Ted's POV.

I unlock the door to my hotel room.
Somehow, I actually gave up trying to get Peeta to talk to me. I feel angry with myself for actually giving up, I never give up.

I stomp inside the room, slamming the door behind me and throw myself on the bed.
I feel guilty, leaving Peeta behind all does years back. If I could change what I did, I would. But I can't, the past is already written, it can't be erased.

Of course, I do have a lot of things to feel thankfull about in my life. Lizzie for example. Fron the first moment I saw her, I knew she was going to be mine. And now here we are, three years later, about to get married and me trying my best to reconnect with my family. I know if it wasn't for Lizzie I wouldn't be here right now. It was her initiative to sendo the invitations. The moment I found out she had sent them, I felt in complete utter shock she did. The guilty of actually having left my little Brothers behind with that wicth of a mother still ears me alive. And all I want to do right now is to get in the right page with then again.

Eddie was easy. We had already spoken a few times before. He needed a job after he left highschool. I got in touch with some of my friends and got him a job as a salesman in a store from Apple.
He even lived with me for some months while he was setling in. At first I got mas at him for leaving Peeta alone with mother, but I really couldn't blame him. I did the same. Plus, he had a good reason for leaving. Mother kicked him out when she found out he was sneaking money from the cashier so that he could afford college.

Peeta is a different story, he always was. Motyer always had some sort of deeper hate for him. She didn't like any of us in particular, but she always was tougher with him. I always assumes it was because of the fact he had so much things in common with dad. His kind ways, his always cheery mood. Not to mention his deep blue eyes. It was like watching an younger versicolor of him.

As my little brother, I always felt protective over him, specially after dad left. He sometimes seemed to be the only good thing about home. the only piece of happiness in that shattered place we lived in. But today, when I saw him he didn't seem the same. He looked different, not in the way he is older now (and also ressentira more of dad) but the way he actually felt inside. The innocence he had in his being that molded everything he was, was gone. Leaving an other shattered should behind.

A while after Peeta slamming the door in my face a disheveled older man opened the door and abruptly asked who I was. I lost any sort of confidence I had gained getting ready for this encounter, when a dark haired girl appeared behind me, claiming she was Katniss, the girl whom I had spoken to a few days ago.
I couldn't stop actually feeling proud of Peeta, for his girlfriend was actually beautifull. She was also fierce and had a strong personality, making me question how did Peeta ended up with her. She is everything that Peeta isn't, like fire and water. But then again, Peeta could've changed a lot in the past 5 years.

Katniss told me to don't push Peeta too for he could get even more upset than what he probably already was. Ahe said to just come back the next day, so that his mind was clearer.
I made myself promise that I would come tomorroweven though the man who opened me the door, and also is Peeta's foster father, acres with hostility towards me. He was sloppy and extremily annoying but Katniss seemed to actually like him, so probably he wasn't such a bad person.
What a weird bunch Peeta shares his life with.

I decide on taking a quick shower and go to bed arterwards. It was a long trip.

I go to the bathroom and hop in the shower.

After I dry myself clean I phone Lizzie through the hotel's phone.
She showed herself positive that Peeta would end up actually letting me talk to me him. If it wasn't for her I'm not sure where would I be. She helped me heal, forget about the bad things of the past and understand that life can be good again. I felt hopeless and in the dark before she appeared in my life and brought light to it. And right now, That's all I want to Peeta.

I get under the covers and let myself fall asleep.

-------next morning------

I park the car infront of the big house where now Peet lives.

I get ut and make my way to the entrance door. I take a deep breath and knock as confidently as I can.

But all the confidence I had worked up this morning goes away and a Peeta with a neutral expression opens the door. This time shock doesnt't take over his state, as he stands steel waiting for me to say something.

I open my mouth to recite the speech I had planned this morning during breakfast but it seems stupid to say it now that Peeta is infront of me. Instead I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Long time no see, right Peet?" Stupid, I know. I mentally scold myself for saying something so meaningless to my little brother that I haven't had a word of for 5 years.

Peeta raises his eyebrown at me.

I take the chance to have a better look at him since the last time he almost immediatly slammed the door in my face. He is a lot different from the last time I saw him, but at the same time he looks almost the same. He's much taller now, almost towering me, making me somehow feel uneasy. His expression doesn't betray his feelings, except for the glimpse of something I see in his eyes, although I can't get an hold of what it is. Hurt? Hatred? Disapointment maybe? I scar crossing his forehead, just above his eyebrow, is pretty evident, even with his blond locks almost reaching his eyes. Just now the impact of actually having left Peeta behind hits me. I didn't even seen him grow up, I didn't even care about him when I left, even if I knew I was the only thing actually protecting him from ours mother?s rage.

Peeta sighs "Was it Katniss who told you to come?" he asks, still not betraying his emotions.

I nod "She called me a few days ago." I mumble, still trying to regain my confidence.

"I knew she was up to something." he mumbled under his breath. Then he looks up at me uncertainly and stares me dead in the eyes.

"Besides snapping at me about anything I said, nothing much. She just told me I should come and try to makes things right with you." I say. Peeta nods and presses his lips closed, leaning in the door frame and crossing his arms in his chest. Looking at him right now I can see where he got his looks from, everything about him has dad written all over it.

