Athena

"Nana, I'm sorry that I don't have any news about his whereabouts."

Kaagad akong napailing at napangiti sa sinabi ni Ayesha. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay nya. "Kahit na may alam ka, ayokong may sasabihin ka sa akin, Sha." sabi ko. "Just let me wait for him even though there's no assurance anymore that he'll come back to me."

Ayesha sighed. "Won't you love another person anymore?"

Kaagad akong umiling sa tanong nya. "I'm never gonna fall in love again..." I smiled. "...atleast it's him."

The love that I have for Magnus isn't a joke. He's someone I'm willing to fight for. He's the one who gave me a reason to take a risk. He'll be my first and last.

This man will forever be my man.

"Hi! Nandito na ang dyosa ng kagandahan!"

Kaagad sumama ang tingin namin ni Ayesha sa bagong kakarating lang na si Sabrina. We were waiting for almost an hour! Ang tagal nya bago dumating.

Excited pa naman kami sa result kanina pero ngayon mukhang hindi na kasi ang tagal nya talagang dumating.

"Sorry na," kaagad na sabi nya bago umupo sa tapat namin. Nilapag nya ang donut sa harapan namin. "Ito, oh. Bumili ako para sa inyo. Mag thank you kayo,"

"Ayoko,"

"No way,"

Kaagad syang napanguso dahil sa sagot namin ni Ayesha. Hinanda nalang namin ang laptop at kaagad tinignan ang result ng bar exam. We just keep on finding our names...until we found it.

"Nakapasa ako?! Nakapasa ako?! Oh my gosh! Nakapasa ako?!" naiiyak na ngayon si Sabrina sa amin. "Girls, architect na ako!"

We immediately hug her. Hindi namin kaya ni Ayesha na maging masaya talaga kagaya ng kay Sabrina ngayon. We still have a long way ahead of us.

"Mom!" kaagad tinawagan ni Sabrina si Tita- Mama nya. "Architect na ako! Opo, nakapasa ako! Mama, hindi na ako pabigat sa bahay!"

Natawa na lamang kami habang pinapakinggan si Sabrina habang kinakausap ang ina nito sa kabilang linya.

Afterwards, we had a party. Lahat kami ay natuwa para sa isa't isa. Ang daming nag attend sa party kasi nagpabooking si Ayesha sa bar ng exclusive. Kami-kami lang dito ang tao kaya kakilala lang namin ang lahat ng bisita.

Nakiinom lamang ako at nakipag-usap sa mga iba pa naming mga batchmates. Nang medyo hindi na ako makarelate sa usapan, kaagad akong tumungo sa balcony para magkaroon ng oras para makipag-usap sa kalangitan.

Kada may gusto kasi akong sabihin kila Mama at Magnus, tumitingin lamang ako sa kalangitan at kinakausap ito.

I smiled while looking at the skies. "I passed. Are you proud of me right now?"

Napangiti ako lalo nang ma imagine ang mga reactions nilang dalawa kapag nandito sila ngayon. Mama would be jumping while shouting because of too much happiness while Magnus would just look at me proudly and kiss me.

"I missed you..." I smiled sadly. "I wish you two were here."

Life without them wasn't easy. There were times when I stare blankly at the floor, just thinking about where did it go wrong. Kung paano at bakit sila nawala sa buhay ko.

But I just immediately pick myself up because I already promised myself that I would never let 'me' burst into downfall again.

Now, I'm trying to rise from the downfall.

"What's your plan after this?" tanong ni Ayesha sa akin, sumunod kasi sya rito sa akin sa balcony.

Sumandal ako sa railings. "Mag-aaral kaagad tapos take ulit ng bar exam. How about you?"

"Just the same with you," ngumiti sya sa akin. "Hanggang sa maging psychiatrist ako,"

I smiled at her. Tinaas ko ang baso kong may laman na wine at tinaas ito. Tinaas din ni Ayesha ang sa kanya para sana makipag cheers sa akin pero may isang sumingit.

"Sali ako!"

Natawa nalang kami bago nagpatuloy ulit. The three of us just raised our glasses.

"Sana makagraduare na rin kayo!" sabi ni Sabrina.

"A diploma!" aniya ni Ayesha.

I smiled. "Graduation!"

The three of us smiled at each other before readying ourselves to say the next word.

"Cheers!"

