Irony bristles scraped the inside of his cheek. Trying to spit them out only made them grind his snout deeper into the carpet. Two- or three of them? One to each arm and a knee in his back. Christopher felt a little woozy trying to recall the recent events. Something shocking. Gabrielle was alive. Mariah had lied to him for two years. The same fire crawled up his spine and he heard curses before blacking out again.

The second time, or third, or even forth time he came to with the tightening on his throat loosened enough that he could fit his fingers beneath the hands holding him down. He fell forward, clawing at his neck, gasping and coughing. He shuddered and tried to tell them to let him get up. No one was holding him down anymore because he barely could lift his head. Chris stared up at the ceiling. Carved wood telling the tale of forest creatures and fairies like some Celtic script. He'd never realized how expensive this place must have been.

A feminine voice laughed.

"Just like I taught you." She lightened her grip and he struggled with a growl. "Knock it off. If you keep making a scene they're going to put you in chains. You want that?"

"Hallow."

"Oooo you are angry." She pressed his face into the carpet. "I'll ask you again. Do you want to be in chains, or maybe you want you go catch up with a certain human girl? Play along or I can't help you."

He forced himself to focus on the fingers cutting into his palm.

"That's a good puppy, Sugar."

"I'll never forgive you for lying to me."

For the briefest instance he thought maybe there was a flicker of disappointment, but it was just annoyance. "Why would I care? Go clean yourself up, unless you want to scare her. Here." She shoved an emergency bar someone else handed her into his lap. He was horrified to see he was nearly completely nude. How many times had he changed?

"Why would you give him that? Don't give him any food- he'll be easier to move like this. We can run a line into him when he's chained."

"He's not going into chains." Chris recognized Sean's voice, he sounded giddy. "You told him to do that?"

"Yeah of course." Mariah snorted. "Pup's got a little issue with blood sometimes so I wanted to show ya'll how far he's come. Didn't think words alone would do it."

Chris' head stopped spinning enough to take in the crowd that had formed. Chris realized they were surrounded. Matt, Sanjay and Angela's interviews must have ended. How long had he been out?

No Gabrielle in sight. He wasn't sure if that made things better or worse. Almost all of the visiting pack members were looking amazed. The local betern though seemed to know Mariah was putting on a show. Henry was frowning at him and Jeremy looked ready to spit.

Chris tried to unstick his teeth and forced his head around but only made it part of the way before becoming dizzy. He threw an arm out but it gave and his cheek hit the carpet. "I don't want your help." He grunted with the effort of sitting up again and attempted to get to his feet. Henry put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. His knees gave out easily. His tailbone was sore. Mariah had a red ooze blossoming on her shoulder. He looked down. His chest still had a patchwork of thin, angry pink lines but nothing bad enough to still bleed like she was. Whatever he'd done was bad enough not to be able to heal easily. Good. She may even have a scar.

"He attacked you and he is clearly unrepentant about it. You have to chain him up."

"I'm sorry I have to? For your sake I hope you aren't telling me how to deal with my apprentice, Jeremy?"

"Humping idiot. You might have him believing he's Sapey but he's nothing special. There is no way that little chew-toy could take a bite out of you if he was Holding! You have me train him every other week when you are out on your little 'errands-"

Mariah barely came up to his chest but when she stepped towards him, he gave her room. "Give. Him. Another. Bar."

If Chris hadn't been so completely disgusted by her, he might have enjoyed how the venom in her words shut him up. Jeremy always had plenty of words and not much to say. Matt crouched beside him and handed him two bars and stuck one straight into his mouth. Chris hoped his grateful blink conveyed how much he appreciated the help since his arms were not only weak but very sore.

"Mariah. He has to have some kind of punishment."

"What? Like I said earlier. I told him to attack me. With everything he had. He did a pretty damn good job of it too."

"Mariah...

"Not you too... Hump off, Henry."

"What about the hall? And carpet... and door..."

"So he has shitty timing. We'll discuss it next training session."

"Mariah..."

"Fine." She spat. "He'll sit for destruction of pack property- happy you cowardly snitch SOC?"

"No." A long paused followed like Henry was hoping Mariah might give in. "Matt- give him the new clothes." Henry squatted down beside Chris, finger on his temple and chin leaning on his knuckles. Chris stared back, swallowing the sticky mess and wiping his scowling mouth with the back of his bruised hand. When Henry spoke again his voice was low. "If you were my apprentice, I'd be ashamed of myself right now."

Chris opened his mouth twice, then leaned back.

"Do you know why?"

He fumbled for something smart to say as Henry waited. Chris shrugged.

"Because that right there proves you aren't half as in control as you pretend. Chris?"

