There's nothing quite like the aching weight of around three thousand, four hundred and fifty long miles - that's about five thousand, five hundred and fifty three kilometres - of endless ocean to make you miss your lover. George and Clay would know that better than most. It was hard. Incredibly hard.

But it wasn't the worst bit.

George thought that the hiding would be fine. He didn't need the world to know as long as he had Clay. As long as it was he and Clay, together, then it would be fine.

But he didn't take into account the possibility of actively having to cover their tracks.

It wasn't hard for George himself, no. He made sure to talk about Clay often on streams and social media, knowing the fans believed he was separate from Dream. As long as George was crushing on Clay then he couldn't be crushing on Dream was their logic. So, it wasn't hard for George.

It was hard, however, for George to see Clay have to cover it up. To have Clay tell him he had to cut down on the amount of streams he was involved in because people were getting suspicious. To have Clay become paranoid of his every breath, all for the sake of keeping George out of the public eye as much as possible.

They still had moments, ones that George and Clay would cherish, where their reality didn't seem so harsh. Moments where George would fall asleep on call with Clay and wake up to his soft snores down the line. Moments where they'd plan outings for when they next saw one another - outings they'd probably never get the chance to enjoy.

It was the hiding, ultimately, that placed the heavy weight on the rope that tied George and Clay together. It was the hiding that brought the strain.

And, like every new, stupid and repressed couple does, they ignored it. They went on as if neither could feel the slowly building pressure weighing down on their hearts. Because they weren't able to risk the possibility of pulling away from one another.

"Clay, I am begging you to come see George." Nick opened the moment Clay answered his seventh call in a row. Clay set the phone down beside his laptop with a strangled sigh, knowing he really didn't have the time to be on call right now.

"Why, what's up?" He managed to get out, heart aching at the mention of his boyfriend. He'd made a deal with himself to not think about George too much for fear off simply booking an impulsive flight again. He'd been chastised by management for months after that stunt.

"He won't stop whining about how much he," Nick raised his voice a few octaves into a mocking tone "misses you but doesn't want to tell you because you're so busy and so stressed and already trying so hard." He complained with an underlying note of concern. Clay had known the two long enough to know that this meant Nick was genuinely concerned for George. So something had to be genuinely off with George.

"I wish I could come see him," Clay huffed, fingers pausing over the keyboard "but I can't. Not for another month, at least." Clay grumbled. He'd pleaded almost daily in order to shorten the break before he could see George, management would snap if he brought it up again. Nick groaned loudly, overshadowing the sound of Clay returning to typing.

"I wish there was a way we could all get management off your case. Vin's been looking into it but nothing so far." Clay felt his heart warm marginally at the fact that his friends were so willing to help he and George be happy together that they'd attempt to help without previous prompting. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"I guess we just have to wait another month." He decided, resigned. After a moment of letting his hands hover over the keyboard, Clay decided he wasn't doing anything valuable anyways and shut off his laptop. Nothing more valuable than George, at least. "I'll video call him though, I wanna see him again."

Nick fake gagged but was satisfied none the less. He hated seeing his best friend sulking, equal parts because he was worried and because he could not stand George's mopey whining.

////:\\\\
23/9/20

Clay <3
Hey, you free to call?
6:27pm
I miss you :(
6:27pm

Georgie 💕
You ask as if I have a life
6:27pm
Call me already, loser
6:27pm

Clay <3
You're so romantic
6:27pm

Georgie 💕
I know :)
6:27pm
Now call me, I wanna see your stupid face
6:27pm

Clay <3
k, calling
6:27pm
Seen

////:\\\\

Clay called, as he'd said he would, holding his thumb over his phone camera. George picked up, face immediately dropping at the lack of boyfriend on his screen.

"Why are you covering your camera?" George asked sadly. Clay took a moment to take him in instead of answering.

George was curled in bed - which came as a surprise to Clay; It would be 11:27pm for him and he usually stayed up until ungodly hours of the morning doing nothing in particular and streaming - bundled in a gray hoodie of Clay's. He looked sleep-soft, hair mussed and spread out slightly on the pillow beneath his head. One of George's eyes was pushed closed from where his cheek was smushed into the pillow.

"Hello? Clay? Dream?" George called, dragging out each word. Clay finally zoned back in and smiled, deciding to answer George's question.

"You said my face was stupid." Clay stated, wandering his way to the kitchen to eat as he'd forgotten to while caught up in work. He opened the fridge to find a plate of food with a small note on top. The note read 'if you get hungry -V'.

George rolled his eyes. "It's because it is stupid." He retorted grumpily, listening astutely to the noises coming from Clay's end. Clay put the plate in the microwave before humming at George.

"Well, if you're going to be like that.." Clay trailed off, smirking to himself as he watched George's reaction.

"No, don't go." George whined, shuffling his whole body closer to his phone as if he couldn't just bring his hands closer. "Your face is stupid and I like it very much?" George tried with a sleep addled grin. Clay was too much of a simp to ever say no to George. He removed his finger from the camera and George smiled wider.

"Hi." George greeted, voice small, and Clay felt his heartstrings tug painfully.

"Hi, baby." Clay replied, pulling the plate from the microwave and sitting at the dining table. George giggled, curling in on himself slightly, pink cheeked. Clay would never get over the way George reacted to being called pet names. He couldn't say anything though, having almost fully shut down when George called him sweetheart not long ago.

"How are you?" George asked, attempting to prop his phone up on his pillow so that he could take his hands away and settle more fully into bed. He'd planned on getting an early night but was more than happy to sacrifice his sleep for this.

"I'm alright, yeah." Clay lied. George already worried for him enough, he didn't need to concern him more. And he didn't want to risk George missing him more if he admitted his heart aches whenever he thinks about the distance between them. "How are you?" George studied Clay's face for a moment, dissatisfied. He could tell that Clay was lying. He decided to drop it, however.

"I'm good." George lied as well, finally having propped his phone up. He didn't want to guilt trip Clay or upset him more by admitting that something heavy settled in his lungs every time he realised how far they are from one another and how much they have to fake on a daily basis. Clay nodded with a smile.

The two eventually fell into warm conversation, happy to accompany one another while Clay ate and George battled sleep. No matter how hard things became, being around one another remained impossibly easy.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" George asked sleepily, eyes almost entirely closed. Clay fawned over the sight, having cleaned up after himself and moved to lay in his own bed, if only to feel closer to George. In reality, they'd never felt further away.

"We've got a shoot with a model, hang on and I'll get her name." Clay said, briefly pulling George from full screen in order to scour for the email. "Here: Keres Hexx. I think it's to promote the new album." He continued, full screening George once again and cooing to himself over his almost-asleep face. George hums.

"I hope it goes well." He slurs out, unable to lift his eyelashes from where they rested on his cheeks despite how much he tried. Clay simply smiled and admired him for a moments time before figuring George really ought to sleep. And Clay really ought to get back to work.

"Go to sleep, honey bee. I'll still be here when you wake up." Clay murmured to a drowsy George. George was already drifting.

"You promise?" He just about managed to ask, determined to stay awake for Clay's answer.

"I promise." Clay responds and George slips into the land of the dreamers.

Clay felt his chest ache and his skin grow cold. Doing things like normal people do was proving to be awfully hard when Clay had to pretend to the world that his heart wasn't entirely belonging to George. And when Clay had to watch George pretend that that didn't tear him apart.

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1.6k words

Lies lies lies...

...is a good song :)

Feedback is welcome and appreciated!!

Yours, Dandelion.