I sight feeling uneasy under his attentive watch. "Look, I know you probably don't want me here and you are mad at me but I just wanted-"

"I'm not mad." Peeta cuts me off, still clear of any emotion.

"You should. I did leave you by yourself, like dad, even after I hated him for doing it to us." I admit, feeling ashamed. All these years I condescended dad for leaving us, not caring about us. That just makes me feel hypocrite.

"True, but I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I probably would have done the same. That house was hell." he says, directing his gaze to his feet.

I nod and we stay in awkwards silence for some moments. The wind his freezing cold in this part of the country and I certainly wasn't prepared for such a harsh weather. Only wearing a thin leather jacket I can't contain the shiver that runs down my back.

Peeta seems to notice the cold too, as for he enters the house. I'm left undecided if I should stay here or come in.

"You can come in, you know. Haymitch isn't here, so you don't have to feel concious about his constant glaring at you." Peeta adds turning around. That's all I need to step inside the warmth of the house and following Peeta, after closing the door behind me.

The house is just as big inside as it is on the outside. The hair is warm in here, and there's this homey vibe to it. In the living room katniss is lying on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket watching some cartoons. The moment she sees Peeta her face immediatly lights up and she stands up.

"Hey, Ted." she says to me, never adverting her eyes from Peeta. "Do you want me to give you guys some space." she asks Peeta, who shruggs in response and lightly nods.

Katniss kisses Peeta lightly and smiles at me before going out the door. I can't stop noticing Peeta eyeing Katniss longingly until she is out of sight.

I look around trying to find a conversation starter. "So, you're into Powerpuff girls, I see." I say casually looking at the Tv.

Peeta chuckles in response. "Not really. But Katniss loves those. I'm more of a Walking Dead type of guy." he answers lightly.

"Really? It's just that I remember you used to be so scared of that when we were younger." I say, reminding the way Peeta would almost immediatly scurry to his bedroom when I turned on that show.

"Yeah, but it's been years since." Peeta says sitting down. The way he says it doesn't make it sound like an accusation but a feel a pang of guilt as he says that. It's true, who am I to say that I know him when I completely left him for 5 years.

Peeta reaches to the remote and turns off the Tv.

"Nice house." I say desperate to get read of the awkward atmosphere that settled in the room and start a conversation.

Peeta nods. "Yeah, but I still find it to big, compared to the top floor of the bakery and our stuffed tiny bedroom." he says.
I chuckle remembering the way the three of us had to share that small bedroom. It was almost claustophobric.

I turn to look at him, he is still staring at the ground, looking somewhat nostalgic.
"Did you give mom in to the police?" I ask, although I regret it after I say it. By the way Peeta's expression falters into a frow.

"No." he whispers so low that I barely listen to him.
I raise one eyebrow. I know I really shouldn't be pushing the subject, even mention it. If Peeta wanted to give mom to the police he could do that, who am I to judge. "What happened then?" I insist.

Peeta clutching his jaw and rests his face on his hands, placing his elbows over his knees. He stays silence, with his eyes closed, as if trying to control himself not to cry. It doesn't take me long to realize he is not going to answer.

"Sorry." I mumble.

Peeta takes deep breaths, filling the room with the sound of his exhaling.
"Do you ever feel like that she is still here, yelling at you? Constantly ruining your life?" He asks after a while.

I look at him closer. His hands are half covering his face but I can see his eyebrows furrowed in a pained expression.

I know what he means. I also can hear her saying to me how much she hates me, wishes that I wasn't born. Those are memories that will scar us forever. To me it pains me a lot to remembre whar she had become. There are times I still remind myself she wasnt always like that. She used to be good, like a real mother. She would be tender and gentle. After Peeta was born something in her snaped, she grew bitter of us, and it only got worst when dad left. When that time came she foccused on Peeta as if he was some sort of punching bag, while ignored mine and Eddie's existance, as long as we stayed out of her path.

"Yes, sometimes. But it gets better with time, I suppose." I say, trying to ressurge Peeta, and myself. "She wasn't right, though. Everytimes she said those things, it wasn't really true."

Peeta looks at me, with tears in his eyes "How can you be so sure of that? She was our mother, she wouldn't say those things if they weren't true, rigth?" Peeta asks, although not really expecting na answer.

I sight, as I feel tears coming to my eyes too. "It's not like that, you know that. She was depressed, she was just taking her misery out on us. You remembre it. you remembre seeing her going to her bedroom with all those pills in her hands, she wasn't really herself." Peeta shakes his head, as if trying to block out my voice. "She cared, you know. There was a time when she actually cared. Before you were born, she was different. She changed." I add.

"She didn't. She didn't love me, she never cared. After I was born she changed because she didn't want me, because she hated me. She always has." Peeta says, tears flowing freely down his face, leaving me speechless. I never had a way with words, and when it comes to Peeta it's even worst.

So I do the first thing that I can think of, I embrace him and comfort him, regretting every second I didn't take care of him. But now i will, i won't leave him alone again.

AN.
Hey guys!!
Again I'm really sorry for taking so long updating, really. I just haven't really been up to it lately. But I promise I'll try to update more often.
And today I really was in the mood for writing this chapter.
Also, expect the next few chapters to be a little more cheery, I'm really kind of over with this sad chapters. So yeah, I'll try to update another chapter this week.

See you guys!!!
~Claire