TWELVE
Reality hits hard.

Harry's symptoms only got worse.

After only a few hours, he had started having trouble breathing and his body temperature was going up.

I called a doctor to come and check on him, but they had never seen an episode as big as this.

Usually, most allergies only happen when around the triggering object, not almost ten, eleven, twelve or even twenty four hours later.

They gave him medicine and more cream though.

But still, it's been a full day now, he was getting worse and I was losing my mind.

Harry's temperature was rising each second and he was sweating but claiming to be cold.
He laid under the covers of my bed, it's edges up until it covered his nose and he was slightly trembling.

"Love?"

"Yeah?" - He said, trying hard to breathe.

"What do you need?"

"A tea? And more medicine please." - He said in between breaths.

"What about your throat? The doctor said not to give you anything hot because it'll be worse for you."

"But I'm cold." - He pouted.

"I'll turn the heat on." - I said, leaning down and pecking his forehead, noticing it was practically burning. - "Can you sit up for me, sweet? You need to be up in order to breathe better."

He let out a few noises of complain and hissed when his back touched the headboard.

"My back hurts."

"Why? What do you feel?"

"I think it spread from my neck."

"The rash?"

"Mhmm." - He mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Okay. I'll bring you the medicine for your throat, the cream for your back and a wet cold cloth for your fever."

"And turn the heat on."

"Yeah. That too."

I sighed and rushed out of the room to find a cloth so I could soak it in cold water.
Then, I struggled to turn the stupid old heater that wasn't even electric and returned to the room with a glass of water too.

Harry was still sitting up against the headboard with his eyes closed. He was panting for air, his throat completely closed and irritated from inside.

I gave him a glass of water and a pill for him to swallow.

Then, I pulled his chin up and let the wet cloth rest on his forehead and I moved to find the cream for his rash in - now - Harry's bedside table.

The thing is, he already claimed part of my apartment as his', and I truly couldn't care less. He said he was more comfortable this way, and I was happy that he could feel that around me.

I moved to sit behind him in replacement of his pillows, both my legs at his sides as I pulled his shirt up in search of the irritated skin that needed treatment.

Harry hissed and cursed at me as he kept the cold cloth pressed to his forehead, but I tried my best to ignore his complaints, knowing the only thing that could actually make it better, was the cream. So I started moving my fingers on his back , spreading the cream as good as I could with Harry wriggling under my touch.

"Sweet, I really need you to stay still."

"Sorry." - He mumbled, still having trouble with his breathing.

I leaned over and pecked the back of his neck softly, avoiding the parts that were itching him.

I continued scattering the cream for a few more minutes and then I could finally feel Harry relaxing under my touch, the cream already doing effect.

"Thanks." - He whispered as I continued making slow traces on his back, adding more cream on the parts that were still too red to my liking.

"You're very welcome. How's your throat now?"

"I think it's slowly getting better."

"Okay, don't force yourself to speak." - I said, moving away and standing up again, checking on his forehead. - "I'll go get this cold again." - I said, removing the cloth from his hand. - "Rest back on the pillows. But stay sat."

He nodded and intended to show me a smile that came a little more as a tired expression.

I pecked his nose and let him rest as I returned to the kitchen, just in time for when my phone rang.

I sighed when I saw the name on the screen.

"Liam, now's not the time."

"I gave you a month and a week, I need an answer now, Louis. I won't wait any longer. You promised."

"Right now, I can't. I swear I'll give you a call as soon as I solve this."

"What is more important than your career?"

"Right now? Harry." - I said, firmly.

"Well, I don't care because I already gave you the time that you asked me for. If you ended up wasting it with your new boyfriend, it isn't my problem. I've been holding your situation as good and far as I could, Louis. But I need an answer before they all withdraw their offers."

"Fine! Just… just renew my contract with United, I can't think about this today, I'm in the middle of something."

"Renew with them? Okay. You won't back down in a few days, right? We need to do this soon."

"Yes, yes. It's fine. I'll stay with them until I retire. That was always the plan. I'll stick to that."

"Good. I'll send you the contract tomorrow by plane, so you can go to the airport, sign it and send it back."

