Helena Walton's POV

"It's been six months mom!" I huffed and crossed my arms against my chest pouting like a little girl. I was feeling awful but tried my best to hide it when I was around Adam. He's been through enough already and I wasn't going to add to it.

"These things don't always happen easily Helena, I told you an hour ago and I'm telling you again, you need to be patient sweetie." She took a sip of her tea and gave me a reassuring smile that honestly didn't help one bit. "Where is Adam anyway?"

"He's out with Emily. They have a date every Saturday, she needs to spend some alone time with him. She's always with me or you for that matter." I took a bite of my cookie and smiled at the pictures Adam just sent me. "They are at the water park, she's having a blast."

"That's good. Does she know you're trying to have a baby?"

"She keeps asking me when she'll have a sister or brother." I rolled my eyes but then it hit me "Maybe I can't have babies? What if I'm barren?"

"Oh, dear God Helena! Don't say that. You'll get pregnant just stop stressing about it and stop trying. Forget it for a while, it will happen I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep mom" I smiled and sat up straight "I think I should pay the doctor a visit. Maybe there's something wrong? Better know now. Just to make sure."

"It's not a bad idea, I'll take an appointment for you" she got up and went inside the house leaving me in the garden. It was a sunny and beautiful day, yet I was feeling so down.

Since the day we got back from our trip to Bali, we've been staying in Adam's late parent's house along with Emily. We fell into a routine in no time adjusting to each other. Adam was named CEO of our construction company and started going to work right away. He would come back late sometimes, but I didn't mind as long as we slept in the same bed.

I had taken a couple weeks off to help Emily settle in and feel welcomed; I didn't want her to feel abandoned so I stayed home with her while Adam was at work. Spending most of her time with me, Emily grew fond of me and she was very possessive of me. The day I decided to go back to work, she wouldn't let me. She started crying and throwing tantrums not wanting me to go.

Emily did the same ever since, I wouldn't dare utter the word 'work' in front of her, even though she was fine with Adam working. All she wanted was to have me by her side.

Every time Amanda called, Emily would run upstairs to her room and hide in her closet. She wanted nothing to do with her mother; she even refused to call her 'mom'. I tried my best to mend things between them but that little girl was so stubborn, taking after her dad.

Four months of Emily living with us and she started calling me 'mom'. Don't take it wrong, I loved that she saw me as a person she could trust and love to the point of calling me 'mommy'. I just didn't want to replace Amanda, it wouldn't be fair to her no matter the mistakes she made.

I've been trying to have a baby of my own for a few months and every time I would see the negative test I fell more and more into depression. Having Emily makes me feel better somehow; she fills up the void I'm feeling.

"We can go see the doctor on Monday, do you think Adam can take care of Emily while we're out?" my mom asked sitting down with a plate of freshly baked cookies.

"I'll talk to him, he'll manage" I smiled and looked at the cookies she baked "You're so good with baking, I wished I had skills like that."

"You have skills of your own Helena." She smiled at me squeezing my hand gently over the table. "So Adam said you're all going to Turkey?"

"He wants to visit his family. I'm not really in the mood for that right now, I suggested he takes Emily and go without me but she started crying."

"That girl is so attached to you, I wonder how she'll really feel when you have a baby." I let out a sigh stressing about my doctor's visit. I just hope there's nothing wrong with me.

The weekend went by like a blur; we spent our Sunday with Martin Wells, Adam's grandpa at his lake house. We went there frequently, everyone in Martin's family welcomed Adam except for his aunt Ashley who kept acting like a stuck up bitch. No wonder my dad wanted nothing to do with her. Monday came and Adam wouldn't stop asking why I was going to see a doctor.

"I still don't get why you're going to see a doctor, are you hiding something from me?"

"For the millionth time Adam, I'm not! What would I hide? I just want to have a regular check up, that's all. Don't worry." I kissed him softly and got in my car "Don't forget to take Emily to her Ballet course, it starts in an hour."

"You know what? You've been more than a mother to Emily, and I can't thank you enough Lena. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm sure one day, you'll be an even greater mother to our own children." He leaned in through the car's window and kissed my lips gently melting my heart.

"I love you" I smiled kissing him again.

"I love you too" he kissed me again and pulled away smiling "Now leave before I drag you out of this car" we both laughed together before I drove away.

It hurt me to hide it from him, but I wanted to make sure everything was fine before telling him anything. I went to my parent's house to pick up my mom and headed to the clinic.

