"No one cares. They're just pretending" 
Song: Everybody Hurts by Rem 

~~~

          Will had incredibly curly soft brown hair. He had the same eyes as his brother, shining blue but also as dark as night. His chubby cheeks were covered in chocolate. Hunter bent down and ruffled Will's hair. "Hey buddy! How are you doing? Hope you enjoyed your day." Will furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. "No. I didn't. No one wants to play with me and I'm all alone." I felt bad for Will. I knew what it felt like to be left out. Hunter knelt down and hugged his little brother close to his chest. I was swooning on the inside. Their sibling love was just too much for me to take.

          "It's fine Will. You'll make some friends. It just takes time. But on a happier note, I brought a new friend to meet you," Hunter said as he let his brother go. Will looked up at me, as if only then realizing that I was there. "Hey there buddy," I smiled down at Will. "It's not fair that you get all the pretty girls as friends," Will whined. I laughed when I heard him call me pretty. Guess the Evan brothers have the same way of introducing themselves. "Well then, you've got a pretty girl as a friend too," I kneeled down and replied to Will.

          Hunter stood up and dusted his jeans. "Come on, let's go back home." Then he turned to me and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "I know this is kind of fast, but do you want to come over to mine if you don't have anything to do this evening? Will would love to know you more." I smirked. "If you wanted me over, you could've just said so." Hunter's cheek started glowing red, and I grinned at his awkwardness and embarrassment. Then I remembered that my parents were leaving this afternoon. I looked at my watch and I realized that I was already late. "I'm sorry, but my parents are leaving today and I have to be home. I'm so sorry. I'd love to spend time with you guys, and I might be able to come over later. Bye!" I waved to them both and exited the daycare. I saw Hunter's face fall, but I had to be back home. I drove back as fast as I could.

          I reached my house in 5 minutes and I hurried in. When I entered, I saw my parents in the hall with their luggage in hand. My mom dragged me forcefully into the master bedroom, gripping my arm with otherworldly force. "Why did you come so late today?" she demanded. I almost always get back by three, but it was five when I walked in the door today. I looked up at my mother's face and realized what she was insinuating. "Every time I come to town you get home by three except today. What did you do?" my mom continued. I felt the tears threatening to fall. Is that how low my parents thought of me? How did she even come to that conclusion? I tugged my hands from her grip. "Stop acting like you care." I shouted. "Is that what you think of me?" My mom's eyes widened. "No! That's not what I meant. I was wondering what my daughter was doing," she pleaded. I spat my reply: "Sure you did. Just go. Leave me alone." I barely managed to run to my room as the tears threatened to overwhelm me.

          By the time I made it to my sanctuary, tears were spilling uncontrollably. I needed to breathe. I needed air. I opened my window and let the fresh breeze come in. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my parents driving away. A fresh set of tears built up beneath my eyelids. They couldn't even stay to comfort me! They put their work before their child. They left our conversation without ending, knowing that I was hurt. I smiled through my pain. Unlovable, that's what I was. Nobody was ever going to care for me. It was about time I accept it. I was going to be lonely, and absolutely no one could help it. I went in search for the object that would bring me out of my misery.

          I dug into the drawer and my hand felt a sharp object. I pulled my knife out and set it on the counter in my bathroom. Tears were still pouring down my face. I held the knife to my wrist and pressed it down, hard. Then I slowly dragged it down my wrist, as the skin tore open and blood oozed out. This was deeper than any of the other cuts I had made. I bit down my screams of pain, but a whimper still escaped me. It hurt so bad, the pain in my heart and wrist. It hurt so bad. I set the knife back on the counter and crumpled onto the floor. The tears never seemed to stop. The pain never seemed to stop. I closed my eyes, letting the darkness take over. I floated in the darkness, thinking about how it would be, to be peaceful without responsibilities or worries. How it would finally feel to be happy.

          I woke up on the cold hard bathroom floor. I stood up, still a little disoriented and sleepy. My eyes fell on the knife on the counter, and then automatically traveled to my wrist. It was caked with dried blood. The cut was too deep. If it was a little deeper, I would've been dead! The thought horrified me. I cussed under my breath. How could I have been so stupid and careless? I washed the blood off my wrist and the knife. The gash in my arm was too deep for any band-aid. I took out some antiseptic cream and gauze, applied the cream, and wrapped the gauze around my wrist. This was sure to raise some questions from Hunter, but I was just going to have to think of a convincing lie.

          I knocked on Tyler's bedroom door. "Hey Tyler. Is pizza okay for dinner?" Tyler opened his door, shirtless for some reason. "Sure. As long as it's from Domino's and it's pepperoni." Usually I'd argue with him, since Tyler and I have completely different tastes in pizza. But today I was too stressed and exhausted to argue, so I just nodded and ordered some pizza. I finished my homework before the pizza arrived, and read my book for a while after dinner. Then I decided to go to bed. I tried to avoid any thoughts about what had happened this afternoon, but the weight of all of it fell on me when I collapsed onto my bed.

          My head hurt from all the stress. I let it out by screaming into my pillow. I had to get over this. Getting over things was the only way to survive and walk strong the next day. I let my tears soak the fabric of my pillow. I had cried too much today. This thought made me stop crying, and I wiped the tears off my face. This is who I am. Strong, amazing, and proud. Being depressed and cutting myself is not a weakness, It's my way of surviving the cruelty of the world. I am strong. Broken too many times, but still standing, with or without my broken pieces. I am proud of myself and I would embrace my flaws. I wiped my eyes again and smiled. This is who I am. Me. Not anyone else. Sleep soon took over and I was left in darkness again.