Slinking to Ellis' room, Ollie plopped face-down on her roommate's bed, letting out a soft groan. She was still donned in her uniform, although she had undone her button-up and taken off her belt, both now discarded on Ellis' floor from her stampede into the room.

    "Can I help you?" Ellis hummed, looking up from her IPad, where she had been aimlessly coloring in a digital coloring book. It was so obviously her day off, her hair wet and falling over her shoulders, an easy look on her face from a day of relaxing.

    "Sore. Body hurts." Ollie mumbled, mouth covered by the mattress. Rolling over onto her back, her hand draped over her forehead. "I didn't think being gone for three weeks would kick my ass into next year." She admitted, eyes fluttering closed.

    Ellis set her IPad to the side, pulling her knees up to her chest. "You got stabbed, Ollie. Your body is not gonna automatically recover. Is Bobby making you go out on calls? Do I need to give him a talking to?" She furrowed her brow, nose wrinkling.

    She laughed, moving her hand to look up at her roommate. "Chimney and I are stuck on paramedic duties only for a bit. Not extractions or big fires. Although I do miss the smell of burning wood." She sighed dreamily, eyes fluttering closed.

    "You're weird." Ellis chirped before gasping, a lightbulb flashing in her head. "We gotta throw a party! To celebrate you guys returning to work! I can make firefighter and paramedic themed cocktails. Oh, I need to text Eddie and invite him. Can you ask Buck when he gets home? Make a call to Maddie?"

    Ollie sat up with a flinch and groan, turning over to look at Ellis. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I can do that. Wait... How do you have Eddie's phone number?" Her eyes narrowed, lips pursing. "You know he has a wife, right? A child?"

    Her roommate scoffed, pulling her blanket off of her legs and standing up. "I'm not trying to get with him, Olivia. We are friends. Kinda. We don't really talk." She mumbled, moving into her closet. "Get your head out of the gutter."

    A laugh pulled its way out of Ollie's throat before she slowly got up, running her fingers through her hair. "I''ll get the message to Buck, Maddie and Chim. And then I'm gonna shower and nap. I'll see you later?"

    "I'm right across the living room from ya." Ellis responded from the depts of her closet, the sound of drawers opening and closing following closely behind.

    It didn't take long for Ollie to send out invites to all of her friends, immediately getting everyone on board to be at her place that night. She didn't exactly know what Ellis had planned for the night, but knew for sure that it would be better than anything she could think of.

    As promised, she took a quick shower to ease the ache in her muscles before a small nap to bring herself back to life. Once she had awoken and returned to the land of the living, she got up to get ready. Seeing as it was just a small get-together at her own apartment, she didn't put much effort into how she looked, mostly focusing on just looking alive.

    Eight o'clock rolled around faster than she thought it would, causing her to groan softly when she realized she had to crawl out of the cave that was her bedroom. Opening her door, the first thing she came face-to-face with was Evan Buckley, who's eyes widened when he saw her. "Oh. Hey."

    "Hey?" Ollie questioned, furrowing her brow and leaning against her doorframe. "You listening to me get dressed, Buckley?"

    His lips pulled downwards into a frown, eyes rolling. "No. I was coming to make sure you're alive. I got home hours ago and I haven't heard anything. Not even a peep."

    She laughed softly, moving around him to lead the way into the kitchen. "Do I usually make a lot of noise in my room?" She questioned, fingers brushing along the alcohol bottles Ellis had laid out on the island.

    Like he usually did, Buck followed closely behind her, always a puppy on her heels. "Do you wanna make a lot of noise in your room?" He cheekily responded, leaning his elbows on the island and grinning at her.

    Her jaw dropped in shock as she whipped around to look at him, hand lashing out to smack him on the bicep. "What is wrong with you?" She huffed, although a blush had already started to creep up her neck and onto her cheeks, lips turning up in a sheepish smile.

    "I may have been Ellis' cocktail taste tester. She pours heavily." He noted, a sly smile still playing on his lips. Looking closely at him, she could now see the slight glazed look in his eyes, his entire face relaxed in his tipsy bliss.

    Ollie rolled her eyes, walking over to his side of the island and leaning against it, the smell of him washing over her as she entered his space. "Remind me to never leave you two alone ever again." She murmured, wrinkling her nose as she watched him closely.

    A small hum left his lips, a dipsy smile making the deep dimples on his cheeks appear. "Why? It's so much more fun to flirt with you this way." His voice dropped an octave as he leaned in closer, gaze falling to her lips. "I'm not too worried about you hitting me."

    She chuckled in response, lips brushing against his as they seemed to gravitate closer to each other, the smell of the alcohol on his breath flooding her senses. "I'll still hit you when you're drunk, Buck."

