Right after Buck left her apartment and she had picked up the pieces of her heart, Ollie grabbed her own jacket and keys, leaving her home as quickly as she could. Her brain was foggy, clogged with everything that had just happened, sitting in a lazy river of emotion that it just couldn't push through. She wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn't come. They would build up, her eyes stinging and throat closing, but they just wouldn't move past the barrier of her eyelids.

    She walked without aim, her feet hitting the pavement beneath her as the cool air of the Los Angeles night enveloped her like a blanket. Her fingers fiddled with her keys inside of her pocket, her keychain jingling loudly in the quiet streets. Every once in a while, she'd catch a glimpse of something familiar, noting where she was, but she mostly kept her eyes on her feet. She counted how many steps she could take inside of one sidewalk square, slowing down or speeding up her space to add or subtract to the number.

    Ollie felt numb. Lost. Feeling these feelings had been easy ten years ago – she could blame her distance on her sister passing away, or on wanting to focus on her future after high school. She had never admitted back then that she had loved Buck. She was young, but aware, and knew that love was a big deal and shouldn't be said loosely. She had felt it. Deeply, in every bone in her body. But she had never said it, never made it real.

    But now, she knew that she loved him. It was real, burning through her nerves like a wildfire. She knew that she wanted to keep him around, that she wanted to hold him close. Her life had always brightened when he had come into it, whether it was in her sophomore year of high school or her first day of work at the 118. He brought happiness and light into the gloom that she, admittedly, surrounded herself with.

    Her walk brought her to Eddie's house before she could even consider if it was a good idea or not, staring blankly at his front door and trying to make the decision to knock or not. He had just left her apartment about two hours before, talking about how he had to get home to get Chris in bed with an urgency only a young father could have. She didn't know if he had gone to bed, or if her arrival would wake up the aforementioned child.

    Ollie stared at the front door so long that she knew she looked insane, or at least a little creepy, letting out a soft sigh and rubbing her face with her hand. She was about to turn around and walk back home when the door creaked out, light streaming out onto the porch. "Ollie?"

    "Uh. Hi." She murmured, eyes looking up at Eddie sullenly.

    He held the door open wider once he confirmed who had been loitering on his doorstep, brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing here?" He questioned, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe and bringing the beer in his hand up to his lips. When she didn't answer after a moment, he finally took the time to examine her face in the orangeish light radiating out of his living room. "Are you okay?"

    She rubbed her lips together as she stared at him, slowly shaking her head. "No." She admitted, although she couldn't bring herself to say much more after that. The heat of a sob was building up in her throat again, eyes stinging with repressed tears.

    Noticing the wrinkle of her nose as she attempted a sniffle, he let out an understanding sigh, stepping forward and placing his hand on her shoulder. Ollie took the moment to tuck her head into his neck, arms curling around his waist as his free arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her as close as he could.

    Eddie, much to her pleasure, didn't say anything as everything hit her like a freight train, the tears she had been pushing back for over a decade finally all rushing to the surface. All of her walls crumbled to dust and ash as her quiet sobs and soft cries were muffled into his cotton t-shirt, clinging onto him like a child that had woken up from a nightmare.

    Once she had finally settled into sniffles rather than full-blown crying, she finally pulled back, her arms retreating from his waist. Despite her complete retreat, his hand still stayed splayed on her lower back, the heat from it burning through her jacket and shirt, straight into her skin. It was a comforting touch, but also hesitant.

    Eddie knew her better than she wanted to admit. Since they had met, in a dingy bar with a jukebox controlled by an app and e-cigarette smoke curling in the air, he had seen right through her. He didn't admit it at first, when they were strangers passing along quick, flirty lines and ghosting touches, even when she could see the prying in his eyes and in the questions he asked.

    When their time together had gone from flirty to friendly, he had revealed that he had peeled her apart, layer by layer. He could tell that she didn't ever spend time with people that way, that she wasn't the one night type, that there was something cloudy behind her suspiciously bright eyes. In return for his two cents, he had laid out his past, his absentee wife, their troubled past and their child. He had cracked his ribs open, displayed everything in his heart, there in the soft glow of her hotel room's vanity lights. She had given vague answers with tense smiles, an invisible shield laid between their bodies.

    He had always been okay with her quiet. He had been patient and understanding, knowing that she'd speak when she wanted to, when it bubbled up until it overflowed.

    And now was that time.

    Silently, he pushed his front door open again, stepping inside and holding it open as she followed behind him, head tilted down like a kicked puppy. They moved into his kitchen, him placing a glass of water on the island as she leaned against it, elbows propping her up.

    "The time to speak is now." Eddie broke the silence, leaning back against his sink as he brought his beer back to his lips. "And whatever is said here, stays here. I mean it, Olivia. You can't keep any of it in anymore. You won't tell Maddie, because you're afraid your bad feelings will be some subconscious attempt to usurp hers. You won't tell Buck, because you're afraid that revealing more to him will make him expect more of you. You have no reason to keep it from me. You know my bad stuff, and you know I've already gotten over most of it. And I'm asking. You're not intruding."

