a senior who goes here named Ashton?" Jaxon asked bluntly.

Roman seemed surprised by the mention of the name. "Um..." he trailed off somewhat solemnly. "Yeah I do... He was Patton's friend."

"Was?" Jaxon tilted his head in confusion.

"Uh... Yeah... well I really don't know the full story, but something happened, and they kind of had a falling out..." Roman scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Why?" Jaxon asked feeling anxious for his answer.

"Like I said, I don't know the full story, and I wasn't there so I really can't be one to judge, but Patton went to a party with Ashton a week before the dance. Ashton got drunk, Patton followed him and... well Ashton..." Roman let his voice fall to a lower volume. "He tried to take advantage of him."

"He what??" Jaxon snapped.

"But, he stopped before anything really happened." Roman added carefully. "Then Logan took Patton home, and that was the end of it."

Jaxon processed the information. He felt conflicted, and his mind was swirling. He was angry, but also confused, and also somewhat sympathetic... to both his brother and Ashton. Ashton's words as he stood on the bridge echoed in the back of his mind. I've made so many terrible terrible mistakes...I've hurt so many undeserving people... All in all he didn't really know how he felt. He needed to talk to Patton, that would clear things up... hopefully. He then nodded, his voice failing to hide his inner turmoil. "Thanks Roman, Sorry to bother you."

"That's okay." Roman replied softly he placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes seemed to desperately call out to comfort him. "Have a good night Jax."

"You too." Jax replied before walking away and out the doors of the theater. The cold air in the parking lot hit him hard, but he hardly noticed. He got into his car and started it, turning the heat on and letting it run for a while before pulling out his phone. He went into his contacts and stared at the screen, swallowing a lump in his throat. He stared a little longer, and a little longer; the car was growing hot. Finally he clicked the call icon next to Ashton's name.

It rang.
And rang some more.
There was a beep, and it went to voicemail.

Jaxon let out an exasperated sigh ending the call and throwing his phone onto the passengers seat. He hung his head in one hand. He didn't know what he was going to do if he answered. yell at him, demand answers? Asks why the fuck he hadn't answered his phone once in the past however many days. He didn't know if he was more angry at Ashton, or angry at himself for once again feeling that overwhelming pit of worry form in his stomach. Jaxon hit his forehead on the steering wheel a few times. What the hell is wrong with me?

-&-

"Logan!" Patton exclaimed happily grabbing his arm as they were in front of his house after the play. "Don't leave yet, please~" He swing back and forth watching his boyfriend with pleading eyes.

"Patton it's getting late, besides your brother is coming back to spend the evening with you correct?" Logan insisted against his request.

Patton pouted, wrapping his arms around Logan's middle. "That doesn't mean you can't stay."

"I should not impose." Logan responded, pushing him away gently to look him in the eyes.

Patton frowned not liking his answer. "Just for a little bit?"

Logan sighed. "Fine just until your brother returnes."

"Awe But That's only a few minutes." Patton pointed out.

Logan smiled at his boyfriend. "Do not act like such a spoiled child." He used his hand to gently squeeze Patton's side, causing the shorter to erupt into giggles and push him away playfully.

"Logan, you know I'm ticklish!" He scolded lightly.

Logan chuckled slightly. Then his expression changed, seeming a little more conflicted, and his thoughts seemed to go somewhere else.

"What's wrong?" Patton asked curiously, feeling a little worried.

"Nothing of importance." H tried to force a smile.

"Logan." Patton frowned obviously not believing him.

Logan paused. "Have you spoken to Ashton at all recently."

Patton widened his eyes at the name and he spoke quickly. "What? No not really. Why would you ask that?"

"Please don't become agitated, I do not wish to accuse you of anything." He assured him. "It's just... the other day Roman and I found him in quite a troubling situation. He looked very unwell in more ways than one... I suppose I was just curious if you knew what was going on with him."

Patton seemed saddened by the information. "No... I don't."

"I see..." Logan trailed off.

Just then Jaxon's car pulled around them and into the drive.

"It doesn't matter right now anyway." Logan smiled slightly. "I should take my leave." He kissed Patton letting his lips linger for a moment. "Goodnight Patton."

"Goodnight..." Patton stated watching him as he got into his car and drove off.

-&-

Patton sat on the couch waiting for his brother to come back from the kitchen, and couldn't help but think about what Logan told him. He was snapped out of his thoughts when his brother sat down right next to him and handed him a mug of hot chocolate.

"Thank you." He smiled taking the warm cup into his hands.

"Nothing better on a cold night." Jaxon smiled. They both began to drink it. "Patton." He suddenly stated.

"Hm?" Patton inquired licking a bit of light brown froth from his upper lip.

"Have you forgotten to tell me something? Something important?" He asked his brother, seeming uncharacteristically serious.

"Um... no. I don't think so..." Patton replied in confusion.

"Mm..." Jaxon nodded, resting his mug in his lap. "Are you sure? You have nothing to tell me? Nothing about... Ashton?"

Patton nearly choked on his drink. "What??" He Snapped his eyes to his brother's seeming surprised and slightly fearful. "How do you know who he is?"

"I met him." Jaxon replied simply, swirling his finger around the ring of his cup.

"How?" Patton asked.

"Um, just in town." Jaxon replied. He found it best not to mention how he'd actually found him. He didn't want Patton to worry, or worse, blame himself.

"Oh..." was all Patton replied with.

"He reacted strangely when I mentioned you were my brother, he cut me off actually, so I asked Roman... He told me what happened Patton." Jaxon revealed.

Patton nodded. "Sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm fine I swear, he really didn't do much, and Logan was there anyways."