"She lied to me. She made me think I was a murder-"

"And the way to get back at her is to try and become one?"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Which makes it worse." Henry snapped. "You were completely, completely, out of control. Are you even worried about that or are you feeling justified by what she did?"

Chris looked at the ground, fresh anger bubbling up but this time panicky, sour on the back of his tongue when he remembered what happened in the kitchen. "It wasn't my fault..."

"No? You were totally overcome? Or did you give yourself permission to do this? Which is it?"

"I... attacked her on purpose." Chris mumbled. Henry's shoulders relaxed but his frown deepened.

"You're going to need to sit out of physical lessons this week till you recover. I'm expecting you in the library. If you think violence of this caliber against your own kind is going to do you good, maybe it will help to learn a little history on it. I guess your free to go then, until we summon you for the inquiry into all this..." Henry waved his hand around. Christopher winced seeing the broken picture frames, the stains and splatter on the carpet and dents and cracks on the corner of a wall. He tried to make a mental note to apologize to Thomas later.

Chris clung to the wall to regain his feet. The food was working even if the heat from the recovery was uncomfortable. "What about Gabrielle?"

"She'll be staying with me tonight." Mariah yelled, keeping her distance now that he was standing. Sean and Shivi were on either side of her, questions pouring out of their mouths.

"Can I see her?" It looked like he had accidently impressed the council after all. He pulled the clean shirt over his head.

"Fine. She just had her own hearing. They are deciding what to do with her. You've started quite a mess, Mariah."

Once more the look between the two and then a toothy smile from Mariah, cocky but edged with something tense. He didn't have time to dissect the odd behavior though- they'd said he could see her. He started for the stairs, faster than he maybe should have considering how much his body was trembling and head throbbing.

His fresh shirt already had a blood stain on it, but he didn't care. Take a shower. Take a shower she'd told him. Well right now he needed to make sure this was real. He started to push into the room when he remembered himself and knocked instead.

"Yeah- come... in?"

He turned the knob and held his breath. Be real. Be real berealberealbealivebereal.

A young woman sat in the oddly tidy second bed, one leg cured under her, the other hanging with her toes brushing the carpet. She had her arms around herself. A dark towel was forgotten on one shoulder, a wet braid of blond hair was tucked over it. The soft gray sweatshirt she had changed into was damp on the shoulders. No makeup. No purple hair. No piercings or striped socks. In the dull light her fear made her look so small.

He was breathing hard. The protein bars had helped, but still he was almost at the limit of what his body could do. He needed to be sure. Annie seemed to recognize the instability and reached out a hand.

Gabby's teal eyes went wide when he caught her shoulder and pressed his hand to the side off her neck. A reassuring pulse beat out a rapid heart rate under the cold tips of his fingers. She grabbed his hand. For a moment he thought she might scream or shove him away but more alarmingly she ran her fingers down round his arm, making the hair on his neck stand on end and then flipped her own fingers to press against his wrist. Her hold was firm.

She smirked but her mouth was tight. He'd scared her. He hadn't meant to. "You sure make a weird entrance. Are you ok, Chris? Your heart rate is crazy."

"I'm...I'm uh..." He looked back toward Annie. His friend was alive and still very much human. He'd practically been told he was going to be trained to take a top role in the pack but only Mariah, who'd lied to him for two years, was in between him and being chained for a month. Even Henry didn't trust him. All Annie would need to do was describe his reaction to seeing a human friend...

To his relief Annie mimed locking her mouth and throwing away the key. He could have done without the eyebrow wiggle before she left. He collapsed backwards on Mariah's bed across from Gabby.

"Why are you here, Gabrielle."

"No sorry-for-grabbing-you-by-the-throat, Gabrielle?" She was swinging her uninjured leg. "You know, you're the only one who calls me that."

"Gabby then. Don't chan-"

"I don't mind." She tilted her head. "I think its endearing. I'm here because the section I was patrolling was compromised. Mariah had to pull me out or I would have been killed."

Killed. But you were already dead. For two years. "Mariah. Mariah stopped you from being killed."

"Mhmmm." She was picking at a loose thread on the comforter. "Being a spy is dangerous stuff."

"A spy." He let the words sink in and they left him confused and cold. "When we met-?"

"No. No after that. After you were safe. I-I wasn't afraid of you. So. She offered me the option to do well... Giving her intel you know. Spy stuff."

"Intel on what."

She lifted her head and sighed patiently. "Obviously I can't tell you that."

The cold was threatening to take over again. It looked like her, sounded like her, smelled like her even but why wasn't she making any sense? Why did she have that disdainful look on her face. He should be ecstatic, pestering her with questions, crying with relief. His friend, the one who'd saved his life was back from the dead. All the nightmares he'd endured, no worse, all the good dreams he'd woken up from only to remember she was gone were in the past. Yet he only felt sadness looking at her. She looked broken. Not just her injury, but her expression. Her eyes looked through him. That wasn't the smile. But then again, what do you remember really? It was two years ago. He'd only had thoughts of her since. Maybe he'd made up this aggressively extroverted human. Would this person climb under a table without a shred of embarrassment or make a random stranger join her for a meal?