As our glasses clicked at each other, the scenario immediately became fuzzy as it changes. From the girl who was dreaming of graduating as a psychologist to a girl who graduated as a psychologist.

Now, I'm standing on the stage, speaking as a Magna Cum Laude.

"Our school life wasn't easy. There were some mental and nervous breakdowns during every quiz and oral recitations. Especially on examinations." lahat ng nasa audience ay natawa sa sinabi ko. "There were moments where we don't have the same energy as we had in the first semester."

"There were moments where we don't feel like doing anything because it's too draining for us. There were also some moments where we feel envy with our classmates who get a lot of achievements."

"Those were the moments where we want to quit college so bad. Those were the moments where we weren't happy with our school life."

I smiled. "Those were the bad moments which everyone had. That's why I want to congratulate all of you on overcoming all of those moments! Now, all of our tears and sweat have paid off. Congratulations to all of us. Thank you, everyone."

As I ended my speech, everyone clapped and cheered. As I stood there earlier, I could prove that it was a satisfying moment for me.

I feel so proud of myself right now and I also know that Mama is proud of me. This was our dream, for me to become a Magna Cum Laude.

"Ma..." nakangiti ako ngayon na nakatingin sa kalangitan. "...I made it."

As years passed by, natupad ko lahat ng pangarap namin nila Magnus at Mama. That was to graduate as a Magna Cum Laude, pass the board exam, be a successful psychologist, travel around the world, build a house, buy a car, and have a lot of money in my bank account.

This is the best feeling ever that I have ever felt...the feeling of being successful.

"Ma, nagawa ko na lahat ng mga bagay na pangarap lang natin noon." sabi ko habang nakatingin sa puntod ni Mama ngayon. Pinatong ko ang bulaklak sa puntod nya. "I bet you're proud of me right now."

I smiled. "Sayang, hindi mo naranasan na pumasok sa bahay. Pinagawan pa naman kita ng kwarto, Ma. Lahat ng gamit mo nandoon at syempre may banyo roon sa kwarto mo gaya ng gusto mo rati, Ma."

"Sa bahay din pala tumitira na ngayon si Ate Rosa. Pinalipat ko sya kasi bukod mag-isa lang naman ako sa bahay, ayoko rin na doon pa rin sya sa ilalim ng tulay natutulog."

Naputol ang moment ko sa harapan ng puntod ni Mama nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko. It was a call from my pregnant friend, Sabrina.

[Nasaan ka? June 22 ngayon. Nasa airport ka na naman?! Pumunta ka nalang dito kesa maghapong nag-aabang dyan.]

Mahina akong natawa sa bungad nya sa akin pagkasagot ko ng tawag nya. "Nandito pa ako sa sementeryo. Binibisita si Mama. Mamaya pa ako pupunta sa airport, pagkatapos ko rito." sabi ko sa kanya.

Napabuntong hininga sya sa kabilang linya. [Kailan ka makakapunta rito? I missed you! I just want to hang out with you, Nana.]

I smiled at what she said. She's really the sweetest friend. "6 pm. I'll be there later. Bye! Love you!"

[Ang tagal pero sige na nga. I'll just wait for you. 6pm, okay?!]

Pinatay ko na kaagad ang tawag nya bago ako humarap ulit sa puntod ni Mama. "Alis na po ako, Ma. Aabangan ko lang si Magnus sa airport..." napangisi ako. "...ulit."

I just bid a farewell to Mama's tombstone before heading to the airport. Gaya ng nakasanayan, umupo kaagad ako habang nagbabasa ng libro.

Hindi na ako kagaya ng dati na palaging nakalingon, nag-aabang kung sino man ang mga bagong dating. I'm just here not because I'm hoping to see him again, but because I feel like this is the only place where I could feel his presence.

Dito kasi kami huling nagkita.

"Ang swerte mo..." sabi ko habang nakatingin sa suot na kwentas na bigay sa akin dati ni Magnus. "...kasi mahal na mahal kita."

Our love was painful because I remained while he faded away...but it wasn't the love that I could throw it away immediately.

Sya ang pag-ibig na masakit pero palagi ko pa ring pipiliin. Kasi sya ang pag-ibig na kahit kailangan ko ng sukuan ay panghahawakan ko pa rin.

It was a love where it became the other reason why I burst into downfall...but it is also a love that helped me rise from the downfall.