Damien

I rubbed my temples as I looked down at the papers in front of me.

I'm looking over the proposals for new trading fleets that we are thinking of acquiring for our expansion and right now, I can't seem to keep my focus on the proposals in front of me.

I pushed of my desk and walked over to the large open window.

I looked down at the city lights and sighed.

I don't understand what's going on with me. I've just been so lost and confused.

I need to get the hell out of here.  There's only one person who can help me.

***

"What's on your mind, honey," my mom asked as she placed a glass of water and a piece of pie in front of me.

I smiled. "Nothing," I said. "I just wanted to visit."

"Honey, you know I love having you guys home, but I know you, Damien. You don't come unannounced or at this hour unless something is on your mind or something is bothering you," she said. "Is this about work?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then what is it?" She asked.

I don't even know where to begin.

"Out of all of you, you've always been the one who has a hard time talking about how you feel. Even more so when your sister was kidnaped. It's like you took on this role of protector. It's as if you felt like you had to grow up fast and I'm sorry for that," she said and I shook my head.

"Mom, no. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"We do. We tried to shield you and your brothers and sisters as much as we can, but it was a hard time for our family. You took on a big role when it comes to making sure your siblings were okay and shielded them from the press and the attention surrounding Lia's kidnaping.

"You and dad protected us. I knew how hard it was for the two of you, but you kept strong and held us together. I wanted to help."

She smiled. "I'm glad you think so and I'm glad that we made it through everything. And we are so thankful for what you did for your siblings."

I smiled. I love my family and I'd do anything for them. Anything to keep them safe. But the real heroes are our parents. They were our role models and they were the ones who showed us how to care and protect the ones we love. They showed us the value of trust and the importance of faith.

"You and dad always made it seem so easy. Even if we were going through something difficult, you always had faith. How did you and dad do it? I mean how do you do it?"

"Oh honey, it wasn't easy and we've stumbled a few times, but we always knew that our love was greater than anything else. We knew that we were stronger together than we were apart. We love our family and we wouldn't let anything break us or make us lose sight of that."

I smiled and nodded. "Well we didn't see those stumbles.

She chuckled. "Good. We wanted you all to grow up knowing how to fight through all the bad shit in this world," she said making me laugh.

"Mom, do you realize that's the first time I heard you swear?"

She laughed too. "After what this family has been through, I think I deserve it."

I chuckled.

"Honey, whatever it is that's bothering you, just know that we're always right behind you."

"I know mom."

"Your dad and I are so damn proud of all of you. Each one of you has made this family richer with love and happiness. You and your siblings are our greatest treasure."

"I love you, mom," I said.

"I love you too, my sweet boy," she said, as she wrapped me in her arms.

My mom always knew what to say and never fails to make us feel loved and important.

"I hope I find what you and dad have found in each other one day," I said.

My mom pulled back and I saw it on her face. The realization of what has been on my mind.

"Is this what's been on your mind?"

I nodded.

"Oh honey..." she said as she sat back down.

"I just... I don't know, I guess seeing Lia, Bella, and Dylan so happy just made me realize how empty my life is without anyone to share it with. I guess, I don't know, I mean, how do you even know if you've met the one. The one you can bare your soul to and ignite a fire within you that just makes you burn with needing and wanting them in your life."

"It's different for everybody. It can happen fast for some, while it happens slowly for some. It slowly creeps up on you and before you know it, it just hits you like a full force."

"Is that what happened between you and dad?" I asked. I never really asked my mom how she and my dad fell in love. Not like Katie did. I mean, I knew how they met and all that, but not how they fell in love.

My mom smiled. "It happened fast for me, while it took your dad a while to catch up. I fell in love with him and Lia the first time we met. It sounds crazy and for some even impossible, but I just knew. It just hit me. I can't explain it. I just did. I fell in love," she smiled fondly. "But it wasn't easy for us when we first started. You know your dad was married before me and there was lot of guilt there. So it took awhile for your dad to finally admit how he felt about me, but when he did he said he knew the first time he laid eyes on me that I was trouble," she chuckled.

"Trouble?"

She nodded. "Yup. I fought him and challenged him every step of the way. I wasn't going to back down, especially when I knew I was right."

"And you're always right," I added.

She laughed. "That's right," she said with a wink.

I chuckled.

"Honey, you know, love is a gift and not everyone is lucky to be blessed with it. So when it is gifted to you, you take it and you hold onto it no matter how hard it can get, because the best kind of love is the kind of love that survives through all the bad. It's not always going to be good and happy, sometimes it's going to hurt and make you want to give up, but if you just fight and have a little faith it can be amazing," she said. "You'll stumble and fall and make mistakes, but the one, the one who makes you feel everything will be worth it."

"How do you even know if she's the one? I mean, I haven't met anyone yet that makes me feel all those things."

"It doesn't always happen right away. There maybe some people you meet along the way before you meet the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. But I've always believe that you'll know. You'll feel it," was all she said. "There's a sense of recognition that comes over you. There's a moment of silence. Confusion and denial. A moment of disbelief. Then there's a wave of calmness that just washes over you. It's different from anything you've ever felt before. It's strong and clear"

I tried to absorb everything my mom just said to me and it all seems surreal, but I guess you never know until you experience it yourself.

"My dad always said, there are a lot of people you can live with, but there's only one person you can't live without, and when you find that one person you're not going to want to let go, because your life wouldn't work without that person in it. And that is exactly how I felt about your dad. There was a time when I just wanted to give up and leave your dad, because it hurt too much, but then I thought about not being with him, and the thought was even more painful and unbearable. I knew I couldn't leave him."

"You never told us about that," I said.

She almost left dad?

"It was a long time ago. Before all of you was born. Like I said, it had something to do with your dad's guilt about his first wife."

"Dad loves you, mom. You're his world."

She smiled lovingly. "I know that." I saw a tinge of sadness in my mom's eyes and I didn't like it.

"Grandpa sounds smart," I said, wanting to change the subject."

"He was a great person. A wonderful husband and a damn good dad. He would have loved and spoiled all of you dearly and would have been so proud of you guys."

With how amazing my mom is, there is no doubt she had amazing parents to lead as an example.

"You have a big heart, Damien and a good head on your shoulder. You've always been too hard on yourself. Sometimes you just have to let things go and fall into place. Don't over think things. Falling in love isn't something that you can solve, force, or make it happen with focus and determination. It's not something you can have if you just put your mind to it. It's not like your work. Love happens naturally and unexpectedly. That is what's so special and magical about falling in love."

I frowned as I thought about what she said. My mom was right. It's not like work or contracts where I can cross the t's and dot the i's and there, done. It's not as easy as closing a deal or signing a contract. No matter how and I want it, it will not happen until the time is right.

And the times is not right.

I smiled at my mom. "How do always know just what to say."

She chuckled and shrugged. "I'm your mother."