YOU CAN'T LOVE US BOTH.

"ARE YOU GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAY?" Sirius asked.

Yet again, he and Danica were stowed away in the Shrieking Shack. Christmas break was nearing, and as the weeks had passed, they only grew closer and closer as she and Remus grew further apart. Danica was just as enamored with Sirius as he was her, and neither wanted to be parted over the holiday. It wasn't as if Sirius could go home with her.

"No, we're all staying here," she said while crouching down in front of him to check her work.

Sirius had requested a haircut, and Danica was doing her best with a pair of scissors meant to cut paper. And of course, she didn't dare cut it all the way off, thinking he looked far too handsome with a head of thick hair.

"That means I get the Christmas feast," he said, grinning. "The House Elves make the best ham."

"No, the mashed potatoes is where it's at," she laughed, moving back behind him to keep cutting.

"Don't make it too short," he reminded her, watching the pieces of hair that fell on the front of his shirt.

"Oh, I wouldn't dare," she said. "Then I couldn't do this."

Suddenly, Danica threaded her fingers in his hair and tugged on it, much like she did in the middle of a heated make out session. Sirius let out a little grunt, loving when she pulled his hair.

"Merlin, hurry up and finish so that I can get you back for that," he said, making her laugh.

"Oh, before I forget, I made the arrangements for Harry's Christmas present like you asked," Danica said. "It's so kind of you — getting him a Firebolt. I could only dream about having that broom."

"Then let me get one for you," Sirius suddenly offered. "I've plenty of money."

"No, way," she said, hiding how flattered she was by the offer. "Charlie's broom works perfectly well. But Harry, he's never had a nice thing in his life. He deserves that broom."

"Well, then what do you want for Christmas?" he questioned.

"What, are you gonna waltz into Hogsmeade and buy me something?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Both knew she had a good point. "Finished."

Danica tossed the scissors on the table and stood in front of Sirius, who was still seated, while she admired her work.

"How do I look?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow. There weren't any mirrors in the Shack.

She moved to stand between his parted legs and wrapped her arms around his back. "Disgustingly handsome, as always. It's really not fair to other boys that you get to be so pretty."

"Pretty?" he repeated. "Hmm, I usually get things like handsome and god-like and — hey!"

He laughed as she pinched his shoulder. "You are such a pretty boy, Sirius Black," she told him before leaning in to kiss him. "So pretty and all mine."

☽︎

On the last day of the term and just eight days before the full moon, Danica finished another batch of wolfsbane potion. She has seven vials of the potion in a basket, knowing that the child would need to take them during the week leading up to the full moon. And much to disappointment, the full moon that year fell on Christmas Eve. All she could think about was the poor first year who would be in agony on the holiday.

"Here you are, Professor. I'm glad I finished it before the train leaves tomorrow," Danica said when she walked up to Professor Snape's desk to drop off the potion as she normally did.

Snape stared fully at the vials, silently making sure that they were the right color. They were perfect, of course, but he wasn't going to satisfy her with his praise, much to her annoyance.

"Good," he said in a dull tone. "Take it to Professor Lupin's office. I do not have the time to deliver it this month."

Danica's face scrunched up in confusion. "Professor L—"

"Take it, Miss Selwyn," he said sharply.

For just a moment, she stood there silently. But when Snape glared at her, she flinched and took the basket, leaving his office. And as she walked to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, her mind swam with thoughts of what this could mean.

The wolfsbane potions were going to Remus, not some first year as Snape had said. Which meant only one thing. He was a Werewolf.

Danica felt stupid all of the sudden. It made so much sense — why he was out sick so often and why he was always so tired. Not to mention his scars. The wolfsbane potion had only been developed over the last few years, so he'd have grown up without it.

It felt like her feet were lead as she got closer and closer to his office. No, Danica wasn't scared of Professor Lupin, but she was scared to let him know she now knew his secret. It was something so private, and Snape had no right telling Danica, no matter how inadvertently.

Not to mention this would be the first time in a month that Danica had willingly spoke to Remus, as both had been avoiding each other. Their private lessons were stiff and uncomfortable to both of them, Remus not wanting to cross any lines now that he knew she was seeing someone that wasn't him.

After taking a deep breath, she knocked on Remus' closed office door. After a quick come in, she slipped inside, shutting the door behind her, not wanting to risk anyone overhearing the conversation that was no doubt about to transpire.

"Miss Weasley," Remus said, looking at her in surprise. She was the last person that he expected to see. "How may I help you?"

Slowly, Danica pulled the basket from behind her back. "I, uh, Professor Snape asked me to deliver these to you."

Instantly, his face paled, recognizing the familiar potion that he relied on.

"He said it's Pepper Up potion. Since you've been under the weather," she lied poorly.

And it was evident that Remus didn't believe her for even a second. Both knew she was too gifted at potions to not be able to recognize the distinctness of wolfsbane potion.

The silence was agonizing as Danica sat the basket on a nearby table. Then she glanced at Remus, whose fist were clenched and angry tears were in his eyes.

"Remus," she said softly.

"Don't," he said harshly. "Just go."

"I - I've been the one brewing it all semester. I thought that - that it was for a student," she murmured. "You're a—"

"I already know I'm a monster, Danica. I don't need you to tell me," he cut her off.

Danica frowned and stepped close to him. "You're not a monster—"

Again, he cut her off, this time with a harsh laugh. "Don't humor me. I know what I am, and so do you now. Just goes to show I was right. I was fool to ever think that someone like me could ever be with someone like you. Someone so disgustingly scarred and broken."