"Gabrielle, I... can't even explain how fantastic it feels to see you-" her head came up. "but I get the feeling you don't want to be here. At all." And I still don't understand why you are. This isn't safe. How can it be real?

There was a flicker of something. "Well, you know its not ideal. But, hey I finished my midterms so I'm ok to be gone for a bit."

"College." He said. The idea of Gabby in college wasn't clicking. It made sense for a 19-year-old alive girl to go to college. He was staring at her taking in each freckle, blemish and stray hair as though to memorize, as if he forgot even a single part of her she'd disappear again.

"Yeah, you look like you don't believe me." She huffed. Just like that the girl he remembered was looking at him, half sulking for a flicker of a moment.

"You live in a dorm then, right? I have a roommate, his name is Matt." Chris urged quietly before she dissolved again.

"I think I met him for a minute." He didn't love her expression as she recalled him. "Do you like him?"

"Absolutely not. He's an insufferable artist."

One corner of her mouth lifted. "Watch it buddy- that's what I am too." She brushed a hair behind her ear. "But I get it. I'm not a fan of my roommate either. She's very into hunt... anyway I was going to mention how well you look."

"What?"

She grinned, a quick, sincere expression he hadn't realized he'd craved. "You look so healthy! And so tall." She raised her hand to show. "Kinda rude. We were about the same height before. I guess they've been feeding you well."

"I've been feeding everyone well, actually."

"Ah. Of course you would insist on being in the kitchen."

"I had no control. They just recognized natural talent."

She shook her head, eyebrows raised. "But carefully with the knives, right? We wouldn't want you falling out. Did they pay attention to that when they were evaluating your 'natural talent'"

"I only have trouble if I have to use my teeth now." He'd forgotten himself. Gabby's color had drained from her face and he regretted the way he phrased it immediately. He meant it as light-hearted. Afterall, it always amused the other apprentices. They teased him about it all the time. Now the intangible wedge formed solidly between them. Human. Betern. She was looking at him now eyes rolling to his height. The playful joke about their new size difference was now much less funny. He wished he had the words to put her at ease. He was stupid to think it didn't matter, that even if she was afraid of the rest of them he wouldn't count. He wanted to give her a hug so badly he had to cross his own arms to keep himself from touching her. It would make him feel better, feeling her warmth and heartbeat but would his arms feel like protection or being in a trap for her?

There was a stammer to her voice that she bravely tried to stifle when she spoke again. "I can't fault you for that. Personally I've never passed out killing anything with my teeth but try not to feel too ashamed." She gave him a serious look and leaned forward, placing a hand on his knee. He didn't know if it was for the sake of the joke or to prove to herself she could. She patted his leg. "You'll get there one day, buddy. One day."

He caught a flash of silver along her neck.

"Chris. Chris? Dude- are you for real looking down my shirt?" She slapped his knee.

"You have on the necklace." He barely heard what she'd said. "You kept it."

Her face split into another one of those wonderful smiles. "But of course. A dear friend gave it to me for safety. I'm not sure how well if works..." she looked down at her injured leg. "But, hey I'm not dead, right?"

"No. You're not dead." He agreed. How'd she managed that and ended up working for Mariah... "Stop. You keep it. Please."

She stilled her hands that were preparing to unclasp the silver string. "I kept it for you- you really don't want it back?"

"Like you said, its for protection. And if you are here... well... you might need some."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "That has been mentioned to me, so, yes. If you are ok with it I think I'll hold into this." She tucked it back down. When she noticed his solemn expression, she fired a finger gun at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Sit next to me." It wasn't a request. He didn't move.

"Why."

"Still so stubborn! Because maybe I missed you, ok? And I haven't seen you in two years, or spoke to you- never even got a letter-"

Sorry Gabrielle, I didn't know which remote mile marker off the freeway to send my condolence card to.

"-so stop glaring at me and come closer you newly-giant goof!"

He glanced at the chain around her neck and cautiously joined her. She closed the distance and pulled his arm around her shoulders and face planted into his chest. He grunted in surprise. She was mumbling something which tickled through the shirt. For some reason his hand began to move, running up and down her side. She felt so light compared to the beterni it was a wonder he hadn't noticed before. He had been so incomprehensibly ill at the time though, maybe his weight had been comparable to a human. The thought about how close he'd been to dying made him need to shiver it off. The tension in her shoulders had improved a bit and he recalled the drive up her with the moving van. Her hair was in a braid though so he could only really rub her neck to see if that would help.