Sitting in the waiting room I anxiously checked the clock every second wanting nothing but to go inside and make sure I'm okay. I looked around and saw all pregnant women looking happy and radiant. I hoped I can be as beautiful as that one day.

"You look nervous. Do you want me to go in with you?"

"Will you?" I smiled starting to relax as I watched my mom's brown eyes lit with hope.

"Miss Helena Walton? The doctor is ready for you." The nurse said leading the way to the exam room. "I'll first run some tests and then you'll get in to talk to Dr. Harley."

Done with the tests, I sat in front of Dr. Harley impatiently as she read through the results and took notes calmly. She was so quiet and so calm that I was starting to feel fidgety in my seat.

"I can see how distressed you are, and I want you to relax" Dr. Harley finally set the tests aside and took off her glasses meeting my eyes with a smile. "You think you're barren?"

"Am I?" my voice came out so low and laced with fear that I didn't recognize it.

"Miss Walton, do you know what a BMI is?" I shook my head and she went on. "It's your Body Mass Index. Meaning, it's a measure that uses your height and weight in order to work out if your weight is in a healthy range. And I'm afraid yours isn't." she took a look at her notes "Your BMI is barely 14, the normal rate is 18.5. Which means yours is very low."

"How can I fix it? I mean, why is my BMI so low?"

"Well I should be the one asking you that question" she said with a small laugh. "There could be many reasons, for one, you're probably not eating enough food due to an eating disorder. To live healthily, a woman should at least have 2000 calories a day through a healthy and balanced diet of course."

"I don't eat much doctor, but I don't have an eating disorder, I'm sure of that."

"Maybe you're over-exercising and not having enough food to replace the energy you used?"

"I do work out a lot... most days I exercise twice."

"So, that's already one reason. Now tell me, did something happen that could have caused you stress and worry? It might have contributed to the loss of your appetite."

"So many things changed... I guess I was stressing about being barren. It would get terrifying and I'm actually distraught about the whole situation."

"Listen Miss Helena, we are going to work on your BMI. As long as it's below 18.5, it will affect your fertility. Everything in your tests turned up normal, but you're not ovulating. And I only see that your low BMI is causing it. Are your periods irregular?"

"They are actually, and I was just going to ask you about that" feeling a little relived. It meant I wasn't barren I just needed to gain weight.

"That's also due to your low BMI, and that's why you're not ovulating. Now I'll have to transfer you to a dietitian that will provide you a healthy and balanced diet. You need to gain weight slowly and healthily. I don't want you to worry, you'll be able to get pregnant as soon as we get you to a healthy weight. I'll see you again next month to see how things are going. I'll also prescribe you some pills to help regulate your periods and vitamins."

After reassuring me, Dr. Harley gave me my prescription and asked her secretary to book me an appointment with the dietitian. Thankfully I only had to wait an hour or so to finally go and see her. She was very busy and the nearest appointment was next month! But I was lucky one of her patients canceled. She gave me a diet that I had to follow for a few months depending on how good my body reacts with it. I had to stay away from sugary or high fat foods like chocolate, cakes and sugar drinks. I was a chocoholic but I was strong enough to stop eating those little devils. She also recommended me to aim for regular meals with healthy snacks in between that are high in unsaturated fats such as nuts. Good things I love nuts!

Parking the car in our driveway I looked at my mom and suddenly gave her a bone crushing hug. "Thank you for going with me, and I'm sorry I stressed you so much."

"Don't be silly, of course I'd go with you. I'm sure in about four to five months you'll be pregnant."

"I hope so." We heard Emily laugh and both looked out the window seeing Adam chase after her in the garden wearing a zombie mask. "I swear to god he's going to drive that little girl crazy". My mom and I laughed until I saw Emily getting too close to the pool.

In seconds, I was out of the car and darting towards her worried she might fall in. she still didn't know how to swim and didn't want her to go through another trauma.

"Emily! Watch out!" I called out as loud as I could but it was too late. She slipped and just before she could fall in the pool Adam had her in his arms holding her tightly to his heart.

I reached them and quickly took her from him inspecting her "Are you okay baby?"

She burst in laughter and hugged me tightly "Mommy! You're back!"

I let out a sigh of relief and gave a stern look to Adam who was still under the shock of what might had happened if I didn't call out for her. Emily heard my mom's voice and left us running to her grandma with open arms and giggles filling the crisped air around us.

"Adam, we need to talk."