"Stop it," she said, getting even closer until she was right in front of him. "Stop talking about yourself like that. You're not broken, Remus. I don't care that you're a Werewolf."

"You should," he whispered. "Everyone else in our world would be running away right now."

"I'll never run from you, Remus," she said. Then when he wouldn't look at her, she cupped his cheek and brought his gaze to her. "I've always thought you were breathtaking. That hasn't changed."

He shook his head, the anguish still on his face. "Don't humor me, Sweetheart."

Danica frowned, growing angry at him for thinking so little of himself. "Remus Lupin, you are beautiful and full of life. And just because you're a Werewolf doesn't mean you don't deserve a life full of happiness and love. You deserve to be loved."

Moving slowly, he covered her hand on his cheek and intertwined their fingers. "But not by you?"

"I think I've always loved you, Professor," she admitted softly. "And I always will."

Remus let out a shaky breath. "But you've moved on. Like I wanted you to. Because you deserve someone normal. Someone that would never put you at risk. Whoever he is."

Danica shook her head, knowing that she couldn't tell him about Sirius. "Telling you who he is won't change things."

"Well, if you supposedly love me, why are you with him?"

"Because you wouldn't give me the time of day," she reminded him.

"And if I'm ready now? To give you everything you deserve?"

"I can't just break up with him. There's something there," she whispered.

"You can't love us both."

"And what if I do?" she asked, thinking back on Sirius. Did she love him? She knew he brought her the same warmth and happiness that Remus brought her, and she never wanted it to come down to a choice between the two. "Can't me loving you be enough?"

"I don't believe that you do," he said sadly. "How can you love a monster?"

"I'm getting tired of you calling yourself that," she muttered. "Merlin, Remus, don't you know you're perfect? How can I make you see that?"

Remus closed his eyes as she leaned closer, her nose brushing his. Then she kissed his cheek before beginning to kiss all over his face — his cheek, his nose, his jawline. And finally, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

He sighed in relief against her mouth, feeling like he could breathe properly for the first time in months. His touch was gentle as he pulled her closer, their chests brushing.

His tongue traced the seam of her lips, and she let him in instantly. It was a slow and gentle kiss, nothing like all the heated ones they'd shared in their night together. And when they needed to breathe, Remus pulled back but rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Danica," he whispered. "But I'm still your teacher."

A guarded look crossed Danica's face, and she slowly backed out of Remus' hold. After everything, how was it still coming down to that?

"Why can't I be enough for you?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes.

Remus reached for her. "Sweetheart—"

"No!" she snapped. "Make up your mind and leave me the fuck alone until you do!"

"Please, just give me a moment to—"

A knock on the door interrupted him, much to his annoyance. And then a second later, they heard Harry's gentle voice.

"Professor Lupin? May I come in?"

"Of course, Harry," Remus said, not taking his eyes off Danica until Harry opened the door.

"Oh, hi, Dan. I can come back," the boy offered.

"No," Danica said, turning to smile weakly at him. "We're finished here."

☽

When Christmas Eve arrived, Danica snuck out to meet Sirius at the Shrieking Shack earlier than normal. Every year, she and Claudia had a sleepover so that they could wake up together on Christmas, and Dan didn't want to be late.

She and Sirius were sitting on a blanket on the floor, a spread of empty plates around them. They were finishing off the apple pie that she'd brought.

"I got you something," Danica revealed as she took her last bite.

Sirius frowned, knowing how tight money was in her family. He hated the thought of her spending any of hers on him, not thinking he deserved anything from her.

"I thought we agreed no gifts?" he asked. Then he huffed as if he was angrily. "I was hoping to make you feel absolutely horrid and inconsiderate after I gave you my gift."

Danica laughed and shook her head while reaching into the picnic basket that she brought, pulling out a fairly large wrapped parcel. Meanwhile, Sirius summoned a small box that was wrapped in old newspaper he found.

"You first," she said, holding out the package.

Sirius looked at her disapprovingly before tearing into the gift. And he instantly recognized the item as a sweater. It was Gryffindor red with a big, golden S stitched in the middle.

"I, um, asked my mum to make it. Said it was for a new friend," she mumbled, feeling a bit shy. "I know it gets cold in here at night."

Sirius looked at her lovingly, putting his hand to his chest, showing how much he cared. "It's perfect."

"Good. I'll open mine from her tomorrow morning. Then we can match," she grinned.

"Darling, why does it feel like you're claiming me in some way with this?" he asked teasingly.

She hummed and crawled closer to him. "Maybe I am," she admitted before kissing him softly. "Now, gimme."

Sirius chuckled and handed her the small box, which she carefully unwrapped. Since Sirius didn't have access to a present box, it was covered with cardboard he'd bent into the shape of a box.

She shook it playfully and heard something rattling around before she actually opened it. And her mouth parted in awe when she saw a golden necklace. And engraved into the small pendant was a star.

"Did you know that Danica means 'morning star'?" he asked her, sounding nervous, as if he was scared she wouldn't like it.

"It's beautiful," she whispered before looking at him. "How'd you get this?"

"Don't worry about it. It's been in the family for years," he told her. "You know, we're all named after heavenly bodies — my family. Though I think you have the most heavenly of them all."

Danica giggled at his cheesy line before taking the necklace out of the box. "Help me put it on?"

"Of course."

She turned around after Sirius took the necklace, and he pushed her hair off her neck. After placing the necklace around her neck and fastening the clasp, he leaned down, running his lips lightly over her shoulder.

"Happy Christmas, Darling," he murmured.

Danica's eyes fell shut as he began kissing underneath her jaw. "Happy Christmas, Sirius."