And it was during these times, where I would watch the world pass by within the blink of an eye. It was unforgiving, it was merciless. It feared me and intimidated the rock-solid foundation within myself that I had so tirelessly worked to create. It broke me and it shattered all of the emotional security I had left - as little and wavering as it was. The world burned at my fingertips. It had erupted with outrage and justifiably so. I had never felt my empathy pulsate throughout my body so intensely before. In the midst of chaos out there, there was chaos within me. All of my most maliciously woven demons condemning me into nothingness. Sorrowful yet with numbness to accompany an already bleeding heart. I listened to the roaring calls of those in the distance who stood by what it means to embody bravery, liberty and a new rebellion. I saw them become silenced, targeted and hunted. The atrocities brought me to my knees and had me pray with anguish burrowed inside of my chest. It stung my soul and reminded me that humanity is in grave danger of falling in on itself. I caught myself struggling to comprehend this rush of turmoil - frostbitten sadness with an inferno's worth of anger. Everything I have ever learned and everything I have ever felt arose all at once. It pleaded for the peacefulness of mind. I turned to God's direction and asked for the comfort that only God can grant during times of such contention and resentment. God's presence overcame me... With the voices of those who were oppressed, suffering and broken - they harmonized with the voice of God. With the divinity only God can bring. Solace translated within each gentle moment of pause. Its fragments small yet still so reassuring, attempting to dismantle the lonesome nature from what petrifies me. I picture the way water sounds, how it tastes and how it feels. Then turning deep red before my eyes and cascading into the streets. Its smell, potent. Once it is drawn, it deeply haunts those who watch it pool... And not for those who incite the bloodshed to begin with. Callously, egregiously, disturbingly. I realize I am panicking. Nervous and sick to my stomach, recounting and confronting these demons. What I see. What I feel. The harsh blow of reality. Choking at my throat to make sense of all that causes heartbreak in this world.