"Luckily." Jaxon looked at him sternly.

"Jax... I said I'm fine." Patton assured him with a smile.

Jaxon nodded, seeming to believe him. "Patton I understand this may be difficult to talk about, but I need to know what you think about Ashton..." Jaxon said carefully. "About What He did to you..."

Patton didn't speak right away but then slowly sat back on the couch. "I don't really know what to think about it..." he admitted. "I don't know because that night it wasn't Ashton... not really. It may have been his body and his face, but it wasn't him. Everything about him was just wrong. His expression, his voice, the way he addressed me... thinking back maybe I should have seen how off he was earlier and just helped him get home safe, he really was very drunk. Of course I don't blame myself for what happened but the thing is... I don't think I can blame Ashton either..." Patton then paused looking at his brother. "Is that... weird?"

Jax smiled feeling a bit of relief wash over him at his brother's explanation. "No Patton... that's not weird at all."

-&-

Ashton woke up on the cold kitchen floor Sunday morning. He tried to move and pain rushed through his entire body, reminding him of his father's beating last night. He slowly got up stumbling over to the cabinet. "I don't fucking care anymore." he stated taking out a bottle of booze, he sunk to the floor again, leaning back against the sink, opened the bottle, and started to drink it. I need a fucking shower... he thought to himself, or at least for something good to happen for once.

His phone in his pocket began to ring, but he ignored it...

-&-

That morning Jaxon was pacing the kitchen, he'd tried to call Ashton again but got no response. "That godamn idiot, why doesn't he pick up his stupid phone."

"Who's an idiot?" Patton asked walking in and pouring himself a glass of juice.

"No one." His brother responded, "I'm just trying to get a hold of someone is all." He walked into the front hallway to be alone and once again hitting the call button." It rang for a long time, he was about to give up again and hang up when there was a click.

There was a short silence before a coarse voice came through. "Hello."

Jaxon's emotions got the better of him as he heard the familiar sound of Ashton's voice. "Hello? oh my god finally! Ashton what the fuck? I've called you about a thousand times, do you know how sick with worry I've been? Where the hell are you?"

"You should stop...please... just stop." Ashton's voice was weak, and he seemed to be crying. "Stop calling. Stop texting. Stop worrying about me. For fucks sake Just stop it all."

"I know what happened with you and my brother, I want to talk, and no I won't stop." Jaxon replied. "I want to talk, really, please I just want to talk to you..."

"Your such an idiot." Ashton replied taking a few rough breaths. "It doesn't matter... it doesn't matter anymore. I won't talk to you, I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm done... I'm just so done with it all. Everything that's happened... when I met Patton I finally thought I had a chance, but I fucked it up again like I fuck everything up. So just stop worrying about a fuck up like me is only going to bring you down with me. I'm done... I'm done fucking things up..."

Jaxon felt the start of panic spark in him, it left a bad taste in his mouth and caused his heart to start beating."Ashton what are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry, I know it's just a word that it isn't good enough, but I'm just so sorry for everything..." Ashton's voice became more desperate. "I'm sorry about Patton, I'm sorry I made you worry, and I'm sorry for-" He was cut off by a sob. "I'm just sorry..."

"Ashton stop it, where are you? What are you doing? Ashton? Ashton?!" It was no use he'd already hung up on the other end. "Fuck!" Jaxon ran into the kitchen, shocking Patton and grabbed his keys. "I have to go somewhere I'll be back."

"Wait what's going on- Jaxon!" Patton called, but his brother was already gone.

-&-

Ashton hung up the phone and let out another sob. He turned the device off and slowly placed it face down on the table next to the empty bottle. He then sucked in a few breaths, allowing his cries to stop. He calmly turned around and headed upstairs and into the bathroom. Once there he covered the bath drain and turned on the warm water, watching it begin to fill the tub. He then stood walking over to the mirror and looked at himself.

He gripped the edge of the sink and turned away, feeling unable to look at himself anymore. "Damnit!"

-&-

Jaxon practically sped down Ashton's street before quickly turning in this drive, parking, and taking the keys out of the ignition. He got out and immediately walked to the front door. He knocked. "Ashton?"

No response.

He tried one more time, "Ashton come on!"

Again no response.

He turned the handle and found it unlocked, he paused for just a moment before opening the door and walking in. He looked around the small messy house, weaving his way through the living room and past the kitchen. "Ashton where are you?" He didn't get a response, but he heard water running upstairs so he decided to go up. "Ashton?" He saw the light coming from a small crack in the bathroom door and began towards it.

When he was close enough the carpet beneath his foot squished, it was soaking wet.

He ran to the door, opening it quickly to see the tiled floor flooded with water, and Ashton laying unconscious on top of it. "Oh my god Ashton!" Jaxon screamed running into the room through the water. He quickly turned off the faucet in the tub before falling to his knees with a splash and taking the boy in his arms. He started to cry and felt his whole being wash over with panic, He then noticed the water around the boy's wrists was stained red as blood flowed from them. Jaxon quickly pulled out his phone dialing 911. "Hello. Yes I need an ambulance." He could barely tell the operator the address through his cries. "The doors unlocked...Please hurry, please, my friend he-" he couldn't finish the sentence as he began sobbing.

Jaxon stayed with him the entire time, even as he heard sirens approaching and the paramedics bursting through the front door.

Hey guys, I'm sorry but I'm leaving it there. Don't hate me please... I really needed this chapter to work on Ashton's downfall, so I hope you don't mind that there was only a bit of logicality. I know that it's really intense right now, like holy shit, but I still would love to hear your opinions and feedback. Vote and comment, bye!
~Hannah😬