    Ollie's eyebrows raised as he spewed everything out at her, head hanging heavily on her shoulders. "Are you a shrink now?" She dryly responded, her voice rough and scratchy. To try and soothe it, she wrapped her fingers gingerly around the glass he had laid out, sipping at the drink slowly.

    "And now you're deflecting." He deadpanned, fixing her with another one of his signature disappointed looks.

    A large sigh left her lips as it worked on her, forehead laying against the cool top of the counter as the sound of her groan reverbrated in her skull. "I told Buck I loved him." She grumbled, keeping her head down, unable to meet his eyes.

    There was a pause before Eddie spoke. "Isn't that a good thing?"

    "No, Edmundo, it's not a good thing." She groaned again, sitting up straight before jumping up to sit on the counter, crossing her legs and turning to face him. She'd clean his counters for him later if he had a problem with it, but she needed elevation. "Because he was asking what we were. And I couldn't give him an answer."

    "Why couldn't you give him an answer?" He pressed, crossing his arms over his chest. Leave it to the sassiest man alive to ask the hard-hitting questions.

    Ollie gave him a look, the urge to bottle everything up building up in her chest again until his eyes softened around the corners, ushering her on. Her body deflated in submission, eyes rolling and diverting away from his before she could finally get the words out. "We've been... trying things out, I guess. A kiss here and there, one night he spent in my bed ... without sex, get your mind out of the damn gutter."

    His hands raised in surrender as her sharp eyes found him, empty beer bottle now abandoned on the counter. "I wasn't going to say that, Olivia, but thank you for the specifics." He huffed, lips tilting up at the corner at the annoyance painted across her face. "Back to the task at hand... you guys were basically dating." The attempt to sum it up was paired with a dramatic flair of his hands.

    "No. Yes. I don't know, Eddie! I don't date!" She cried, falling back to lay down on the counter, eyes facing the ceiling. "I haven't dated since him. I don't know if I can date. If I am capable of it. I am not sure if you've noticed, but I'm pretty detached from everyone. I wake up, I go to work, I go home, I go to sleep."

    A small laugh bubbled out of his lips as he moved over to the counter, leaning over her to catch eyes with her. "Sorry to tell you, Bloom, but you're past that now." Eddie's hand grabbed hers, warmth enveloping the frigid state her hands were usually in, pulling her back up into a sitting position. He stayed in her bubble, hand splaying on the counter as he leaned closer, gaze staying locked onto hers and forcing her to keep eye contact. "You are a part of the 118 family now. You have me, and Maddie, and Chimney, and damn it, you have Buck. Whether you like it or not, you have a family, and you have a man that loves you like breathing."

    Ollie opened her mouth to speak, but his finger raised, cutting her off before she could even squeak. "No. I'm talking now." He interrupted sternly, eyes not even blinking. "You think that everything that has happened to you has been your fault, but it is not. It is a shitty circumstance, in which you have come out on top of. It is time for the sun after the storm, Ollie, not for you to continue beating yourself up for things you cannot control. You are in control of your future. Your life is short and you deserve to live it for both the people that aren't here anymore and for yourself."

    "I don't know if you've noticed because you've been so caught up in your self-hatred bubble, but I've called you sunshine since the day I met you. You probably thought it was because of my Southern charm, that it was something I called all the pretty girls in the bar. But I call you sunshine because that's what you are, Olivia. You are both the sunshine and then the hurricane after it. You brighten things up and then tear it apart." He sighed, sitting up and putting more distance between them. "You are an amazing person. You are a great friend. I love you, in a friend way. Buck loves you, in more than a friend way. Let him. Live."

    Ollie's eyes glazed over again as she stared at him, lips parted in slight shock. All of her sharp quips and sarcastic remarks that she had built up in the entire time he had been speaking had dissipated as he kept talking, her brain fuzzy and swarming.

    As if reading her mind, again, the corner of Eddie's lips twitched into a smile, his doe eyes radiating pure genuinity. "You don't have to say anything. I know that was too mushy for you, but I'll break you sooner or later. For now, you have to go home. Get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day to be a new you. Tomorrow, you find Evan Buckley and you tell him you love him and you tell him that there's a new, brighter future." He talked her through it, holding out his hand for her again. "But for now, you get your dirty feet off of my counter and you go home. I'll call you an Uber."

    She chuckled softly, grabbing his hand and using his support to jump off of the counter. Once she was securely on her feet, adjusting her jacket around her shoulders, she practically jumped at him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "Thank you, Eddie." She murmured, face hidden in his shoulder.

    "I'm your mirror, Olivia." He responded, pulling back to look her in the eyes with a smile. "I will reflect the best parts of you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

olliddie my favorite friendship ever in the world. also, this fic is ending soon im so sorry enjoy it while you cant