    "Mhm," was his only response, his head finally slotting to the side to press his lips against hers. They only stayed there for just a moment before there was a knock on the apartment door, causing Ollie to jump back in shock.

   Her eyes only met Buck's for a second before she walked away to answer the door, but it was just long enough to see the slight hurt and confusion reflected in his blue eyes and cause her heart to squeeze just a little bit.

—

   It wasn't long after the first knock that everyone had filed in through her apartment doors, taking up space in her living room and kitchen despite the small number of people she had invited. Ellis' themed cocktails were a hit, the tipsy daze Buck had started the night off with spreading like the flu. Her apartment was filled with laughter and smiles for the night, giving Ollie an almost euphoric feeling.

   For the first time in a long time, she felt like she had a family again.

   Throughout the night, she continued to stay subconsciously within Buck's orbit. She always chose to sit next to him on the couch when the seat was open, and tended to only get up to refill her drink when he had sauntered into the kitchen to fill up his own. The look in his eyes when she had jumped away from her had continued to play in her mind on repeat since the beginning of the night and, in her own way, she wanted to try and make up for it.

   By the time the end of the night had rolled around and all her goodbyes had been said, Ollie had finally decided to scratch the itch that was her attraction to Evan Buckley. As soon as Ellis had left them to go to bed, she turned to Buck, her hands grabbing onto her waist as she stood up on her tip-toes, placing her lips gently on his.

   Buck's body tensed in surprise at the sudden movement, but it didn't take long for his fingers to thread their way into her kitchen, taking a soft grip near her scalp and pulling her head back further. His mouth moved slowly against hers, sweetly and tentatively, not ushering or urging her for more.

   The moment lasted for what seemed like only a moment before he was pulling away, eyes fluttering open to stare down at her. "What are we, Ollie?" He murmured, voice hoarse.

   She finally fell back to stand flat on her feet, brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"

   "I mean, what are we?" He repeated the question, his hand falling out of her hair to brush through his own. "We haven't talked about it. You kiss me in your room, or when everyone walks away, and then you don't even let our legs touch when our friends are around. No one but Ellis and Eddie even know that we used to be a thing, much less are whatever we are now. So, what are we? Because... because we've only gone at your pace, and-and that's okay. It's all up to you. But I'd like to at least be in the know of what is going on between us."

   The question stumped her. Ollie hated that it did, but it stumped her. Her lips parted with words that wouldn't come out before they closed again, eyes growing pained as she stared up at him, uncharacterlistically speechless.

   A small laugh left his lips in disbelief, stepping away from her to put some distance between them. "You can't even tell me." He murmured, brow furrowing. "I-I have told you everything you need, Olivia. I have told you that I still love you, that I am willing to wait if you're not ready. I am willing to do anything you need. But I cannot wait forever. I cannot only have an inch when we could have a mile. We could have everything, Ollie." His voice became quieter, eyes searching her face for any sign of a reaction. Despite the sadness in his tone, his eyes still shined with a bit of hope, a glimmer of assuming that this conversation could go the way he intended.

   "I'm not ready, Buck," was her response, all of the other words in her brain disappearing. There were so many explanations she could give him, so many feelings she wanted to say, but she just couldn't get them out, no matter how hard she tried. Staring at him in front of her, hearing his words, it all made her heart clench and her mouth run dry. "I-I can't."

    "Why?" He pressed, stepping forward again. "What can I do? What else do you need from me? 'Cause I will give it to you, no matter what it takes."

    A pitiful laugh left her lips, gaze averting from his. "I don't know, Evan." Her hand raised to brush through her hair in anguish. "I don't know what it is. I don't know if I'm scared, or stupid, or what. Because I look at you, and I know what I feel, but I just... I can't."

    A tense silence fell over them for a moment. Ollie didn't know what was worse – the fact that the argument was quiet, or that she hated that it was quiet. If it was loud and angry, she could focus on the anger, have a reason to feel anything but the intense sadness hanging over her like a cloud. But instead it was quiet and gentle, reminding her of all of the reasons why she loved him.

    "I want all or nothing, Ollie." Buck broke the silence, hand raising to brush a piece of hair out of her face, fingertips ghosting against her cheek. "Let me know when you're ready. But I can't have a little bit at a time. I can't be a secret." He murmured. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her head before reaching behind her to grab his jacket, moving to slip his feet into his shoes. "I'm gonna stay at Maddie's tonight. I'll see you on shift tomorrow."

    She watched in longing as he grabbed his keys and wallet, shoving them in his pockets. She only found her voice once he had opened her front door, halfway out of it. "I love you."

    His head turned in surprise to look back at her, shock flashing across his face for just a moment before his lips twitched in the attempt at a sad smile. "But is it enough?" He murmured, watching her for just a moment before finally stepping out of her apartment, leaving her with nothing but the sound of the door clicking shut and her aching heart.