Something new was stirring. At first he thought it was just rage, the pure drive- the need to shield her. Especially now that she was safe-r for the moment. But it was worse than that. He felt sick at the idea that he would lose her again at all. And there were so many ways. So many members of the den who might. Gabrielle relaxed into him although he imaged the position couldn't be very comfortable. He could see the red-rim around her eyes and her unpainted lashes. If someone walked in right now...

He didn't want to be The Alpha. An alpha of any kind. Leadership was a trick, uncreative work, constant requests. It blunted excellence for an illusion of respect. But. But if he was in charge or at least moving in that direction he could change some of the rules. Good humans like Gabby wouldn't be under threat of death inside the lodge. They could work together. They would be friends. Or even... He swallowed the thought.

"Gabby- are you ready to sleep?" He gently pushed her upright again.

"I'm just... so tired." She sunk in on herself, blank eyes closely slowly. "And scared."

The last part was breathed lightly enough less sensitive ears would have missed it.

She started to dig out a layer of sheets to climb beneath. He needed sleep too. It was making all of his emotions raw, even the tiny confession of fear send a sharp pain into his chest. But what could he do? Her eyes were far away, bloodshot and had shadows under them. She moved in slow, cautious slides or in quick jerks. Was this how he had looked? So afraid he couldn't think of anything past the next hour of his tentative life, nerves so sharp they felt open to the air, unable to sleep without jumping awake minutes later.

Chris cleared his throat. "You know, a few years ago I thought I was going to die."

Gabrielle frowned.

"And you took me in. And gave me somewhere to sleep." He looked meaningful at the bed. "And stayed with me when I was too scared to sleep alone."

She continued to stare.

"My point is. Do you want me to sleep with you?"

Her eyebrows creased. She pulled the covers higher. "What?"

"Since you are scared."

Her face relaxed and she snorted. When he went to question her she broke into laughter. Laughing so hard she started to cough and tipped slightly, fighting gravity at an awkward angle. He watched her shoulders shake. Her eyes were watering but he laughter shuttered wetly to a halt. She cleared her throat.

He crossed his arms. He'd been sincere about the offer, why was that funny? "Sorry for trying to help."

"Wooo. Did you hear what you said, dude?"

Chris squinted. "What do you mean I just offered to-"

She winked at him. He jumped off the bed. "Not like that!" He could feel his face burning all the way down his neck. Gabby started to giggle again.

"The floor. I'll stay on the floor tonight by your bed if that would make you feel better! I didn't mean-" He shoved his hands in his pockets, unable to finish the sentence which only made her giggle harder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I needed that though." She waved a hand. "That's very sweet. I'd um," it was her turn to look uncomfortable. "I'd really appreciate it." She offered him a pillow.

Chris slid down the wall and watched her try and get comfortable.Hewasn't sure he'd be able to bring himself to leave even if she said she wasfine. He needed to prove to himself every minute she was alive and breathing becausehe still felt like this couldn't be true. Despite her obvious weariness her eyes kept opening. He was having trouble keeping his own eyes open, he felt fatigued even in his toenails. He watched her nearly drift off then jump when her hair brushed across her nose. Then he watched his own finger reach up to push her hair away from her face without asking his brain's permission.

"Give me your hand."

"Hmmm?"

"Like the first night at your house."

She rolled her eyes but offered up her left hand. He ran his thumb over her fingers, feeling the callused area where she balanced a pen. The worried crease on her forehead softened. Gabby stared down at him. "Are you really going to stay there all night?

"Of course." He stuffed the pillow behind his head and crossed his legs. "I'll make sure you're safe, Gabrielle."

She gave him a melancholy smile. "You can't promise that."

She held the comforter to her chest with her other hand, curled up tight. He watched her twitch into sleep and finally her breathing settled into a normal rhythm. Chris leaned his head back against the wall, chewing in the inside of his cheek, remembering what Mariah promised she could teach him. He would have to forgive her. She'd lied to him for years, mocked him, pushed him too hard too fast and yet she'd also saved Gabrielle's life. Lied to protect him downstairs. She could have easily got him sent down to be chained up. There was something seriously wrong with Mariah but maybe that was exactly why nobody, nobody messed with anyone under her protection. It might be time to take advantage of being her apprentice. He glanced up at the fitfully sleeping girl.

Yes. I can promise that.

*******

Strangle, check for pulse, pretty similar activities... He certainly tripped over every attempt to make her more comfortable but chilling with a dead friend seems hard. I feel like in his defense Chris has been trying to juggle a lot recently.

I'm not sure how many crazy stressful situations you've been in but its always weird to me how people that have been through before don't freak out as much as you think they would, or they think they should and just try and do normal things while the house burns down behind them.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Andi