"Sure." - I sighed, ending the call and dropping my phone on the kitchen counter and resuming my task.

After the cloth was soaked with cold water, I returned to Harry.

"Oh, my dear sweet." - I sighed, noticing he was sweating and burning with fever.

He mumbled something I couldn't quite decipher and turned his head to the side, exposing his neck covered in already drying cream.

"What was that, babe?" - I asked softly, placing the cloth back on his forehead and keeping it there.

"Hug me, please. I'm cold."

"I'm sure the heater will start warming the whole place soon. Be patient." - I sighed, climbing next to him and wrapping my free arm around him.

"Why is this happening to me?" - He mumbled in between breaths.

"Because you're too devoted to your job, up to the point you wouldn't give up a plant to save your life."

"They need that plant. Is Mikey working today? Did you call him to cover my shift?" - He said, slightly furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

"Harry is almost five in the afternoon. He worked this morning, I told you I called him."

"Right. I shouldn't… I shouldn't stay here another night. I can go home." - He whispered, burying his face on my chest in search of warmth.

I pulled the covers up to get him more warmth if possible, tucking him in.

"You're staying here. You can't even move from bed, Harry. Not going anywhere. I'm taking care of you."

I knew Harry wasn't alright.
I knew I was doing all I could to get him better.

But it just wasn't enough.

It even seemed he was getting to the point of starting to hallucinate due to the fever.

"Lou… I want tea."

"I can't give you tea because of your throat, H." - I repeated for the twentieth time.

He whined and suddenly started coughing for air.

"God, Harry. Please love, just get better." - I whispered, feeling his forehead hot again already. - "I can't see you like this."

And that, that was what made me realize that Harry being sick was killing me.

I couldn't have him like that.
I needed my happy, clumsy and smart Harry back.

It was physically hurting me to see him deal with this allergy, he was suffering and it was just too much.

I pecked his forehead more times than I can count. He whimpered again but this time I felt his tears falling in my chest as he started panting again, sobbing and trembling from the cold against my chest.

I couldn't find any more words to explain how much my chest was hurting from the sight.

And I felt so useless that nothing, nothing I did was helping him, that I just wanted to be me in this place.

I couldn't stand to see him suffer.

And it hit me.

Harry was my other half.
I could actually feel it.
I could actually feel that he had been there all along.

That me and him were somehow one whole.
That he was all I ever wanted and all I'll ever want.

And the feeling was so strong, and yet so beautiful that I felt empowered.
I felt like I had just had the biggest epiphany.

Like I had just won the lottery and realized that Harry was this unique piece of beauty that was only mine.

And even if I knew that Harry and I were very compatible and my mother's words were not wrong when she said I was in love.

This was bigger.

This was as if now I understood I couldn't live without him.
That once I returned to England, it would be impossible for me to carry on with my life if he wasn't there.

But for that, he also needed to know me entirely.
Because if I really wanted to share the rest of my life with him, he needed to know what would get in the way.

The things that he would have to go through to actually be my partner, my boyfriend, my future.

"My beloved, my sweet, please get better soon." - I whispered, wiping the sweat from his cheeks and nose. - "I need to tell you something."

But maybe, I could just stay here. Resign my old life and just… just start over.

With Harry.

And I think that idea was growing on me, looking down at Harry in my arms, now fully asleep, while I caressed his hair, his eyes, his cheeks.

Everything I needed was here. Was him.
I felt it everywhere.

I was ready to tell him all, to tell him that for him I would retire, that for him I would stay here and do whatever just to be close to him. To the person that came into my life to change it all.

I was ready to make him my boyfriend and to make him happy.

He said that our happiness could only happen if we made the right decisions.

This seemed like a good decision.
Even if it meant giving up my country, visiting my family and friends, and retiring from my job years earlier than my original plan dictated.

It was worth it, right?

But then, taking me back to reality, my smartwatch lit up, showing a new unopened message from Liam.

United sent me the contract. They gave you a raise and are very happy to have you back. Please sign it as soon as your plane arrives.

And that was it.